discuss amongst ya-selves……
:: the bachelor : serial killer eyes season ::
Now that Nick is the Bachelor, of course they edit it to where we barely see the serial killer eyes, versus on Andi and Kaitlyn’s season it was every single scene with his face.
sigh.
It was the night of Corinne.
And I think it’s going to be a couple of weeks of Corinne because the “villain” of the season has been declared and we know they always stick around for awhile.
editors note : Corinne is the Dorit (RHoBH) of The Bachelor. Neither of them EVER stop talking.
I actually am loving the “producing” of the shows this season. For the first time they are changing things up and in a good way. I think this group date is the best first group date they have ever had. Wedding Photos!
The wedding photos weren’t a creepy one-on-one at a wedding chapel like they have done in the past, but a fun day of funny wedding attire while the girls get to drinking and hang out. I thought it was good.
Only in The Bachelor World would wedding photos on a first date be an improvement and a good date 🙂
Only in The Bachelor World would wedding photos on a first date be an improvement and a good date 🙂
COUGH: If only I could forget Desiree’s “Right Reasons” rap song group date.
Also, it is understood by the show that this particular Bachelor is a man-slut and will have no problem making out with EVERY single girl in front of all of the other girls…. whereas Bachelors in the past would have some decency and not do that to the other women. But all the contestants already know Nick and his ways so it’s not like they can get upset about it. So again, perfect first date.
these are basically the only words Nick spoke the whole episode.
I am totally Team Dolphin Chick. Ep 1 she stays in a shark costume with heels all night and gets in the pool. Ep 2 she is given the “shotgun wedding” theme and takes her pregnant bride role to a whole new level: pretending to give birth in her dress while the photographer snaps picks.
How did she not win the rose???!!??
Bonus points for her not knowing what a shotgun wedding/bride was.
For others that would be a negative, but I like her, so that gets extra points from me.
OH. I almost forgot. The end of the show, we get the clip of her celebrating the 1 year anniversary of her breast implants with Boob Cupcakes for her and Nick to try.
OH. I almost forgot. The end of the show, we get the clip of her celebrating the 1 year anniversary of her breast implants with Boob Cupcakes for her and Nick to try.
I mean. Call me. I want to be your friend.
The Adam + Eve girl is total #BodGoals.
and she handled having to be the topless bride perfectly. The producers were probably freaking out that she wasn’t upset about it or that the girls weren’t turning on her and talking smack until they realized Corinne was going to self-implode and give enough footage for the whole episode.
As all of the silly wedding set-ups continue, Corinne keeps drinking and getting mad that the other girls are getting attention. (as she reminds everyone later, “didn’t you know you were dating a guy along with 20 other women?”)
She needs the attention BACK on her. To show him how serious she is about running a multi-million-dollar business and not needing a nanny to give her cucumber slices and being serious wife material, she takes her top off and wraps her legs around him and makes out with him in the pool. Not even trying to hide her nips from not only him, but all the girls, and the 20 person crew they accidentally showed at one part.
And the rose goes to…… Corinne!
At least Nick is behaving EXACTLY as I would have expected.
Now we arrive at the night time portion of the date. Corinne uses the time when she isn’t with Nick to educate the girls on what being on the Bachelor is all about. “If you can’t handle being interrupted, you shouldn’t be there” she says. Corinne keeps interrupting conversations over and over again to shove her tongue down Nick’s throat, and finally one girl comes back and interrupts her. Corinne is PISSED. I was dying at the “she re-re-interrupted me.” Not only because of the hypocrisy of it all, but listening to her trying to say “re-re-interruped” and because no, that was the first and only time she was interrupted, so it would just be re-interrupted….. not re-re….
follow that? me too……
Favorite lines of Corinne:
“No one has held my boobs the way Nick held my boobs.”
“My dad would be so proud, even though I was naked, my dad would be proud.”
“She re-re-interrupted me”
Facing all the girls and explaining why she won the rose “I put myself out there. I was just Corinne. XOXO, Gossip Girl.”
The one-on-one date goes to Danielle, who is WAY too nice for Nick and this show and everything about it. I still like her, but sorry, her voice is absolutely awful. I know she can’t help it, but….. I wouldn’t be able to date her based off that alone. It’s not Janice from Friends level, but it’s not good.
The second group date is ready to commence.
Do any of these girls have a style that is not Coachella/Lolla/Crop Top? Because they are all wearing the exact same outfits.
The second group date is at a break up museum and they have to act out breaking up with Nick.
I retract ALL statements about the producers being better this season….. this is more like the last 20 season. This date sucks and is stupid and embarrassing for the women just like they always do to these poor girls on group dates.
I actually felt bad for Liz, the one that slept with him at Jade’s wedding. They had matching serial killer eyes. For that reason alone I feel like she should have made it to week 4 at least. Well…. especially after the creepy “break up speech” and the way Nick avoided eye contact like the plague, I think we all knew it was done.
I think the only person Nick didn’t make out with is 1. Liz, but he slept with her in the past sooooo….. and 2. Taylor, the girl who finished undergrad in 3 years and has her masters degree. YEP. Sounds like Nick!
One last Corinne thing :
I wish I could post all of these, but Buzzfeed did 24 examples of Corinne being the greatest Villain yet and it’s just the PERFECT mash-up of her gifs from Monday night.
One last Corinne thing :
I wish I could post all of these, but Buzzfeed did 24 examples of Corinne being the greatest Villain yet and it’s just the PERFECT mash-up of her gifs from Monday night.
:: Mariah’s World ::
This show is officially just a bunch of nonsense.
It’s just Mariah talking to the camera, and not in confessionals; It’s just her straight up looking at the camera during any and all filming when there is supposed to be a “third wall” or whatever they all it.
