The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: FRIDAY RANDOMS ::



image


:: Random Thoughts + Link Love :: 

We all are aware of the recent events with Bethenny and her ex-husband Jason Hoppy.  I mentioned it slightly in last weeks Coffee Talk.
I have always thought he seemed amazing, and on season 3 of their show Bethenny pretty much annihilated him, and I just never knew how much of either side to believe.
aka – I feel like he’s a good guy and he’s being made out to be the devil by her.
But…. I have educated myself a bit more this week (you know, podcasts and gossip sites) and now I feel like I am wrong?!
Because everyone else is saying he has been horrible always, and that all of this stuff with what the arrest was over 2 weeks ago is legitimately true, and that it has been like that for awhile.

WHAT?!  Please comment or e-mail me your thoughts because my mind is blown.
Watch him the whole first 2 seasons of the show before their marriage was imploding and he was SO SWEET to her even when she was a lunatic! 

I feel like a fool!

If you are going to be baking for Valentine’s Day,
I may have stopped at their new Cookie Bar at The Cosmopolitan and let me just tell you, it is delicious.  I have a friend that was a pastry chef there and she brought us a bunch of baked goods to Chicago one time and I have been a believer ever since.
But these cakes look adorable and you can layer them and change them up with whatever things you like!
Plus, you bake the cake on a sheet pan which, to me, makes it 10x easier!
………speaking of Valentine’s dessert….but one that is much faster to make and healthier.
I’ll be doing a Saturday post sharing my flourless brownie recipe that is CRACK.
I made it in January and it was insanely delicious, so I am going to bake a batch tonight in an attempt to get better pictures, because we kinda just dug right  into the pan a few weeks ago 🙂




So if any of you are being healthy, you can still indulge on Valentine’s Day without the guilt. 






I just saw a video for Kyle Cooke from Summer House’s business he works with called Birddogs, gym shorts for free balling.




OH.  Nevermind. I am coming back to correct that after going to the website.




It is “Gym Shorts For Free Balling Crotch Crusaders” 


I just can’t….. 


…. yet, I still am oddly in love with him? 


And does this make me love him more? Kind of? 


My favorite pair is Seersucker and named The Flying Wasp.


I mean, yes, I love him more. 



His more legit company is called Fenix.






I always tape the 10 o’clock hour of the today show and will watch it at night after work while I do my Tracy Anderson DVD or cook dinner. 


I love me some Hoda and Kathy Lee 🙂 




Two beauty finds that Bobbi shared this week that I love. 




The Pony Dry Shower Cap 


This lets you wash your roots while keeping your ends dry. 


If this really works, I am game. 


There’s only so much dry shampoo’ing you can do.




And the most genius make-up tool : 


Remember the pens that had different colors and you would just push down whichever one you wanted? 


This is the make-up version with 3 eye liner colors and 1 lip color

// CLARINS 4-IN-1 PEN // 
it has been selling out and being restocked, but if it is, 
google it and there are other places in stock! 






Talk about what would have been the perfect stocking stuffer?! 


Perfect Valentine’s Day gift now I suppose?! 










Friday Links: 




I found the gorgeous pumps I posted Wednesday for 20% off in this beautiful blue color. 




I love the tiny bit of exposed skin with this side tie sweater.




I’ve gotten a couple of questions about my tortoise sunglasses from Las Vegas; they just re-stocked the grey tortoise shell (!!) so hopefully the dark tortoise will be soon too! 


I love this pair and this pair that are also a steal at under $15!  


The most perfect black OTK boots are down from $225 to under $100! 


I’ve been eyeing this dupe of a Chloe bag  all week. 


All of the cute Valentine’s jammies have me set on getting a new (inexpensive) set.  I alternate between three usually two sets of pajamas because I do laundry every other day and it’s time for something new.  I like this short set for something comfy + cute and love this set for a little lace.  I love the look and price of Honeydew Intimates pj’s. 












CHEERS TO THE WEEKEND ! 


My weekend will be a quiet one while I continue my detox from last weekend 


and prepare to re-tox with girlfriends next weekend 🙂 


No complaints – I am greatly looking forward to relaxing, organizing and catching up on some sleep! 


