Sooooooooo – The Bachelorette Finale. 

I mean…. 

She was crying hysterically, broken hearted, because the man she said she wanted to marry had dumped her.  I should have known that OF COURSE she would be engaged to someone else within days!

 WHAT THE HELL???? 

I mean, we knew Drew was going out the door (no shock there), but then she just falls crazy in love with “what was always in front of her” and gets engaged?! Please leave comments on this because I really can’t believe this happened.  I always thought it was Chris, and I think they are great and that she does love him probably, but I really can’t believe she went from only seeing her future being engaged to one person, to being dumped, and then getting engaged to another?  Yeah… your mindset was totally stable to be making these decisions. 

Go read betches love this recap, because they say the perfectly inappropriate things I’m too scared to say.  

{believe it or not, this is always me holding back…. scary}. 

enough of my dumb opinion blabber….. onto the main point of the season.  I am so mad I never realized this, because I hate when someone beats me to anything humorous, but one of those dumb tweets on the bottom of the screen during the show said that Chris looks just like the dude from Blues Clues.

Um, YES.  Coffee Talk would have been so much better had I realized this all season.  

lilo hates to disappoint, so she is already out on the town with The Wanted! (who, my boy Andy Cohen has said, is quite the group of man-whores). 

princesses of Long Island ended with a giant yawn.

I feel like nothing is even worth discussing, not even crazy Ashlee’s panic attack or Jeff’s promise ring (promise ring that he is straight?) instead of an engagement ring.  The only thing worthy of discussing: 

I realized one thing that has been staring me in the face all season:  You know the bitchy resting face? Erica has a constant “I smell poop” face. That or an “I’m pooping” face – it varies between the two. I’m sorry, it’s gross, but it’s true. 

 That is totally worse that Bitchy Resting Face. 

Her face looks like this: 

constantly. 

Liam took Miley to his movie premiere last night.

For the love of God Liam! Ahhhhh!! 

RHOOC Finale:

There was drama, fake apologies with Jim crying (ha!!!!!), 

…..Gretchen’s face continuing not to move whilst her lips grow to the size of Cleveland, more Malibu Country talk, and Slade/Ms. Piggy/Tupperware Face crap.  The highlight: Brianna’s husband Ryan is a scary psychopath.  Like, straight up, I feel like he truly is not someone that should ever be around women or children.  The main reason – even Vicki didn’t make a PEEP! Crazy-face, screaming high pitched Vicki doesn’t say a single word about it.  The man was yelling at a 64 year old pot-head for putting her feet up on the couch and then went ape-sh*t.  I try to avoid my favorite curse words on here, but honestly the only way to phrase it is ape-sh*t. 

Here’s a small part from after it, but it’s an episode worth watching to see how crazy he goes at her while it happens.  

I hope he gets ripped a new you-know-what at the reunion, and I’m sure he will.

Ah I can’t wait for the Reunion!!!!! 

Thanks to A Spot of Whimsy, I have been discovering new TV shows.  She messaged me about The Vineyards on ABC Family, which is like a new The Hills but set in Martha’s Vineyard.  It’s definitely scripted like the Hills, and the first 1.5 episodes it’s just so fake, I was like “why am I watching this!?’, yet after that hurdle, I am hooked. 

Lou and Katie need to get together ASAP because I just can’t handle it.

 At the very least, it’s pretty people in a pretty town so why not.  It’s so bad that it’s good somehow? 

And finally, the REALLY big news of the week. If you’ve been reading Coffee Talk for awhile, you remember me sharing how People’s main page announced that a Let’s Make a Deal girl was pregnant. Well, today their homepage shares that she has welcomed a daughter!! Scarlett!! 

Will someone please tell me how the hell this is news? I mean, I consider every piece of dumb crap to be interesting, and this is just boggling my mind.  I apologize for just wasting 2 minutes of your time by sharing it with you. 

I know there’s so many other things to discuss that I am leaving out! 

Don’t forget to enter my Shabby Apple $50 Giveaway! 

The winner will be announced on Monday!