The Sarcastic Blonde

:: Favorites Lately : Sweatshirt Dress, Jean Jacket, Statement Earrings and more ::

August 9, 2017

I stalked this dress for a long time to to wait for it to come back in stock in my size, and now they are doing re-stocks all over again. This t-shirt/sweatshirt dress is so freaking comfy and perfect to throw on and go. I wore it two days in a row in Chicago (different people…. and no proof…. so don’t judge…..). I love the pockets and the ruffle sleeve add an adorable little touch.

dress runs true to size
// SWEATSHIRT DRESS // SANDALS // EARRINGS //

The dress also comes in an olive green and a blush color.

A similar dress that I love – same style but in striped!

// STRIPED RUFFLE SLEEVE DRESS //

Another item that I wore all weekend in Chicago, and wear constantly, is my Distressed Denim Jacket.

I have two jean jackets – one in a darker wash and more slim cut that is “dressier”,
and this one in a lighter distressed wash that’s more casual.
This jacket always sells out. I got this last year and just saw that it is re-stocked in all sizes!

jacket runs slightly large, which I like for the casual fit; size down if you want it more snug.
// JEAN JACKET // SWEATSHIRT DRESS // SANDALS // EARRINGS // booties, old Vince Camuto

I got a lot of questions about the earrings I added to my instagram story.

//SILVER DROP EARRINGS // RED BEADED EARRINGS //

I shared the silver drop earrings in Monday’s Post with my wedding weekend look, but here are the red pair.
I absolutely love them – they completely make any outfit and I know I’ll be wearing them constantly. I got so many compliments on them the night I wore them out.

The great news and awful news is that they come in 7 colors and don’t break the bank….
so now I want one of every color……

// BEADED STATEMENT EARRINGS //

One other favorite that I don’t yet have my hands on…..

I have loved step-hem jeans ever since my friend wore a pair on our trip to Scottsdale back in February. Her pair was out of the budget though – so I was so excited when I came across both of these pairs for under $35!

// MID RISE LIGHT WASH // MID RISE BRIGHT WORN WASH //

OH! and one more…. I am so done with my broken suitcase.
Anyone tried this suitcase before? It combines the look of another one I love (delsey) with a killer monogram.

// MONOGRAMMED CARRY ON LUGGAGE //

I need to just bite the bullet already on a suitcase,
but I want one that will actually last longer than out last set did!

and let’s face it…. a monogram wouldn’t hurt either.

International, Travel

:: Amsterdam Travel Guide ::

August 8, 2017

Whew. Making this post almost made me cry because I loved this part of our trip so, so much. We made such incredible memories and it made me miss Amsterdam so much already!

We landed in Amsterdam on a Saturday morning after an overnight direct flight from Atlanta, and we stayed through Wednesday morning (when we flew to Milan to meet up with Kip’s family for the Italian Wedding and Family Vacation). You definitely do not need 4 days to see Amsterdam – we just didn’t want to do anything but relax and enjoy ourselves before 11 days with family, so we didn’t want to train anywhere or anything like that.

Since we were staying for a few days, we knew we wanted to do an Airbnb so that we would have more space and a spot to eat breakfast, etc. I’m a big fan of Airbnb’s because when you are home between a full day of being out and about, and before heading back out for the night, you can have a fridge filled with Pinot Grigio and can grab something simple from the grocery store to eat at home for Cocktail Hour while you shower and get ready. Or to just have a living room sofa to sit in and veg after a long day out. Being stuck in only your hotel room makes that down-time part of the vacation feel like you could be right down the street from your house, but in the apartment you still fully feel on vacation mode. I know it isn’t for everyone – but we love it. I also love being able to make my own breakfast if I want, or for Kip to make his Coffee while he showers and gets ready, and to have space to spread all my crap out and get ready instead of being crammed into one tiny hotel room (especially in Europe where the hotel rooms can be teensy tiny).

When we did Venice-Siena-Florence-Rome-Amalfi Coast, we stayed in all hotels except for Rome and I think we made a good call with that. We were going place to place to place for the first part of the trip, there are stunning hotels everywhere, etc. So it definitely depends where you are going and how long you are staying there.

