discuss amongst ya-selves…. 
 
I’ve already confessed my embarassing love of Dancing with The Stars this season. 

But this is something all of you will love. 

I am doing the creepy thing I do where I smile at the TV/computer 
screen when watching someting I like. Why do I do this? 

Lily Colins and Zac Efron: 
Are these two dating? Because me likey!

she was dating sean on the show,

and acted like a stage five serial killer clinger

then was dating brad womack earlier this year,

and now the mama’s boy michael.  

Jessica Simpson was out and about and looks so pretty ….

{via}

discuss amongst ya-selves….. 


WWHL with Theresa and Joe on Sunday was just ridiculous. 

They answered differently to the same questions.  Joe knew about the IRS looking into them for years and Theresa said she had no idea? 
Joe doesn’t even know what half the charges are. Chuckle Chuckle.
Oh, yeah… it’s just hilarious. You dumbass. 
I’m sorry they deserve whatever is coming to them.  I feel awful for their children, but the two of them are so far gone it’s not even funny.  

 YOU’VE FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY.

{picture me screaming at the television with my arms in the air.}

OK, so I’m a huge Big Bang Theory fan (I swear all of you don’t know what you’re missing) but hearing the news that Kaley Cuoco is engaged is a bit shocking. I love her, but I swear I just read about a break up she had like 2 months ago. 

They’ve been dating since “late summer”.
 Isn’t late summer, like, end of August? 
“I know it seems a little crazy” is the understatement of the month, Kaley. 

Maksim from DWTS and Kate are dating

{side note: I’m enjoying DWTS way too much.}  
Maks scares the crap out of me from seeing the way he is on other seasons…. I would be terrified to be dating him. 

Ummm here are some photos of Bradley Cooper and his girlfriend.

I’m sorry…. how old is she??   Because this just looks wrong. 

Eric and Jessie: Game On on E! is totally filling my “Nick and Jessica: Newlyweds” void. 

I had no earthly clue who either of them were, but so far so good. 

Good looking, talented, not spoiled by big fame yet, and wedding planning – yep ,works for me.
Um…. Kim.  I was hoping we were keeping the horrid outfits to just your pregnancy, but apparently not. 
The crazy botoxed face isn’t really working for me either. 

OK… I saw the baby shower on Keeping Up w The Kardashians…. 
why do they all keep saying Kan-YAY.
Kan-Yay. As if it’s 2 words? 
It’s driving me INSANE.  As if HE COULDN’T GET MORE OBNOXIOUS. 

Adrienne Maloof is dating another child man. 

Who are these people? She always looks like a stripper that’s been invited to a party.

Oh, but sweet skinny arm – you are totally fooling him and everyone else into thinking you are young and not old enough to be his mother.

Speaking of Housewives, did you hear Slade and Gretchen aren’t returning to the show?

They are apparently shopping their own spinoff to focus on Slade’s vasectomy and how he’ll never have kids their wedding. Ugh. 

And, this weeks Jackhole of the Week:

you’ll never guess who it is…….

I seriously can’t believe this kid.

This is Beiber getting carried up the Great Wall of China by bodygaurds.

Beiber needs a swift kick in the ass.  I want to slap the kid.

discuss amongst ya-selves….. 

Tamra’s OC Wedding ended with a yawn. 

I did love bitchy Vicki’s comments though: 

It really surprised me…. I thought she’d be a little more…. mediocre.

She must have had someone else doing all of this.

and EW EDDIE. quit groping Tamra on WWHL.  especially while discussing the CHILDREN.  

His hand was practically up her dress. Get a frickin’ room.  gawddddd.

they are so nasty – remember the sex in the bathtub the first season they were together? {throw-up-in-the-mouth}. 

I’m just gonna say it….even though I sound like my mom, I think I’m really into DWTS this season?!

I watched the first episode and I was into it.  

Okay, Matt Nordregen has hit a new low, even for him.

The star douche from Most Eligible Dallas has dated 9 million celebrities while trying to gain recognition and act like he has a personality. 

He dated Vienne from The Bachelorette and Audrina. 

oh, and even Taylor.

Did someone say fame-whore? 

I guess he likes ladies who booze. 

And now, Lilo? for real? 

Maybe he’ll date her mother, DUI Dina Next. 

haha, lilo dating Matt from Dallas Bravo Show

I am shocked to hear the news about Zack Efron in rehab.

Rumors that he is a coke addict?

Whaaaat? 

Good for him for getting help – but I am shocked.

I guess hotties with 12 packs and perfect teeth have problems too.  Who knew?

Speaking of hotties with 12 packs… Clint Eastwood’s has a son that just randomly came out of the woodwork, and holy-good-lord. 

How many children does he have? Why are they just randomly appearing? 

