discuss amongst ya-selves……. 

:: will and grace :: 
The most important things first….. 

Tthere is all this news about a will + grace revamp,and if this is true I SIMPLY CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF.
{somehow I can’t find my favorite Jack Gif!! Ah! Insert Here in your minds!} 
This would be LIFE CHANING.
Truly.
Like….. this would be on par with me sleeping on a sidewalk for a week for concert tickets if *NSYNC ever has a reunion. 

Before we get to Mariah’s NYE …..
:: Don Lemon’s Tequila filled NYE :: 

The CNN anchor Don Lemon was getting absolutely wasted throughout their countdown to midnight.  He was in New Orleans and proceeded to get so drunk that they finally cut his microphone.  It’s worth watching these couple of clips. 


:: Mariah’s NYE :: 

for example…… 

Oh wait.
I misspoke.
It was NOT her birthday.  It was her “anniversary”.
The week before I kept saying “anniversary of what anniversary of what?” and then I realized this week that she doesn’t celebrate birthdays, only anniversaries.
So this was her 12th Anniversary.
Because that makes sense. 

And we all know he is going to propose to whomever is the last girl standing, because he is (as far as I, a Bachelor-coneisseur, knows) finally and completely out of options.  He has literally done it all.  ALL.  Slow clap for the sadness that is Nick Viall defying the odds of his 15 minutes of Bachelor fame. 
The first episodes are so annoying because they recap for a full 30 minutes.
And this is in addition to the full HOUR recap they played on Sunday night to get us geared up that, cough, I watched. 


It isn’t a premiere without bringing back some of the losers prior Bachelor’s to discuss what’s to come!
This, though, was for once one of the highlights of the episode.
We have Sean Lowe, Farmer Chris, and Ben Higgins.  Those three are telling  Mr. “I called out Andi for sleeping with me, I slept with Kaitlyn when there were 10 guys left, on camera no less, and I have already slept a contestant and she hasn’t even gotten out of the limo yet” what to expect.
SERIOUSLY? 
Sean, Chris, and Ben. and then Nick. 
It was hilarious.  And Nick’s facial expression of “this is such BS” was hilarious as well, as he pretends he has any sense of decorum or modesty or class. 


NOW.  I could go on and on, much like the damn show, but I’ll get straight to the contestants and try to keep it as brief as I can.
editors note: I never compliment the producers of the show, but for the first time they did a great job with the limo exits/intros.  They REALLY sped it up and went back and forth to the girls talking inside and it was the best they’ve ever done it.  SLOW CLAP. 

She just wouldn’t be able to function without her nanny!  

At first I can’t fault Nick, because it’s difficult not to stare.
I mean, WE ALL are staring. At least I am. 
But then he kinda stares at all of the girls boobs…. 

and just. doesn’t. stop. looking. or. talking. about. the. boobs. dress.

Red dress winner: Dannielle M, Neonatal Nurse. Cap sleeve and little open back. So cute. 

Is there seriously NO SHAME in telling ALL OF AMERICA about it?
sorry not sorry to be a mom-old-lady…. but this stuffs appalls me. 
Girl, you do you. But don’t go on national television grinning like an idiot tell MILLIONS of people about it.  Do you have parents? Grandparents? Common sense? 
but I digress….. 
The eyes and huge mouthed smile give off a “ree-ree-ree” horror movie effect, amiright? 
editors note: how do you spell the ree-ree-ree horror movie sound? because as you know from my resolutions…. I’m trying to proofread and edit 🙂


Now that I think about it…. these two have matching serial-killer-eyes and are
therefor PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. 


“Dolphin” girl, wearing a shark costume, is great.
She really committed and stayed in character all night. 
 I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Who I like so far : 
Vanessa M : 

the girl that speaks 3 languages, is a special ed teacher, and is a total smoke show.  Vanessa, I hope you are dumped swiftly and you can move on to bigger and better things back home.  


Danielle M: 

The neonatal nurse in the killer dress…. who also seems nice and should run and save herself! 


There’s a lot more…. but theres just so many right now so I ‘ll save some opinions for the next 9 hour episode next week.
I try not to watch the “this season” because it ruins all of it….
but settle in, it’s going to be “the most dramatic season” ever I’m sure.

Oh my goodness.
Nashville. It was gone… because it had gotten seriously so horrible.  And now it’s back, but on CMT instead of ABC.
I loved Nashville so much in the beginning.  Loved it.
And then it went so far downhill and really jumped the shark…. several times jumped the shark if you ask me.
WELP.  It is back. 
There is a 2 hour premiere Tonight on CMT.
I will tape it….. and I will watch – LATER, this weekend, whilst bored because we won’t have gone out and I will be waking up early instead of sleeping in like my usual lazy self….. but I am going to make a promise! 
If I don’t like the premiere episode…. if they didn’t get their act together…. I will not watch it.
Let’s see how I do 🙂 
will any of you be watching? did any of you love then un-love the show? 
will someone come slap me across the face if I start watching again? please? 

