The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

friday randoms

random things for Friday: 

the most obvious: IT’S FRIDAY!
this dress is the prettiest thing I have ever seen.
a more realistic (and not even close to as cute) 
purchase is this black sweater dress for less than $50

I need this needlepoint in my apartment immediately

Last year it was 75+ degrees for St. Patrick’s Day
and it was truly one of the greatest days ever
It unfortunately is not looking like it will be shockingly hot for March 
flip flop weather in Chicago this year
so these St. Patty’s Day Flats would be more appropriate 


I saw this on the Today show and love it.
Reasonably priced, and perfect way to not take up space.
Behind the Door Jewelry Holder/Mirror


Diamonds and Sapphires are my favorite combo, and I never take off my diamond and sapphire diamond rings.
 This has my name all. over. it.

$19.99 ?? God I love you Target!! 

Have a great weekend!
and as my mom likes to tell me 
when I drunk dial her….
Make smart decisions.

as if I wouldn’t!?

xoxo

by  
Lifestyle

coffee talk

discuss amongst ya-selves…..
  
First of all.
I don’t think I have laughed this hard in a really, really long time.
Tears were coming down my face.
these two are my particular favorites.



p.s. Taylor,
making comments to Tina + Amy involving “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support women” after their joke about you…..  Sweet Lord, you just get more and more obnoxious as the days go on. 
 lighten up.  and keep trying to not make an ass of yourself. 

did you catch the Vanderpump Rules reunion?
yikes.  it was a jax shit show.
I’ve seen enough facial veins to last a lifetime.
but worse than his veins, were his new eyebrows on WWHL.
he looked like musafa when he laughed. seriously.
It was interesting to learn that he was roommates with Channing Tatum at one point!
ps. boring, pouty, what’s her name? oh yeah Katie
looked gorgeous at the reunion.  gorgeous. 
and stassi your fur dress was repulsive. 

Um. RHOBH reunion just taped, 
and clay face Maloof didnt even go to reunion!
You tell her Mrs. David Foster!!! 
Adrienne, guess you’re a little pissed about Bravo kicking you off the show 
(YAYYYYYYYYYYY BRAVO!!!!! GOOD MOVE!!)
She’s too much of an ass to confront any of the Brandi stuff.
Brody is going to be a regular on future Kardashian episodes. 
ughhh i may start watching again.
he’s pretty (yes, a douche, but pretty)
It’s like a Hills trap…. anything involving those people just interests the hell out of me. 
(speaking of… Kristin Cavallari interview with Giuliana on Sunday on E!
I predict Giuliana kissing ass and acting like bff’s with her just like she did with skank-ball LeAnn. gross.) 
Bachelor Reunion:
I mean, ashLEE is insane.
She is one of those “scary girls” that you know just goes nuts if a man doesn’t do what she wants.
she really needs to pick up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You.
stat. 
she also needs to pick up a copy of
“how to get my stick out of my ass”.
but, that may be more difficult for her. 
Although, I must say, her hair looked amazing
and her giant fake breasts look much better
when she has em locked up in a tight dress. 
well played. 
until you talk like a crazy….. 

and the end, when they did a tribute to the producer’s dog?
cried. like. a. baby. 
so sweet. 

Jamie Lynn Spears has come out of the woodwork! 
and engaged!
I totally forgot how adorable she is.  
Is she singing? I feel like her parents have put her on house arrest for the past 5 years in addition to britney. 
Did anyone catch LA Shrinks, Bravo’s new show?

It is ALL KINDS of f’d up.
so, like all other bravo shows, it is amazing. 

It seems like celebs are back to doing what they do best:
flaunting their warm weather vacations while I freeze my ass off. 
Only this time it’s with nonstop bikini pics. 

Not all of which I would like to see:

Teresa and Joe (and Joe’s Belly)?
woof. 
no thank you. 

xoxo
by  
Lifestyle

Fashion by Bravo

Tonight marks the return on The Rachel Zoe Project, It’s a Brad Brad World, and a new show called Dukes of Melrose.
I, for one, cannot wait.  

p.s. if you don’t follow Brad’s other half on twitter, GET ON IT.  
He is freaking hilarious.
but of course he is. he was a writer for Will + Grace
one of THE best shows ever to grace the small screen. 

Anyways…. to mark the occasion – some of Rachel’s pieces.
although… I am definitely team Brad. 
Roger just annoys the shit out of me. 

