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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

tuesday things

:: Tuesday Randoms ::

July 25, 2017

:: Tuesday Randoms ::


I felt that out of all of the Villas on Lake Como,
Villa Fanny wasn’t all that pretty, but would be where I would most fit in. 

I am slowly making my way through my DVR,  and my brain seems to be slowly coming back to it’s normal state.  I went through the Starbucks drive through yesterday – for the first time ever – and ordered something other than water – for the first time ever – because I feared I was a danger to myself and others on my drive to the grocery store.  Seriously.  I pray my first day back at work today goes better than Sunday and Monday did.  I truly don’t know what is wrong with me that I am this jet lagged; this has never happened!

I still felt the need to make a home cooked meal for my hard working husband having to go back to work with me having the one extra day, so I knew anything super easy with a crock pot would have to do.  I googled “skinnytaste chicken crock pot” and made this Honey Sesame Chicken recipe.  We both loved it!!

// SKINNY TASTE CROCK POT SESAME CHICKEN //
I served ours over quinoa and added some steamed broccoli as well.
Kip gave it two thumbs up, I added in the enthusiastic + fine holiday fun because I can never not think of Clueless when hearing two thumbs up…. 

We are trying to slowly come down from our all-carb two week diet.  I am having cravings like no other; my body can definitely tell it was given a lot of a good thing and it wants it back!  Now that I think about it, since I had espresso everyday there to stay awake and never drink coffee, maybe I am having coffee/caffeine withdrawals for the first time in my life?? Is that possible from 2 weeks of espresso shots?? Probably not….. probably just the carb withdrawals 🙂

Speaking of catching up on my DVR, I saw the first teaser’s for BIP while watching Rachel’s Hometown Dates (OMG to Dean’s Hometown…. poor thing…. that really does take the cake for “most dramatic/uncomfortable/WTF is happening hometown in Bachelor history” and I felt awful for him) and in my excitement for BIP’s return I saw this news blurb about Robby and Amanda dating.

Can Amanda date ANYONE not in the Bachelor family? Please? For the sake of her gladiator-sandal-clad little girls?

I started working on my packing post,
but wanted to share a key item that I just came across
(and it keeps going on sale so I’ll try to keep an eye out for you!)

I wore a Straw Hat  that I had used for several previous beach trips for most of our time in Lake Como to protect my face from the sun.  We spent two whole days strictly outside sightseeing and being on boats so it was a necessity.  This hat is PACKABLE! I wish I had found this before our trip because the brim on mine was a total mess and completely lopsided from all the rough packing heading place to place!  It has great reviews and it is under $50 even before going on sale!

// PACKABLE STRAW HAT // 

and for those of you wondering if my Most Comfortable Sandals In The World that I had posted about at length were as wonderful as I thought after doing up to 25,000 steps per day?

Please allow this horrific tan line photo (please ignore cankles and mosquito bites) to answer that question: YES.  Not one moment was not PERFECTLY COMFY and heavenly in these shoes.  It blew my mind.

I wore my gold sandals at night, but clearly these were the only shoes that I wore all day every day!!
They were the best purchase I made for the entire trip! I know those exact sandals are only available in limited sizes, but they also have tons of different styles with the same comfy technology built in to shop from!

And finally,
I thought I would share this article I came across for
10 Under The Radar Italian Towns to Add to Your Bucket List.

These all look ah-mazing.
Time to start planning our next getaway?
Yeah right….. I wish…..

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

:: Favorite Earrings + Recovering from Jet Lag ::

July 24, 2017

:: Favorite Earrings + Recovering from Jet Lag ::


Buckle up for the most exciting post ever.
 Severe Sarcasm….. My brain is mush so I am rambling more than ever!

We are home after 15 days out of the country and WOW is my jet lag 10x more intense than in the past.  It didn’t affect me very much last time, but yesterday and today I feel like I’ve been drugged!

Our trip was absolutely incredible and I will be posting more pictures on instagram this week because I still have so, so many to share! I will also be doing full recaps for you starting next week – promise! Thank you all again for all of your help with things to do and places to go – y’all are a travel-planning dream come true!

Today I am sharing a favorite pair of earrings that I wore several times on our vacation.

Oh, and incase you missed it on my instagram stories, I singed my neck night one with my curling iron-straightener-combo that I bought for the trip.  So that lovely scar is there for two weeks and is just now looking better!