The premiere of the new Celebrity Apprentice was this week and I liked it.  
I have always watched this show and always enjoy it. 
Plus, Kyle Richards is on it, so throw in a Bravo housewife and you know I’m game. 

and they show up in the RV.  
That part is actually fine to me. 

I don’t know how Brittany and Arianna are still standing, let alone eating steak with bare hands. 
 The amount of straight tequila being consumed is UNREAL. 
I would be face first in the personal-size grill pan if I were her with the steak burning into my face.  
Slow clap for Ariana’s tolerance. 

:: LEA REMINI + SCIENTOLOGY :: 
Lea’s show is still SO ADDICTING and horribly sad and truly unbelievable.  
I’ve cried during it…. which is also horribly sad and truly unbelievable. 
I can’t help it; It’s so, so good and man do I love her. 
Literally her, me, and JLo would be the 3 best friends anyone has ever seen. 
Promise. 


:: SUMMER HOUSE :: 

This premieres next week after Vanderpump Rules and they’ve been teasing it with Stassi being friends with the blonde sisters on the show.
I’m calling it now : they are going to do the same thing they did for the series premiere of Vanderpump rules.
They will make the last scene in Vanderpump Rules flow straight into the premiere of Summer House and we won’t even realize the next/new show had started.
Remember when Scheana was with LVP on RHoBH, because of the affair with Brandi/Eddie, and it flowed from that same restaurant scene straight into Vanderpump Rules  Episode 1?? 
It was truly one of the most genius things ever.  
Just saying…… 


:: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills :: 
We start this week’s episode where we left off…. Dorit still being a pain in the rear.
Erika is right, the incessant discussion of it say smore about Dorit than it does about Erika.
Preach girl, preach. 
Dorit puts on a very short red dress – that she looks amazing in – and says to  her husband PK that she hasn’t worn it since before baby.
 and PK’s first response is about Erika.

see last weeks coffee talk/enough already….. I just can’t with these people. 
seriously. 
It is disgusting the way HE keeps talking about it. 
if I was showing off how great I look post baby and my husband’s first comment was back talking about Erika I would slap him silly. 

Then, Dorit and PK have a dinner party.
And, of course, she only has “the best and most exciting” people to her dinner parties.  With a made-up accent like hers, would you expect anything less? 
The conversation at one point turns to Rinna and Eileen losing parents this year. Is PK seriously suggesting that Rinna’s behavior with LVP had ANYTHING to do with her losing her father?
He’s so gross….. this time on a different level of gross. 
And then they both (PK and Dorit) say the same about Eileens mother?
What???? 

Dorit and Eileen meet for a walk/chat (and Dorit still gets a panty-gate comment in there.
SERIOUSLY I REALLY CAN’T ANYMORE. IT’S NOT EVEN ENTERTAINING FOR REALITY TV ANYMORE DORIT.)  
Eileen brings up that she heard Dorit had said something negative about her mother passing and her not sharing the news at the reunion and Dorit says “I don’t remember.” And continues to act like she has no idea and can’t be bothered to remember everything she says. 
Well …. step around it and lie in that fake-British accent you’ve got, but it certainly isn’t making you sound any smarter or like less of a liar.


We meet Eden Sassoon.  Nothing yet, so no comment for now.


Cut to ….. wait!!!! 
CAMILLE!!??!!!
Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing!!?? 

YEAASSSSSS! 
and at Camille’s house and everything!!! 
I want her back as a full time housewife…. let’s kick off
{doorbell rings}
Dorit.  There she is.  Let’s replace this blonde for the old Blonde. 

And just like that….. Dorit’s back at it again.  
Now she’s moving from panty-gate to insulting Erika Jayne’s singing “hobby”. 
She always has to be talking.  Then Dorit tries to turn it like the women are ganging up at her, not that she keeps stirring the pot, when it is the complete opposite and we get a big fat
TO BE CONTINUED….

I mean…. how is she not scared of Erika Jayne? 
Drop. It. Dor. It. 


Scenes from next week : 
uh oh….. Kim’s back next week! and along with it, Rinna not keeping her big fat mouth shut! Just don’t even talk to her RInna C’MON! 


:: Ladies of London :: 
also, see last weeks enough already for thoughts on Caroline Stanbury who just. will. not. stop. 

