The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle, weekend recap

:: weekend recap ::


I hope you all had a wonderful (Halloween) weekend!
Kip and I went home to Atlanta for the weekend for my sisters birthday, brother-in-laws birthday, and to spend Halloween with my nephew!
Here are some pictures from the weekend.

the weather on Friday could not have been more gorgeous! 
and we had a night out to celebrate the two birthdays 
 my sister is expecting her second baby next year and couldn’t look any cuter with her little bump. 

my nephew was the cutest little hamburger ever, with the fries and Hamburgler completing the family costume. 
nance pants even temporarily joined in on the festivities. 

kip and I borrowed old costumes of my sister and brother-in-laws, Ghostbusters. 
 we had so much fun handing out candy to all the kids in the neighborhood after the parade 
 it was a great weekend to be home. 

A few favorite items that have been in heavy rotation :
:: articles of society ripped jeans :: only $54! fit: order down a size! 

this button down is so soft and perfectly thin.  I don’t know why I waited so long to order it.  as always, every week it is on sale so make sure you scoop it up during one of the 30-50% off sale days. 
articles of society makes my favorite inexpensive jeans.  order down a size! they run big.
they have the most amazing amount of stretch in them, making them hands down the most comfortable jeans I’ve ever owned. 

and not as fashionable, but my favorite workout tank.
I got a couple more – because half the battle is looking cute! 
fit : I order down a size in these

I haven’t worn this skirt yet, but I can’t wait to wear it for upcoming holiday parties.  It’ll likely be a Thanksgiving day top contender. 

I am also so in love with these jacquard skirt for the holidays.
and it is OVER 50% off right now!!! 

HOW IS IT NOVEMBER?
I am not ready for all of the holiday madness to begin! 
But I am looking forward to some holiday decorating 🙂 



by  
coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

discuss amongst ya-selves……
  
:: HASHTAG I MISS DOROTA :: 
just felt like it……. 
K…… moving on…… 

:: NOW :: 
um.  I was watching TV last night (I don’t know why I need to even start a sentence with that…. obviously, what else would I be doing) and I saw a a commercial for NOW That’s What I call Music 56!! 
FEEF-TY-SEE-EEKS. 
Do these people know its 2015? We have 9,000 ways to listen to whatever song we want, whenever we want…..  Going and buying a CD generally isn’t the way it’s done anymore, and I’m not knocking it, but my guess is the people that are buying CD’s aren’t people looking to listen to the song “I can’t feel my face” by The Weekend, oh my bad no E, The Weeknd. 

:: hot guys gone cah-razy :: 
I don’t know if you follow me on instagram, but like a year back I posted this gem that I read in my Us Weekly.   because my jaw hit the floor when I read it. 
I mean…….seriously. 
why andrew keegan? You were EVERYTHING when we were tweens.  my teen beat was a constant battle to win your love or JTT’s!!! 
so, now he is expecting a baby and here is what he says.

“My beloved partner and I are excited to welcome a baby into our lives and our community,” the Party of Five alum and Full Circle Venice founder, 36, said in a statement to Us. “We look forward to embracing the sacred responsibility of parenthood as well as learning from this spirit.”
Keegan, who co-founded the spiritual center in Los Angeles, couldn’t be happier to become a dad. 
“Our intention is to raise our child in a co-creative environment where truth and love are foremost,” his statement continued. “We welcome your thoughts and prayers for this incubating life.”

