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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

February 20, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves……. 
  
The Bachelor: 
oh my Lord he is just the woooorrrsssstt Bachelor ever.

and a cry baby who makes no sense when he speaks. 

Opera Singer chick.  

She keeps saying her and Juan Pablo are “missing that cerebral connection….”
and that she’s looking for it.
YOU AREN’T GOING TO FIND IT. 

 because he’s a dumb ass
and he certainly doesn’t know what cerebral means 

{nor probably does any girl on that show.} 

he’s not going to go from moron to intelligent in one night.
go home.  you are seriously a weirdo.
ewwwww!! ewie. ewie. ewie. 
{I’m truly sorry…..this is the hardest season ever to find pictures from episodes of the show online, so I have nasty stuff like that to work with} 
and no joke, on my post I didn’t make “because he’s a dumbass “big and bold, but when I publish the post it makes it that way on my screen and probably  yours too. coincidence?!? 

also, why do people keep wearing one pieces this season?

the new bachelor drinking game should be Juan Pablo saying “what dis mean?”
I swear, one of the women girls could say ‘chair’ and he’s like “chaaairr? what dis mean?”
good god. 

clare and nikki get into a cat fight back at the hotel….

both are obnoxious, but in different ways.  clare is a ho just out for a man, but nikki really does seem like an obnoxious bitch who is super into herself. she seems a little bipolar too… just sayin’. 
I need more cat fights. It’s the only thing making me look away from my computer or food or anything else to pay attention to the damn show. 

and what kind of cocktail parties are these??!!
NO ONE IS EVEN DRINKING.
WHAT???
thanks a lot obama
Juan Pablo you ruin everything.

I’ll drink FOR them every time Juan Pablo acts like a hypocrite and a moron


I love this article with the marriage announcement for
Blair Waldorf marries Seth Cohen
{see it here}
I loved me some Seth Cohen. 

KUWTK ….. why do I watch this crap?
They all just suck so much.
All of them acting like WHAT’S THE SURPIRSE GOING TO BE?!?!?! I HAVE NO IDEA?!?!?! for Kim’s proposal.


Ohhhhh I have no idea what it could possibly be that’s SUCH a big deal and everyone is there including the jewelry designer and aunts and blah blah.
But let’s keep cutting to scenes of Scott Disick and his unconscious mother in the hospital who later passes.  Because that’s appropriate!?
What is wrong with these people Kris!?! 
(honestly, so sad about him and both of his parents.  awful).

Part II of Vanderpump was so not what I was wanting.
So we’ll just stick to talking about Part I on Sunday’s Coffee Talk.
I should have just watched part I again.  

Shah’s of Sunset Reunion
I stopped watching half way through the season because it just wasn’t doing it for me, 
but I caught a few moments of the reunion.


The best was the little mini clip between commercials towards the end of the show.  All of them are calling the waiter over and trying so damn hard to get a drink.  They are ordering specifics and gin and whiskey and this and that and Andy keeps having to call the waiter and say no, and they go back and forth.  Loved it.  
I probably just explained that horribly for those of you that didn’t see it. 



Juan Pablo and Bachelor Bitch’s….. take some notes from the Shah’s. 



I’m off to my best friend’s Bachelorette Bash in Charleston…. so I studied the Shah’s and took notes on how to party with the best of them.  
Follow along on instagram to see some antics. 


by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. meagan @ beautiful things says: February 20, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    i knew you'd have a great post about Juan Tragic Paublo this season. IT IS AWFUL!!! I can't even hang with the nonsense.

    have fun this weekend!!

  2. Marche' says: February 20, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Omg I love your recaps! Was it me or was everyone excited about that proposal except for Kim?

  3. Kelsey | Southern in Love says: February 20, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    I love the real life Leighton and Adam, but I cannot get behind that article/announcement because I refuse to believe anything that ends with Chuck and Blair not being together and Henry coming from a broken home.

    Also, have you seen the "Top 10 … " shows on Bravo right now? You could have done a way better job with those. They seemed half-assed.

  4. BLovedBoston says: February 20, 2014 at 3:30 pm

    Have a blast in Charleston!! Bravo has been so disappointing lately…they need new casts or something. And opera singer kisses too intimately knowing that she is being filmed…GROSS!

  5. Playground Prepster says: February 20, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    Have soo much fun in Charleston! Love that city! I'm sure you saw the catfight reenactment on Jimmy Fallon? So funny.

  6. Laura {happily ever} Parker says: February 20, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    Totally stopped DVR'ing the Bachelor. I was so excited at first when they announced it was him and he is such a snoozefest!!

  7. birdie to be says: February 21, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    Juan Pablo really isn't the best. And the girls are the worst!

  8. Pink and Fabulous says: February 22, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    I agree with everything. LOVE IT!

  9. Sundresses and Smiles says: February 22, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    I am not into this season…Juan Pablo is just so boring and there aren't any girls I really am rooting for!

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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