The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

fashion, Lifestyle

Wish List

Coffee Talk will posted tomorrow, promise!
I was up a little late watching the Blackhawks WIN last night
so haven’t had time to finish it up! 

For today, my lusts for the week….. 


**and thank you to those who told me this model 
was the girl from The City
I had completely not realized it, and it made my day** 
she never smiles in any photos and I realize why 
because she looks like she is high or something when she does. 




and this gif just made me laugh, so why not throw it in

see you tomorrow for some reality TV + celebrity gossip!! 
xoxo
by  
Lifestyle, wedding

wedding wednesday

 I saw this adorable dress at Gap right after 
we got engaged and had to have it.
It not only was inexpensive, but it was white, and I was SO excited to finally be able to buy white dresses! I felt like every dress I had loved over the last year was white, and since I was only going wearing them to engagement parties/showers/weddings it was never an option. 
and it has pockets! – a phrase that always seems to be the final selling point of just about anything.  

we went to check out the St. Regis while at home since Kip and I have never gone, so I wanted to dress a little nicer for the afternoon. 
 “do not take a picture of my face….. this is so awkward” 
  

{gap dress,on sale $49, sizes were going quick! // tory burch flats // monogrammed necklace, similar // monogrammed sunglasses, or here }
{and for those DYING to know, the hair tie is goody.  they are really difficult to find, but I think that CVS occasionally carries them when in stock.}

I’m clearly a pro at this… no earrings, I figured sunglasses covered the lack of makeup, and my always present hair-tie is strapped across my right wrist instead of my watch. 

other white floral dress options: 
{for love and lemons}

xoxo
by  
Lifestyle, weekend recap

Weekend Recap

I flew home to Atlanta for the weekend, 
and we had amazing weather and a great time. 
Most of it was spent on the back porch or sitting by the pool,
with a little bit of wedding planning while the boys golfed, 
but here are a few snapshots. 

lots of time on the porch in PJ’s
 sweetwater brewery with live music 
 drinks at the st. regis 
 and for some reason this one below won’t rotate,
but acting like idiots as always. 

How were your weekends?! 

xoxo
by  
coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

discuss amongst ya-selves…. 

warning – lots of videos today…. 

 First up: It’s totally not funny.
at all. laughing is so wrong. 
but it’s hiarlious.
George Michael fell out of a moving Range Rover on the highway
 and The Sun article was titled
SCRAPE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO SLOW.
for all of you that aren’t pissing your pants, please stop reading this blog.
or become an educated human and download all of Wham!s greatest hits immediately. 

but no, for the record it was a really, really bad accident.
but he is fine, so therefor its okay to laugh, right?
so lets all start slow clapping for the person with the balls
to titled the article SCRAPE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO SLOW. 

Have you seen Newlyweds: The First Year on Bravo?
Two people excite me: Lunatic Tina + Blair
screaming  like bloody murder “I hate you” at your husband of 10 minutes in front of everyone at the wedding is definitely a top 10 tip for happiness.
well played Tina.
But, more importantly. Blair.

This week there was an entire segment devoted to him receiving the text message that whitney houston died
i can’t even handle it
so amazing.  the way his husband was looking at him is the way my man-friend looks at me during 99% of our conversations about important things,
like SCRAPE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO.

Did any of you see the preview for The Bachelorette?
Because I will elaborate more next week….
but I kept staring at the TV being like “that’s James…. that’s definitely James…rewinding…(picking up phone to text my friend Sean about if his friend James is on the show)”
(I know the guy on the other side too… all Miami of Ohio FB players)
(I swear the guys at Miami of Ohio DO NOT pose like this. ever.)  
and then BAM
everyone hates James, he is the villian of the season, and has a girlfriend from home that shows up at the house.
I guess I have to watch now.  The clip was played on TV, and of course is nowhere to be found now, but they will show it all on Monday’s episode during the season preview so get excited!!

RHOOC
alexis taking acting classes.

“yeah!!! I was on general hospital!!!”
watch below and prepare yourself:



how many takes do you think it took to say those “big” words??? 
please dear lord.  I would rather look at Jim than watch Alexis act which is really saying something.
oh, and slade got gretchen a rolls royce!! 
because when you can’t pay child support, afford a mortgage, or buy an engagement ring,
you can OBVIOUSLY afford a rolls royce! WTF? douche. dumb ass. 

Everyone is freaking out about the finale of Kitchen Nightmares (gordon ramsey) because of some Crazy Amy Baking Company or something.
I’ll be catching up on it this weekend because I am clueless, but I felt like I had to mention it incase anyone else cares. 
Gordon Ramsey is the craziest man ever, so I can’t wait to see what happened with cops being called in + it getting this much press.

kristen stewart hung out with t. swift after her and rob broke up.
ummm…… 
those two have about as much in common as a whore in church.

I don’t watch DWTS, but my mom is obsessed and constantly calls.
Nance Pants: DID YOU SEE KELLIE PICKLER?!
me: no mom, you know I have 978 other shows I watch
Nance Pants: IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. 
 I can’t believe you missed it!!! I’ll keep it on the DVR until you get home!!! 
(she will keep things on the DVR for years…. years people)
Me:  Mom.  I can google it.  It’s on YouTube. I’ll watch it right now.
Nance Pants: Oh!!!!!! Really?! Already!?! It’s amazing!!!!!
 But I’ll keep it on the DVR for you. 

