The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

Lust List

lusts for the week…..

my favorite Joie dress is now available in a top version! 
be still my stripe-obsessed-heart. 


a tortoise shell clutch
and for under $100! 

mint and an open back = perfect for muggy days
{veve maxi dress} 


I sense an awful trend with all of revolve clothing’s models…. 
can you figure it out?? good lord. 

another great dress for under $100


and just what you all have been wanting
and needing to add to your summer wardrobe! 
a $250 dress that doesn’t even cover your ass!!! 

xoxo
by  
Lifestyle

weekend recap

friday marked the first official day of summer
hallelujah.  the season where I actually have a wardrobe has arrived.
I spent the weekend at a bachelorette bash in michigan with 15 lovely ladies.
needless to say, we had an amazing time. 

it was an incredible weekend.

to make the weekend all the better,
my best friend got engaged!!! 
I am so, so excited for her and her fiancé. 
I knew this year was going to be great, but going through all of the excitement of being engaged and planning a wedding with my oldest friend who I’ve been through everything with is going to make it 9 million times better!!
Such a special time.  

for now, I’m recovering from some sort of weird flu/stomach bug/awful-thingy….. so basically I’m snuggling AppleTV for dear life as I drift in and out of consciousness. 
I can’t get enough Downton Abbey. 

xoxo
by  
coffee talk, Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

coffee talk is up a bit late today. I’m still recovering from screaming my head off at the television. 
I was having anxiety attacks a-la-claire danes on homeland every 3 minutes last night watching the Blackhawks game.
It was perhaps the most intense 3 hours of sports I have ever watched. 
  And after 3 periods and overtime, we WON.


Oh wait, I’m sure you don’t give a damn, soooo on to coffee talk!

Princesses of Long Island:
Jeff and Amanda – I just can’t even handle it.
“Jeff LOVES Watching me get out of the pool”. 
{hes probably watching the pool boy behind you}
They hump on lounge chairs while a poor waiter is trying to take their order and repeat “I love you Mama! I love you Dada!” to one another.  It just keeps getting worse and worse. 
Chanel (or Coco…. pick your poison.  We are 3 episodes in and I still can’t figure out which one annoys me the least) announces that HER DAD BUYS HER LINGERIE…as if it is a normal occurrence. 
 UM. You need to see a therapist.  Immediately. And add this to the list you keep mentioning of why you aren’t married.  To be fair, she seems really nice and doesn’t seem to be making the horrid life decisions her friends do. But…. that nice comment being said…. YOUR DAD BUYS YOU LINGERIE???? 

And Casey went from normal to bipolar during the course of one episode.  It begins with her saying “I want to punch you in the face right now” when Erica apologizes for sleeping with her high school boyfriend.
all I kept thinking during this moment was how Casey should say Lauren’s EPIC line:
So, Casey wants to hit her, but by the end of the episode, she changes her mind. 
So, cut to Erica. The girl who used to be the hottest girl in NJ and now is the biggest hot mess I have ever seen is trying to wash down some adderall with a jug of wine at 3 am, and Casey decides she wants to be her AA sponsor! Obviously!!  Casey came into her life for a reason!!! WTF? as Coco would say, Oy vey. 

ughhhhhhh. these two were out together monday.
enough with this back and forth and back and forth! I can’t take it anymore! How many times do we have to scream at you to run as fast as you can Liam! Horse Mouth will is gonna eat you alive!!


We all know Kimye had the baby.
And everyone is just dying to know the name!!!! 

My money is on Kimberly Kanye West.  God forbid attention be taken away from either of them at any point in their lives. 


okay…. so a few weeks ago we discussed how T. Swift was reportedly hooking up with this guy.
Now, SELENA GOMEZ??? I’m sorry…. WHAT am I missing here?
Another perfect example of how men can get anyone based on personality alone.  When guys deny this fact, it infuriates me.  Take a look above: Exhibit A. He must have one bangin’ personality.

RHOOC:
The salsa party brought out some interesting outfits.  
and by interesting, I clearly mean hideous. 
Tamra.  No.  Just no. 

And Slade, yes, Lydia is crazy skinny and could use a cheeseburger.  
Sorry But I’m with Lydia – it’s inappropriate for a man to be making comments any to a woman about her weight at all, skinny or fat.  
And if we are going to state the obvious when it is inappropriate to do so, everyone would spend every moment with you telling you what a worthless d-bag you are. 
 So shut your pie hole.  And go get a damn job. 

Why is Jamie Chung a celebrity? Her face is everywhere!
She is in EVERY issue multiple times of People Style Watch, at every premiere, and now Us Weekly is making her the top story for their celebrity round up of what people did this week.  When did this happen?

