The Sarcastic Blonde

weekend recap

May 20, 2013

I hope you all had a great weekend!

mine was great, and the weather couldn’t have been more gorgeous

I finally got to meet my best friend’s boyfriend last week when he was in for work.

She has been my best friend since we were one year old, and they have been together for so long, so this was quite an exciting time.

as you can see below, we loved each other:

the other smiling pictures of us aren’t nearly as good so I’ll leave it with this one.

now they both just need to get up here this summer together!

the other exciting part of the weekend was a friend’s wedding

the weather, the whole day, and the BRIDE were absolutely stunning

the incredible country club

cruising the grounds for photo ops

the most gorgeous wedding dress + bride I think I have ever seen.

the lace top came off later in the night for dancing

I seriously just want to wear this exact thing for my wedding.

I can’t get over it.

super. model.

one of my bff’s and her fiance, who are getting hitched next summer!

a few of the pretty bridesmaids – they all got to pick their own nude dresses and it looked so great

photos via FB and my instagram

xoxo

fashion, Lifestyle

Saturday Shopping

May 18, 2013

the weather is warmer,

so all I’m thinking about

are dresses and stripes.

preferably combined.

I will live in this dress. It is perfect.
I am obsessed.

{rachel pally dress}

joie always makes the silkiest striped
tank dresses each summer
this is much cuter than the older one I have

{joie tank dress}

adorable striped bikini

{splendid string bikini}

{leather pocket dress}

pricey… and never gonna happen… but sooo cute

{jean paul gaultier}

and a green maxi like I have never seen before

{alice + olivia open back dress}

hope you’re having a good weekend!!

xoxo

Lifestyle

friday’s random little things….

May 17, 2013

this may come as a shock

but I never drink Sunday through Thursday

we never have wine or anything at home during the week

~~because I can’t be trusted~~

because we are all responsible and adult-like….

but this week was filled with celebrations, birthdays, and friends in town

so every. single. night. I was drinking.

I hate myself. I am 100% reminded why I do not drink during the week.

I remember senior year of college, I ~~think~~ know we drank every day straight for over a month.

anyways…. this rambling is just me realizing I’m old as balls and not nearly as fun as I used to be.

so if this post makes even less sense than usual, it is because I am a hot mess.

if you know me in real life,

I try to get in as many “that’s what she said” jokes in as possible

and then laugh uncontrollably at myself.

so thank you to The Office for years for laughter.

enjoy the montage above.

ummmm are you all watching Nashville?

because this week was AMAZING.

I can’t wait for the finale next week.

facebook continues to creep everyone out

with new status update options

helping the obnoxious people that fill up

your news feed continue to annoy the crap out of you,

hence why instagram continues to be the number one choice.

Summer dress hunting continues,

this week with pretty bright colors

{shoshanna dress}

{amanda uprichard}

{halston heritage}

{bcbg}

Wedding plans are slowly starting to begin over here…

so I’m thinking about doing weekly/bi-monthly wedding posts.

yay or nay?

{haymarket designs}

you know there are going to be monograms

up-the-wazoo with this wedding

I’m a freak and love all things wedding related but I know not everyone else does.

It wouldn’t interfere with Coffee Talk and

bitching about celebrities at all of course 🙂

happy weekend!

xoxo

coffee talk, Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

May 16, 2013

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

If any of you are ordering Wines by Wives or Vicki’s Vodka we are no longer friends.

These women crack me up. Just because you become famous on a reality TV show does not mean you become some crazy entrepreneur (a word that I gaurentee 90% of them cannot pronounce) of any and everything.

I love booze. I love me some Pinot Grigio.

and Vodka…. abso-freaking-lutely.

Does that mean I should make my own and sell it?
NO.

Oh… wait….. I do want to try making some illegal moonshine at some point before I die…. but that totally doesn’t count, right?

You know they know there stuff, beause they go to Malibu for wine tasting.

“napa is overdone.”

riiiiiiiiight. it’s all about malibu for wine. yep.

Ugh. And Vicki. Please be quiet. No one cares that you are alone on the wine trip. Talking about it constantly does not make anyone feel bad for you.

Lydia is quickly becoming a new favorite for me.

Your mom is a total pothead, your family is crazy rich, and instead of becoming a typical rich kid nutbag with every kind of issue and addiction possible, you becoming super religious. Touché, lady.

And you stay nice and honest while still telling Alexis she is a lunatic and needs to stop using the word bullying because she is full of crap. AND you make a card for Slade’s sick son.

I can’t even discuss Terry and Heather, because when he offered up that divorce comment to the group at brunch, I wanted to cry for her. Seriously Terry…. you are a complete and utter dumb ass. How Heather was able to stay completely calm and say “I know, let me just take this week, and we’ll pick it up next week” is beyond me. Lock it up Terry.

yes, this is the best she has looked in quite some time

but honestly, Maxim, hottest girl of the year?

come. on. now.

Revenge isn’t really a gossipy show, but this one line was just so good I had to share.

“Stay the hell away from my daughter, or your ability to procreate will be a distant memory.” Pure gold. I’ll need to remember this for my future children when they inevitably bring home some horrible choice of a human.

Danity Kane is reuniting!!!

I definitely, definitely was all over Making The Band back in the day.

please tell me I’m not the only one.

90210’s Shenae Grimes got married

in this hideous Vera Wang,
to awful music

and at a haunted location or something.

Whyyyy? She’s so pretty.

and ~~I’m sorry~~ this look is just so ugly.

Savannah Guthrie got engaged!!!

and holy Good Lord her ring is so gorgeous!!!

but the real person having the best week ever,

is mr. ego himself, kanye.

first he hits his head on a traffic sign

hahahahaha. moron.
laughing so hard I can’t handle it.

then, he obviously gets furious at the paparazzi.
your giant head is what caused it jackass.

then, his car gets crunched by his baby mama’s gate

I LOVE IT.

my favorite word in the world that I ever learned was schadenfreude because it was so much damn fun to say, even though the meaning is kind of sad.

GLEE AT ANOTHERS MISFORTUNE.