Nene’s wedding show is already 10x better than Tamra’s. 

 I’m loving it.

She is hilarious.  

They keep dancing around what Greg did, and won’t verbalize it, but they are making it pretty damn clear he cheated, am I right? 

UMMMM Blake Lively’s sister is the girl from TEEN WITCH???!!! 

{krissy if you are reading this….}

I think we all know who the bigger star in this family is. 

How am I just now learning this incredible fact?? 

Eat that adrianne.

Paul is going to be on a plastic surgery show, and clearly a TV mega-star.

If this show is anything like dr. 90210, i will be disgustingly glued to the televison while screaming and covering my eyes during the operations.

I love Jimmy + Justin so damn much. 

Happy End of Summer.

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

i’m glad we all agreed about miley’s video/song on Tuesday. 

I feel like I can’t buy the song on iTunes on principle… but damn I hate that I like it! 

Apparently up next is a song with her and Brit Brit. 

d.listed pointed out to me that she looks like a sad furby before she goes all nuts with her damn tongue licking things. 

totally sad furby – good call.

I’m having a difficult time watching Tamra’s OC Wedding. 

Who the hell do you think you are?  Unless Bravo is picking up the ENTIRE check, you need to simmer the hell down.

 Tamra has the worst taste ever, and it seems her planner does too. It’s like the blind leading the blind here. 

I’m not even going to comment on her Vegas flip-out or her Crazy-Ass family…. this is marriage #3 for her and my guess is divorce #3 as well.  She’s insane. 

Gywneth paltrow – I’m always flip-floping with her.  I like her, and then she does crap like this:

and this (McDonald’s bashing)  and this (GOOP article obnoxiousness) .
She does an entire back-to-school post with ridiculously expensive staplers and crap, and then EVERY link doesn’t even go to the item – it just goes to main webpage. WHAT?
 {I know this because it was in the above article…. not because I actually clicked on everything – swear 🙂 }. 
Seriously…. over 100 items or something – and not ONE is an actual link. 
Gwynnie…. you are proving the press right…. 
and once someone talks badly about McDonald’s it’s really hard to get off my shit list…. 

This has been the most epic season of big brother ever.  So good I can’t handle it. 
But now I am entirely bored with everyone left and don’t want any of them to win? How did this happen? 

Once the lunatics and bitchs left, nothing fun was happening.  
I miss psycho Amanda and Elissa’s facial expressions laughing in her face.

{how amazing and unreal was the whole amanda + elissa situation last week? 
I don’t know how she just sat there and laughed in her face but it was incredible}

 The finale is next week: Who are you hoping wins?? 

Remember the hilarity that was summer heights high?

ja’mie is back!

emily blunt is preggo!! 

I love it – love these two together.  So damn cute. 

Holy Lamar Odom : 
Am I the only one that truly never saw this coming?? 
I wonder how long Khloe has seen this coming or what that whole situation really is right now? Or if it’s true that it’s all just cheating and a Kardashian cover up? 

….and since when do rich people do crack cocaine? 
isn’t crack for the poor-drug-folk? 
I’m no drug expert, but Whitney Houston’s incredible reality show Being Bobby Brown taught me a thing or two about crack (may she RIP).

My love andy cohen has apparently found himself a dime piece.
Sean Avery!

 I don’t know why I never realized these two would be hooking up? 


beiber is trying to grow a ‘stash?

just go away already.

kris humphries is auctioning off kim k’s engagement ring.

atta-boy.  milk it for all it’s worth.  

this video is possibly the funniest thing I have watched all week.

so watch it, because I swear you’ll love it. 

discuss amongst ya-selves…… 

Let’s start with THE most important news in the history of the world. 

‘N SYNC is rumored to reunite at the VMA’s this weekend…. 

If this happens, I will go certifiably insane.  I have always said I would camp out on the street for days for tickets to a reunion concert if they ever have one, and this would be the closest thing yet!

 I need to pull out my ‘N SYNC t-shirt I slept in until last year for far too long and put it on for good luck. 

{say your prayers everyone.} 

I’ll be unable to sleep until Sunday I’m sure…. 

Wentworth Miller (from Prison Break) came out as a loud an proud gay actor.

{slow clap for the gays, aw-damn-head-shake for the straight ladies.} 

In more shocking news…. he is 41? 

whaaaat. 

that’s ALMOST as shocking as Revenge boy Nolan being 41.  

The news about Gia from The Bachelor + Bachelor Pad’s suicide is so horrible. But worse, I feel, is all of the sad stories constantly on the internet.  People has  articles titled 

“Gia Allemand’s Boyfriend tells her ‘I don’t love you anymore.”