Newlyweds:
Tina’s dad brought his new lady-friend to dinner. 
And made out with her and grabbed her the whole time. Like, MADE OUT and smooshed his face all up on her.  Of course I can’t find a photo (which is probably a good thing). 

It was the most digusting thing ever, and for once, Tina’s outbursts were completely warranted.
Oh my god it was just so disgusting. 

Alexis Neiers, The Bling Ring girl is on Dateline tomorow at 10. Set your DVR!

{my video clip keeps disappearing so click here}

Ya know, the one that got the crazy E! show Pretty Wild we mentioned a few weeks ago. And that now is a movie I am dying to see. 


And finally, Andy Cohen showed Hairy Panty Hose on WWHL that women in China are apparently wearing to keep men from staring at their legs.  They are panty hose that make your legs look like hairy mens legs.
They are hilarious – and I wanted to post a picture of them here so that we all could laugh together.
Whatever you do, 
DO NOT GOOGLE HAIRY PANTY HOSE.
Do not. Even “WWHL Andy Cohen hairy panty hose”
brings up REALLY BAD THINGS. 
perverts ruin everything! 


xoxo
by  
fashion, Lifestyle

wishlist wednesday

lusts for the week….. 


 I am drooling over this maxi.

can’t handle it. so gorgeous. 

{haute hippie maxi} 



{jeannie dress} in 4 different colors! 


{DVF Silk Top} 


{equipment embroidered top} 

{sequin shorts} also, have a matching sequin top

xoxo

Wedding Wednesday will return next week.
I’m Happy to report I have been added as a Southern Weddings Bride Blogger! 

by  
Lifestyle, recipe

Greek Tortellini Salad

For the BBQ we hosted on Friday I wanted to try a new recipe.
Pasta Salad is one of my favorite summer side dishes,
and when I saw this Greek Tortellini Salad on Pinterest I knew I had to make it.
I’m 99% positive I found this through Natalie’s Pinterest Board….basically every recipe she pins is immediately repinned to my recipe board.
sadly one of my better food photos 
It was SO EASY and so delicious.  I’d add a little bit more feta than the recipe calls for, and I didn’t use quite as many olives because I toss ’em to the side most of the time anyways. 
It made enough for all 8 of us to eat! 
I served it in a trifle so it was pretty to display as well. 

Greek Tortellini Salad

ingredients:

1 (20 ounce) package refrigerated cheese tortellini
1 1/2 cups grape tomatoes, cut in half
1 large cucumber, chopped
1 cup kalamata olives, pit removed and chopped
1/2 red onion, chopped
3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese

For the Dressing:
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
Salt and pepper, to taste

directions:

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the tortellini according to the package directions. Drain the tortellini and rinse with cold water.
2. Place the tortellini in a large bowl. Add the tomatoes, cucumber, olives, red onion, and feta cheese.
3. In a small bowl, whisk together the olive oil, vinegar, garlic, oregano, salt, and pepper. Pour the dressing over the salad and stir until salad is well coated. Serve immediately or place in the refrigerator.
Note-this salad will keep in the fridge for up to 3 days. 
Enjoy!! 
xoxo
by  
Lifestyle

weekend recap

hope you all had a great weekend! 
we hosted kip’s family and family friends on the porch Friday.
and celebrated with the good stuff as a gift – I think this was the first time we’ve ever had it! 

It was hot on the deck for the first half of the night, so I finally got to break out the comfy dresses.  

They have this Joie in a bunch of different gorgeous colors now. 

We got the deck all spruced up after a day at home depot
I think he could spend all day in that store. I’ll share photos of the patio this week it looks great. 

Saturday afternoon I went to a friend’s beautiful shower, and unfortunately left my phone in the car so don’t have a single photo. 
Afterwards, we went to our friend’s house to hang on their roofdeck,

 their great dane gets bigger and bigger…… 
and then to Beer Fest at the Lincoln Park Zoo.
It was fun, but a bit of a mess. 

Wine fest was perfectly laid back and you wandered from wine to wine….this was A LOT of people – way too many people. We left early to catch the end of the Blackhawks game and get away from the crowds. 

I’ll share a recipe I made for the BBQ tomorrow! 

xoxo

by  

Shop My latest Instagrams 

Click the photo to shop and follow along @thesarcasticblonde

 


© COPYRIGHT The Sarcastic Blonde 2011-2018. PRIVACY POLICY.
Theme development by Georgia Lou Studios.
DESIGN BY M. ELLE CREATIVE.