Juliet finally is on screen for the first time unrelated to Caroline S, and she can’t even say a sentence (or recite her blog mantra….. wow. real present. ) 

So they are off to celebrate the queen’s birthday with a pub crawl.
Caroline Stanbury is of course entirely late, and when Caroline Fleming asks where she has been she snips “I didn’t make plans with you, I made plans with her (Juliette)”
WTF.  Your first words are already aggressive! 
Then as they walk to the next stop, she attacks Caroline F for making her eat fruit a year and a half ago.

WHAT??? 


In a different side of town, the fun group does a separate party to celebrate the Queen’s birthday at a ping pong bar with shots.
Guess which party I would rather be at? 

….. and then there’s a bunch more of Caroline being a HUGE pain the arse. 
She sits there at lunch with Sophie making threatening comments about her family as though Sophie hasn’t been a part of the family for years.
She also makes up the biggest crock of BS for why her kids weren’t at their cousins birthday party. 

SHE IS SO MEAN.  
Her and Katie from Vanderpump need to start a new clique.

:: MAZEL :: 
my-boyfriend-andy-cohen moved to a new clubhouse! 
I was very nervous about this…. but it looks great! 

The same only better! 
take a full look here
And Erika Jayne christened it on Tuesday night with the first live performance. 
(and with a poll being 95% in Erika’s favor over panty-gate, and only 5% for Dorito.) 

EDITORS NOTE : 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  

#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.

in 16 days in fact!!!! 
she got her wedding license this week for her upcoming nuptials to TAHM (to be said in her high pitched the world revolves around me excited voice) in Palm Beach.
are you all as excited for this as I am?
or I guess I should say as excited as LuAnn is? But that’s not possible. 

I hope they film it for the showl


DORINDA:
next up, some startling Dorinda news.
Is Dorinda seriously marrying Dry-Cleaner-Booger-Sugar-Loving-John?

Her COMMENTS are confusing – she says “I’m getting married”, but there is no mention of an engagement?  So hopefully this was just a 4+ martini night and she was talking crazy. 
DON’T DO IT DORINDA. 

You are so much better than him!!! 

She is so delusional and amazing. 
I have yet to see her take more than 3 steps.
She is either laying awkwardly on the chaise lounge or being pushed in a desk chair.

And she always has on, like, a full body unitard? Like the ballet outfits with the really thick dark tights that we used to wear as a child for recitals. 
And why is this Apple TV so important?
What is it that she watches?  What programs are so important? 
Can you imagine people running around freaking out about an Apple TV not working and fearing for their lives (and their family’s St. Patrick’s Day traditions) over you?
And why are all of these rehearsals starting at midnight and going until 6 am? 
And why does she even attend dance rehearsal, she never dances? 
Does everyone then sleep all day until like 4 PM?
Is this what Mariah wants or is this what the dancers/her scary manager Stella demands?

And why can Mariah afford ___(insert anything insane, there are too many options)___ but can’t afford to put her back-up dancers on one bus, and her back-up singer who has kids on another bus?? I am TOTALLY on the diva-dancers side.  That is BS! 
You’re a millionaire, at this point engaged to a billionaire, and homeboys can’t get a freaking bus of their own?  
There are so many more things I want to comment on and have questions about; I need to watch next week’s with paper and pen ready. 

For those of you that haven’t seen it yet,
nothing on this documentary-series is as great as her MTV Cribs episode.
Blurry version, with an intro from Vanessa Minillo Lachey HERE and I fully plan on taking a walk down memory lane and watching it again this weekend! 

I love Rinna commenting on the fancy golf cart and that these people must have some money.  Beverly Hills is always the best because the uber-wealthy are “not” wealthy and are amazed by the uber-uber wealthy.  It’s a whole new level.  
I mean…. a $230,000 car? I guess some people call that “having money”.

editors note : I would never, ever want to drive a car that expensive? I feel like I can’t be the only girl to think that? Such a waste of money but I guess if you have tons you don’t think that way.  I’d rather spend it on a million other things! 


RANDOM PARTY THOUGHT : 
I was listening to a Podcast the other day and I heard that at a ton of these parties they aren’t allowed to have any music playing, because it messes up post production and all of that.  
Can you IMAGINE how horrible some of these parties must be?  I don’t mean necessarily Real Housewives I just mean on any show, but because we’re watching a party and the birthday girl herself is complaining that the party seems boring it popped into my mind.  
But I feel like when they move out to the hookah lounge part of the party there is music…. so what do I know…. 


What do we think of Erica’s T-shirt dress
IT’S A MOSCHINO, DORITO.  SO BACK OFF.
I still think she looks silly, but that’s her style, so I love it. 
She can do no wrong in my eyes , especially when she calls out Dorito for her “you Americans” comment next week …. so good.  