But, it is amazing.  Definitely worth watching.  She is so damn cute. 

How did I not hear about this Gwyneth GOOP trip??? On Groupon?? 
So ridiculous…. but as the article says…. actually is a serious steal and you would be saving money on flights and hotels even if you didn’t give a crap about Gwynnie.  I have just had such a love-hate relationship with her lately….. 

never, ever, ever, ever, do I say that Friends is bad or not funny.
but the Ellen video Jen + all of then did just really upset me. don’t do it if it’s not funny.
in fact, it was painful to watch. 
and courtney cox on friends was the most beautiful human being ever, and her face can’t even more anymore.  lay off the botox a little bit!! 

tara reid was at the fast and furios 97 premiere
that’s all.  just hadn’t seen her, wasn’t sure if she was alive or going all amanda bynes or anything, so thought I’d share she looks decently sober. 
there’s reportedly a new NYC housewife

and she is BFF’s with Brandi.  Look out! 


crazy Tamra is getting a spinoff for her wedding
can’t wait to see this nut-job plan a wedding. 
she actually scares me through the television screen. 

the end of last week’s SNL,
when everyone gives hugs and loves for the season finale and cast members leaving
no one touched kanye
and he akwardly looked side to side
bahahahaha. 
I LOVE IT

Sorry for the inevitable 9 million typos. 
I don’t have time to go through and check today. ah!

xoxo

by  
Lifestyle, wedding

errr…. wedding wednesday

this just feels so strange….. 
I’m so used to my wishlist wednesday! 
so today I am going to combine both…. 
because not being able to look at pretty dresses would drive me crazy.  

so for my first attempt at this, I’m going to keep it super general with some random samplings from weddings that I just find pretty and gorgeous 
…. and things I hope there will be at our wedding. 
and a video at the end. 

There will be cute food, and lots of it
There will be hydrangeas…

There will be monograms…
(“there will be monograms” is the biggest understatement of the year.
this bitch is going to go crazy). 

and there will be sparklers. 

and in the coming year,
there is finally the option of cute little white dresses! 
wa-hoo!! 





with the stress of the next year ahead,
I’m definitely going to need some of the below meds.
how am I supposed to compare? 

xoxo
by  
health, Lifestyle

lay off me i’m starving.

Yesterday was Monday.
So therefor, yesterday was the day of the week where I always wake up and quickly proclaim that I am going to be so healthy and so active.
 And then ya know….. crap happens. 
you have a weekend/week/month of crappy eating and feel gross and then spend like 3 hours on pinterest looking at exercise tips, healthy meal plans, delicious good for you recipes, etc.
{Sunday night is generally the pinterest crusade, followed my Monday mornings lies about becoming a fitness expert}. 
please tell me I’m not the only psycho that does this? 

I haven’t been horrible, but I haven’t done anything other than walk on the treadmill in weeks.  

via
Nothing strength training related, no weights, nada.  It was probably that damn spin class that left me unable to walk for a week that started this… but whatever. 
I can tell that the small bit of strength and muscle I ever gained is completely gone. 


SO – I’m wanting to start slowly getting back into real workouts (LIKE SNOOKI!!), where I actually sweat instead of laughing my ass off at the television and checking instagram every five seconds. 


I was reminded of Tracy Anderson, who I think is quite pretentious with her whole clique with skinny people and Gwyneth, but who I also think really does have the best workouts, when I saw her new RIDICULOUSLY PRICED meal plan service.
it’s $55 per day! WTF?!

No crap.  I’d be looking like Gwyneth too if I had $55 a day to spend on food.

do you know how much booze you can get with $55?!?! 


But, here are the things I have tried and have liked.
I’m hoping you’ll share yours too. 
Tracy Anderson Perfect Design Series DVD’s.


when I actually kept up with these, I could see muscles. 
It was mind boggling.  

Her YouTube 8 minute Arms workout



I am seriously obsessed with this.  It is a prime example of why she fascinates me – how does holding your arms up for 8 minutes absolutely kill you? but it does.  And her stuff really does make amazing arms. 
All of her other YouTube workouts can be found here as well,

because the DVD’s can get pricey.  (as if the meal plan didn’t give you a hint).
GOOP posted a whole series + a 15 minute workout with her here, too. 


Some great fitness blogs: 
Tone It Up  – offer workout videos, recipes, and specialized plans for purchase
Body Rock TV – I cannot keep up with this chick, but when you want to look like a freak in your living room, she’s who to watch. 

And Healthy Cooking Blogs: 
Skinny Moms Kitchen – one of my absolute favorites

 I was hoping you would share any blogs/tips/workouts you like! 
Oh, and my Pinterest board for Health + Fitness can be found here.


OH! and the most important part of this whole thing!! My man-friend saw me googling “Chris Farley Lay me off me I’m Starving” and has NO CLUE what that is.  I can’t handle his complete and utter disrespect for SNL.  His childhood must have seriously sucked. 

xoxo
by  

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