:: Where We Stayed ::
We stayed in the Jordaan neighborhood / Canal District which had come highly recommended by friends and readers. This it the exact Airbnb we stayed in and we were super happy with the location and the space.

We booked our Amsterdam trip very late as a solo-addition to the family Italy trip, so a lot of the places we found were already booked. So we lucked out getting this one because our options were dwindling by the hour when we were trying to find something.

But overall, Jordaan and the Canal District is where I would recommend staying and what was the overwhelming recommendation from others. We just loved the neighborhood.

:: Travel Tip ::
It’s not necessary to pay for daily wifi when abroad, and we didn’t when we did Italy two years ago, but we did pay for it this time and it was a huge help. I have a killer sense of direction, but your first day somewhere it is all so confusing and there are so many teeny tiny little streets everywhere!

I just saved restaurants/places/etc under Favorites on my iPhone Map (just heart the location) and then it keeps all of them stored for you. Having this map with everything stored in it was a HUGE help.

:: What We Did ::

Anne Frank Museum – an absolute must. They sell tickets online for designated times two months in advance. Do this! We booked about 5 weeks before leaving, so needless to say everything was all sold out. You will wait in long lines, but it’s a must and obviously an experience unlike anything else.

A Boat Tour on the Canals – I think this was our favorite thing that we did the whole trip. There are tons of different boats that you can hop on for an hour tour along all of the canals. One boat (others boats will look like it, but they aren’t!) is 15 Euro for endless drinks during the one hour tour of the canals. It was the most affordable, and beautiful, thing we did all week! You get an entirely different view and new way to experience the city when it is from the canals. We actually ended up going TWICE during our four days there. Don’t judge – it was great and cheap! We loved our first one during the day, so we went back for happy hour before dinner another night and they actually went down different canals for part of it so it was a whole new experience with sunset and happy hour. You can hop on Boat Amsterdam right in the Red Light District area.

Flower Market – The huge tulip fields that you see when picturing Amsterdam were not in bloom when we were there in July, but they have a flower market set up that you can walk through along the canal. This is also a great place to stock up on any knick-knack’s and souvenirs, and of course to buy any flowers if you want to take buds home with you. I got a vase and little ornament for our Christmas tree here, and a lot of the shops are all the same, but at the front and back there were some beautiful shops with gorgeous flowers.

Red Light District – Of course we spent a night in the Red Light District! I was excited to see what all of it entailed because it’s just so crazy to wrap your head around! We got a little boozed up (on our second boat tour for happy hour :D) and walked the streets. It’s crazy. Kip and I laughed our tushes off that night. I don’t really know what else to say about it! The highlight of my red light district experience was seeing an older gentleman (about 75) in a full suit come out of one door saying ‘Thank you, thank you so much, thank you” to the girl and then turn and take 5 steps directly to the other side of the street without even looking up and go straight to another door and open it to another gal. And the other highlight was going to a bar after walking the streets and being there for TWO HOURS drinking before realizing we were in a gay bar. (See….. those 15 Euro boat trips really give you your moneys worth). It was one of the most fun nights of the entire two week trip, Italy included.

Coffee Shops – They are everywhere and they are an Amsterdam experience!

Vondelpark – We grabbed some croissants and drinks and walked through here while venturing to a different part of the city, De Pijp

We did a whole lot of nothing for four days and it was absolutely glorious. Well, we did things…. but it was a lot of just walking (some days more than 20,000 steps!) and playing it by ear, which is the opposite of our action packed trip to Italy two years ago – so it felt that much better. Amsterdam was so gorgeous when we were there, we really lucked out with the weather, and so other than seeing the Anne Frank Museum we just wanted to be outside.

Other recommendations from friends, and people who actually do things and don’t want to be lazily wandering :
Van Gogh Museum
Rent Bikes – I was too terrified. I almost got killed by the bikers when I was on two feet, so I decided biking would not be my best move. I would definitely do it to bike out to the windmills or tulip fields or something, but not on the streets in town where we were!
Head out to the Windmills
Go to the Tulip Fields if you are there when they are in bloom.