{dress}  
{gown}  

{cutout dress} on sale!   


xoxo

by  
Lifestyle

Crack of the Week: Beef Empanadas

I wanted to share the recipe 
for the Empanadas we made over the weekend.
They were deleicous and really easy to pull together! 
see how happy she is?!
The recipe called for chicken, but we substituted with beef.
Use whatever kind of meat you like, or go for vegetarian. 
but I don’t think Paula would approve of vegetarian.
Recipe courtesy of my second favorite (don’t worry Ina)
Paula Deen
and I’ll be in Savannah in exactly one month + am already dreaming about what to order at Lady and Sons Restaurant!

Paula Deen’s Chicken Empanadas 

Ingredients
3 cups chopped, cooked chicken
*or beef, or meatless
1 (8-ounce) package shredded Colby and Monterey Jack cheese blend
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 (15-ounce) package refrigerated pie crusts
Water
*we brushed with olive oil at the end to get the crust golden brown

Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Lightly grease a baking sheet. In a large bowl, combine the chicken and next 7 ingredients. Unroll 1 piecrust onto a lightly floured surface. Roll into a 15-inch circle. Cut out rounds, using a 3-inch cookie cutter. Re-roll dough as needed. Repeat procedure with remaining piecrusts, making 12 to 15 circles total. Arrange 1 round on a clean, flat surface. Lightly brush the edges of crust with water. Place 1 heaping teaspoon of chicken mixture in the center of the round. Fold the dough over the filling, pressing the edges with a fork to seal. Repeat with the remaining rounds and chicken mixture. (Up to this point, the recipe can be made ahead and frozen for up to 1 month). Arrange empanadas on the prepared baking sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.
*we had to bake for longer, so keep an eye on them
god my food photography just gets better and better,
don’t you think?
we topped ours with salsa to have a bit of a sauce. 
enjoy! 

xoxo



by  
Lifestyle

Frugal Finds: Fashion Under $100

piperlime always has the best finds for under $100
they never cease to amaze me.
and best of all,
every Tuesday is an additional 20% off
so the prices on these are even lower today.
and today, get free shipping + 20% with SPRINGAIR
  

hell of a lot cheaper than chanel, and just as cute


you know I want everything with an exposed back 

for any occasion – also available in black 


shorten it a bit, 
and it is identical to the designer version that costs hundreds

happy *wallet friendly* shopping.
the nude skirt and flats in particular are calling my name.

xoxo
by  
Lifestyle

Weekend Recap (and Serious Spinning issues)

Hope you all had a great weekend.
After an amazing sushi double date Friday,
the rest of the weekend was spent working and relaxing.
We made homemade empanadas on Saturday night
and they were incredible.
Recipe to Come! 
They were so incredible,
that I made myself sick off of them. 
It was worth it. 
But then I woke up with the “you can erase all of last night in 1 hour!!” mentality and forced myself to go to spinning class early Sunday morning.
I spin occasionally, and I love it, but I am always so sore afterwards.
As in, today I am lifting my legs with my arms to tie my shoes or cross my legs.
Also….. I am not allowing myself to go spinning again until I get padded shorts or something.
WHAT is wrong with those bikes? I know the fancy spin places like FlyWheel give you a cushion, which makes it bearable, but my gym does not.  

5 minutes in and I already knew I was in trouble. 

My thoughts were literally that I wish I had bladder incontinence and had shoved 2 pairs of depends inside my leggings for some cushioning.
See how happy she looks??!!!
I did not look like this. 
Is there some secret that no one is sharing with me?  How is everyone walking around normally after this? Because (TMI, and I don’t care. No man reads this damn thing), I am walking like I imagine a whore in Vegas would.  
Seriously, frozen peas became necessary.

Are the men wearing padded shorts? Because this MUST be worse for them right? 
I found this article in the midst of my agony with my peas last night,
and three options are suggested to avoid this.

If any of you are even still reading, wow, I’m socked, and my apologies.  It’s just that bad. 
Trader Joe’s was the perfect excuse to get out of the house.  Trader Joe’s is like Target.  You go in for one thing, and come out with 97.  I decided I’d release my inner Martha and make some floral arrangements.
Tomorrow on the blog, a guide to arranging flowers!
Kidding. I shouldn’t even be allowed to carry scissors.  
The other 2 are so ugly I can’t even bear to photograph them. 

For today’s Monogram Monday:
Sticking with the “I eat all I want Friday and Saturday, and come Sunday pretend I am the epitome of Health and not a hypocrite at all” theme of today’s post: 
It is getting to the time for me to get a new pair of black sweatpants workout pants, since I live in mine.

These are too cute, and half the price of my Lululemons. 

xoxo
by  

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