The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, Lifestyle

wishlist wednesday: under $100

May 1, 2013

wallet friendly lusts…..

all pink edition

still can’t believe these are only $35

{asos timeless bow sandal}

{lace open back dress}

{tinley road button down}

{cutout fit and flare}

my sweet accent may be destroyed, but still….

{georgia peach tee}

{pink maxi dress}

{adia kibur necklace}

xoxo

Lifestyle

Suit Up!

April 30, 2013

as barney says……

{thayer ruffle bandeau}

{mara hoffman}

{milly boca eyelet}

{l*space}

{soft joie tunic}

{milly ava drawstring tunic}

{joy cioci pearl cover up}

…dary. legendary.

xoxo

Lifestyle

Monogram Monday

April 29, 2013

hope you all had a great weekend 🙂

I’m skipping straight to Monogram Monday today,

my utter laziness all weekend has led to a very busy start to the week.

My Monday became so much better when a gift arrived from my oldest and best friend.

always pickin’ away. whoops.

She sent these ring dishes to me as an engagement + birthday gift.

I love them so much.

They are from Promise Pottery on Etsy.

They have a ton of styles + options on their website.

xoxo

Lifestyle

birthday randoms

April 26, 2013

it’s a special day

today is channing tatum’s birthday

and it also happens to be my birthday too.

it really isn’t that surprising because we have so much in common.

we both are former strippers,

we both have killer six packs,

and our dance moves can’t be beaten.

The temps are warming up here in Chicago,

and I will be spending the day trying to figure out what to

wear now that I can finally break out the dresses.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to find something similar to this.

showing complete ass cheek is totally in.

(seriously…. what the eff is this?)

Or maybe showing full rear view ass, like Kim

{my friends and I had a debate about kim’s preggo style last night.

obviously I am right, and this is just another point for me.

horrifying. every single time.}

should I don side ass cheek or rear ass cheek?

decisions decisions…..

One last thing.

We need a little more Amanda Bynes to get this weekend started.

Just yesterday, in my Coffee Talk post, I debated if she was actually quite sane because she only wants a man that she can get fat with.

isn’t that all any girl wants?

this article continues the debate of if she is crazy or brilliant.

Reading articles that stimulate your brain cells and require critical thinking is important. We all could benefit from this.

happy weekend.

xoxo

coffee talk, Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

April 25, 2013

discuss amongst ya-selves….

what. would. ryan. lochte. do.

it is the best thing that has happened to Coffee Talk since

Small Mouth (“Courtney”) from Ben’s season of The Bachelor.

{I still think every edition of Coffee Talk has sucked since his season ended because I don’t get to discuss Small Mouth anymore}.

photos via old coffee talk posts (1, 2, 3)

but I digress……

Everyone single word out of his mouth gets worse and worse. He truly is the biggest definition of the word douche.

Am I the dumbest human being in the world?

JEAHHHHHHH.

does he even know that the entire point of the show is to make fun of him?

Here are 11 quotes that I stole from The Philly Post.

if you haven’t watched this show yet, this will convince you to.

1. “These are my shoes that I designed from top to the very sole to the very top to the bottom. Laces.”

2. “I’ve talked in front of … like… a lot of big business people about stuff I didn’t even know.”

3. “One of my favorite movies: What Women Want.”

4. “It’s spelled J-E-A-H. If you say it like how it’s spelled it’s ‘jee-ah.’ But, that’s boring; no one wants to hear that. So you have to really put that emphatis [sic] on that ‘J.’ And then the ‘A-H’ kinda just flows.”

5. “That’s the quickest way to my heart: Laughter.”

6. “One time I really had to go, man, and I was up in the next heat. So I got up on the blocks and I just started peeing in my Speedo. On top of the blocks. And I had my goggles on and started crying because I thought everyone behind me was looking at me and laughing. The starter said ‘Swimmers, take your marks, go.’ I took off. I don’t even know if I did the right stroke. I think that was probably the only time I’ve ever been nervous before a race.”

7. Either Lochte (or the producer who came up with it) should be punched for calling his group of friends the “Lochterage” (rhymes with entourage).

8. “One thing I won’t do: I won’t give up on love.”

9. “The key to the Lochte haircut is being fresh and looking up-to-date.”

10. “Something will pop up in my head. It could be like the weirdest thing. Like all’a sudden like I have like a jumping banana in my head. And I stop and pause. I’m like that damn jumping banana is in my head. Like, I don’t know what’s going on.”

11. “You know what? Ryan Lochte is a pretty good speechmaker.”

Still slowly catching up, but just saw the episode where Rachel Zoe is the representative for a shapewear line….

curve control?
um. that’s ~~a little~~ incredibly ironic.

what dumbass thought an 80 pound woman
and shapewear should go together?

scenes for 50 shades of grey are apparently being shot….

with Magic Mike star Alex Pettyfer as Christian Grey.

I still really don’t understand how this book could possibly be turned into a movie AT. ALL.

it truly just can’t happen.

but get Ryan Gosling in there (or… yeah anyone that looks good shirtless) and I’ll purchase a ticket.

LeAnn and Eddie celebrated their 2nd anniversary, and for the two of them, they did it with minimal press. I was shocked.

Happy Anniversary!! Two years of acting like we did nothing wrong when we are really awful, cheating, lying bastards… and to many more years of pretending we trust each other when in reality we know that we don’t trust one another for sh*t! Cheers!!