:: Where We Ate ::

We had a bunch of great lunches and snacks just wandering the streets with whatever looked good to us, but here are a few specific places. The food overall was great so you will have no problem finding options!

Kantjil de Tigre – I loved this meal so much. It is an Indonesian restaurant and you basically get tons of different things on your place to sample. It was spicy – I am a spice baby – but it was insanely delicious and fun change from anything I have ever had for dinner. Completely understand why it was on so many lists!

The Pancake Bakery – We went here for late breakfast/lunch/brunch and absolutely loved it and we were lucky to snag outdoor table right on the canal. It seems touristy by the name, but it comes recommended by everyone and all the travel guides I read and it was a great easy and delicious meal! Kip got a savory pancake (cheese and something else) which savory seems different for pancakes but the waiter said the savory kind are what they are known for and his was AH-mazing. I got a more traditional and loved it as well, but the savory was hands down the best! Plus their coffee and espresso comes with a stroupwaffel so that was an added perk.

Cafe de Jaren – We saw this corner when we were on the boat cruise and it had beautiful little restaurants with outdoor space right on the water. Bord’Eau is a fancier place on the corner, but right next door is a beautiful outdoor garden and the perfect place for drinks (or food, we just didn’t eat!) and to watch the boats go by. It’s right on the other side of this restaurant below.

Cafe Fontyn – this is a little bar right off the red light district in a cute little square. We came here for cocktails before going out in the Red Light District for the night.

Stroupwaffel + French Fries – two things they are known for that are insanely delicious!

The Pulitzer – this came recommended from someone and it is a beautiful hotel that we snagged cocktails at one night

Kaaskamer – You’ll see cheese shops all over the place – they are adorable. Worth a peek inside and to pick up some cheese to bring back to your place for when you’re getting ready for the night.

Cannible Royale – tried to make it to this one one night, but we were having a great time sitting outside a bar so just stayed and ate closer to our Airbnb, but this is recommended by lots and looks delicious and fun.

Balthazaar’s Keuken – This came recommended by readers, and was actually right next to our Airbnb. I’m sure it is absolutely wonderful, but it wasn’t for us. Other than sushi I am not a fish eater and pretty much everything in the set menu had seafood in it. BUT I know others rave about it, so don’t take my word for it!

De Kas – this requires a taxi, and Kip didn’t want to venture far, so we opted out but this place looks amazing.

:: OUTFITS ::

Day 1 :

//STRETCH DENIM JEANS // ZARA TOP // GOLD SANDALS //

Night 1 :

//BLUE MAXI //CLUTCH WITH DETACHABLE CHAIN // GOLD SANDALS //

DAY 2 :
The morning that I fried myself with my travel curler/straightener combo and had to use the wine in the fridge to try to help cool the burn.

// OLD, OLD NAVY TOP // WHITE DENIM JEANS //

Night 2:

// ZARA ROMPER // GOLD SANDALS //

Day 3 :
No photo (?) Can’t remember!

Night 3:

//BLACK HIGH LOW MAXI // GOLD SANDALS // BAUBLE BAR TASSEL EARRINGS //

Day 4 :

//STRIPED DRESS // NECKLACE // TORY BURCH STUDS //

lunch next to Teri Hatcher….. the only person in all of Amsterdam to know and/or recognize her…..

We loved our time in Amsterdam so, so much. It was freezing and raining when we left Wednesday morning for our flight to Milan – which kind of made it a lot easier to leave and made us that much more grateful for how beautiful it was when we were there!

I always do these posts and think of a million other things that I had wanted to share! So I’ll continue to update it as I think of more! I hope this helps for those of you reaching out with questions!!

To see more of my travel posts, click here, or check out the specific guides below.

