The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

fashion

:: Friday Finds : Nordstrom Sale ::

I can’t believe I am thinking about and browsing through all of these heavy knits and layers when I am sweating my tush off (in a gorgeous bed and breakfast, but still) with no AC in the Lake Como region.  Luckily it all cooled off a bit last night with a huge summer storm that kept us at dinner until almost midnight watching from the patio until we eventually made a run for it and were completely soaked.  It was a pretty magical first day in town.  I slept like a baby listening to the storm last night and it’s gorgeous again this AM.

We are here in Pusiano, a town outside of Lake Como, until Sunday for a wedding. Today we are heading into Como with the grooms family, have the wedding tomorrow, and then head to our house on Lake Como Sunday afternoon!

Make sure you follow along on instagram + instastories to see the daily happenings!

For now, I have TONS AND TONS of great finds for you!

I stayed up late in the storm and got up a little early to look at the gorgeous views of the lake and find all the gorgeous pieces for you!

:: Bottoms/Jeans ::

My absolute favorite designer jeans are included in the sale, and it’s the perfect time to snag a pair of the leggings that will surprisingly be a go to for all of fall + winter!


//  HIGH WAISTED  //  RIPPED SKINNY JEANS  //  RAG AND BONE SKINNY  //
the ripped skinny’s are under $40! 

// SPANX LEATHER LEGGINGS // 

:: Tops ::


// LONG SLEEVED OPEN CARDIGAN // CASHMERE DRAPED VEST //
cashmere comes in several colors and is under $100! 


// STRIPED V-NECK // TIE FRONT SWEATSHIRT // STRIPED LONG SLEEVE TEE //

// LACE TOP // SUEDE SLEEVELESS // WRAP BLOUSE // TIE SLEEVE TOP // OFF THE SHOULDER //


// TIE SIDE SWEATER // RUFFLE HEM // FLORAL TOP // PEPLUM HEM // RUFFLE SLEEVE // 

:: Dresses + Jumpsuits ::


// ONE // TWO // THREE //

// ONE // TWO // THREE //


// ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR // 

:: Shoes ::

The perfect time to stock up on a great pair of designer over the knee boots
or my favorite sandals to buy every year.


// ONE // TWO // THREE  – my choice for comfort! //
all come in multiple color options!

This was the time last year that I got ALL of my booties for the year!


// ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR // FIVE // 

// TORY BURCH FLATS // TORY BURCH SANDALS // 

:: Accessories ::


// SADDLE BAG // WALLET // LONGCHAMP EXPANDABLE // TORY BURCH CROSSBODY // 

// STATEMENT EARRINGS // DIAMOND STUDS // DROP EARRINGS // 

// BURBERRY SUNGLASSES // WRAP WATCH // SCARF // RIMMED SUNGLASSES // 


// TUMI SUITCASE // TRAVEL PASSPORT CASE AND LUGGAGE TAG //
I am still on the hunt for a new suitcase after some mixed reviews about the Away case,
and I know Tumi is a very well loved brand! 

:: Jackets + Blazers + Outerwear ::


// UTILITY JACKET // BLAZER // MOTO JACKET // 

// CASHMERE WRAP  // QUILTED JACKET // BELTED COAT // VEST // 

:: Beauty ::


// CLARISONIC // PURITY SET // 

This is the time to stock up on my favorite perfume! This set has lasted me all year and I don’t need to get any more!
This is the same curling wand I use and I absolutely love it (not the travel one I burned myself with on our trip 🙂 that was a special amazon purchase for the European plugs)

// TORY BURCH PERFUME SET // BEACHWAVER WAND // 

:: Fitness ::


// HIGH WAISTED LEGGINGS // CUT OUT TOP // RACERBACK TOP // SIDE SLIT LEGGINGS // 

 

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fashion

:: Nordstrom Sale ::

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!

The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale starts today with Early Access until July 21st!

This is the time to stock up on all your fall favorites at amazing prices.
Last year I snagged several pairs of boots and sweaters that I wore all fall and winter long.  I also always stock up on my perfume (this has still lasted me I won’t need any for awhile, but it’s the best deal they ever have!)