STOP. IT. 
 HASHTAG I WANT TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL AT THIS ‘FULL CIRLCE’ FOR A DAY.
also, arena’s daughters boyfriend/luke wheelers son on nashville is totally the 2015 version of andrew keegan (but not as cute as andrew keegan was)
am I right? or am I crazy? 
AND I JUST GOOGLED TO FIND HIM AND GUESS WHAT HIS NAME IS? 
GUESS?! (OR READ BELOW)
……………………..
KEEAN. like keegan with no G. whaaaat ? coincidence??? 
:: RHOC Reunion Part II ::
 I mean, for how much has gone on, why do I feel like these reunions are still pretty crappy? This week was much better than last, but there was still a bunch of blah-de-blah thrown in there with only Vicki’s horrible dress displaying her OG of OC breasts to distract me. 
Here comes Mr. Personality, Jim ‘Jimmy’ Edmonds.  
my-boyfriend-andy-cohen introduces him with far more enthusiasm than any of the ladies. shocker. 
um, Jim, perhaps if you are trying to show that you DO care for your wife even slightly, maybe sit a little closer to her or make eye contact or SOMETHING. 
their dynamic on this reunion is just as painfully awkward, if not more, than it was all season.  Meghan, in all of your googling and researching did you not find out that these reunions are where you try to shut-it-down and show people how things really are how you WISH everything came across on TV.
they play the recap (“package”) of jimmy’s words and actions as everyone embarrassingly watches in the little corner on the left side of the screen and it’s so much worse seeing all of it back to back to back. 
cut to Jim…… 

jimmy sissy pants thinks “you get a portrayal of something that isn’t really you” when you’re on TV. 
ohhhhh is that it? 
what else could it be? 
“I was tired and annoyed” 
SERIOUSLY?
“I wasn’t ready for TV to catch everything.”
WHAT?
I don’t think I heard him say a single apology for how he treated or spoke to his wife, or even say anything remotely close. 
but don’t worry y’all….. he has heather there to remind us all of THE TRUTH.  
BECAUSE TV HAS BEEN LYING TO US. IT WAS ALL EDITING. 
 “jimmy’s the coolest guy ever”
OHHH!! thanks heather!!! thank goodness for you to clarify!! 
I can’t put it into words (I mean I can but I’m trying to be more positive it’s just too many), but Jimmy bugs me like no other housewife-husband. 
Well, other than Joe Guidice obvioiusly, because he takes the cake. 
Jimmy : “would I do anything differently?  probably be more aware of whats going on around me”
WTF? UGH YOU MAKE ME INSANE. 
SORRY IM NOT SORRY. 

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen directly asks Shannon what the viewers keep asking: 
 “don’t you think filming all this cheating/therapy stuff for the show is harmful for your children?”
she is like HELL TO THE NO I am “teaching them to fight for family and that family is most important”.  okay…… I can say more power to you on that (aka I couldn’t disagree more they are little girls they should be in la-la-land and unaware of all of this but whatevs) 
buutttttt can’t you choose to teach them to fight for family OFF camera?
I mean, I still like you, but you’ve really increased your crazy score each week. 
then breana comes out and its just like RUH-ROH sheeite’s gonna hit the fan! 
the stuff she says is going is so horrible + gross and vicki just sits there next to her?? 
side note : I believe all of it, do you? 
the only thing worse than what Breanna is saying Brooks said and did is Drama-obsessed-Tamra salivating, like, truly, on the edge of her seat listening to all of it and adding in her one line commentary every five seconds because she is getting high off the drama.  the only person more pathetic than Vicki is Tamra.  she will NEVER change. 

:: below deck :: 
leon abandons ship (see what I did there?), so, naturally, rocky strips her clothes off and jumps into the ocean then swims to a neighboring boat because she realizes she has nowhere else to go…… 

I want to go on and on about this weeks episode (and every week).
Rocky could very well be certifiably insane, but I laugh SO hard at her antics (as does Kipper) on the show that I SO BADLY welcome her crazy any week.  she is unbelievably nuts.  

 :: southern charm ::
when I think about, southern charm is truly one of the Bravo shows I miss the most when it isn’t on.  I miss Shep….. I miss Catherine…. I miss Whitney’s Mom…. but especially Cameron.
She gave an interview and it gave me hope that there will be a Season 3.
And reminded me that Catherine + T-Rav are pregnant with baby dos and I just NEED the two of them back on the small screen to watch all this. 

