The Sarcastic Blonde

{monday.}

April 22, 2013

I had a lovely weekend,

but no photos to show for it.
Sunday was spent on the couch reading bridal magazines
and annoyingly pointing out 970 things
to the man friend, who couldn’t have been less interested.

yes. please.
{via}
I was thoroughly entertained though.
Someone with a much more exciting weekend?

Reese. yikes.

didn’t expect that.

My written board results finally arrived,

and thank Baby Jesus I passed.

Tomorrow I have another national board,
but this one is a clinical exam with a patient.
ya know, trusting my license and
career on a complete stranger
that I pray shows up at 6:15 in the morning.

So tomorrow, when it’s over,
I’ll consume copious amounts of wine on the couch.

Therefor I’ll be MIA until later tomorrow, or possibly Wednesday.
{ya know, depends on the amount of wine obviously.}

xoxo

Lifestyle

lazy saturday lusts….

April 20, 2013

{via}

{era silk mini dress}

{bailey 44 sheer top}

{joie ovia sweater}

{gap calf hair flats}

{parker key dress}

{j.crew cashmere tee}

{needle and thread sunstone dress}

xoxo

Lifestyle

friday randoms

April 19, 2013

random thoughts for the day:

andy cohen has done it again

this looks AMAZING.

if you haven’t seen the Sorority e-mail that has hit the web

go {here} and read it immediately

an excerpt:

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride. For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu.

I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Rebecca, I’ve been having so much fun with my sisters this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself. I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM.

amanda bynes is acting crazy again

it goes black in the middle, but keep watching she comes back on

check out the video.
this is way past when britney went cray-cray. she seems seriously delusional.

if it didn’t SNOW this morning

I would like to be wearing this

{bb dakota crochet dress $98}

and just because it’s so adorable

Kip’s step-mom gave this to me last weekend at brunch

was he not the cutest little boy?

and most importantly,

the news this morning was astounding.
praying the second found soon.

have a great weekend!

xoxo

coffee talk, Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

April 18, 2013

discuss amonst ya-selves…..

I didn’t think I was going to have a Coffee Talk this week, but I just returned home from a standstill commute due to a giant monsoon in Chicago.

2013 has sucked uncontrollably in this city.

Just sayin.

the new chick, Lydia, finally arrived on OC Housewives.

All I could think was, seriously how old is she?

She looks SO YOUNG.

I googled, she is 31.

and apparently also has a jewelry line for dogs.

just what every pup needs!

I think she is going to get eaten alive by the women on this show.

It is a lot of Smiles and Giggles and Hugs

going on in her money-lala-land.

Her family (and her husbands) must be rich as hell, because I don’t think she’s bringing home too much bacon. She couldn’t even give a decent explanation of their magazine – “It’s called Beverly Hills Lifestyle, and the last issue featured a penthouse in New York.”

m’okay?

oh, and that shoot when Brandi complained about her thumb looking fat or something?

her magazine.

alexis goes on and on about how gorgeous vicki’s grandson is.

I’m sorry, I’m sure in a few weeks he will just be damn adorable,

but I can count on one hand the number of adorable/cute/beautiful newborns I have seen.
Everyone is telling lies to everyone.
Unless it is your child/grandchild, every one except you thinks
he or she looks like a tiny alien.

PS. This just in. Apparently Gretchen proposed to Slade??

whaaat?

we shall see…..

I’m full on obsessed with Ready for Love.

the angry girl on the hot tub date was my favorite.

lu-na-tic. incredible.

the bachelor type dates are already pissing me off though.

mud runs! building houses + cutting wood!

watching the girls pretend they love it when they want to die!

I have been slowly catching up on Rachel Zoe.

Watching back to back episodes of that show makes me really question myself and what is wrong me that I can handle watching 2 hours of such crap. I lose brain cells.