Next week, I’ll recap my January Intentions and 31 Day Challenge with working out.




I saw that Tone It Up is having their 7 Day Slimdown kicking off next week so I think I’m going to try to follow that starting Sunday until we head to Scottsdale for our reunion weekend! 



xx




by  
coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: Coffee Talk ::

discuss amongst ya-selves……. 


:: SUMMER HOUSE :: 
I just love this show so much.
Everett and Lindsay are insane.  You’re too old for wasted fighting every single weekend and slapping your boyfriend across the face (well… the slapping is at no age appropriate)
Everett’s facial expressions when he is drunk and pissed off are so extreme that they look like he’s acting or something?  He gets seriously crazy.
although I did appreciate his  “sayo-freakin-nara” break up line.  that was pretty solid. 
Drunk Kyle apologies to anything (chips…. walls… air….) and everyone 700 times despite not being involved in any of it.
See?! I knew I liked Kyle! He says sorry even when it doesn’t apply 🙂 
But truly, Everett and Lindsay are doomed.
They go wine tasting the day after this, because Kyle refuses to let these people ruin his #SundayFunday
but alas, the fights continue. 
Then Lindsay wants to hold a house meeting to keep Christina from coming to the house because only 5 people’s names are on the lease.
editors note: her name doesn’t have an H but I don’t feel like correcting it every time, so it stays. I have enough typo’s in these Coffee Talks to worry about…..amiright!? pah-reach.  
Seriously? A house meeting? Right in front of her? 
Kyle says it is : “Next level mind eff warfare.
When guys have a fight, we just splash some water on each others faces.
She throwing someones career under the bus.”
I’m sorry but the common thread in all of the house issues is Lindsay.  
So my guess is Lindsay is the real problem here. 
Also, I like Christina’s extreme facial expressions better.
Carl continues to climb the ladder of douchery week after week.
Carl: “Lauren is super fun, smart, intellectual.  I don’t know what to do with that.”
Lauren – you are way too good for this loser!!
Then fit model Jacqueline is back and she and Carl are all over each other.
Lauren, RUN.  PUH lease.
In conclusion, a complement to all. 
Slow clap to all of these people being able to Sunday Funday it up like it’s the first day of a week long vacation and then get up at 4 or 5 AM and drive back to the city for work.
I want to be friends with ALL of you based solely on that. 
 
:: BACHELOR :: 
One thing I can commend Nick on in his ability to send girls home left and right.
And that’s about it….. 
I think 6 girls got sent home? And I think we’ve barely heard more than 6 sentences come out of his mouth.
And the sentences we have heard, I can barely understand.
He needs a speech therapist.
ASAP. 
Thank Goodness Corinne is still there though, because even him crying constantly isn’t entertaining enough to keep me interested in this show.  I full blown scroll instagram now and go into the dark hole of Pinterest while the show is on.  Hell, I’ll even have conversations throughout it because I know I’m not missing anything. 
 
The Russian dental hygienist Kristina takes the cake for this season’s sad story.
Earlier we had the drug overdose fiance, which was very sad, from the blonde 30+ year old neonatal nurse with the voice of an infant. {still don’t know how you can be engaged to someone with NO clue they do drugs?} 
Enter Kristina, with a horrible childhood and mom that didn’t want her, orphanage, fleeing Russia without her sister, etc.  It’s so, so sad. 
What I’m really trying to say is…… 
Jubilee from Ben’s season is PISSED.  The no family story was hers first.  
At least she still wins over Kristina with being emotionally damanged and closed off? 
 
The group date is a total bore and also a disaster. 
All of the girls are scattered about the date location crying alone about the lack of time with Nick.
 
They don’t want group dates! 
They don’t want volleyball!
Where’s Corinne when we need her to come in here and explain how dating on The Bachelor works? 
 
Jasmine has played the role of the girl who has never gotten any one on one time thus far this season.  This person usually is so mentally unhinged that when that time does finally come, they go insane.
And just as producers have planned, Jasmine takes the bait and does just that, discussing her desire to choke him over not getting a rose and then making it even more uncomfortable by taking it to a sexual choking level. 
 
