The Sarcastic Blonde

Tone It Up Tuesday

April 22, 2014

Does anyone have any batsh*t crazy health habits they’ve tried lately? Because I do!

has anyone done the oil pulling…. I’m scared…. it just sounds so nasty…..

I’ve been starting the day with an apple cider vinegar shot.

This originated from a morning drink from the Tone It Up Nutrition plan

(which I seriously love and think is completely worth it)

I didn’t think the drink tasted all that amazing, but I knew the main point was the apple cider vinegar and then adding in cinnamon or other items that help increase metabolism.

I just take shot of apple cider vinegar now, and sip pineapple juice before and after.

Sure, it doesn’t taste amazing, but neither do real shots and I have had lots of practice with putting ’em back over the years.

me. every morning.

I swear – my stomach is growling at least two hours earlier than it ever did, which I think means it really is increasing my metabolism.

Also, it takes 10 seconds and makes me feel like I just accomplished something before I leave for work.

In addition to the Tone It Up workouts and the random Tracy Anderson clips from youtube,

this week I incorporated new Tracy Anderson workouts and I learned a whole new meaning of the word hate.

I mean seriously. She is horrible, yet she is amazing. In four days I felt like a new person.

I have yet to come even close to finishing this cardio workout, but I feel OK quitting early because I am sweating my ass off and gasping and coughing ~~and cursing at this freak of nature~~ like it’s my job.

at the end of the cardio she says, all positive and not winded at all, “and if this has gotten too easy for you, repeat this routine twice!!!”

seriously bitch????

I almost broke my computer because I slammed her face shut so fast.

I hear ya gwynnie. she is evil.

when I can’t bear the thought of hearing Tracy’s voice without screaming bloody murder

aka every other day

I may do a Tone It Up video because they are so nice and happy and smiley and are on the beach.

then I end the day with a cup of green tea for the same reasons as the apple cider vinegar.

I feel like it works without really doing much…. I watch My Boyfriend Andy Cohen and feel like I’m getting all healthy at the same time.

If I can’t drink alcohol every time he says the word of the night, I might as well drink something.

sooooo I am banking on apple cider vinegar and green tea being the keys to my health 🙂

Lifestyle

weekend randoms

April 21, 2014

hope you all had a great weekend 🙂

I’ll kick today off with some monogram monday goodies.

My friend gave me these monogrammed tervis tumblr’s and I am OBSESSED with them.

also in love with the hydrangea I got as a shower gift.

and as an early birthday present I was given this adorable throw yesterday.

one of my best friends had her bridal shower and it was absolutely gorgeous.

we went to an early birthday dinner at las tablas, and oh my lord it was amazing.

if you haven’t been, I highly suggest it!

It was as amazing as Tango Sur, possibly better!

I wore one of my favorite JMcLaughlin dresses. It is the most comfortable thing I’ve ever worn.

I’m also obsessed with this dress of theirs.

also on heavy rotation lately,

this striped top from j.crew

this bb dakota wrap

Easter was amazing with perfect weather and sunshine.

oh, and I took the below photo down off instagram because people were commenting that I was “ruining things” for people who aren’t caught up on the show…..

um. i watch more tv than anyone, why would I do that?

to them I say:

but anyways,

all I was saying about Scandal was this:

SERIOUSLY look at that phone???

you’ve got to be kidding me. yeah right.

I also watched the Lindsay marathon practically all day yesterday after we got home from our Easter activities….. she was very appropriate for the holiest day of the year.
someone explain something to me:
The whole episode with the Elle Indonesia shoot…..
the editor that was there from Indonesia spoke English as her second language for all of the interviews. Every other word out of her mouth was “like”.
when you learn something as a second language how does this happen? I am so confused. It also was annoying as freaking hell — every other word out of her mouth was “like”.

and I did a delayed coffee talk friday in case you missed it!

xoxo

fashion, Lifestyle

weekend shopping…..

April 19, 2014

this. romper. needs. to. be. mine.

{floral + striped skirt}

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

April 18, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

RHOOC:

tamra is already show us her classy fashions.

stunning backwards black ball cap while working out with creepy teeth eddie.

and what accessory does everyone need while hiking in LA in the summertime?

a fur trimmed sleeveless puffer vest! duh.

that entire sentence is an oxymoron.

I’m excited for this new blonde mentally unstable lady that joined the cast.

the more mentally unstable blondes Bravo has, the better I look.

Although, she doesn’t give her 12 year old a cell phone, so for that I think maybe I like her.

But no…. because then she says she goes to this guy everyday.

