Cheers to Friday!!!!
friday the thirteenth! eee! 
I have a little mini Coffee Talk for you all, since yesterday was dedicated to the Nordstrom Sale!

I’m also going to share some hideous photos of myself trying on clothes, in case certain things sell out.
Why not, we’re all friends here, right?!
These will be coming soon to a blog/instagram near you when my husband decides he will take photos before his daily Saturday and Sunday trip to Lowe’s.  Obviously.

My favorite find at Nordstrom yesterday is NOT part of the sale;  it just caught my eye and I loved it.
This dress is perfect perfect for a summer wedding or occasion.  It runs TTS I’m in a size 2 – the straps are adjustable.  They didn’t have a size 0 but because it’s flowy and elastic you may be able to size down.  With flowy dresses I vary between a 0-2 but anything fitted I’m 2-4.

// ELIZA J DRESS //

My favorite item from the sale was this colorblocked stripe dress.
It is SO damn cute.
It’s a super soft, breathable fabric with lots of stretch to it.
I can’t believe it is under $100! It looks so much like designer dresses I covet.

// COLORBLOCK STRIPE DRESS // 
runs true to size, has stretch so you can size down if wanted!

you can shop all my fav’s under the SHOP tab above, then go to Nordy Sale and scroll over to
CLOTHING // ACCESSORIES // FITNESS // BEAUTY //  HOME
I’ll be updating more in the Home and Men’s section this weekend.

okay, now for a mini
COFFEE TALK
….. discuss amongst ya-selves…….

:: RHONY :: 

We start with the smooth and feminine vocal stylists of The Countess, which is always such angelic music to our ears.

I still can’t get over this Golden Girls Carole look.  This reallllllly is Carole’s Last Summer (do yourself a favor and listen to Bitch Sesh if you don’t know this reference…..)

There’s so much Baby and Adam talk that if this really were tonight’s drinking game I’d be wasted before the first commercial break.  The only thing worse than listening to Carole talk about Adam and that damn dog Baby is listening to her pretend she is “so busy!” and “working” all the time.   She is like Craig taking 2 weeks to make the damn dog pillow with writing a one page article for Cosmo Magazine….. I hate to say it (no I don’t) but I am actually believe Fake Leg Aviva that she had a ghostwriter for her book because My Gawd it’s not that hard to write one page and NO you aren’t busy.  Carole is getting the single ladies together for a round of speed dating.  You know immediately this is going to be good.  Sonja’s “occupation” alone is obviously hilarious…. and 15 miles long.

Jovani is clearly the 17th advertiser for Bravo because they said the name like 27 times as LuAnn and Dorinda pick dresses for this

Lu meets Carole post AA meeting and explains that she is not labeling herself.  I don’t think Lu’s an alcoholic – but she really was a drunk in Palm Beach.  Carole talks about LuAnn as though she was some lunatic drinking out of a brown paper bag.  Pretty sure Dorinda has historically been more of a drunk than Lu?! It’s quite entertaining to hear Lu explain it as “today I’m not drinking, tomorrow I don’t plan on drinking” and she still has an apartment full of booze.  Oh Lu.

Ramona looks better for this workout session than she does going out to meet the girls for nails and a meal.  Perfect hair, make u jewelry . Ramona kills me.  She talks about her fitness and how she looks good in EVERYTHING. She then goes from talking about how great she looks to how great she is at flirting and attracting men.  She seriously kills me.

Carole has to “download” her friend on who all is going to be there tonight.  Oh Carole…. please stop dating men in their twenties, dressing like a 20 something with awful taste, covering your aged hands in hideous gloves, and trying to be so much younger than you are.

Speed dating begins and Ramona is ALL over these men like white on rice.  These producers are so hilariously shady – Tinz is saying “she’s a southern girl and would NEVER do this speed dating thing because she needs to get wined and dined”  – cut to her first date with Scott where she shoves her tongue down his throat in front of Adam and Carole.

I love Tinz and Dorinda’s commentary on Ramona’s speed dating because she literally is ready to pounce.  Pure sex mouth with her tongue, her stance, everything.  Her body is as arched as humanly possibly to get her fake boobs all the way in their face.  She even grabs a guy and kisses him on the lips when he compliments her.
editors note : I love New York more than anything.

Ramona is all over this one guy who apparently only showed up because he thought he might see Bethenny.  Akward.  It still doesn’t stop Ramona from bringing him a drink to interrupt their conversation and attempt her batting eyelashes and tongue across her teeth one more time.

Bethenny during this speed dating is just as great with a complete opposite approach.  When the guy says she is sitting so far away she goes straight into smart ass attitude.

Meanwhile, Sonja takes a different approach – kicking it off by asking if she smells like moth balls and later discussing being tied up with some CREEP who is going into serious detail whispering in her ear.  Barf.