I mean….. wow.  
At that point you can’t even blame the producers because you have taken it to a whole new level of crazy that can only come from the inside. 
 
Nick sends both of the girls home on his 2-on-1 date and I still cant figure out why?
And then he goes to the hotel to cry to the girls and walks out in a huge dramatic scene probably waiting for someone/all of them to come running after him. 
 
WHAT UNIVERSE IS THIS?
The Bachelor is having crying fits and waiting for the women to rush after him to console him? 
NO WONDER YOU ARE SINGLE.
Actually…. there are a LOT of reasons besides this….. 
 
:: NICK ON LIVE WITH KELLY :: 
Nick was on Live with Kelly this week with her husband Mark Consuelos as the co-host.
Nick sits there and mumbles says absolutely nothing.
Nothing. Much like he does on The Bachelor. 
 Kelly and Mark are really funny commenting on things and he just…. sits there? And says “thanks” to things that are definitely not complements. 
They rip into him a little bit and say he just needs to stay single, and they both laugh at his “riveting” responses.  I loved it. 
 
I feel like I want Juan Pablo back….. maybe even Farmer Chris??? 
All of these Bachelors just are awful.  But in all seriousness….. 
WHERE IS A NEW GUY THAT IS SUCCESSFUL AND HOT LIKE ANDREW FIRESTONE CIRCA 2003 WHEN WE NEED HIM?!  


:: VANDERPUMP :: 
Tom and Katie spend $18 per invitation and don’t put a line for the guests to write their names on the RSVP card.
So they have no idea who is coming the wedding.
KARMA IS A BITCH TO BITCHES KATIE.  KARMA IS A BITCH. 

Um. Joe Simpson.  Making an appearance.  In this episode.  Was the only thing to get me through.
MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR. 
What do you think Jessica + Ashlee think of this whole thing?
And what are their family gatherings like?
He was so disgusting…. and talking about the gut in and penis out thing? 
WOOF. 



Also…. TOM.  Watching Tom doing this modeling stuff is 10x better than just watching him straighten his hair and apply make-up at their apartment. 
ALSO.  Why was Tom bringing in a 12 pack of Coors to Joe’s house for the shoot?
Did that creep anyone else out??? 
Joe: “I’d love to take modeling photos of you… I think you could be really successful…. just come to my house and we’ll do it here… and bring some alcohol too it’ll be fun.”


I want to see more of Pandora’s home 
(that was gifted to her, fully furnished and completed, for her 30th birthday.  Because that’s normal).
Not necessarily because I love it, but because I felt like there was SO MUCH to look at that I didn’t get a good look at anything.  It seemed like the scale of everything in there was meant for a home as grand as LVP’s with 30 foot ceilings and like it made no sense in her home.  
not saying it wasn’t nice and expensive! 
just couldn’t see past the pastel pink and white faux fur blinding me and I need a second look! 


I have nothing else to say about the episode because once James’ girlfriend Raquel starting talking I had to cover my ears and scream “la-la-la” to get her voice out of my head. 


:: WWHL :: 
After Vanderpump Monday, Scheana was on and 
WOW was her right eye WONKY. 

Was it the eyelashes? It was crazy 

 
:: SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIM ISSUE :: 
My commitment to the SI Swim Issue is on par with never missing the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Can you even believe Christie Brinkley in this bathing suit?? 
I mean, please Dear Lord, let me look like her somehow in the future now.
I’ll take whatever she’s having.  
I think the issue comes out Monday the 13th!! 
 
:: REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS :: 
We start this weeks episode talking about
THE AGENCY. 
We are in fact now doing entire trips around
THE AGENCY.
This is truly blowing my mind.
I love you Mauricio…. but seriously….
Eden meets with LVP and explains to her that everything she is saying about Kim/Kyle came straight from BigLipsMcGee Rinna.
Fair enough.  It did.
And there’s no denying it when every sentence Eden said is followed up by a clip airing with the sentence coming from Rinna first.  But honestly.
Let Rinna say it and get herself involved in a mess that is none of her business and be done.
Stay out of it! Just because you were an addict/your sister was an addict does not mean you can go hurl yourself into their lives. 
And as the rest of the episode reiterates, when the ladies are discussing it in Mexico, it still doesn’t mean you aren’t annoying as hell. 
You may be off the hook for the one Rinna thing, but you are still straight up coo coo. 
I think hearing her on the Podcast for Kate Casey has really upped my UGHHH factor for Eden because she wasn’t bad this week and only defended herself which is fair.  So I felt the need to explain my serious UGHH factor on her 🙂  because the UGH is real. 
It looks like things get nuts the next couple of weeks…. 
and it looks like there is a lot of Kim…. (editors note : UGH.) 
and WOAH what is that one Erika Jayne look!? 
Not the one where she is crying “you don’t know what I go through” and looks a wee bit scary,
 but the one where she has pink hair and looks a bit like a drag queen and a wee bit scary.
I. Can’t. Wait!!! 
:: JOE ROGAN + LEAH REMINI PODCAST :: 
So Leah taped this Podcast a few weeks ago, but I just caught wind of it and listened this week and she is great on it.
Who knew Joe Rogan had a Podcast? 
note to self: I still need to do post on all my fav podcasts! 
:: NEW BRAVO LOGO  :: 


My-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen and his network went and got themselves a whole new look, brand, and logo….. 
I’m not sure if I love the new logo…..I kind of liked the bold colors they had before? 
 But I do like the new way they have the text/font on the lower left side of the screen for their alerts.  For example, it has “WWHL up next with __insert guests name__”  and it blends in so much more and is less distracting than it was before with everyones heads constantly popping up with all the colors? I feel like this whole part made no sense unless you watch as much Bravo as I do….. 
Thoughts? Discuss….. 
 

:: IMPOSTERS :: 

I noticed the new Logo when watching RHOBH and seeing all of the alert’s for Imposters coming up…. 

 

Imposters is the newest scripted series on Bravo, about a female con artist.

So obviously I taped it and watched…. I think I liked it? 
I’ll give it a few episodes.  I certainly enjoyed it more than some of the GGTD episodes I’ve seen lately, so at least it has that! 

 

Did any of you watch? 
but no scripted series will EVER rival Odd Mom Out.  Ever. 
:: JACKHOLE :: 
Is Danielle really coming back to RHONJ? 
I don’t think I can do this….. 
:: JACKHOLE PART II :: 
If I see one more commercial for 50 Shades of Grey I am going to
lose. ma. damn. mind.
mostly because of the song
“oh oh oh oh oh oh JUST WANNA KEEP CALLING YA NAME”
torturing me every 8 minutes.
It is NEVER ENDING.
They have payed some big bucks because it is immediately on after any show cuts to commercial and I am never fast enough to grab the remote and hit fast forward before “I DON’T WANNA LIVE….. FOREVER” slaps me in my ears all over again.
and I feel like I’ve already seen the entire movie and know exactly what happens.
editors note : sorry. rant complete.  and this was the short version. 

 

EDITORS NOTE : 

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  

#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.

 

 


gifs and images via giphy, ABC , E!, Real Housewives Tmblr, and Bravo 
 


US Weekly, Entertainment Weekly , YahooTV 

by  
fashion, Lifestyle

:: wish list wednesday ::

Valentine’s Day Edition Lusts for the Week……
almost everything under $100!!

LACE POPOVER ROMPER // ORIGAMI TOP  // STRAWBERRY JEANS 
the lace romper has the cutest details, and I live in the side slit tanks weekly. 
 rockstar jeans are my favorite inexpensive denim, and this color is so pretty! 
this top would be perfect for both work and the weekends
the open back sweater is almost identical to my Olivia Palermo sweater, but less than half the price! 
I love the color + sleeve of this blouse.


I am so in love with Tory Burch Miller Sandals and wear mine constantly,
but this striped pattern is my new favorite! 
They have an adorable navy, but I kind of love the red even more! 

kendra scott earrings are always my go-to for nights out, and this blush color is perfect. 
I have been needing to stock up on a new set of hanky panky’s for a while now – love the colors in this set. 
the perfect pump gets an upgrade in the most fun color. 
// LEGGINGS // 
those pink terry lounge pants have my name ALL over them! they come in several colors and look like the comfiest things in the world.  I also love all of the tank + shorts combos too! 




by  
Lifestyle

:: Vegas Vacation ::

ceiling at the bellagio lobby.  I love walking through their lobby and The Wynn! 

