The Sarcastic Blonde

help a lady out

April 14, 2014

I found an image on Pinterest that I want to use as inspiration for our wedding koozies.

I need to reach out to someone (I’m guessing a graphic designer…. someone that knows how to use photoshop?) to see if they can recreate this for us with our initials and date.

I have reached out to a few blog design ladies, but haven’t had any luck.

via

If any of you know someone that would be able to make this image for us that we can then send to a koozie company to have printed/produced please please please let me know 🙂

and I’m looking for just a graphic designer not one of the companies that charges $300 to design a one of a kind custom monogram…. if possible.

THANK YOU THANK YOU!

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

April 10, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves…….

this was everyone and their mom after work yesterday in Chicago:

the second it’s warm enough for patios and outdoor drinking everyone becomes a straight up alcoholic and sprints for the nearest bar as if cocktails have been off limits for the past 5 months.

its amazing…. so I guess I like Chicago this week.

am I the only one who did not enjoy the finale of How I Met Your Mother???

I’ve watched every episode, love the show so much, then this season comes on and is absolutely awful. And I thought the finale was just as awful. Then I woke up to everyone talking about how they were crying their eyes out…. I feel like I missed something?? Because trust me, I cry A LOT when watching TV, and if other people are crying that means I’m usually bawling, so I’m just trying to check my mental sanity level??

I needed a little more Robin Sparkles and a little less Ted’s Wife that no one gives a crap about even though the show is titled after her and the entire premise is trying to figure out who the hell she is.

Am I right???

This sums up how thrilling ALL THREE parts of the RHOBH reunion were:

seriously (my boyfriend) Andy Cohen??

Southern Charm :

I’m just not buying that this Kathryn chick is 21.

I’m sorry…. that is not what 21 year olds look like.

She talks like a 21 year old though, that’s for sure.

How does she have the time to sleep with all of these people?

trashy Kathryn had an amazingly classy white dress for dinner.

i want it!!! perfect bridal ensemble……

annnnnnd weeks ago, when the show premiered, one of you smart cookies commented that Kathryn WAS pregnant with his baby….. and now I just read it on reality tea too….. soooo I totally think you’re right and if so I really cannot wait for a Southern Charm reunion.

and apparently they have something in common despite the 30 year age gap:

RHONY:

during all of these fights they keep repeating

“no your behavior is unexcusable“

UNEXCUSABLE IS NOT A WORD.

Oh my Lord….

I just can’t…..

nails on a blackboard. such morons.

oh shut up luann. don’t act so appalled by their behavior.

you slept with a johnny depp pirate on the beach vacation while you were mic’d with a camera crew. class my ass.

sonja breaks the tension by announcing she peed her pants but doesn’t have any underwear on

the “sonja’s borrowed house” jab continues to make me giggle.

Heather is secretly from New Jersey and related to Teresa.

I mean….. Good Lord. As long as it’s directed towards Aviva, I’m all for it.

Aviva continues to piss me off to the point of no return.

The crap that comes out of her mouth is unbelievable.

She says that Heather and Carol were

“essentially verbally raping” her.

really Aviva???? really????

what classifies something as “verbally raping’?

And in the previews for next week,

she is saying she “did nothing and just took it up the butt”.

really Aviva???? really????????????????????????

my blood pressure is the through the roof every time she talks.

Mazel of the Week:

Sonja. For just plain everything.

I’ll take that quality of life and a borrowed hamptons mansion anyday!!!

Mazel crazy lady!!!

Right now the best show on Bravo is The People’s Couch.

I’m moving in with these two.

They are so f’ing funny.

I love them. I want to be them.

the 3 grannies are a close second.

My new life goal is to be on People’s Couch…..

and you know I am 100% serious.

Lifestyle, wedding

wedding wednesday

April 9, 2014

I had my Chicago shower on Sunday in the ‘burbs and it was such a wonderful time.

It was one of the first sunny and half-way warm Sundays in months which made it all the better.

I wore a Kate Spade dress that I am obsessed with…..
and an extra bonus for me is that I’ll be able to wear it a million times and just change the accessories.

I am not the most rational shopper with dresses and don’t always buy things with tons of different options for wearing.

I was so excited to finally wear those red heels for something.

walter jacket // kate spade dress (in stores, similar :: similar) // francesca’s necklace // kate spade bow earrings // zara shoes (similar :: adorable SJP similar pair // monogrammed ray bans

some of my ‘maids!

how cute is my friend kiki’s dress??

the tribal/colorful printed dress

I’m obsessed with it.

the shower was a great warm up for the wedding in terms of
a complete and utter anxiety attack with everyone staring at you…..

my upper lip and armpits were sweating the entire time I was opening gifts I swear.

it’s just so awkward. I’m a loud-ass extrovert until you put me in a public situation.

There were so many pictures of me with seriously (~~insert bad word)~~ messed up facial expressions…..

if it was possible, I looked even more akward than I felt.

yeahhhhh…..

I mean….. Good God.

terrifying.

it was so amazing that my sister came in to surprise me 🙂 best surprise ever.

such a wonderful weekend 🙂

Our latest wedding debacle is the getaway-car.

We just had our second car that we’ve booked cancel.

It has become the biggest pain in the neck ever.

inspiration pic

Apparently booking with me is a death wish….. literally.
And apparently all of the owners of antique convertibles are very, very old themselves.
The first car, there was a death in the family and they are scattering ashes the weekend of June 7th. Then we finally found a second car, and last week the owners wife fell and broke her hip so they can’t drive the car to Atlanta anymore.

yikes. I’m afraid to find another car for fear something worse will happen to these poor people!

sooooo we are back to square one with less than two months to go.
I told Kip that at this point, I am hopping on his back and we are just waving goodbye as we run down the driveway of the club to the hotel.

