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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

December 1, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves…… 


:: OC Reunion Part III :: 


This feels like it was forever ago, because it aired the Monday before Thanksgiving! 


It was a whole lot of the same.  That darn Kelly and Vicki being horrible for the most part.  The two of them deserve each other. 



There was lots of re-hashing Glamis (drink!) and the accident and the non-visiting-Vicki in the hospital.  Why couldn’t they just bring her a damn casserole Vicki wonders!? Perhaps because even her own daughter Bryanna didn’t believe her mother.  More likely, it’s because you’re a horrible person…. but hey, what do I know? 


Daring Shannon to get hurt and see if she visits her in the hospital is a great move proving just how horrible she is.  But then again, so are most of the things she says and does during all THREE parts of this darn reunion. 





loved this part. 





Tamra and Vicki go back and forth yelling and pointing fingers screaming “I’m sick of your $#*t” and I rewound it twice to re-watch and laughed a little to hard at it. 





and then a lot more happened but opinions from part I and II remain.  Kelly is the worst, Vicki is the worst,  and I’m glad Meghan stood her ground and didn’t let Heather walk all over her.  



in happier news, Meghan King Edmonds had her baby this week! 


She named her Aspen.  




Anyways…… I think we’re all kind of ready for an OC break after that three part reunion.


So bring on BEVERLY HILLS NEXT WEEK! 


Hallelujah! 





:: VANDERPUMP RULES :: 


I’m apologizing in advance for not giving this show as much time as needed.  I feel like I need to do a whole post just on these people and everything wrong with this show.





James continues on his high horse that everyone is just extremely jealous of him.


“When you’re high everyone wants to pull you down.”


I mean.  He’s a bus boy and a DJ at a restaurant and weighs 95 pounds soaking wet. No one can touch him! Haters! 






James is dating a “good girl” that does pageants and helps special needs kids… 


something isn’t adding up…. this chick is lying and is going to be like that girl Tara that won Miss USA and had to admit she had a drug addiction.  No one normal and that helps special needs children would touch James with a ten foot pole. 


ALSO…. something tells me this girl has no future in Miss USA’hood.  But hey, what do I know….. 



…. cut to him crying outside of Sur when Ken and Lisa get mad at him.


and then him crying again. 





The “mean girls” (Stassi/Katie/Snaggle-Turned-Veneered-Kristin) in this episode are taking it even further than I ever thought they could.


No one likes Lala.  Fine.  Whatever.


But to yell at a friend for speaking to a co-worker AT work and tell her she’s not allowed to talk to her?


How can you not speak AT ALL to someone you work with? 


Lala asks Scheana how her weekend was, and she has to say she can’t speak to her.  JUST SAY IT WAS FINE HOW WAS YOURS.


Life is about talking to people you don’t want to talk to! Responding about how your weekend was is just human decency.  These girls are HORRIBLE. 


I can’t even imagine what high school bullies are like if this is what waitresses do to the hostess at the age of 30. 


editors note: the irony that I am comparing  Katie, head bully charge (never saw that coming), to high school girls when she is coloring in a coloring book and picking fights with her boyfriend when he barely says a word is not lost on me.  


This episode and what plays out between these girls is LITERALLY what Mean Girls is all about.  



Also, one other tidbit of advice to Scheana other than to lose the mean girl streak that the mean girls have put into her is to lose the blue contacts in her confessionals.


Horrible.   







Why is Tom making Ariana a Groomsman? 


I’m confused.



There has been lots of chatter about Scheana and Shay and the state of their marriage.


{In this week’s episode she is saying they are happier than the day they got married….. so that sure went downhill fast} 


Yesterday, news broke the Scheana has filed for divorce from Shay. 


there has been some crazy back and forth publicly on social media (accusations of cleaning out bank accounts, etc).


I’m wondering if it’s those Hydroxycut chews she’s been pushing that started all this…..


Didn’t anyone tell her those diet pills make you crazy? 


Lay off those gummies girl…. and the blue contacts. 








:: DWTS :: 


I was so excited for this season finale because I loved all of the finalists.  The top 4 actually.  Which never happens.





I was really, really happy for Val and Laurie, but I did really love the Racecar driver and Sharna, so I felt bad that they didn’t win.


New news : Derek Hough is not returning next season! (sorry mom). 


He is going to be joining J.Lo’s new dance show….. which you know I will watch because I LOVE ME SOME J.LO.




:: ladies of london :: 


We discussed Tuesday how horrible the promo’s for this season were.


Them singing some weird slow song of “hey girl” from phone booths.  Then the second commercial of them alternating in creepy voices singing “our country tis of thee”/


Come on my-bf-andy-cohen! You’re better than that! 


This first episode is always just an intro usually.  And the drama already has begun.






Caroline Fleming (the Denmark blonde) is just so adorable.  She has that Kate Hudson/I always look young and glowy and fresh look.  


and I feel like she looks like emma from the spice girls back in the day in some shots. 



anyways, she’s adorable and I want her perfectly-OCD-organized closet.