I will be shouting PREACH ERICA JAYNE PREACH next week just like I did for the preview. 


LVP continues to drive me insane, being very petty and not letting things go, and then saying things to Eileen!! 
Plus, this hair-do is just HORRIBLE and I think she is in love with it because she’s been wearing it like that frequently. 

and don’t even get me started on the hair combined with this necklace….. 

Taking notes from Kathryn from Southern Charm, are we Lisa? 

I’m sarcastic and feel like the “British sense of humor” is all fine with me, but with everything LVP has gone through with Eileen from last season, she really crosses boundaries and it isn’t funny.  Why when Eileen says shes going to go find her husband would LVP say ” I saw him in the corner with his head up a girls skirt.”

WHAT? ?! !? UGH ENOUGH LISA ENOUGH. 
I should do a whole post of “Enough Already” just about LVP and all of her petty BS. 


 :: IMPOSTERS ::
Imposters is the new scripted show coming to Bravo in February.

If it’s anything like Odd Mom Out and Girlfriends Guide to Divorce, it’s going to be a great one!  The commercials don’t intrigue me that much yet – but I’m sure I’ll get sucked in. 


:: LEAH REMINI SCIENTOLOGY :: 
I am really loving her A&E special every week. 
It just FASCINATES me. 
And I love her.  And she’s J.Lo’s BFF.
I mean….. I need to get into their Wolfpack and be the three best friends that anyone could have. 
The best so far was first 15 minutes of this weeks episode and it’s just her at home talking so much smack about all of the beliefs, showing all of the books and DVD’s, explaining the bridge to total freedom – and through all of it she’s just being hysterically funny.  Love her. 

Also, I didn’t see Leah and 50 Cent on WWHL until like a week later, but just need to say it was HILARIOUS.
I really die over her and I wish she would be back on TV full time again.  In a dream world, she’d be back on TV full time doing King of Queens with Kevin James and also hosting DWTS.  

:: ALAN THICKE :: 
Alan Thicke’s passing is just so, so horribly sad.  I feel horrible for his family and especially for his young son that was with him.  
And I was just watching him on This Is Us! 
I couldn’t believe when I saw his name on the bottom of the screen in the news at 10 alert. 
Horrible. 


Sorry to end on that note, I just felt he needed to be mentioned. 

discuss amongst ya-selves……… 

I mean. 
Underwear model? 

OK and wait!!! 
 How did I miss this: 
I just saw this photo on Us Weekly, and is this Tom’s hair?
WHAT? THE? HELL? 

He never ceases to amaze me.  

She is insane. 
I mean, from the moment the show begins she is dressed as her “alter ego/mariah’s nemesis” talking in a fake accent.
WHAT?

and then we are introduced to her fiance AND the little dancer boy she has now left the fiance for.  
This is going to be a good one……. 

UGH.  I’m just so not into him? 
But I know so many girls are? I just don’t see it or get it AT ALL. 
Here is a look at the 30 contestants vying for instagram fame + a lifetime of bachelor incestual dating + avoiding a real profession forever a chance to win Nick’s heart. 
// READ ALL ABOUT THE GALS HERE // 

see that post HERE and my excitement about the comment HERE


I loved that Gigi cried about her and her sister walking together. So sweet.

oh, and here are 19 Hilarious Tweets about the VS Fashion Show


:: LADIES OF LONDON :: 
um…. I’m watching VERY late before bed and all I know is 
Marissa just said “prolapsed vagina” and I REFUSE to google what that is because I’m fairly positive I will never birth a child everrrrrr if I find out. 

see the clip HERE


and truly if you are not watching This Is Us 
1.  What is wrong with you? 
2. I am jealous…. I wish I could start it all over again. I watched the first episode a second time when my mother-in-law was visiting and she wanted to see it and I cried like a baby even MORE the entire hour.  

 :: Mazel/Jackhole :: 
or I guess I should just say
:: 1st World/White Girl Problems :: 

I started 2 episodes of the Crown, still haven’t watched the 4 episodes of Gilmore Girls….. THERE’S JUST TOO MUCH.  
Even for me! 
Tuesday night alone had this: 
Below Deck Finale
Ladies of London
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
WWHL 
Lea Remini Scientology
Fixer Upper 
American Housewife


I MEANNNNNNN?!?! THAT’S JUST ONE NIGHT?!?! 
Even professionals like myself can’t handle this kind of stress + excitement.
I’m going to start breaking out into uncontrollable laughter and tears like that weird commercial for a real condition that seems like an SNL commercial for a made up disease.
Ya know what I mean???? 

deep breath……pause and re-group….. LOCK IT UP.