I am hopping on a train from Milan to Lake Como
to get ready for the wedding weekend,
so I have barely had a chance to look at everything! This is me just getting started 🙂

Here is what I had marked from the catalogue,
and I’ll be back with more finds tomorrow once I am able to put my insomnia to good use tonight and really dig in!!

:: SHOES :: 

If there’s ever been a perfect time for Stuart Weitzman boots, this it it!
I snagged a pair of black OTK from Nordstrom Rack a few years ago and still wear them all fall and winter.


// STUART WEITZMAN BOOTS // 


// SPLIT SHAFT BOOTIE // 

// TORY BURCH RIDING BOOTS // 

 


// GREY SLIDES //

:: SWEATERS, TOPS, JACKETS, AND BLAZERS :: 


// OPEN FRONT CARDIGAN //


// TIE FRONT SWEATER // 


// PLEAT FRONT TOP // 


// SCALLOP HEM SWEATER //  


// DRAPE FRONT BLAZER // 

:: DRESSES AND SKIRTS :: 


// JUMPSUIT // 


// LEATHER SKIRT // 


// BUTTON BACK RUFFLE HEM // 

:: ACCESSORIES :: 


// TORTOISE SUNNIES // 

One of my best purchases last year was this duo of Tory Burch Perfume. I still have both bottles at least half way full and I love having the travel size to bring on all of my vacations.


//  TORY BURCH PERFUME SET //  

// TORTOISE SHELL SUNNIES // 

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Lifestyle

:: Wishlist Wednesday ::

lusts for the week…..

 


// TORTOISE RIMMED GLASSES // 


// PINK CUT OUT SUIT // NAVY BOW SUIT // 


DRESSES : ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR // FIVE 


TOPS : ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR 

GINGHAM DRESSES : ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR // FIVE
GINGHAM BLOUSES :: TOP // MIDDLE // BOTTOM 

 

I apologize if it takes you to the European Site, just switch it back to dollars as needed! 
it automatically changed all of my links since I am editing this in Europe! 

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recipe

:: Crack of the Week : Tres Leches Cake ::

Today I have a recipe for a very different kind of dessert than most that I have shared before!

I had never even had a Tres Leches Cake until someone brought one to work for a birthday from an incredible bakery in Chicago (I’ll try to find out the name….) and I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  It is so different from any other kind of cake I have had before but at the same time it is simple and delicious.  The base is a light and airy sponge cake and then you pour three milks (evaporated milk, sweetened condensed, and heavy cream) over the top and let it all soak in.  What’s not to like about sweetened condensed milk and heavy cream soaking in layers or heavenly sponge cake!?

I used Pioneer Woman’s recipe and did two round cakes to layer instead of one large sheet cake, but the sheet cake is probably easier for pouring the three milks mixture! This cake passed my “crack-worthy” test because Kip and I ate about 1/3 of it and then I had to immediately pack it up for him to take to work the next morning so that we didn’t polish the whole thing off ourselves.  That is always the sign of a successful recipe to me!


Save Print
:: Tres Leches Cake ::
Author: 
Recipe type: Dessert
Cuisine: Mexican
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 1
 
Light airy sponge cake soaked in 3 milks and covered in a delicious whipped frosting.
Ingredients
  • 1 cup All-purpose Flour
  • 1-1/2 teaspoon Baking Powder
  • ¼ teaspoon Salt
  • 5 whole Eggs
  • 1 cup Sugar, Divided
  • 1 teaspoon Vanilla
  • ⅓ cup Milk
  • 1 can Evaporated Milk
  • 1 can Sweetened, Condensed Milk
  • ¼ cup Heavy Cream
  • _____
  • FOR THE ICING:
  • 1 pint Heavy Cream, For Whipping
  • 3 Tablespoons Sugar
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9 x 13 inch pan liberally until coated.
  2. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Separate eggs.
  3. Beat egg yolks with ¾ cup sugar on high speed until yolks are pale yellow. Stir in milk and vanilla. Pour egg yolk mixture over the flour mixture and stir very gently until combined.
  4. Beat egg whites on high speed until soft peaks form. With the mixer on, pour in remaining ¼ cup sugar and beat until egg whites are stiff but not dry.
  5. Fold egg white mixture into the batter very gently until just combined. Pour into prepared pan and spread to even out the surface.
  6. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Turn cake out onto a rimmed platter and allow to cool.
  7. Combine condensed milk, evaporated milk, and heavy cream in a small pitcher. When cake is cool, pierce the surface with a fork several times. Slowly drizzle all but about 1 cup of the milk mixture—try to get as much around the edges of the cake as you can. (note: Recipe makes much more milk mixture than needed!)
  8. Allow the cake to absorb the milk mixture for 30 minutes. To ice the cake, whip 1 pint heavy cream with 3 tablespoons of sugar until thick and spreadable.
  9. Spread over the surface of the cake. Decorate cake with whole or chopped maraschino cherries. Cut into squares and serve.