:: MAZEL :: 
because now I’m sentimental about all my off-air Bravo shows and I just feel like it….. 
god bless you janet. 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.



by  
fashion, Lifestyle

:: wish list under $100 ::

I was hoping to have my Venice post ready for today, but alas, 
RH and Ladies of London distracted me once again.  Next tuesday for sure I promise!   

lusts for the week {under $100}………. 
   
heads up : my favorite sweater is back in stock! 
get it while they last! 

so cute, amazing price + on sale! 

and I guess I’m really feeling leopard this fall….. 

only $20! 

on sale for 40% off! 

my lust lust lust coat of the week.
I’M IN LURVE! 


also in navy 

:: fine knit poncho ::   under $35 


sole society has added select apparel items to their collection and just like their shoes and accessories, they have tons to pick from all at perfect prices. 


…. and this is more of a warm weather piece.
but why not start thinking about warm weather now? 
you know I am! 
the perfect black open back romper FOR UNDER $100!!! 
this looks identical to a club monaco one I loved but was way out of budget!! 



by  
Lifestyle

:: you only call me when it’s half past five ::

about a week or two ago, kip started playing the song from The Weeknd “you only call me when its half past five…..”

its actually called The Hills but I meannnn it should be called you only call me when its half past five. 

I really like the song too, but he like, really really liked it.
so then I started messing with him and calling his phone at exactly 5:30. on the dot. 
I AM HILARIOUS.  he doesn’t think so.
and then I took it a step further … …



and I call at 5:30 and have the song all cued up the perfect spot to start blasting the chorus of “you only call me when its half past five”.

and I laugh hysterically.  and he does not.


that’s literally ALL I have for you today 
sorry I’m not sorry
because I just needed to share how I have the mind of a 10 year old and am that obnoxious person that laughs harder at themself than anyone else.

can’t wait to call him later today…….


by  
fashion, Lifestyle

:: she could be a farmer in those clothes ::

had to share my latest obsession while it is ON SALE and before it sells out!! 

plus, as my husband said, I “look like a farmer”,
which is man talk for perfectly fall-basic-betch-attire, right?! 

plus, any comments that make me think of a line from clueless are A-OK in my book! 
this j.crew button down is the softest, yummiest shirt in my closet.
it is so perfectly warm and snuggly that I literally went to look at the label thinking “oh my gawd this is so soft what is this made of? (reads label) oh.. cotton.. nice….im a dumbs” 
and the plaid matches all of the hand towels in my moms kitchen so that’s just an added bonus 🙂  navy plaid tea towels galore in our house. 
runs large, order down a size 

soooo I hope my husband’s excited to have his wife look like a farmer a lot around here…… 
and I hope you snag one and love it just as much as I do! 









by  
coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

discuss amongst ya-selves…….
   
 :: NEW EMOJIS :: 
NEW EMOJIS.  NEW EMOJIS.  NEW EMOJIS!!!!! 
 MIDDLE FINGER!!!! 
A TACO!!!! 
CHAMPAGNE!!!!! 
be still my beating heart. 
the only thing I will EVER update my phone for!!! 
but I still do NOT see a HASHTAG WHITE WINE EMOJI????
throw me (and ramona) a bone people. 

:: DANCING WITH THE STARS ::
I’m not as in to this season as the last (if you can’t tell….. last year I was talking every week about which dance made me cry and going on and on and on)
Its getting better though……
The intro this week was back to what I love.

When all the pro’s do the big numbers together it is just AH-MAZING.

Paula Deen continues to make my jaw hit the floor with what comes out of her mouth.  And not in a good way.
unrelated side note based on gif: I watched Bridesmaids for the first time in forever last weekend and died laughing; I forgot how hilarious kristin wiig and all of them were in that movie. 

:: farrah abraham :: 
you know that crazy ____ (what do you even say? 16 and pregnant cast member turned porno star turned plastic surgery fiend turned I don’t knoww what?)
THIS IS HER.  whaaaaaaat? 
I mean seriously good lord why do young people pay tons of money to look 25 years older??? I will never understand.  well…. I guess the plastic surgery is the least of her mistakes but still…. 


