discuss amongst ya-selves……. 

:: shahs of sunset ::

MJ CONTINUES TO BE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER.

she needs a spin off show of her own. for real.  #spiritanimal

Asa stages a veiled art display/demonstration.

she has the group of women to her house the night before that are going to be veiled on the streets of LA and then choose to either stay veiled or unveil.  

wait, did you just put up a bunch of craigslist ads and

 pull random people who don’t even understand what you are doing? what’s the point that?  you couldn’t find six legit people to do this with you? 
and call me crazy, but I think its a bad idea to invite rando’s who have seen you on TV into your home for dinner…… first T-Rav on Southern Charm hosting an open to anyone event at his family home, now Asa.  Good Lord.

ughhhhhh Jessica is so obnoxious. 

did her face always not move?
 I feel like when she was first on the show/they first started dating her face moved???? 

when Jessica and Mike meet up with the gang for dinner, 
GIRL IS ON A MISSION.

the waiter hasn’t even put bread and butter on the table and she’s like “YOU LET ME GO OFF MIKE…. oh, hi, yesI’ll have a dirty martini please (fake smile til the waiter turns)… DONT SHUSH ME WHEN I YELL AT THEM MIKE.” 

damn girl. simmer down. 

then she doesn’t let up the whole time. 

reza just looks at her and is like bitch, please. 

“you can’t blame everything that goes on in your life on other people.”

BOOM. silence from jessica/only eyeballs blinking nothing else moving on face.

“you also can’t blame us for your bad botox Jessica!” 

k, so maybe that last part wasn’t said…..  

perhaps the highlight of the episode : 

jessica, still ranting about nothing outside the restaurant :
  “I’m literally not. I’m not.  im NOT im NOT.  I can’t. not.  I’m not……”

from the background down the sheet, Asa calmy shouts back : “THEN DON’T.”

laughed my head off.  it was perfection. 

UM. they already got married.

they met 9 months ago…. 

like, 3 days after her divorce from the first guy she married within 3 months of meeting.  

:: Bruce Jenner Special :: 

I don’t really want to even say that much about this because Coffee Talk is all about sarcasm and making light of situations and ridiculous gossip all in good fun, and I’ve realized there isn’t anything to make light of with this. 

I didn’t even make it to the first commercial break before I cried. When he started crying and I just felt so, so sad for him. 

But I will say this :
 at the end of the special, the dress that he shows Diane Sawyer he is going to wear to dinner……

I was like  “Ooooo well done Bruce. I like that. I would buy that.  I feel like its classic and I could wear it to so many things. Love it, very Ralph Lauren.”

slow clap for Bruce. 

if rumors are true and Miiley Cyrus is back together with Liam,

his dime piece of a brother needs to go Thor on his ass. for real. 

I’m not even wasting an image of miley + liam,
 lets just look at chris instead. 

you’re welcome. 

:: RHOBH ::

le sigh.
(I don’t even know the different in saying sigh or le sigh soooooo I guess I should just say sigh……. or insert a sighing gif??  the incorrect/pointless expressions of our generation are just too confusing.  I can’t even.  except for “I can’t even” because I think its the funniest thing on the face of the earth because I’m an obnoxious moron.  in my defense, if I could say ehrmagerd verbally in real life I would prefer that, but since it isn’t as socially acceptable, I can’t will have to do.)

if youre like me, all of you are slowly sounding it out and then laughing your head off when you realize what it says.  these things KILL ME.  even kip who “doesn’t understand whats funny” about gifs (IM SORRY?) laughs  at these, so I assume you all must like them too. 


what was I talking about? oh yeah – RHONY: insert HUGE SIGH IN ANNOYANCE and possible EYE ROLL.  

I get really sad when people I love via knowing them through my television let me down 

Bethenny was like a full on love affair. I loved her.  She is hilarious.  Loved her on the show and loved her on her individual show.  I listened to her books on tape when I used to commute. Blah blah.  We all know she is funny as hell, but yeah  I also knew she was cah-razy, but whatever.   Who isn’t. 

But seriously….. no likes for her AT ALL this season.  As a character on the show, sure, she is entertaining still and says some funny comments.  But last week I was feeling fed up with her and this week I was OVER IT. 

Last week she said : “what? are we going to sit around braiding each others p#$$# hair??”

I’M SORRY WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT.  THAT IS SO FOUL. someone needs to wash your mouth out with soap. 

Then this week the entire episode is even worse.

Bethenny has her birthday dinner with a bunch of strangers who are 24 years old and then they dance on the table.

I meannnnnnnnnn insert Countless Luann’s song in the background ‘money can’t buy you class’.

my age still starts with a 2 and even I would be mortified to show up to a party with one of those boys.  

Then, Bethenny goes to dinner with Holla/Challah Heather, Dorota, and Carol.

After Dorota mentions her late husband, Bethenny says (to the widow she has met one time prior) that term “late husband” sounds so old and needs to be re-branded.  “like Dead Husband or something.”

( insert no words and staring at the TV )

then she’s like “haha that was Insensitive of me!”

she follows it up with FLIPPING out about Heather saying that Kristin was hurt she was excluded from the birthday party.

(editors note : Kristin CLEARLY didn’t realize at this point that all she was missing was an embarrassing display of cougars and metrosexual twenty somethings using them for their money.)

(editors note numero dos : why is heather calling bethenny beth? no. its stuff like that where I’m like heather I like you so much and then you do really oddly creepy things like that.)

Bethenny says “If Kristin walked up to me and said she was hurt I would have told her she’s ridiculous” and keeps ranting.

UUUMMMMMMM.  and then she insults Heather too because she isn’t a widow and hadn’t said something rude and insensitive to her yet so she says she didn’t invite Heather to the party either, she was just some plus one that showed up. 

( insert more of me with no words and me staring at TV while the women comment on how rude, insincere and bitchy she is )

and don’t even get me started on Ramona flirting with that guy with the snaggle tooth during her “business venture”.

also, darota putting her big boyfriend in his place was awesome.

and terrifying.

legit dont eff with dorota. bitch will cut you. 

:: jackhole of the week :: 

sonja and lea black on WWHL this week.

goodness gracious….. who on my-boyfriend-andy-cohen’s team thought the two of them together with Sonja’s dentist (who clearly SUCKS) would be a great show. 

sonja’s facialist however….. well done.   

lea black sat and talked about how her housekeeper “made it in life” by being her housekeeper in her mansion, and sonja bragged about hanging with george clooney in lake como “before he had a house in como thank you very much!”

oh sonja. 

doesn’t really apply, but its one of my favorites, a classic

lea did the most obnoxious thing ever and stared at herself in the monitor the entire time. when guests do that on WWHL it makes me crazy.  do they think we can’t see them and know what they’re doing? 

the ankit headphones giveaway winner will be announced tomorrow, last chance to enter! 

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.