“your rib tells me the sadness is gone….”

really??? because it’s telling me she is insane and you are insane AND a perv.

don’t miss gretchen too much….

her and slade can’t stay away from their attempts in the spotlight.

they will be on marriage bootcamp. they are pathetic.

cough :: i’ll totally watch:: cough

Who is excited for the Real Houswives of Atlanta reunion?!?

meeeeeeee .

Kenya is on the new Celebrity Apprentice and apparently she is the most hated contestant ever….. like….. more than Omarosa.

porsche’s been thinking it all along…..

I can’t wait.

I mean….. the rapper that cut his penis off and jumped out the window.

I just can’t.

He’s in stable condition now…. but still no penis.

That’ll teach your kids not to do drugs.

in addition to chris martin, gwyneth’s goop ceo has quit her.

apparently he decided not to move his wife and kids to LA.

on a more important note: HE has a WIFE and KIDS????

I’m sorry what???? I’m pretty sure no one that pretty has a wife and kids.

I smell a breakdown coming…. either juicy details are going to come out, or she’ll get even skinnier and richer and she’ll get some amazing new role and jokes on us.

I really enjoyed this article on Pure Barre from a mens perspective.

It further affirms that I’ll stick to just allowing Tracy Anderson to ruin my life in my own living room, rather than subjecting myself to this in public.

Lilo was on WWHL with my boyfriend Andy Cohen

and reminded me that I have SO much of her OWN show to catch up on.

She confirmed that her sex list is REAL.

but tried to make it a sad story because it was part of her 5 steps in AA.

so it’s like super serious. not whorish at all.

um….. okay?

This was on my reality tv gif site I go to.

just this image, no context at all, and I just can’t stop laughing.

have a great weekend. try not to eat any car seats.

fashion, Lifestyle

wishlist wednesday

April 16, 2014

lusts for the week…….

I can’t even handle how in love I am with this romper.

you know I love me a party in the back.

ummmmmmm yes.

big ass studs. my favorite.

{earrings}

i’m a sucker for a deep v

and flat chests rejoice that we can wear this and look great.

woo hooooo!

{top}

I snagged this scarf at the kate spade sale

stripes galore, and navy and white perfection.

{scarf}

also love these other two kate spade scarves: pink and printed

{necklace}

this whole dang cute ensemble summarizes

how I want to look everyday for summer

{clutch} // {top}

{shoes}

happy shopbop shopping: 25% off with INTHEFAMILY14

things are going FAST. ahhhhhh!

Lifestyle, recipe

crack of the week :: bacon jam

April 15, 2014

kip and I decided that sunday was declared our “cheat” day…. or more-so in our case our “pretend we are prisoners and this is our last meal we will ever have and lets talk about food constantly all day” day.

we’ve eaten salads every night for dinner…

you know how it is……

tell yourself you can’t have something and its all you want…

macaroni and cheese is one of my favorite comfort foods ever.

the second I read on Ship and Dip’s website that the Sassy Pantry Bacon Jam was a great topping and addition to mac and cheese I knew that would be happening on Sunday.

Now that I realized how good it is on its own, I will be spreading it on my turkey sandwiches…. but clearly only on Sundays for the next few wedding countdown weeks.

or at 2 am when I come home after too many drinks and tear apart the fridge.

images via // recipe adapted from this

4 tbs Sassy Pantry Bacon Jam
½ lb elbow macaroni
4 tbs butter
4 tbs flour
1 cup milk
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups shredded Cheddar
1/2 cup breadcrumbs

Preheat oven to 400°F. Cook and drain macaroni according to package directions salting your water before hand. Strain and reserve. In a large saucepan melt butter. Add flour, whisking constantly while then adding milk and cream in gradually. Bring to a boil for 2 minutes while stirring. Reduce to a simmer and add shredded cheddar incrementally until it is melted through. Stir in Sassy Pantry’s Bacon Jam. Remove from heat. Fold the macaroni into the sauce. Transfer the mixture to a buttered baking dish. Coat with the breadcrumbs. Bake 20 minutes until the top is golden brown.

Check out Ship and Dip for even more incredible condiments and recipe ideas!!!!

and for It’s The Little Things readers, they are offering 15% off any subscriptions using the code

ITSTHELITTLETHINGS15

code valid until 4/27

It’s amazing how the slightest tweak to your recipes and ordinary ingredients make it so, so much better.

With our weekly crockpot chicken recipe, we added a couple spoonfuls of the Cape Fear Spicy Pepper Relish and it was the perfect amount of kick to take it up a notch!

k now I’m hungry…. my quinoa bowl for lunch is going to suck compared to this.

damnit.