The hotel is seriously right around the corner from our country club so maybeeeeee this is our best bet.

plus it would just be so classy and elegant….they looks so romantic in that gif.

but seriously…. I really don’t want to take the time to find something else to leave in… so I am adding this to the list of possible options because at this point I don’t give a damn 🙂

I purchased one of these adorable address stamps off of etsy.

I wanted something to use for our thank you notes, and we clearly aren’t married yet, but ~~I am tempted~~ I am totally going to to use the stamp for my notes now and just write “soon to be” above it.

Writing “soon to be” still saves me from writing out my entire name and address, right? 🙂

#monogramrulebreaker

I’ve been ordering gifts for my bridesmaids, and while I can’t share what they are, I’ll share some of the things I’ve found that I decided not to do.

Where I need some gift-giving help:

— groomsmen gifts

— mother of the bride/groom/parents/grandparents gifts

Please comment with any ideas — your honeymoon comments helped so much you have no idea (Layci you especially!)

fashion, Lifestyle

lust list

April 8, 2014

lusts for the week……..

hello dream summer bag.

{tory burch cross body}

I need to stop falling in love with white dresses, but I can’t.

{cut25 dress}

my favorite color in a gorgeous silk tank

{cobalt tank}

i’m not cool enough to wear this, but if I was…..

{sara designs watch}

summer uniform: white blouse and jorts

{DVF}

just plain cute and big enough to hold all of my junk.

{milly purse}

so cute…. perfect bridal shower dress that you could really wear a ton.

{line & dot}

i’d wear this to every wedding.

{DVF}

{sabine necklace}

I navy or white, and both are so stinking cute

{equipment blouse}

Lifestyle, weekend recap

happy.

April 7, 2014

I’m sorry for being away for so long!

I promise that I’ll be back this week 🙂

as the title of this post states, I am happy. it’s been another great weekend!

My mom flew in Thursday for the weekend. I saw my wedding dress for the first time since July (well… and the first one that was actually mine and not the sample!) on Friday and had my first fitting.

breakfast before fitting….

and lunch after 🙂

my sister flew in saturday to surprise me!!!

this is amazing in itself, but she came up even though she has sweet 4 month old chandler and so much on her plate!

this was also the day our wedding invitations arrived!

they are so beautiful I can’t wait to share them!

sunday was my bridal shower here in chicago and it was gorgeous.

I’ll post about it and other wedding things on wednesday!

ps. it was sunny on saturday AND sunday.

twilight zone.

pps. I had noooooo idea the song “happy” said CLAP ALONG until I was driving home last night and suddenly heard the words clearly for the first time.

ummmm…. duh.

that makes SO much more than “climb along”

ppps. can’t wait for coffee talk this week.

and dammnnn RHONY is getting gerrddddd.

xoxo

Lifestyle, wedding

wedding wednesday

April 2, 2014

I am already wearing things with my future monogram…..

I got called out by several people this weekend for carrying my married monogram clutch.

I just can’t help it.

I am obsessed with this monogrammed stationary

It takes the monogram to a whole new level – its on the front, its made into a pattern on the back, and even the envelope is adorable.

I had my hair and makeup trial quite some time ago,

but the make-up was just noootttttt so great.

it was bad…. very bad.

I have ~~a unibrow~~ some big ass eyebrows…. they do not need to be filled in. that’s when I knew we had reached the point of no return. It’s always so awkward to stare at yourself in the mirror while the make-up lady watches you and you have to act like its totally not that bad and just needs to be tweaked a bit, but in reality you are thinking WHO THE HELL IS THAT????

I don’t wear much skin make-up in general – BB cream mixed with face lotion – and then my summer bronzer year round to cover up the pale – so the caking on of the foundation just didn’t do it for me (despite how many times I said as light as possible so that it doesn’t look like anything is there). I ended up going to Sephora to have someone try out concealers on me because I wanted to see if I hated all concealer or if it was just the way it was done originally.

She did an amazing job. Phew.

All she put on was a primer, foundation, and some under eye concealer and I was one happy lady. That damn beauty blender is amazing.

I look like a crazy insane person in this picture,

I assure you it was below zero outside and I needed to be dressed like this.

but who the hell cares because damnnn my skin looked good.
I want to put the sephora lady in my pocket and take her home with me!

primer // foundation // concealer // beauty blender

spending money on make-up was sheer torture for me…. only dresses deserve a splurge in my eyes.

I understand that I should wear more make-up than I do at work “for it to look right in pictures”, but I do not care if my face looks normal in pictures, I want it to look normal IN PERSON when people are actual looking at me. I mean…..by that thought, does that mean my face has never looked normal in any photos prior because I didn’t have caked on make-up?

I’ll shut up now.

Enough babbling,

please see 11 gifs of makeup counter dilemmas for the summary.

I ordered this nightshirt in white to get ready in on the big day.

I wasn’t crazy about the only monogram option that they offered, so I’m taking it on my own to a store to get it monogrammed.

{j.crew nightshirt}

The invitations go out this week or next week, and I cannot wait to open the mailbox and see the entire thing with the calligraphy.

I’m going to ~~rip that thing open~~!

No…. let’s be honest…. I’ll carefully open it ever so slowly and be so sad if the rain smeared something as if an envelope actually matters.

crazy bride inner thoughts: but it does matter…..

I can’t decide if these instagram signs would be cute, maybe just framed in the bathrooms on the counter or something…. but I think they are going to need to happen.