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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

January 30, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves…… 

we just need to start things off with this GIF of the week.
when T Swift was shocked she actually lost an award.
hahahahahahahah (x infinity).
so now we see what your REAL shocked face looks like.
not this one. 
and stop dancing and singing like a 12 year old in the aisles at every award show. 
it’s greatly appreciated.

the bachelor
These dates are so stupid. Let’s sing with a Korean pop bang (annnnnnd the Korean singers speak 10x better english than Juan Pablo).  Let’s go do Kareoke! We can’t read Korean but…. whatever! 

Kat is just annoying.  Not in a “you’re annoying so therefor fun to watch on TV” kind of way, but just plain a pain in the ass.  Get sent home already. 

Claire Clare (of course that’s how it’s spelled) 
“Korea?? I don’t even have a kimono” 

her lips always pouting and falling into him every time she says something “funny”.
she does every line in the book.  “oh don’t make us eat octopus Juan Pablo hehehe.” then making a big fuss and eating Octopus.
men are so easy it’s nauseating.
Kelly, the girl whose occupation is “dog lover” said it best when she said, “Her piece was like this big…..she’s definitely eaten things bigger than that”
slow clap, dog lover.  slow clap.  each week I like you more and more. 

Highlight of the episode: the damn angry Opera Singer.
“I don’t sing for people for a really…. really…. really long time.  Like. It’s personal.  This is our first real date……I make a point of not singing for men for a long time…. I don’t want someone to be with me just because of my singing.”
my food literally flew out of my mouth.
oh my god.
you are delusional.
ew. 
ewie.
ewie. 

Also gross…..



what is wrong with you ABC??
a live camera all night showing the honeymoon suite?




RHOBH:
Kim just needs to be cut from the cast. 
Her thrilling scenes now include a fan autograph show similar to comicon and just as disturbing.
“you haven’t changed a bit”
“neither have you”
NOT A COMPLEMENT. YOUR TEETH ARE HORRIFYING. 
clearly being a child star doesn’t mean you make enough money for everything.
kyle still wins for this episodes biggest waste of time.  please…. no one gives a crap about your “acting” and your “role” on Days of Our Lives.  

Carlton continues the classy-parade as she has every episode all season with a pool party filled with strippers on poles.
Lovely.
of course there aren’t any good pictures online, so we’ll have to settle for the naked body painting ladies. 
and why is fat burger at every single party they have?  

Carlton’s face when Joyce hugs her was only upstaged by Joyce really admiring and applauding the hard working strippers on their incredible moves on the pole as if they were ending world hunger with every thrust.  
Carlton is pissed when Kyle thinks her star is a Jewish Star of David. 

Hey, Carlton.  

She’s Jewish. It’s not an insult. She’s not making a jab…. she’s just a dumbass.  

We have a new thing to add to our ongoing list of
Things that Bloody F***ing Disgust Carlton: 
Asking if her tattoo is related to Judaism/a faith that the person asking belongs to. 
People doing bad things in dreams, because everyone knows dreams are real. 

Carlton had A DREAM, whilst SLEEPING, that Kyle was talking about her behind her back.  So, therefore, she is FURIOUS.  She says “Who the f*** talks shit about peoples religion” and gets as pissed as she probably was when she got into a fight about someone on the plane.
Apparently a necklace is all it takes to get on her good side, but a dream puts you back on her shit list. 
So, note to self, in Carlton’s religion what someone does in your dreams is 100% the same as reality.

Also, this isn’t necessarily from the last episode, but since I’m behind on my RHOBH coffee talk’ing, Brandi completely has a speech impediment from all of her horrible facial botching/boxing/surgery.
Also, saying her dad walked around naked all the time growing up —-> 
explains. so. much.

I don’t know why I had watched Vanderpump Rules all season, but I have.
and I think I can honestly say I have never seen a group of more horrible people in my life.  They are absolutely awful to one another. 
The STD’s must be seriously bountiful between all of them. 
One episode left…. you know I’ll be watching.

crazy eyes ramona is getting a divorce from mario.

this is shocking to no one.
and I really, really, really can’t wait even more for the new season to premiere. 


Actually…. possible worse people than the Sur waiters:
#richkidsbeverlyhills

they win this weeks Jackhole of the Week.

all of em, but especially these two. 


by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Related Posts

  • :: COFFEE TALK ::
  • :: Coffee Talk 6.7.18 ::
  • :: Coffee Talk : RHOBH ::
  • COFFEE TALK
previous article: wishlist wednesday
next article: splurge versus steal

Comments

  1. Chelsea Woodring says: January 30, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    I can't stop watching Vanderpump Rules. Even though everyone on there deserves a good kick in the rear.

  2. BLovedBoston says: January 30, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    Rich kids of BH is disgusting and horrible but somehow I still manage to catch at least 10 minutes of the show!! Can't stop! This season of RHOBH is stupid and they should just recast the entire show or leave just Lisa and Ken!! I am so excited for RHONY!! Ramona and her crazy eyes and oh my gosh the leg being on the ground and not attached…Can't wait! You hit so many great moments…but honeymoon suite = GROSS!

  3. Linda {Calling it Home} says: January 30, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    So much here, today. First, my BFF lived near the McNichol's. We had plenty of run-ins with Jimmy and Kristy. He was hot back then. Probably should stay off camera now. You have confirmed for me that I am happy I did not watch 'the wedding'. Gross!! No surprise about Mario and Ramona….anyone who renews their vows during a show is clearly headed for a divorce. My daughter and I LOVE the Rich Kids of BH….hooked!! We love how ruined they are from being over indulged in everything all the time.

  4. Just Ask Beth says: January 30, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    ok you totally crack me up!!

  5. Playground Prepster says: January 30, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    Seriously, I don't even watch these shoes but I look forward to the commentary you provide! You are hilarious!

  6. Gracie ( withstyleandalittlegrace ) says: January 30, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    This coffee talk made me laugh out loud! I can't stop watching all of these shows ( especially vanderpump rules) they are such train wrecks and I LOVE IT! 🙂

  7. Molly says: January 31, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Carlton makes me super uncomfortable. Everything about her just grosses me out. I can't stop watching RHONY trailer. Aviva's leg being strewn across the room…this season is going to be great!

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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