:: REAL HOUSEWIVES OC REUNION :: 


ok, first of all, it has to be said : 


(whenever I say “it has to be said….” I think INSTANTLY of the scene from Stepmom where she tells of the high school boy…. anyone? bueller? crazy brain in overdrive over here?….. but I digress….) 


It has to be said, that with every single one of these reunions, no matter which city/cast, are filled with NADA and complete BS for “Part One”.  Like…. what a waste of time while you tease us with the good stuff that we won’t see until next week, or most likely the week after that for hour 3!! 


Just make it 2 damn reunion episodes not 3 !! 


Come on My-Boyfriend-Andy-Cohen! I can’t handle it anymore! I have too much other crap on Bravo for you to spoon feed me!!! 


anyways, in case you forgot, because she hasn’t said it 97 times (per week , Vicki wants to make it clear that she is the “OG of the OC”.  and she created the whole show.  she is responsible for all of it.  so respect her. basically everyone at bravo owes everything to her so bow down bitches!!! 


oh vicki…. you can blab all you want, but you created nothing and all this does is point out that you are the oldest woman in all of the franchises.  but bless your heart. 





Tamra isn’t one to let a single episode air without being a complete and utter hypocrite. 


my-boyfriend-andy-cohen reads an email from Alexis Bellino -aka “Jesus Juggs” and her thoughts on Tamra and her newfound Christianity. 


ya know… cause the “former” tamra did things like this:


well, JJ wasn’t buying what Tamra was selling and shockingly doesn’t think she’s changed.


Tamra responds the same way pre-baptism Tamra would and says she’s “the kind of christian that gives christians a bad name!” 


ohhhh. okay.  I thought that was you, but I must have had a little too much ramona pinot grigio?  I could have sworn that in relation to you finding God you said “anyone that doesn’t like it can suck it.”  hmmmm…. if anyone is giving christians a bad name….. 


 


whilst megan’s brunette hair gets a NAY NAY FLUFFY from this girl, it definitely is much better than the cotton candy pink she sported a few weeks ago.





 maybe she hopes each time she has a new hair color her husband will start treating her like its a new relationship and do a 180.  like, get a personality…. stop being a complete ass…. not yell at her in public like a bitchy 16 year old saying “YEAH I CAN! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT”.   that one moment alone at the “sex tape” party blew my mind.  I just googled it so that I could put his direct quote in here because I could not believe I was seeing a grown ass man scold his wife in public and say these things : 


“Don’t ever put me in that situation again. Don’t. I can do whatever I want. Yes, I can. Yes. Zip it.  I don’t really give a f**k,


SERIOUSLY MEGAN. LEAVE HIM. RUN LIKE THE WIND. 


I am super excited to see what nonsense that ass says when he sits on the couch during the reunion (I’ll probably have to wait for part 427) 


and my-boyfriend-andy-cohen better not be all nice to him because he is a former st. louis cardinal and andy loves him or else I’ll be PEESEDDD. 





There wasn’t a single moment of the Brooks Cancer talk for this part of the reunion (further proof that this whole first hour was BS sorry I’m not sorry its true because that is the only thing the ladies talked about for 99% of the season.) I am very much looking forward to Vicki defending/not defending/lying/having a couch freak out while talking about Brooks next week.


I have a feeling she’s going to pull a Ramoner when she gets grilled…








:: mazel of the week :: 


vicki’s late mother.


the story of her keying that dude’s car and getting arrested and the whole shabang was PURE GOLD PEOPLE.  highlight of part 1 hands down. 





OUR WIFI HAS NOW GONE DOWN BLOODY GOSH DARN IT! 


thats all I got….. adios. 




as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.














by  

Shop My latest Instagrams 

Click the photo to shop and follow along @thesarcasticblonde

 


© COPYRIGHT The Sarcastic Blonde 2011-2018. PRIVACY POLICY.
Theme development by Georgia Lou Studios.
DESIGN BY M. ELLE CREATIVE.