 Leave her family and him alone.  Publishing articles basically blaming the suicide on him? Awful and disgusting beyond words. I really don’t understand how it is legal or why, but the releasing of the 911 phone calls is also so disturbing to me.  And this week there was another actor that committed suicide.  So, so sad. 

Okay…. now to lighten things up:

THE HOFF.

People are stealing life size cut-outs of David Hasselhoff from convenience stores.

As in, hundreds of cutouts have been stolen, and the store is constantly ordering more. 

Hahaha. I love it.  

Kim Kardashian truly knows how to ruin just about everything.

There’s a funeral + celebration of someone’s life, but by all means make it a circus about you and little Nori.  ughhh she just drives me insane! 

lily collins – put some clothes on girl. 

ohhhhh we all remember this 

and the booby-shake seen round the world 

and this trainwreck of a couple. 

Sooooooooo – The Bachelorette Finale. 

I mean…. 

She was crying hysterically, broken hearted, because the man she said she wanted to marry had dumped her.  I should have known that OF COURSE she would be engaged to someone else within days!

 WHAT THE HELL???? 

I mean, we knew Drew was going out the door (no shock there), but then she just falls crazy in love with “what was always in front of her” and gets engaged?! Please leave comments on this because I really can’t believe this happened.  I always thought it was Chris, and I think they are great and that she does love him probably, but I really can’t believe she went from only seeing her future being engaged to one person, to being dumped, and then getting engaged to another?  Yeah… your mindset was totally stable to be making these decisions. 

Go read betches love this recap, because they say the perfectly inappropriate things I’m too scared to say.  

{believe it or not, this is always me holding back…. scary}. 

enough of my dumb opinion blabber….. onto the main point of the season.  I am so mad I never realized this, because I hate when someone beats me to anything humorous, but one of those dumb tweets on the bottom of the screen during the show said that Chris looks just like the dude from Blues Clues.

Um, YES.  Coffee Talk would have been so much better had I realized this all season.  

lilo hates to disappoint, so she is already out on the town with The Wanted! (who, my boy Andy Cohen has said, is quite the group of man-whores). 

princesses of Long Island ended with a giant yawn.

I feel like nothing is even worth discussing, not even crazy Ashlee’s panic attack or Jeff’s promise ring (promise ring that he is straight?) instead of an engagement ring.  The only thing worthy of discussing: 

I realized one thing that has been staring me in the face all season:  You know the bitchy resting face? Erica has a constant “I smell poop” face. That or an “I’m pooping” face – it varies between the two. I’m sorry, it’s gross, but it’s true. 

 That is totally worse that Bitchy Resting Face. 

Her face looks like this: 

constantly. 

Liam took Miley to his movie premiere last night.

For the love of God Liam! Ahhhhh!! 

RHOOC Finale:

There was drama, fake apologies with Jim crying (ha!!!!!), 

…..Gretchen’s face continuing not to move whilst her lips grow to the size of Cleveland, more Malibu Country talk, and Slade/Ms. Piggy/Tupperware Face crap.  The highlight: Brianna’s husband Ryan is a scary psychopath.  Like, straight up, I feel like he truly is not someone that should ever be around women or children.  The main reason – even Vicki didn’t make a PEEP! Crazy-face, screaming high pitched Vicki doesn’t say a single word about it.  The man was yelling at a 64 year old pot-head for putting her feet up on the couch and then went ape-sh*t.  I try to avoid my favorite curse words on here, but honestly the only way to phrase it is ape-sh*t. 

Here’s a small part from after it, but it’s an episode worth watching to see how crazy he goes at her while it happens.  

I hope he gets ripped a new you-know-what at the reunion, and I’m sure he will.

Ah I can’t wait for the Reunion!!!!! 

Thanks to A Spot of Whimsy, I have been discovering new TV shows.  She messaged me about The Vineyards on ABC Family, which is like a new The Hills but set in Martha’s Vineyard.  It’s definitely scripted like the Hills, and the first 1.5 episodes it’s just so fake, I was like “why am I watching this!?’, yet after that hurdle, I am hooked. 

Lou and Katie need to get together ASAP because I just can’t handle it.

 At the very least, it’s pretty people in a pretty town so why not.  It’s so bad that it’s good somehow? 

And finally, the REALLY big news of the week. If you’ve been reading Coffee Talk for awhile, you remember me sharing how People’s main page announced that a Let’s Make a Deal girl was pregnant. Well, today their homepage shares that she has welcomed a daughter!! Scarlett!! 

Will someone please tell me how the hell this is news? I mean, I consider every piece of dumb crap to be interesting, and this is just boggling my mind.  I apologize for just wasting 2 minutes of your time by sharing it with you. 

I know there’s so many other things to discuss that I am leaving out! 

Don’t forget to enter my Shabby Apple $50 Giveaway! 

The winner will be announced on Monday!