Packing for 2 Weeks in a Carry On (Amsterdam and Lake Como)

Packing for 2 weeks in a Carry on (Venice, Siena, Florence, Rome, Positano, Amalfi Coast)

Venice Recap // Siena Recap // Florence Recap // Positano Recap I // Positano Recap II

Next up : Lake Como posts!

fashion

:: Wedding Weekend ::

August 7, 2017

We had an incredible weekend in Chicago for our friends wedding!
I wanted to share the details for my dress and earrings that I wore.
This dress is so comfortable since it has the illusion of strapless without having to pull it up or tug on it. It also met one of my favorite criteria – you can go braless – so even more comfortable.
It also has POCKETS! I have the gigantic iPhone + and I could keep it in my pocket without it showing which was great when we were taking lots of pictures out by the river during cocktail hour. And the length is so fun – I wanted longer since it was black tie optional, but with the illusion mesh panels it still shows plenty of skin in an elegant way.

Another great thing about this dress – I will be able to wear it again and again. It’s a classic black dress and I can change up my accessories, and it will work for summer or winter events equally well.

I found the earrings the day before when walking the Southport Corridor (and stalking our old condo and old apartment) and they were absolute perfect! And although they are large they don’t have a heavy weight, which is especially important when dancing is involved! And they are under $60 so they won’t break the bank.

// SILVER DROP EARRINGS // BLACK MIDI DRESS //
dress runs True to Size

I also wore one of my favorite rings of my moms that I break out for any dressier nights out.

despite this photo…. I actually have quite tiny hands that do not look like wrinkled 90 year old hands.
but damn…. I understand the purpose of Hand Models now….

and a few more photos from the wedding….

// MONOGRAMMED PINK LEATHER CLUTCH //

PS. Chicago brides – Portillo’s Chocolate Cakes is the best idea EVER!

Hope you all have a great start to the week!

fashion

:: Weekend Steals + Deals ::

August 6, 2017

Sunday Finds :

ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR // FIVE // SIX

ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR // FIVE

ONE // TWO // THREE // FOUR // FIVE

coffee talk

:: Coffee Talk 8.3.17 ::

August 3, 2017

DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES…….

:: LAST WEEK’S RHONY ::

I have never been on the “Countess” LuAnn DeLesepps-now LuAnn D’Agostino’s bandwagon. She drives me nuts. And especially ever since the engagement, and her turning their wedding into a Sweet 16/Quincinera/Bridezilla extravaganza with the 21 year daughter as flower girl, my feelings had not gotten any more favorable. But I have to say, this Mexico trip is really turning me around on Lu. I feel like in one day she has me doing a full 180! She tries to give credit to Bethenny with a Thank You toast at dinner (that Ramona clearly ruins), she helps Dorinda to her room to try to get her ready for dinner (but Dorinda power napped until morning – hey, we’ve all been there) and she laughs her way through not one but two face plants on night one in Mexico.

And perhaps the greatest fall in Bravo history. At least the best come back in TV history from a fall because how she didn’t break something in that one from the ledge onto the cement is beyond me!

And in the morning….. she strolls right on out there and joins Dorinda for some morning yoga. I meannnn. Slow. Clap. For. Lu. I have so much more respect for her! And then she ackhowles that yes she is crazy hungover and laughs about the night before, but she is still up and at ’em and going surfing with the girls, all bright eyed and bushy tailed.
Note to self: Next Hangover…. play like a Champion…. play like Countess D’Agostino.

Tinsley clearly made an impression on Scott (I mean… a 5 day date with a flight to Miami? What’s not to like!?) and he’s so crazy over her that he sends her huge bouquets of flowers to the Villa in Mexico. I think it’s really sweet – and I’m happy for her and happy that they are still together – but this just such a Housewife thing.

If I were to go to out of the country with girlfriends for vacation and some guy sent huge bouquets of flowers to a friend where we’re staying after one date I would be like “Listen, we have a serious stage 5 clinger, possible psychotic murdered on our hands. You need to run.”

The next morning, Ramona lives up to her name of “The Apologizer” and jumps into action to try to fix her poor behavior with Bethenny. Clearly not because she is sorry for anything, but because over her fried crispy skinned laser facial’d face dead body is she not going on that tequila tour the next day.

She has such a hard time trying to play nice. “I don’t not-not like you….” I mean come on Ramona. Even you can lie through your teeth better than that!