 

I hope you all love this cake just as much as we did!

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Lifestyle

:: In Heaven in Amsterdam ::

I hope you all had a great weekend!

Kip and I have been having the most amazing time ever in Amsterdam.  It is ten times more beautiful than I imagined it to be, and we have loved just walking around and then sitting down for lunch or a drink at a restaurant on the canal and staring at everything.  I didn’t think that this would hold a candle to Venice – which I loved so much – but I love it here even more.


photo via Instagram from the flower market 

Our AirBnB is in the Jordaan neighborhood of the city which we couldn’t love any more. The kitchen and living areas are nice and big and super bright so it’s a great apartment to come back to for happy hour and veg before heading back out again for the night.

And I promise I will be sharing a full packing post!
I took tons of OCD photos while packing to make sure I could share it all with you.

I know I have gotten lots of emails and questions – and I was able to fit it all into a carryon again this time!

I have a great story to share in the future about my Ambien experience that involves me “sleep eating” dinner like a lunatic and waking up in the morning having bits and pieces all coming together like it was a bad dream……. But I did sleep for most of the flight so that was good! 

Tomorrow I have an insanely delicious cake recipe to share with you!

And as always, follow along on Instagram to see more of our trip! I have exciting things like frying my neck off with the dual straightener/curler I got and having a huge scar on my neck now!  Wine bottles come in very handy when there is no ice ANYWHERE in this entire country.


I swear, what is it with Europeans and their lack of ice (and their lack of ever wanting to give someone more than a thimble’s worth of water) 

We are in Amsterdam until Wednesday when we fly to Milan to start the wedding weekend + Lake Como leg of the trip!

Hope you all have a great start to the week!

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friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: Striped Maxi + Friday Links + Vacation Bound ::

We leave tonight for out trip!!
Are you ready for me to stop talking about it yet? At least the packing/planning discussion can be over….. 
Over the last few weeks I have ordered a ton of dresses for Italy and all but one have been sent back.  Most were awful (very cheap fabric in person), and others were cute but I felt I wouldn’t wear it again.
Then I came across this blue + white striped maxi number.
Amsterdam will be warm during the day and cooler at night (I think.)  Plus the style is so different for the two areas that it has been extremely difficult to pack this time and try to fit everything into a carry on.  I am packing much more casual attire for Amsterdam and more feminine and a bit fancier for Italy.  So when I came across this dress it seemed to fit the bill perfectly for Amsterdam.  It can work for daytime and could be a casual nighttime look with my jean jacket.  It is crazy soft and comfy.  I actually debated wearing it on the flight (I actually prefer to wear maxi dresses on planes they are like big blankets and don’t dig in or leave lines like jeans do!)
And the Angelina Jolie side slits are totally appropriate – promise 🙂 
// STRIPED SUNDRY DRESS //
here is the same dress in a different stripe  and a  black sleeveless version

I mean I don’t know what lens my husband was using or what angle my body was at, but my chest looks about 15 times it’s real size in that last photo so I need to find out how to recreate that exact stance in all aspects of my life.  I swear I am not wearing a teenage girl padded bra (I used to really rock ’em back in the day though. Boobs one day, flat as a wall the next, I was great at keeping everyone guessing!)

I am kicking myself that I forgot to order this version to try.
Because I am OBSESSED.  The cut looks like it would be super flattering.

