The Sarcastic Blonde

Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

August 16, 2012

discuss amongst ya-selves……

you all know what we are starting with this week.

and no way this obnoxious beyotch did this for charity.

How did the man that cuts Jennifer Aniston’s hair create this horrifying monstrosity?

I honestly didn’t think she could possibly get any trashier or any uglier.

Now there is even more attention drawn to her Horse Mouth.

Remember when Brit Brit shaved her head off?
rhetorical question.
Only crazy and unstable people whack their hair on purpose to look like this, but only the certifiably insane think it looks amazing and continue to take pictures of themselves.

hey look!! a bra!!!

the best is then she goes out after posting all these “look at me” photos and acts like she wants to hide and be left alone.

Who on earth likes her, other than her fiancé Liam? And I am still thinking maybe he is just pulling a big one on all of us and is smartly using her for press. Because otherwise, again I ask…..

Liam:

SERIOUSLY WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON??

it has to be something more serious than that legal-pot-crap she smokes to be sleeping with this thing.

ugh. enough…
I’m nauseous just from seeing her face so many damn times this week.

I think we all did cartwheels this week when we found out Jennifer Aniston is engaged?!?

Get it girl. Even though you were dumb enough to sleep to John Mayer, you are still 10x the lady that Angelina Jolie is.
{After all, she makes out with her brother.}

NYC Housewives:
Sonja is not only a lunatic, she is disgusting.

The way she was screaming about her time of the month made me vomit in my mouth. And I don’t know why on earth Heather worked that hard for a damn toaster oven??
The party at the end, where Roman-er flips out all over again when she heard Heather talking; couldn’t agree more with what Heather said: Quit assuming every conversation is about you! And quit screaming like a 5 year old, throwing a fit, and walking away yelling!

oh, and yes Mario: Your wife IS crazy.
And HONESTLY PEOPLE

give it up on Jacques accent

HE IS FREAKIN’ FRENCH. THEY SOUND LIKE THAT.

I am obsessed with the Target back to School commercials.
As in, I replay them over and over on the television and sing the songs constantly. I can’t figure out which teacher I like best?

yes… sadly these are the things that excite me.
Please watch – they are amazing.

As if we all didn’t know he was the worst “pastor” alive before,

Joe has been charged with 2 counts of DUI.
He also should be charged with creepily sexifying his two daughters as a “man of God”…. but thats an entirely different story.

Amanda….Oh Amanda. you know you are hitting rock bottom when you look even worse than you did the night of your DUI

What has happened to you!?!?
I watched that movie with the British guy and your long lost royalty father played by Colin Firth like 95 times?!?
Clearly not long enough to remember the name of it, but I can sing every single song that boyfriend guy sings verbatim.
You were going places after Nickelodeon!
After someone slaps Miley across the face,
they need to do the same to you.
and hard.

Kim Zolciak had her baby

and named him Kash.
Trashy and not shocking at all.

the best McKayla Maroney pic I’ve seen yet:

and finally,
how the hell am I supposed to wait until September 9th to watch my boyfriend Andy Cohen on WWHL??
Why God?? Why would you do this to me??

xoxo

Lifestyle

Wishlist Wednesday

August 15, 2012

lusts for the week……

the perfect military jacket

rachel zoe flats

mara hoffman keyhole dress

sweater dress

electric blue jersey dress

brick cuff

xoxo

Lifestyle

Skinny Side: Zucchini Tots

August 14, 2012

Last week I needed a healthy side dish to make, but didn’t want to have to buy a ton of ingredients at the store or take a ton of time to prepare it. I decided to made Skinny Taste’s recipe for Zucchini Tots and was blown away. All I had to get from the store was a zucchini, and they were ready in no time.

I didn’t have a mini muffin pan, so technically I made Zucchini Muffins, but this recipe alone has convinced me I need a mini-muffin pan to get each bite extra crispy (and feel like you are eating more).

I highly suggest making this for an easy weekday side dish!

{I also suggest maybe doubling the recipe if you are using a regular muffin pan, because we were devastated when all of them were gone}

Zucchini Tots

Ingredients:

1 cup zucchini, grated
1 large egg
1/4 medium onion, diced
1/4 cup reduced fat sharp cheddar cheese, grated
1/4 cup seasoned breadcrumbs
salt and pepper to taste
cooking spray

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400°. Spray a mini muffin tin with cooking spray.

Grate the zucchini into a clean dish towel. Wring all of the excess water out of the zucchini. In a medium bowl, combine all of the ingredients and season with salt and pepper to taste.

Fill each muffin section to the top, pushing down on the filling with your spoon so it’s nice and compacted so they don’t fall apart when you take them out of the tin.

Bake for 16-18 minutes, or until the tops are golden.

Use a plastic knife or rubber spatula around the edges of each tot to remove them from the muffin tin. Enjoy!!

xoxo

Lifestyle

Weekend Snapshots

August 13, 2012

we made our way to my boyfriend’s family cottage
in Michigan last Thursday

and had an amazingly relaxing and fun weekend.

the only hiccup?

you know how all summer it has been hot as hell and not a drop of rain?

Thursday + Friday consisted of almost constant rainfall, and temperatures that I haven’t felt in months.

Good thing all I had really packed were far too many sundresses, bikinis, and shorts for a long weekend 🙂
I pretty much wore the same sweatshirt + pants all weekend.

We still got in pretty sunsets, a full sunny day on the beach, and watched the most amazing meteor shower I have ever seen (or as people like me who do not watch the science channel every night call it – tons of shooting stars).

I also learned that I am not as bad at hitting golf balls as I had imagined, and that I am incredible at Polish Horseshoes (which I prefer to call Polish Balls. rolls off the tongue a bit better).

finally out of the car and a break from the rain

happy hour promptly begins

celebrating my amazing wins at polish balls

post-loss shots

day 2 – more rain… so more baking

waiting out/watching more storms with Trivial Pursuit in the garage

manly man preparing a fire

golf celebratory dance

day 3: SUNSHINE and friends!

acting like 5 year olds

more pretty sunsets

an activity I failed miserably at, but didn’t lose a limb

sunset happy hour

more meteor shower viewing

a sport I did not attempt.

ready for next summer to head back up 🙂

xoxo

Lifestyle

Unplugged

August 9, 2012

via

I am off to a cottage in Michigan for the weekend.

Overlooking the lake.

Beer flowing like water.

Cream-cheese based dip for days.

No cell service/internet/television.

HEAVEN.

{don’t worry…. my DVR back here will be working on overload recording everything for Coffee Talk to resume next week}

Hope you all have a great weekend 🙂

xoxo

Lifestyle

Wishlist Wednesday

August 8, 2012

sorry for the delayed post

I was out with some important ladies last night

aunt susie + nellie

they grew up on the same street as my dad, and went to camp with my mom starting at 5, and are responsible for my parents meeting. needless to say, the stories that come out of their mouths are always priceless.

then I was GLUED to gymnastics screaming like a lunatic for the remainder of the evening.

onto the lusts for the week…..

citrus yellow belt