Earrings were the only jewelry I packed (one of my packing tips for traveling abroad with only a carry on I will be sharing!)
These were the perfect way to dress up a simple, solid colored dress or a pair of jeans with a blouse.
They are super light weight too despite their size!

// STATEMENT EARRINGS //
also available in white

a few other pairs of statement earrings that I am loving : 

UNDER $25 DROP EARRINGS// TASSEL CLUSTERS // OMBRE FINGE DROPS //  SANDBAR DROP EARRINGS

On to some trip rambling……

I was hoping to have more to share with you all today, but I am still so out of it.
Proof of this : we got home at 8 PM on Saturday night (after a horrendous 10 hour flight turned to 12 hours) , and I have about 25 hours of TV on my DVR (likely more) and all I have watched is 3 episodes of Big Brother and 1 episode of RHONY.
I tried to watch my DVR’d shows on the airplane but it wouldn’t let me stream them! The horror! 

I also greatly underestimated the amount of television awaiting me, and I knew it would be a ton, but I feel like I truly missed the 2 biggest weeks of TV show endings and premieres of THE WHOLE YEAR.  The timing of this trip couldn’t have been worse for Coffee Talk 🙂 My sincerest apologies that I abandoned our weekly gossip sessions at the worst possible time!

It has been eye opening to stare at the DVR at be like “Wow…. this is how much TV I watch??”   And I don’t mean eye opening in a sense that I feel shameful for the amount, which any sane normal person would.  I mean eye opening in a sense that I am SO PROUD of myself for somehow fitting it all in!

y’all…. if you haven’t already concluded…. this post goes nowhere…. just a heads up. 

The shows in the DVR Include:

Southern Charm Reunion
Shahs of Sunset
Odd Mom Out
Real Housewives of NYC
Real Housewives of Orange County
Million Dollar Listing New York
Below Deck Med
Sweet Home Oklahoma
Watch What Happens Live

The Bachelorette
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Making the Team.
Big Brother
The Next Food Network Start
The Great British Baking Show
Barefoot Contessa (Um YES these last two count!)

and that’s just the important ones.  There’s tons of House Hunters + Chopped + who knows what else that are never going to see the light of day.

ANYWAYS.

My jet lag is extreme, so I promise to have all of my Italy + Amsterdam Posts ready for you  by next week at the latest, but right now I am just trying to function on an hourly basis.  Perhaps I need to continue my 2x a day daily espresso (morning and lunch) that I did on the trip to keep my eyes open? I hate Coffee but it really seemed to help!

Happy Monday Everyone! Hope you all have a great start to the week!!

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
friday randoms

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::

July 21, 2017

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::

Cheers to Friday!

villa carlotta, tremezzo in lake como 

Today is our last day in Italy, and we fly home tomorrow on an 11 AM flight Italy time, landing around 4 PM Atlanta time.   Keep following along on instagram as I am still posting pics!
I still am completely undecided as to what to watch on the plane – I got so many incredible recommendations that I don’t know what to choose!

Even though I have been gone for two weeks, I am definitely not ready to come home! I am working on uploading the tons of photos I have taken to my computer (slow wifi here big time) and I promise lots of posts and trip recaps in the coming weeks! With the ever important packing post so many of you want first! 

My favorite day of the trip was probably when we chartered this boat and went to lunch on a private island, but I will share more of that next week!

I am almost finished with The Book Thief and absolutely love it.  It is truly amazing and so, so well written.  I can’t believe I never read it years ago when it came out! I stopped Crazy Rich Asians about 2/3 of the way through so that I could read The Book Thief on the trip, but am looking forward to finishing that hopefully this weekend too!!  I didn’t have as much time to read on this trip so It’s Always the Husband still has not been touched.

Most important news of today is that
The Nordstrom Sale is now OPEN TO ALL!
There are still so many amazing things fully stocked to snag – so get over and grab them before they go!

A few things that I ordered to try out when I get home :
these beautiful stud earrings // black high waisted workout leggings
// this look for a rehearsal dinner option for a late fall wedding // this blouse //
these adorable sandals (I got the nude) that I can’t believe are still fully stocked //
these leggings that I have always wanted to order try after such rave reviews.

Check out three of my previous posts with picks from the Sale: 
My Big Nordstrom Sale Roundup, with over 75+ Choices.
A Roundup of great options under $50
and A few more favorites from the Sale. 