I hope you all had a great {superbowl} weekend! 
We were in Las Vegas through Monday,
so now I am preparing to detox for the next few days! 
big time. 
It was such a fun trip – probably my most fun Vegas trip to date!! 
We flew out at 8:30 Friday morning and WOW did everyone on our flight get after it.
Kip and myself not included.
It amazes me how much alcohol people can throw back before 9 AM! 
Our flight ran out of vodka less than 2 hours in! 
In all honesty it was truly impressive and made me feel bad about myself that theres no way I could ever do that for 4.5 hours and then get off the airplane at 10 AM local time ALIVE. 
 The flight attendants made all of these pretzel crowns and sashes and were handing them out with bottles of champagne to people who had 21st and 30th birthdays. 
Gotta love Southwest. 
Kip had to go straight to the office from the airport,
so I went and got us checked in at The Cosmpolitan.
I had never stayed at The Cosmo and I absolutely LOVED it. 
 Our room was super nice and very ….sexy is really the only way to say it? 
I mean….. floor to ceiling mirrors in front of the beds and then a huge window to look into the shower (and so you can look out at the view from the shower….) 
I  was very proud of myself for delaying an immediate cocktail and instead squeezed in a workout at the hotel while I waited for Anne and Alan’s flight to get in.
It was pretty much the last of my healthy choices, but at least I did it.  
Then we met up and headed for some lunch! 
// LACE SLEEVE PEASANT TOP // RAG AND BONE JEANS // TORY SANDALS // 
We headed down to Holstein’s Burger Restaurant on the second floor. 
It was insanely delicious. 
They do these big boozy milkshakes that looked crazy good, but we just did burgers and some vino. 
 Then Alan headed to work, 
so Annie and I wandered around a little bit and went across the street to Planet Hollywood and in search of some shoes.  
Right when we walked into the Casino, what do I see but this: 
THE EARL OF SANDWICH! 
Kip and I love Javier’s so we walked next door The Aria and sat at the bar for some steak fajitas and queso fundido, and some yummy Jalapeno margaritas.  
// zara dress, old // aldo heels // 
After dinner we met up with Anne and Alan after their work event. 
Their room was this huge corner suite with a wrap around balcony on two sides.
It was INCREDIBLE.
I have never seen Vegas from a view like that!  
We went out and painted the town and then hung out at the Chandelier Bar.

The next morning we recovered with breakfast from Eggslut on the balcony. 
 let me tell you….. Eggslut is NO. JOKE.
this breakfast sandwich was heaven. 
 We had some juice to help kick the hangover as well and then headed out to walk around the strip and do some shopping.  
// REBECCA MINKOFF FLUTTER SLEEVE TOP // 
My uber driver to the hotel had told me about a secret pizza place on the 3rd floor of The Cosmo.
It wasnt’ quite as secretive as I had thought – you can find the hallway fairly easily – but the pizza was incredible and a great quick + inexpensive meal or snack (or late night indulgence!) 
Saturday night we headed over to Absinthe at Caesar’s Palace.
Absinthe is truly the greatest show I have ever seen.  
It is insanely inappropriate humor – if you are easily offended, stay far FAR away.
We all laughed so hard that we cried.
On top of all of that, the acrobatics and the stunts/acts that they do are mind blowing.  They are all so talented and their bodies were insane.  I don’t know how they did the things that they were doing.  
I can’t recommend the show enough!!
// BCBG JUMPSUIT, OLD // ZARA COLORBLOCK HEELS // 
love This Black + White similar jumpsuit! 
We went to The Foundation Room after for the night 
AND GUESS WHO OUR BOTTLE SERVICE GIRL WAS. 
So much for being a Doula??? 
She is much shorter in person than I would have thought and my sister is the one that actually recognized her right off the bat. 
She looked a lot prettier in person too. 
So it was a perfect “celeb” sighting for my Coffee-Talk-crazy-self. 
The views from The Foundation Room are amazing!! 
Sunday was game day! 
I recommend China Poblano at The Cosmo for good casual bite too! 
it’s a combination of Mexican and Chinese food and it makes no sense but we liked it.
I wore red + black for the game. 
// FEATHER HEM TANK // WHITE JEANS // 
 We parked up at The Henry bar in The Cosmo while Anne and Alan had a work party at STK. 
The game obviously did not turn out as we had hoped, but we had a good time. 
 We went to Milos for dinner later that night and hung out at The Chandelier Bar before crashing early.
By the 3rd night we all were kind of exhausted!!