And I know why Mariah is into Tanaka, the male back up dancer. Because he is as obsessed with himself as she is with herself. The two of them just stare at the camera and talk to the camera about THE DUMBEST THINGS.
When Stella and her hair stylist are sitting in the garden in Italy wearing matching red leather jackets with all black ensembles talking about who knows what, I started to question my morals and sanity for having this on my screen.
This is almost worse than Lauren + Ben, Happily Ever After?
Almost.
:: vanderpump rules ::
Tom got his straightener autographed by the Nascar driver.
Wow.
It’s not even that he got his straightener signed, it’s that he brought his straightener to an RV and thought in advance, clearly at length, about getting a driver to sign it, and then he is carrying it with him all day at a Nascar race. I can’t.
It’s not even that he got his straightener signed, it’s that he brought his straightener to an RV and thought in advance, clearly at length, about getting a driver to sign it, and then he is carrying it with him all day at a Nascar race. I can’t.
Lala attempts to quit working at Sur, but shocker, she does not.
But you know she’s super upset and mad, because she talks about herself in third person about 12 times telling us about it. Third person talk is serious business.
I laughed really hard at the Montauk Crew and Kyle getting wasted and calling Stassi Steve Jobs because of her turtleneck swimsuit.
Hilarious.
As I knew they would, Bravo did the trickery of combining Vanderpump with the new series Summer House.
I’m not sure what I think about the Summer House cast…..
I definitely think a bunch (all?) of the guys are total New York Douche Bags.
But I definitely think it will be a good show!
Do we think they are really paying for that house for the summer?
I suppose even if they aren’t, they have done the same every other summer and had to have payed for it then.
Lucky!!!! I want to summer in Montauk!!!
Prediction : the couple that has been dating for 2 months and is proclaiming they are ready to be engaged is going to have some SURRIOUS SHEYITE go down this summer.
Because the married twin is correct: You can’t spend every single day with someone and spend the night with them and then go and spend all weekend with them without wanting to kill them at some point. No matter who it is.
I am very confused about the married twin.
I understand that her husband has moved and she will be joining him at the end of the summer….. buuutttt you’re just going to go all summer not spending a single weekend with your husband?
LUCKY! Ohhhh… no, I jest I jest.
Well, sort of…… Depends whats on TV that night that I want to watch without judgement or interruption…… or eat that night for dinner……..
:: ladies of London ::
I want to live in Caroline Fleming’s world,
where Casual Night is a fully sequined turtleneck, the most stunning cream skirt, and silver stilettos.
yes.
{how can I not find an image of this!! Arghhh!! Plus, this restaurant is NOT casual at all. Not in the slightest.}
I wanted to slap Juliet at the dinner. Clearly. I can’t believe anyone would have the audacity to look at someone that just confided about a suicide attempt and say “well isn’t that selfish?” and then add two more similarly asinine comments afterwards.
I want to live in Caroline Fleming’s world,
where Casual Night is a fully sequined turtleneck, the most stunning cream skirt, and silver stilettos.
yes.
{how can I not find an image of this!! Arghhh!! Plus, this restaurant is NOT casual at all. Not in the slightest.}
I wanted to slap Juliet at the dinner. Clearly. I can’t believe anyone would have the audacity to look at someone that just confided about a suicide attempt and say “well isn’t that selfish?” and then add two more similarly asinine comments afterwards.
:: real housewives of beverly hills ::
“when you’ve traveled the world, you can speak in any accent you want” – Dorit’s opener.
I mean….. can you? Is that what traveling the world means? You can pretend you’re British?
I haven’t traveled the world… buuutttt.
Also, PK’s absence in this week’s episode made me realize that PK has seriously been the 7th Housewife this season. FINALLY we get an episode without him. PREACH!
Also, PK’s absence in this week’s episode made me realize that PK has seriously been the 7th Housewife this season. FINALLY we get an episode without him. PREACH!
Once the lunch at Camille’s is wrapped up (because Dorit finally stops talking),
we head to Kyle’s house for Kim’s daughters baby shower.
Kim talks about her sobriety and they show the shoplifting clip in her confessional thing and she says the past is the past! It stays there!
Then Kim walks out in a dress with the SECURITY SENSOR attached to it.
I mean. I can’t. Sorry I’m not sorry, I literally laughed out loud.
I’m sure it’s one of the newfangled ones that you DO take off yourself at home after they take off the store one, but still. It was….. a moment. Slow clap for Bravo.
Kim is just as kooky as ever in her confessionals as the show goes on.
It really drives me nuts that they bring her back for episodes every season… but better her than Brandi.
The new/part-time Housewife Eden Sassoon is a smokeshow.
I’ve always said if I didn’t drink I feel like I would look AH-mazing and she is making me fully believe that.
I mean, yes, she’d look like that anyway because of her killer genes and shes a pilates instructor, but STILL.
Look what not drinking the Ramona Pinot Grigio can do for you !!??
Why do these ladies love a game night so much?
I did laugh when LVP commented on how Dorit not talking just doesn’t work,
hence why charades was impossible for her.
hence why charades was impossible for her.
EILEEN! WHY ARE YOU BRINGING UP PANTY-GATE!
For the first time Dorit isn’t bringing up!
and then you bring it up!? WHATTT??!!??
It quickly goes from panty-gate to Rinna bringing up Kim’s arrest and I JUST CAN’T.
example 639187 why I don’t like when Kim shows up as a Housewife…. it leads to this. Both of them just need to lock it up.
Lock it up RINNA! LOCK IT UP!
:: Jackhole ::
Obvious choice this week.
That lovely rap video from Desiree and Souljaboy.
I apologize that you can’t unsee or hear this.
EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.
#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.
gifs and images via giphy, ABC , E!, Real Housewives Tmblr, and Bravo
US Weekly, Entertainment Weekly