:: FRIDAY FINDS :: 

My eye keeps going back to this draped cashmere vest since I live in my lightweight navy one from Zara.  It’s such a versatile piece and perfect for layering.  They have it in four colors and it is under $100!

I use my travel jewelry case frequently – it was essential for this trip! I adore the color and laser cut leather of this case. 

The perfect flats for fall. 

These stud earrings are under $25 and adorable – I love the tortoise and the aqua blue style best!

This lace romper is great to wear now while it’s still summertime, and it’s under $50!

A perfect buttery suede drape front jacket in two colors and under $60.

A bright pop of color and a split back make this a perfect statement top for fall and for now!

The home section of the sale is not to be forgotten! I love this rug and these serving trays  or one in this style always make the perfect gift.

I would love to put this in the corner of our kitchen counter that gets filled with things and disorganized – a pretty way to keep it all within reach!

This blouse looks just like one on sale from Theory, but it is is a fraction of the price and under $60.

I have two of these super soft v-neck tees and love them for cooler temps.

Never saw stacked wooden heel I didn’t like, and these tall boots are perfect for fall.  

A great striped tee with bell sleeves for only $25! 

 

 I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
beauty, beauty products, Lifestyle

:: Beauty Favorites ::

July 20, 2017

:: Beauty Favorites ::

I haven’t seen an ounce of television in 13 days (who’s counting?)
so my apologies for no Coffee Talk again this week!

Instead, I wanted to share two of my favorite products beauty with today!
ya know….since I am such a beauty product connoisseur.
and the last time I washed my bronzer brush I bought 2 years ago at CVS was…. ohhhhh….. never. 

I have only had one facial in my life.  I wish I could say that it was before my wedding or something of that sort, but it was when Kip and I were moving from Chicago and I had an unused gift certificate to a salon across from our apartment to use. Instead of a massage I opted for a facial and loved it! My favorite part of the entire experience was when she removed my blackheads. I had naively been thinking I had fairly “good” skin and didn’t realize that was something I desperately needed!

Also, if any of you have a facialist or a place you recommend in the Atlanta area please let me know! 

I don’t know about you, but in high school we always used those Biore Blackhead strips that went across your nose (or chin or forehead) and when you ripped them off (sometimes quite literally, and it would take a layer of skin with it) you would see all the little black dots that satisfyingly came with it!

Within the last few months, since I was desperate for a facial but didn’t know who to go see, I had been buying several things at the drugstore, including the Biore brand.  Nothing worked.  The strips didn’t remove a thing (for myself or for my husband.  And skin things are one of the few things he will be a guinea pig with – he actually is better with washing his face than I am!)

I had posted on the blog about not finding anything to get rid of my blackheads, and a sweet reader named Nancy e-mailed to say she would send me a sample of a mask to try.  A few weeks after trying other products with no success, I figured what the heck, and she kindly sent me a sample of a dream potion. The mask is BeautyCounter’s Charcoal Mask #3.  I loved it so much after one use that I went online and bought the full size bottle immediately.  Seriously.

And don’t worry – I paid for this mask full price with my own cash! I love my R+F, which I also pay for every 60 days, but I have used several masks and never found anything that works except this! 

AND the bottle is absolutely gorgeous. Which is just an added bonus.

I had heard about charcoal being great for your skin and all sorts of charcoal beauty products, but it was crazy putting this on!! You apply a layer all over your face, and within minutes will start to see black spots all across your pores where the blackheads are.  When I washed it off, I was shocked at how great of a job it did with removing my blackheads.  (I was also disgusted with how many large black spots showed up on my face, hence why I know I am in dire need of a facial – send recommendations ASAP!) .

Also – allow me to share a hideous and embarassing photo of myself using the mask! And this was my second time using the mask about 2 weeks later, I don’t even want to share the first time….. the amount of dark spots was horrifying. (My girlfriends that saw my snapchat of the first use would agree).

I probably shouldn’t share that, but I humiliate myself regularly here, so why stop now.

I truly can’t recommend it enough – and if you are interested, feel free to send Nancy an e-mail to ask any questions because one try was all it took for me to order it on the spot.  You can also check out her Beauty Counter Shop here.  

Another beauty product I wanted to share is a make-up product.  If you have been reading for awhile you know I am not a beauty or make-up person – I like to keep things simple! But I kept noticing a certain someones skin looking great and I knew from my genius-level-of-reality-television-knowledge that she did not have the greatest skin in real life and that she had commented on it before.