Bethenny and her one liners have been SO. ON. POINT. They always are, but I’m loving them lately. When they are surfing:
“The only thing that was missing was Ramona and her two floatation devices in case we were drowning to hang on her to her back.”

The gals head out shopping – and I must say all of these stores looked pretty great. Ramona is buying everything that she see’s Bethenny look at or touch that she can get her hands on in an effort to break Bethenny down and get invited to Tequila.

Well, Ramona isn’t actually paying for any of it. LuAnn is handing over all of her money, and she doesn’t even get LuAnn a bag after all that!? Again, I just can’t believe how amazing and chill LuAnn is?!

After shopping, Ramona is exhausted and obviously needs the staff help lower her into the pool. God forbid she use a stair or anything. This woman in unbelievable.

I really love Tinsley…. I really do….. but just drop the Page Six blurb about being a bad houseguest. Who cares and the whining is not a good look for you when your voice can get that high. She was bordering on Landon + Dolphin territory when whining at dinner the first night with that pitch, and then childishly sprinting into the pantry (and no one followed…..awkward….. so you just have to walk back out and sit back down at the table)
But seriously, everyone that watches knows you are not a bad houseguest!
…. I know I dropped it….. but do we think it was Sonja? or Ramona? I bet Sonja.

We finally make it to the day of the Tequila excursion. I was pissed Ramona got herself invited – because nothing would have been better than her having to sit at the Villa by herself but then I realized 1) The staff gets a break from her demanding ass if she is gone and 2) she gifted us the gem of her walking up to the helicopter.

She gets out of the car with a scarf fully wrapped around her entire face as though she is a hostage – I truly don’t know how she can see – and she also has her belly just hanging out over her white jeans. And when she gets out of the helicopter, she keeps it horribly wrapped around her head like she is in the desert riding a camel.

The Tequila Tasting menu and the whole excursion looked amazing.
When it ends, they head back to the Villa to continue the boozefest and give the viewers what they really want!

We only get to see the beginning before a to be continued, but Sonja has rediscovered the Sauce and is drunkenly trying to make-out with LuAnn and talk to Ramona about not being happy because Mario isn’t having sex daily with her.
You know, because Sonja knows it was nightly sex because “she was there”.

Next week it looks like Bethenny loses it on Sonja, gets naked in the pool, and we see 700-Margs Deep Drunk Dorinda.

:: Bachelorette The Men Tell All ::
I had forgotten about half of these people. There is one hot guy I Swear I have never laid eyes on, and I totally forgot Jack Stone until they showed him and then flashbacks of his toothy-horrifyingly-awkward date flashed into my mind.
We barely had any time to reminisce about everyones disdain for Demario because his side-girl Lexi was a blip in the radar, because who cares about Lexi we wanted Bachelor in Paradise scoop, because compared to Lee and the racist and sexist twitter fest he has been having DeMario was nothing.
I must have been living under a rock because I had no idea about Lee and his insanely horrible twitter commentary. I am so glad his ass got handed to him on National television. What a loser.

I am so sad that Dean is going to Bachelor in Paradise!! I know that he is too young and his pants are too tight and his tie is too skinny and he’s just all wrong for the next Bachelor (PLEASE ABC I BEG YOU, CAN WE GET SOMEONE NEW!?
AN UNKNOWN HARDWORKING HOTTIE? IS IT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK!?)
but I feel like he is too sweet for Paradise and it’s just going to ruin him! I hope he’s good and not a man-whore when he goes!
Side note : I just realized that everything I said about Dean, with the exception of age, was Nick and they picked him. Too tight of clothes and went on BIP….. then still became Bachelor…..

If she ends up with Bryan next week I will lose my mind……

And then I’ll get over it in 7 days, just in time for Bachelor In Paradise’s premiere August 14th.

:: RHOC ::

Kelly Dodd is talking to her gem of a husband (you know – the one she compared closely to Hitler and is only married to because she basically couldn’t get divorced from him) about the fight at The Quiet Woman.
I will never get over how great that fight being at a restaurant with that name was.