// STRIPED U-NECK DRESS // 

and I also love this 3/4 sleeve option!

// BASIC STRIPED DRESS // 

:: RHONY ::

Quick thoughts since I won’t have a Coffee Talk next week on this week’s episode that I just caught up on!

I think it’s nice that Bethenny has apologized twice to Tinz for jumping on her at dinner. We learn that this was when the stalking charges were being made public with Jason Hoppy, so clearly she had a lot going on.

WHY CAN’T CAROLE SAY TITO’S (the vodka). It’s SUPER easy. She says Tea (pause) Toe’s . Driving me nuts, it’s like Ramona trying to say Reggae music.

I love Dorinda so much.  Even her talking to Ramona’s (poor trapped) ski instructor is just amazing.  It’s like she knows exactly where he is from the moment he sits down.  She’s just the best.

When Dorinda says you are an Olympic Day Drinker is that the biggest compliment in the world or the biggest nightmare? Hmmmm……

Dinner conversation gets REAL.  I MEAN. REAL. I can’t believe this whole thing is filmed and happening and there are men int he kitchen for all of it! Dorinda talking about “it” is the most hilarious thing in the world. “That is not appropriate behavior. There is a stop sign there.” (It’s not appropriate to say, so just watch the episode.)

Preview for next week: I can’t believe Tinsley just makes out with people like that and tries to eat their face.  And I can’t (slash can) believe that Ramona flips out on Bethenny when she is actually trying to kindly invite her to the trip. She is certifiable.

:: HAIR GODDESS ::
I haven’t seen it yet but I’ve been alerted by 2 TV addicts (my mom and friend that has met my-boyfriend-andy-cohen several times and been to clubhouse more than once – not to brag or anything) that the show Hair Goddess on TLC is a great reality pick to add to the list!

:: LINK LOVE ::

The tag-lines for RHOC  have been released, and they are – as expected – terrible.

Also as expected, Kelly sounds dumb and makes no sense.
Is she trying to make fun of herself? Or reference the puppet master/puppet thing?

I wish I had seen this maxi dress to order for our trip – looks perfect for Italy and is under $50.

Beauty Gurus share 24 Beauty Tips for “Older” Women

Are these skirts really back in style? Because I am all over it but have yet to see everyone wearing them?
these however, I am not okay with coming back in style. 

6 Easy + Healthy Salad Dressings

Ginham + ruffle + bow ties!? Yes, please! 

The perfect wedding guest dress for summer – still in tons of sizes! 

Do you believe the Amelia Earhart Rumors?

A romantic off the shoulder option for under $50. 

Such a cute printed mini – another one I never saw while doing last minute Italy shopping!
and this perfectly easy printed swing dress! 
Where were all of these when I needed them!? 

Crazy Charleston Mansion. Not Patricia’s House, but close!

I meannn this jumpsuit in this color?! Love. My-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen would be all over me. 

Christina from Flip or Flip was wearing the same bikini as me for the 4th of July while boating with her boyfriend. Does anyone else think it’s weird her and Tarek are still doing the show? When it’s kind of known they don’t get along?

The cutest earrings – with a different take on the popular summer style – in tons of colors for only $35! 
love this option too! 

:: VACATION TIME :: 

I’m off to finish packing my beloved travel bag that has seen me through every trip for the last 3 years, and hop on our flight to Amsterdam!

Our flight leaves tonight at 8 PM (so, if you know me, I am begging Kip to get to the airport at like 4 o’clock since it’s international…. I’m an extremely reasonable traveler.)

Follow along on instagram to see all of our adventures for the next two weeks! 

I also have blog posts scheduled so that you all don’t forget about me or miss me too much, so keep coming to The Sarcastic Blonde daily!

…. and feel free to e-mail me at any hour of the night with salacious celebrity gossip or Bravo happenings to keep me in the loop.
I am the only person in the world who goes on a trip like this and is extremely upset about missing television, but what can I say, I know what is important and matters most in life.
Will I look back and remember the TV shows or the memories I made with my husband?
I mean…… it’s a tough call……

Thank you all for all of your recommendations in planning the trip – you all are always SO helpful with everything!

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