Surprisngly I think I packed perfectly for the weekend.
Thank GOD I packed the Tory Burch Sandals last minute because my feet were so swollen and blistered that they were the only things I could wear during the day.
We did over 17,000 steps Friday and Saturday.  Lord.
I added another 2-3 tops than this, but keeping it all in the same color scheme made it very easy. It was actually the lightest my suitcase has ever been.

Off to detox…. barely made it through my spin class this AM : / 
This week is going to be rough, but worth it!


by  
fashion, Lifestyle

:: WEEKEND STEALS AND DEALS ::

a little pre-super bowl shopping…… 
  
// BELL SLEEVE STRIPED BLOUSE  //

Love a blouse with a longer back, 
especially when it has a pretty peplum pleat. 
// PEPLUM BACK TOP //  in several colors


I have been blush and neutral obsessed lately.
This inexpensive duffel has the perfect touch on blush! 
// COLORBLOCK TOTE  //


I love, love the colors and fun print of this jacket! 
// PRINTED TWEED JACKET //


I lived in a grey version of this sleeveless sweater all last winter. 
 Perfect with jeans, skirts, and leather skinnies. 


// WRAP FRONT TOP // in 3 colors



// YELLOW RUFFLE SWEATER  //


you can never have too many super-soft V-neck tee’s! 

these make up sponges are my absolute favorite for the occasions where I need to do “real” makeup instead of my BB Cream mixed with moisturizer.
this set is such a steal AND comes with a cleanser! 

A long sleeve t-shirt, fancified.

by  
Lifestyle

:: Weekend Away ::


image





Cheers to Friday! 





I am off bright and early this morning to Las Vegas with my husband, sister, and brother-in-law. 


We’re tagging along on some work trips and I’m very much looking forward to a fun weekend away for the four of us, 


filled with a show, dinners, and perhaps some gambling 🙂 





I made it through my entire 31 Day Workout Challenge and to be honest, it wasn’t as difficult as I had thought!  


It made me realize it’s not that difficult to not be a complete lazy bum and to just get $#*t done sometimes. 


 I feel I will greatly regret typing that…… 


I will do a more complete post next week, when I’m not feeling like a total hypocrite for ending January on such a high and now going to Vegas where I will definitely be eating and drinking and not making the healthiest choices like I have so far this year.


But, hey, I earned it! 


And I did extra spin classes this week to prepare for some extreme indulging.





And I really am going to work on some healthier choices while there…..


 like not eating Smashburger at 3 am every night when leaving the casino like I did one of my last trips to Vegas.  



BALANCE, amiright? 




get 3+ drinks in me and its’ a 100% guarantee that
if I see a burger or fries in walking distance I will make sure it’s mine. 
don’t try and stop me, just ask my husband.



Although I made good money that trip so maybe the Smashburger was a good luck charm?





alright…. enough with my “intentions”.


Until Monday, they are being demoted as a priority. 



I figure as long as I keep it somewhere closer to Corinne:


and further from Tequila Katie then I’ll be good. 


Packing for Vegas is always one of the most complicated things for me.
No matter what, I feel like I’m never dressed quite the way I should be? 
I’m trying to cover all bases with a couple dresses, a dressier tank with a fringe/feather hem, black leather skinnies, a silk ruffle sleeve top, and my go-to BCBG jumpsuit that I know I’ll be wearing one night. 



I stocked up on magazines for the flight on Texture on my phone,


and I am also bringing The Good Girl so possibly going to start that this weekend! 


I hope you all have an incredible Super Bowl weekend! 



Follow along on Instagram ! 

  


ALSO. 
VERY IMPORTANT.

What is this Dr. Phil episode
 and where do I watch 
because gif’s of this crazy girl are everywhere!?





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