Michael keeps trying to chime in with “oh when she kicked you out of dinner” but he is confused about which housewife kicked them out when last season. It is understandably confusing because, as the flashbacks lovingly showed us, Kelly has been kicked out of several occasions in her short time on Housewives.

Kelly tries to say that Shannon has Stockholm’s Syndrome and when Michael explains that would means Tamra has her locked up and she takes on the traits of her oppressor Kelly is like “BINGO!!!” and just nods.
Sigh. I really, really, really just can’t with Kelly.

We see all of Sterling’s absolutely thrilling not at all a waste of 15 minutes 8th birthday party, which is pointless except for seeing Lydia get caked in glitter, an then get one moment of Vicki discussing cancer with Peggy.

Of course Vicki has to give cancer commentary. Similar to when she tried to start a cancer charity, the woman has no shame and has learned nothing,
“After everything that happened with Brooks, I think health issues should be kept private. I won’t be asking for records and researching.”

Well, Vicki, people only ask for medical records when they realize someone is faking cancer.
Not when someone has an actual medical diagnosis or health issue.
I see how that can be very confusing though. Very conusing.

Shannon in the car with her 15 year old daughter is basically me but far more calm.

That’s how I react to being in the passenger seat – it is like sheer terror.
I will never be teaching my children how to drive it will All be entirely up to Kip.

If I wasn’t so focused on feeling bad for Shannon and her entire story line being about her weight gain, I would be feeling really bad for Meghan that her entire story line is trying to make her out to be clueless and helpless as a mother. And acting like Big Jim is Dad of the Year. Not buying it.
But Meghan is totally correct in saying that it is a hell of a lot easier to get along with Kelly than to argue with her.
And OF COURSE Kelly tells Meghan at 7 months pregnant that Jimmy has a mistress. She is nuts. I have never seen anyone on TV hit lower than Kelly Dodd. Her and Michael deserve each other.

And then Peggy is getting chummy with Vicki! PEG’S! You are warming up to the wrong person. RUN.

Dud of an episode compared to the weeks past, but I’ll give things time to warm up – OC never lets us down in the end.

:: JACKHOLE OF THE WEEK ::
Brandi Glanville.
The never-ending feud turned lawsuit between her and Joanna Krupa (about Brandi’s foul words regarding Joanna’s lady bits) has come to an end. And of course, not in any sophisticated manner when dealing with Brandi. She had to issue a public apology which is so blatantly not her words nor meant in any way that it basically doesn’t even count, and the other details are sealed by the court. I hope Brandi had to pay some cash to Joanna because she deserves it.

She is a double Jackhole this week because Brandi entered the Celebrity Big Brother house this week. (Why can’t they ever pick anyone classy or decent? The last Americans I remember for this were Spencer and Heidi and they were awful!)
Apparently she is already showing her true colors of complete trash.
“Today, Brandi entered the Celebrity Big Brother house. Before she even got in the door she started running her foul mouth on the live show. She wasted no time calling Eddie dumb and referred to Leann as a f—–g c–t. British tabloids have been reporting on her foul mouth and revealing clothing since then.”

SHE IS THE WORST.

In other news … this season of American Big Brother has been AMAZING.

:: BELOW DECK MED ::
Speaking of THE WORST, Adam and Hannah are just unbelievable.
Adam : “I don’t want the crew to think I’m this crazy, aggressive man…” ….. sooo let me prove it by constantly being completely crazy and aggressive and continuing to eff with Malia.
They are doing a Reunion Episode so I can’t wait to watch Hannah act like she has never done anything wrong and Adam continue to be the stage-5 pathological liar that he is.

:: MAZEL OF THE WEEK ::
To Jill Zarin! For her Annual Charity Luxury Luncheon.
I had read that Bobby was sick again so I am confused if this news came right before her event or after? But either way it looked amazing, raised a bunch of money, lots of bravo-lebs and housewives were present!

You can see a bunch of photos from the event here along with a random old video tour of her NYC apartment?

:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snaochats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day, and likely won’t do the next day either. Or the day after that.