All of this was set up initally for Carole and yet it seems no one is interested in Carole because Ramona was all over her “match” all night but he is actually more interested in Bethenny.  Quite the love triangle for a man wearing a scarf all night.

PS.  Tinz is already back with Scott and they are galavanting about Paris….. when will they decide to be ON or OFF?!

at least the 3 bedroom $30,000 per month hotel room will have 2 occupants occasionally for her to get her moneys worth.

Can we get a whole additional episode just of the speed dating?! This was incredible.  I need to see more.

:: Tom Tom :: 
TomTom opened this week.
I still can’t believe the name of this restaurant is TomTom. So awful.

:: Kandi Koated nights ::

is a HARD NO. HARD PASS. why on EARTH did they think this would be a late night program we watch to watch!?

:: SOUTHERN CHARM :: 

I heard on my boyfriend andy cohen’s WWHL that the things TrAshley did and said during the Hilton Head trip was WAY worse than what we even got to see.  I think they kept a bunch out of it to respect the kids and Kathryn.

I’m going to miss seeing Craig’s nasty house. I’m going to miss Craig changing the conversation from ‘when are you going to practice law’ to ‘I have a newfound love of making pillows.’  I’m going to miss Craig trying to do things with his claw hand, like zip his fly with a coat hanger.

It’s time for Ms. Pat’s Winter Wonderland party, which she keeps exclaiming looks “amazing” and sorry not sorry, ummmmm no? I mean, sure, it looks fine.  But seriously?! It’s just a bunch of cheap white Target trees with fake fur around the base.  What was the budget for this party? Because compared to your home/lifestyle/book/dinner parties/etc this is trash.  Pure garbage. But sure – it looks wonderful.

JD arrives looking like Leonardo DiCaprio with the dead bear in The Revenant over his shoulders and again Bravo continues to prove me wrong when I thought “I couldn’t hate him more.”  Then he comments immediately on his estranged wife and tells the ‘Good Ole Boys he would never let her leave the house wearing that.

Austen tells TrAshley she looks like Cruella de Ville in every sense of the word and it is ah-mazing.
Kathryn points out that Patricia and her table are staring at her and I’m thinking ‘perhaps it’s because you’re chomping your food like a horse with your mouth wide open and flailing your knife through the air’ but ya know, who knows?!

TrAshley is running her mouth to Jennifer Snowden about Kathryn, saying that it’s ridiculous that Kathryn can say she doesn’t think about her or talk about her.  And I quote “She’s so delusional, every night lays her head on her pillow and think about how Ashley Jacobs is winning.”
I MEANNNN.  I can’t with this betch.
And trust me, being with Thomas is certainly NOT winning.
Love the constant third person talk – when the third person talk starts you know the crazy is coming out.

Also. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that my eyes were deceiving me this whole night but the more I see it GIRL don’t wear red lipstick if you are going to put it on all uneven.  The right side of your mouth needs a finger dab ASAP 3 hours ago.

Do we think the rumors are true and she was an escort in Santa Barbra?!
Because I believe it.

TrAshley chases Kathryn out to talk to her and does exactly what she did in HHI – start with half a sentence of an apology and then immediately switch to flipping out and spiraling.  When Kathryn responds she immediately retracts it all and goes on the defense telling her not to deflect and not to forget that her children were taken away from her.
When Kathryn tells her to shut up and let her finishes she starts celebrating that she got her to “act out” and as if she’s going crazy saying “there she is there she is.”  Oh TrAshley.  Kathryn is monotone and medicated, remaining calmer than any else would.  That’s a nice try though.

She then moves straight on to threatening her and continuing to act like she is the sane one.
Thomas does NOTHING – shocker – to help the situation when Kathryn tells him she is threatening and scary.
When Kathryn says don’t come around her and her kids, she smiles ear to ear like only a true lunatic can, says good luck with that and that she is nothing but an egg donor.
This woman is truly past the point of villainous and evil.  She needs legit therapy.

WHY did they shoot the SC Reunion so early!?
I feel like so much has happened since they filmed it a few weeks ago!!!

:: LINK LOVE ::

I may need to ditch my face lotion for “essence”. 

The best flea markets in every state. 

JOMO is apparently the new FOMO.  (I fall into camp FOMO…..)

I thought Chip + Jo’s house was beautiful, but this is even better! 

Why do I like seeing what people eat so much?!? 

You have 2 months to binge these 31 shows before the Emmy’s. (I know you think I watch a lot of TV, but sadly I don’t watch SO many amazing shows…… I remind my husband daily that I need MORE….)

11 Housewarming or hostess gifts 

This chickpea salad looks delicious! Might need to whip up a batch of it this weekend.

All you could ever want to know about collagen.