I sense some serious tension a-comin’ for Caroline Stanbury and her friend/now ex-sister-in-law Sophie.
Especially after the giant s-storm went down at the wine/tea party at the end of this first episode.  


Everyone went after Julie all at once.  Especially Juliet, the brunette American, because much like last season she is so desperate to be Caroline S’s BFF.  



(RHofNJ reference: Juliet is definitely a “soldier” for Caroline S) 


Juliet drives me nuts with the stuff like that, but whatever, I still like her.  I think I like all of them? But I’m probably speaking too soon…… 





I really wish there weren’t two Carolines, a Jules/Julie, and a Juliette.


This makes recaps RULL hard. 





:: UGH. SHE’S JUST THE WORST :: 






Brandi Glanville did this and posted it on instagram this week. 


and captioned it something about the reason for the season. 


She is truly despicable. 


And that’s the nicest way I can put it.  






:: BEN AND LAUREN ::


Why am I still watching this crap? Even as background noise?


I think this week was finally the finale.


Thank GAWD.  No need to discuss.


Summary : every episode was fake and awful. 





:: ROAD RULES :: 


A commercial was on for the WWE show on E! Total Divas and I was thinking, that guy looks familiar.  And then later when changing channels it showed him talking….. and I immediately yelled “IT’S THE GUY FROM ROAD RULES”


Look at that!! Someone from Road Rules + years on The Challenge has actually “made it”.


I forgot he was all into the wrestling thing…. 


when I’m googling, nothing is coming up, so tell me if I’m crazy (well, yes, but crazy over this) or if that is him.


Because I usually am never wrong about identifying anyone that has ever been in anything on television ever.  As in, watching a McDonald’s commercial I will scream knowing what they were in before.


 HASHTAG SAD BUT TRUE STORY. 





:: FIXER UPPER ::


IT WAS SO GOOD. I laughed so hard at Chip…. Kip smiles at the TV while we watch it whenever Chip is being crazy and it cracks me up (does anyone else creepily watch their husband when they watch TV shows they like?) Thank God he doesn’t read this blog so that I can talk about him behind his back so frequently…… but anyways, it’s super cute. 





:: MARIAH’S WORLD :: 


start’s Sunday! set your DVR’s! 








:: MAZEL OF THE WEEK :: 





if you read all of Tuesday’s post, God bless you.


Unfortunately Fortunately, I am still on my Barry Gibb kick.



so please enjoy these gif’s, because you know I am.


:: JACKHOLE OF THE WEEK :: 
Ohhhhhh my husband.
I’m singing in Barry Gibb voice “livin it up…. on the barry gibb talk show…. talking bout politics…. talking bout, crazy cool medallions”

and he is looking at me like I’m a crazy person because he has no idea what I’m signing. 
Kind of like he did with the “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas song.”
SERIOUSLY!?!?!
Not knowing what either of those are is unforgivable. 





EDITORS NOTE : 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.








gifs and images via giphy, ABC , E!, Reall Housewives Tmblr, and Bravo 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. Andrea Pepe says: December 1, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    Mike 'The Miz' Mizanin. Yep, that's him.

    • Taylor says: December 1, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      YES! How could I forget that name!? THANK YOU! So weird it didn't come up when googling.

    • Marche' says: December 1, 2016 at 4:41 pm

      I was about to reply the same. He actually started out on Real World back to New York. Don't you remember him and Coral's epic fight? That's when Real World was real good.

    • Taylor says: December 1, 2016 at 6:28 pm

      I feel so old for forgetting these details! Real World did use to be so good!

  2. Alayna says: December 1, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    You are thinking of Mike the "MIZ"…. LMAO. He was originally on the 2nd Real World NYC I think and then did all the "challenges". Yes, he's a big deal on WWE now (my hubs follows on instagram). AND YES! I love ladies of London too.. Cracks me up how the Americans try to use English slang like KNICKERS:)

    • Taylor says: December 1, 2016 at 6:29 pm

      How could I have forgotten the name Mike "The Miz" !! Haha 🙂 I was thinking the same thing when she was saying knickers!

  3. HMC says: December 2, 2016 at 1:28 am

    Oh Miz–I totally remember him talking about wanting to be a wrestler on The Real World New York. So glad I retain important info and dreams do come true.

  4. Robin says: December 5, 2016 at 6:05 am

    Mike from back to NY Real world!
    Also agree the blue contacts are the worst. It's creepy watching her confessionals. And those girls are terrible. I hate myself watching VPR, but then I keep watching.

  5. Blogger says: January 5, 2017 at 10:29 am

    Proto-col Slim-Fizz is a distinctive appetite suppressant that contains the ground breaking fibre Glucomannan, which is a natural dissolvable fibre derived from high quality pure Konjac.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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