Feel free to judge, but I am talking about Ms. Stassi Shroeder of Vanderpump Rules.  I can’t remember what podcast that she was a guest on, but someone asked her about her skin or she said she always gets complimented on her skin despite having acne and that it’s all thanks to this one product.

 Sephora Perfect Mist Airbrush Foundation.  

So the last time I was at the mall, I decided instead of my Maybelline BB Cream mixed with moisturizer, I would try some of this for weekends when I wear more makeup and I love it. I got a travel size brush because I was at the checkout counter line and apparently they have Sephora set up like Marshalls/Home Goods/ TJ Maxx and they like to prey on the weak and convince them they need more things that they do not 🙂

Anyways, I really like the light coverage the spray foundation gives but it definitely does makes my skin look far better than when I wake up!

SO.  I am as far down on the list as it goes for beauty blogging, but these are two things that I use and love!

I’d love to know what skincare and make-up products you swear by as well!

I’d also love to know how amazing Bravo has been – OC Premiere, Southern Charm Reunion, NY Housewives trip to Mexico, and Big Brother…. so without spoilers, feel free to share how enriched your lives have been from hours in front of the TV while I have been away…..  

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

:: Favorites Under $50 ::

July 19, 2017

:: Favorites Under $50 ::

POLKA DOT RUFFLE SLEEVE TOP 


LUSH RAW EDGE TEE


JCREW BUILT IN CUFF SHIRT 


LACE NECK TANK 

BP RIBBED CARDIGAN 

LACE COLD SHOULDER TOP 

ZELLA HIGH WAIST LEGGINGS  // ZELLA HOODIE 


BOW TIE FRONT TOP 

TIE FRONT PULL OVER 

PJ SET 

GREY MULES 

ARTICLES OF SOCIETY JEANS 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
recipe

:: Healthy Broccoli Salad ::

July 17, 2017

:: Healthy Broccoli Salad ::

We have been go-go-go since meeting up with Kip’s family in Lake Como! I’ll work on having my other prepared posts ready for you all for the rest of the week (I have an incredible skincare mask I have been wanting to share!) but for today I have a great healthy recipe. (If you missed last week’s not-so-healthy Tres Leches Cake make sure you check that out!)

Creamy peanut butter sauce, crunchy water chesnuts, and scallions are all I needed to see to know I would love this Healthy Asian Broccoli Salad.

This is a perfect side dish or would be a great lunch with the addition of some grilled or rotisserie chicken! It definitely makes a large portion so it was perfect for me to meal prep and bring to work!

recipe originally from Food Faith Fitness

Save Print
:: Healthy Asian Broccoli Salad ::
Author: Taylor :: The Sarcastic Blonde
Recipe type: Side Dish
Cuisine: Asian
Prep time:  10 mins
Cook time:  10 mins
Total time:  20 mins
Serves: 8
 
This crowd-pleasing healthy broccoli salad is a no-cook side dish, loaded with creamy peanut sauce! It's quick and easy, gluten free and vegan with a paleo option!
Ingredients
  • For the salad:
  • 5 Cups Broccoli, cut into small florets
  • 2 Cups Colelsaw mix (just the cabbage part, no dressing)
  • ½ Cup Water chestnuts, roughly chopped
  • ⅓ Cup Green onion, sliced
  • 6 Tbsp Roasted salted peanuts, roughly chopped (almonds for paleo)
  • For the dressing:
  • ½ Cup Natural peanut butter (Almond butter for paleo)
  • 3 Tbsp Coconut oil, melted
  • 3 Tbsp Fresh lime juice
  • 2 Tbsp Reduced-sodium soy sauce (Coconut aminos for paleo and use GF soy sauce if needed)
  • 2 tsp Agave (honey for paleo)
  • 2 tsp Rice vinegar
  • 1½ tsp Fresh ginger, minced
  • Sriracha, to taste (optional)
  • Salt and pepper
Instructions
  1. In a large bowl, mix together all the salad ingredients.
  2. In a separate large bowl, whisk together all the dressing ingredients until smooth and creamy. Add a pinch of salt and pepper.
  3. Pour the dressing over the salad and mix very well, until the dressing evenly coats the salad. Season to taste with a pinch of salt and pepper if needed.
  4. Cover and refrigerate for at least an hour to let the flavors develop.
  5. Devour!
3.5.3226

 

 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
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Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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