Most noted from Rachel Zoe overload: Roger just gets worse and worse with trying to hide the fact that he has no testicles.

nice eyeliner.

some direct quotes:

(and all of these are said in a valley girl-ish tone with a uh, rachel, seriously rachel, i mean, rachel in between. obviously)

“we’re having a little lunchie lunch! duh. duh.” while at lunch with his friend.

explaining attempting to build things: “it was missing a bolt. you know like, a bolt. like, a screwy thing.”

rachel in her commentary about him changing 97 times to leave the house “no one realizes my husband is actually a diva.”

I think EVERYONE realizes a lot about your husband except you.

ENOUGH KIM.

I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

You can show off a pregnant body in a tight dress,

but not tight ALL OVER in every inch possible EVERY single day.

Hit up A Pea in The Pod already!!!

Ke$ha,

who did this to you? It is amazing.

also toning it down: pamela anderson.

well done ladies

Sources are saying the latest Bachelor couple are going to crap.

And his parents don’t want a wedding.

Which is shocking, because they normally all work out so well.

justin beiber instagrammed this photo himself.

how pathetic when you have to post cartoon drawings of yourself with a girl topless in bed?

selena wins another point.

he also refers to himself in the third person instagram with shirtless photos

ugh. so sick of you.

who else is excited a whole week went by

without a single T. Swift news story?

xoxo

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

April 12, 2013

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

vicki vicki vicki.

did anyone catch her on WWHL?

because her left eye is seriously wonky. it was muscle spasming all night.

whyyy is that the press photo you pick?

andy and jenny both looked like they

wanted to kick her out of the clubhouse.

(and jenny’s damn “poo poo in the potty” rap didn’t leave my head for about 36 hours.)

ugh why does jim even need to be shown on camera?

he just gives me everyone the heeby jeebies.

alexis: “all of the businesses, you name it we’ve done it!”

yeah….. that’s not a good thing.

because that means every one of them failed.

you can’t even pronounce a single one of those businesses,

or any word you had to say during your “gig” on Fox 5.

“no one knew we were having any financial problems at all!”

lie.

“Jim has always been so supportive of my career, so now it’s time to be supportive of his.”

um. no.

basically “anything involving Jim”

no.

The trampoline business endeavor is just incredible.

it’ll be about as successful as slade on the radio. ridiculous.

oooo radio slade!!!

is the only material you have ms. piggy? because that is only funny the first time you say it. or, rather when someone else says it.

lori and the new chick coming on…. I can’t even wait.

nate berkus…engaged to rachel zoe’s former man bitch jeremiah? what?

who even knew these two were dating?

quite the cuties. they haven’t listed on any website what jeremiah actually does for a living, so if any of you know, please pass the word along. And if it’s just looking pretty next to nate, by all means jeremiah. well played.

I watched Ready for Love last night on demand (holy crap is 2 hours a long time when you can’t fast forward.) I thought getting booted from the Bachelor in front of millions was bad. Getting booted in front of a live audience (on an elevator? what?) and then also in front of millions watching TV is even worse. Yikes.

I can’t believe it…. but I really like it?

insert eye rolls. shocking.

until they did the total bachelor move and made the girls sing with him.

stop. no one wants to hear that.

and piano girl, what the eff is on your head????.

I need to brag about my friend and her closeness to all things Andy and Bravo.

She is the one that got me the signed copy of Andy’s book and has pics with Lisa and Andy and basically lives the life with a badass job. Last week she was at a Bravo press event, and was up close and personal with everyone. As in, Andy made her drink. She and Jeff Lewis chatted up a storm.
If I didn’t love her, I would hate her. I’m just so damn jealous

photos stolen from FB

these are only a FEW of the occasions. gahhhhhh. Anyways….. clearly I harass her constantly for details. But this video just made my day. Even if you don’t know her, her line is just too good and I can’t stop laughing my ass off over it.

thank you nat, for letting me brag about you constantly and publicly
and live vicariously through you.

lindsey vonn shows her support publicly at The Masters for her no good, lying, cheating, STD-ridden boyfriend.