DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES……

:: OC Reunion Part II ::
I often ask myself, though not with New York – who always deliver 3 hours of fine family fun, WHY we need 3 hours of the reunion.  I am not hating this reunion, because it’s kept me entertained while I lay on the floor and attempt to do prenatal workouts, but I mean…… I really don’t need 3 hours of this.  I could really use a NEW CAST! You hear me, my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen!?!?!?
Do I think Shannons favorite words are me, myself, and I? YES.

Do I think Tamra, like Vicki, just needs someone to yell at at the reunion for attention and camera time? YES.  I think it’s her goal to get a reunion memorable line like “Jesus Juggs” and “That’s my Opinion” every year, but alas, I think you’ve failed.  Your story line revolved around Eddie’s heart (which my heart of ice didn’t need to see week after week) and wearing your Cut Fitness attire while yelling and bitching about Shannon.
Do I think Gina literally looks like Jersey threw up all over her with the purple eyeshadow, purple bedazzled dress, and giant wheave-like hair? HELL TO THE YES.

Now I’m distracted by images of Gina….
Ok……. what else happened? Who cares……
I’m seriously more into New Jersey this year, which is really saying something for me…… 
OH! I do wish there had been a longer conversation about Emily + Shane and how they got married.  I mean…. proposing over gchat and then just marrying him.  My-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen really should have delved deeper into that situation.  WAY DEEPER.  Like, were they engaged before being married and like “dated” at all or did she just go to the courthouse and marry this man and then hop into bed with him when they hadn’t even kissed before or what?
And it makes WAY more sense than he is the only Mormon, no one else in his family, because Perry was not exactly what I pictured for raising a Mormon family.

:: Vanderpump Rules ::
My favorite trashy, awful, despicable, train-wreck cast is back.  The car accident I cannot peel my eyes away from.
They always act like so much has changed, when nothing has.  Mainly : Jax.  He is incapable of becoming anything other than the cheating pathological liar that he is, but it’s been long enough for sweet Brittany to realize that, and clearly she is going to choose fame and the spotlight over a decent man.  Good luck, girl!

Tom and Tom are still pretending to be actual “partners” in Tom Tom, and still doing nothing but talking about trivial ideas like a carrot juice cocktail and keepsake diamond shot glasses scribbled on tissues somewhere in the apartment….. but like, Lisa, it’s a REALLY COOL shot glass….

Jax and James are back “off” again, after momentarily joining forces last season to bond over being complete and utter schmuck’s who get wasted/do drugs/ and cheat. James went too far with his ‘White Kanye” rapping by mentioning when Jax f’ed faith in the elderly woman’s home, and Jax is DONE.  He tells James that he isn’t going to be invited to any of their summer parties, and James is immediately an insecure 13 year old ready to cry.  James is so desperately insecure that this literally is the worst thing anyone could say or do to him.
Stassi has a new boyfriend, and I know from instagram, that sure she seems insanely happy, but he seems like a complete and utter loser who does nothing all day and behaves EXACTLY like these thirty something morons on this show.  So he’ll fit in perfectly, and they’ll probably be engaged next season.

Jax kicks off the season securing a starring story line, ensuring everyone will keep him in the inner circle because they are desperate to be a part of the wedding and wedding festivities, by proposing to Brittany with the ring on a plastic tray, after eating fried shrimp baskets with their fingers, after using the porto potty in the parking lot.
Like…… a perfect example of me becoming an OCD hand hygiene freak over the years is me FREAKING out that they just went from a porto potty to eating food with their hands and licking their damn fingers.
Woof.
I cannot.
But for Kentucky farm girl Brittany, this is probably the equivalent to Sweet Home Alabama’s Tiffany & Co “pick one” proposal, so she is BEYOND excited to christen that ring with a shrimp juice sticky finger.

:: The Bachelor ::
It’s almost that time of year again, when hours upon hours of my life are preoccupied watching The Damn Bachelor.
They just released this new ad and I’ve got to say….. Colton, I should have known you weren’t better than this, but I thought you were better than this.

But I should have known the guy that took Becca home and said it was his first time introducing someone to his family, when there are pictures all over the internet of him and Aly Raisman in CHRISTMAS PAJAMAS with his family is full of crap…….

:: Below Deck ::
This season is SO DAMN GOOD and if you aren’t watching, girl, it’s time to park your ass on the couch and hit up on demand.  It’s ah-mazing.  I don’t like that for the second week in a row we are dragging out the terrifying “man overboard moment” and having to wait until next week AGAIN, but I’ll wait…… it’ll be worth it!

:: Royal Drama ::
What do we think?! I’m dying to know the truth, which we never will, about if rumors are true or partly true or a teensy bit true or completely false regarding Meghan, and particularly Meghan and Kate.
Although I will say….. it’s certainly never been a fact that the two are BFF’s.  Because if they were, that DEFINITELY would have been publicized like no tomorrow.

This article sheds a little commentary on when they had been asked in the past, all 4 of them, on stage if there was any family drama.
But again, who knows, the press will say and do just about anything.
Also, here is an exhaustive timeline of the feud rumors, that I came across when googling for a pic to use!

:: Priyanka Wedding (and Veil) ::
Speaking of Royals, you would have thought Priyanka’s wedding was indeed Royal with that veil! My gawd!!!

I will certainly be picking up People to get the wedding Deets.
I can’t help myself with a wedding.  Ever.

:: Jackhole of the Week : ME ::
If you’ve been reading over the years, you know that I freaking LOVE the Victorias Secret Fashion Show. Like….. LOVE it.  It brings me great joy to watch these tiny gazelles who somehow defy the laws of nature with a waist THAT size and boobs THAT size prance down a runway in hideous costumes that we are supposed to believe has anything to do with the bras and underwear that we mere commoners buy at the VS store at the mall.

Welp…… my pregnancy brain has been in FULL EFFECT and I had no idea it was airing on Sunday.
And I missed it.
THANK GAWD it is now on demand.  Because when I tried to access it on Monday night, it was not, and I panicked!
But I will be watching a little differently this year than last:
The same giant fuzzy robe I never take off, I’m sure……
but this year I ACTUALLY HAVE BOOBS!
So take that, models!
I’m basically looking at myself walking down that runway!
My A cup bras haven’t fit me in weeks…… and yet I still wear them…..
or no bra…… seriously someone send help and get me out of this robe…….

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:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE   #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day, and likely won’t do the next day either.  Or the day after that.

images from : bravo, giphy, us weekly, people, enews