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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

March 24, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves….. 
   
:: DWTS :: 
my current favorite is Nyle, the deaf winner of Americas Next Top Model, and Peta.
I was blown away.  I can’t imagine having that rhythm and dancing that well when you can’t feel the beat or hear a thing.  it was incredible. 
and poor micha…… oh boy… it was not good.  

during DWTS I saw a KITTY LITTER commercial starring 
Katherine Heigl.
I meannnnn….. I know ‘anything goes’ these days…. 
i.e. Lisa Rinna and Brooke Burke in Depends commercials and such…. 
but…. 
:: A-Rod :: 
Hell hath frozen over…..
because A-Rod is dating a smart, rich, silicon valley tech CEO and biologist.
:: katy perry and orlando bloom ::
I meannnnnnn geez y’all.

get a room.  
and also, my apologies for this photo because when I looked at it I realized it was perhaps graphic…..I was like ‘wait a minute… is that what I think…..’ 
which then made me realize I definitely couldn’t erase it and it had to stay. 
you’re welcome. 

:: Stop. Please. Thank you ::
can we just stop with naked selfies in the internet.
please?
even if they are a joke or making fun of other celebs naked selfies.
just put clothes on people.  for real.  
now THAT photo I was too embarrassed to post on here….. so you can just click. 

:: RHOBH :: 
All I cared about finding out this week was what do these women wear in Dubai…..
 especially Erica Jayne…  but Bravo made me wait for it….. 

we start at the global alliance dinner, honoring Yolanda, we get a real treat!
tommy hilfigers daughter Ally Hilfiger
who starred on one of THE BEST TV SHOWS EVER
Rich Girls.
If you are around my age (TWENTY TWO?), please tell me you loved this show. 
if you need a refresher of Ally’s words of wisdom check here
Oh, and Gigi gave a beautiful speech introducing her mother,
but, like, Ally talked, and I was busy having a flashback remembering her gems of wisdom.

then, the worst human in the housewives franchise re-appears…. climbing out of her car in white underwear short-shorts and looking classy as ever. 
and then in her “commentary/diary outfit”, she is dressed like a girl out of Austin Powers’ Goldmember ?
she makes childish, bitchy, un-funny comments during her few minutes on air, and I hope we are done with her because I JUST CAN’T. 
ugh. get off the show brandi.

um, WHAT is this Delta One thing? 
As a layover to Dubai, the women fly to Atlanta.
Then they walk off the plan into Porsche’s waiting to take them across the tarmac to the next plane?
WTF!?

 I’m in the Atlanta airport constantly…. I’ve never even heard of this thing!
and I know I’m not rich enough to partake in said service, but come on! we little people should know about the fancy amazing things like this that we are missing out on!  

OK! So they make it to Dubai! 
This whole time I go back and forth in my thoughts from “no way would I ever travel that far to go to a place where I could be jailed for a gazillion things and required to wear a MuMu at all times” then to “LOOK AT THAT HOTEL! OH MY GOSH! LOOK AT THE ROOM! IT’S MY DREAM TO GO TO DUBAI!!” 

How in the world does Kathryn end up rooming with Erica Jayne??? 
 and why does Kathryn wear a short dress the first night when they are all wearing full body caftans? you drive me nuts Kathryn! 
Erica Jayne he constantly amazes me with her mentality of “oh okay whatever you insult me at home, lie behind my back, throw me under the bus, etc etc….” 
hasthag I love erica jayne.  no way would I be cool with rooming with her after all the BS she pulled over and over again leading up to this. 
but then I see that their hotel rooms are the size of shopping malls and I realize they aren’t sharing a full size bed like my girlfriends and I when we stay at a hotel and can perhaps not even see one another.

THIS HOTEL.  I JUST CANT.
We see Kyle and Lisa’s “room” for 40K a night (WHO IS PAYING FOR ALL THIS?!)
and then it gets better when we see the UNDERWATER ROOM.
the water room is apparently a mere 8K per night
the ladies are like “oh hows your basement Eileen? are you claustrophobic?”


UM. NO. IT’S THREE FREAKING FLOORS.  
WITH A GIANT AQUARIUM WALL.
IT’S HEAVEN! 
read more and see more pics of their rooms on Bravo, or be a creep like me and go to the hotels website and stalk. 
Alright that’s it. Gimme a Burka betches…… I’m moving to Dubai.

EDITORS NOTE : 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.


images: bravo, giphy. gifsoup 



by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. BLovedBoston says: March 24, 2016 at 11:40 am

    I couldn't even believe how he danced…of course I was crying! I was so impressed and he was so much better than almost all the people that actually had their hearing! I remember Rich Girls and so wish some of the "Reality" shows they had when we were teens were still around!! xo, biana –BlovedBoston

  2. Caroline McBride says: March 24, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    rich girls… BEST SHOW EVER EVER EVERRRRRR

  3. Mrs. Garlic says: March 24, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    when you fly delta, they have signs EVERYWHERE advertising delta one. we just flew delta – in atlanta, and the international terminal also has ads for it all over. bravo must have some deal with delta because i think this is not the first time i've seen delta one discussed on a bravo show.

    also, i hate brandy, but i appreciated her commentary because we all know the obvious thing of yolanda's divorce is coming up and it's hard to reconcile it since it's all love you so much etc. her comments about that were appreciated. nothing else, though!

  4. Kate Dorsch says: March 24, 2016 at 6:41 pm

    I read your coffee talk every week and this is literally the best post I have ever read. Rich Girls forever, best show on TV. And your reference to Eileen's basement of a room basically sums up RHOBH. Too good, just too good.

  5. lindsey says: March 25, 2016 at 1:04 am

    I was maybe a freshman in college when rich girls was on mtv. I saw ally on RHOBH and immediately began stalking her and Jaime gleicher. I always wondered why there weren't many more seasons, apparently Jaime went to rehab bc it was all too much for her to handle.
    Apparently all of the episodes are on YouTube.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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