TheSarcasticBlonde, Author at The Sarcastic Blonde

:: tuesday things ::

December 1, 2015

random thoughts for the day…….

Happy December!!!!

:: one ::

I came home from work yesterday and stared at the computer for at least two hours trying to get Christmas shopping for family members done, and accomplished zilch. I had finally narrowed gifts down and my husband was like “ummm wait I don’t know about that”. So Cyber Monday was a huge fail in this household.

I did pick up a Play All Day Elmo that says 150 phrases and responds to you and plays games ~~and is probably a government run robot with a camera how are toys capable of this stuff~~ for my nephew (mom, I hope you or someone else didn’t already buy him this because its on its way to your house :D) and Kip and I are very excited about seeing Elmo’s capabilities.

It’s come a long way since regular old ‘Tickle Me Elmo’.

:: two ::

Big night for my-boyfriend-andy-cohen and BRAVO! HUGE!

we begin with :

Below Deck Reunion Part II

where rocky says her and eddie slept together multiple times since wrapping the show!

and rocky accuses kate of drinking!

the madness!!! I can’t wait 🙂

and yes I use this gif every time but its my-boyfriend-andy-cohen and I love it!

followed by Real Housewives of BEVERLY HILLS!

arguably the BEST of all of the franchises.

it appears brandy and kim aren’t full housewives this season,

which is a start because I have had ENOUGH of them and their POINTING FINGERS.

are you enjoying my pointy fingers gifs as much as I am?

just one more….

ok sorry I’m not sorry; now I’m done…..

the two of them were seriously THE WORST and every time I saw their damn index finger coming at me I was like

but then again….. everyone loves a bravo train wreck …..

so hopefully we get enough of them but not too much,

because I really can’t handle Brandis sheeyite. at. all.

and I’m excited to see who the 2 new blonde additions are

I seriously will be thinking about this premiere the entire day at work, thinking

I just hope we get another look at Yolanda’s fridge.

and THEN Girlfriends Guide to Divorce

love it. but also makes me wish Odd Mom Out was already back on…..

:: three ::

and thennnnnn……..tomorrow…..

the premiere of TOP CHEF!!!

I love me some Tom Collichio.

:: four ::

Minted has possibly the most heartfelt, sweetest gift to give:

a custom house letterpress portrait.

This would be a perfect gift for newlyweds, first time homeowners,

or for parents you could do an image of their longtime family home or a beach or lake house.

LOVE.

:: five ::

I made the White Cheddar Cheese and Sage Ball for Thanksgiving, and while mine was not as perfect with the Pomegranate Seeds, it was deeeee-licious.

:: how sweet eats pomegranate cheddar, almond, crispy sage cheeseball ::

I had never used fresh sage leaves before, and I thought there was no way they would “crisp” up when I fried them in butter for two minutes, but they did and it made the whole house smell AMAZING.

and the fried sage butter gets added to the cheese ball too ….. it’s like a classier paula dean dream ball.

I highly recommend it for your Christmas and Holiday parties!

I also made my crack cake for dessert,

because nothing says Holidays like CRACK CAKE!

Lifestyle, weekend recap

:: monogram monday ::

November 30, 2015

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and long weekend!

I am exhausted but it was a great couple of days.

We capped the weekend off with our final wedding of 2015 – it was absolutely gorgeous and so, so much fun.

I literally barely moved yesterday…… I feel so worthless after four days of eating and drinking….. but it was worth it! I’m ready for some healthy foods and a break from the booze for the next few weeks!

Here are a few photos from the wedding this weekend :

the bride was so stunning; her dress was incredible!!!

I wore this dress and absolutely loved it!

:: jill stuart gown ::

and now,

a personalized find for monogram monday.

this blanket scarf is super cute, has tons of color options, and is priced under $50!

:: personalized blanket scarf ::

fashion, Lifestyle

:: BLACK FRIDAY SALES ::

November 27, 2015

get those wallets ready!

it’s time to get your christmas shopping done,
all from the comfort of your couch while you recover from yesterday’s food fest.

:: J.CREW FACTORY ::
50% off everything and Free Shipping

:: MADEWELL ::
25 % off with code CALMDOWN

perfect time to grab a pair of those Sorel Boots!

:: J. CREW ::
40% off amazing styles + 30% off everything else with code HOLIDAY

:: ASOS ::

30% off with code BLESSED

(I wonder why they picked Blessed and not HASHTAG Blessed……)

:: ANN TAYLOR ::

50% off with code CELEBRATE

:: RAG AND BONE ::

newbury booties up to 50% off, plus an additional 25% off with code BF25

and these newbury booties too

:: LOFT ::

40% OFF with code BF40

:: GAP ::

50% off everything with code BLKFRIDAY

:: OLD NAVY ::

40% up to 60% off everything!

:: TORY BURCH ::

Spend $250, get 30% off with code THANKS

:: MARK AND GRAHAM ::

20% off, free shipping, free monogramming, and free gift wrap with code FRIENDS

:: KATE SPADE ::

25% off everything with code MERCI

and a few more……..

Amazon: 30% off clothing, shoes & more using code 30BLACKFRI

Anthropologie: 25% off everything in stores & online using code SHOPTOIT

Athleta: 20% off your entire purchase in stores & online using code WORKIT (ends 11/29)

Banana Republic: 50% off sweaters & 40% off everything else online only (some exclusions apply) using code BRFRIDAY thru 11/27 + free shipping on orders over $50

BaubleBar: 30% off your purchase using code THX + free shipping & returns on all orders (ends 11/29)

Club Monaco: 25% off $150, 30% off $250 or 35% off $400 in stores & online using code THANKFUL + free shipping on $150 or more

Express: 50% off everything online & in stores until noon or 40% off everything after noon on Friday + free shipping on all orders

Forever 21: Extra 50% off sale styles & up to 70% off select full-price styles in stores & online (prices as marked); first people in line at the store will receive mystery gift cards valued at up to $100 + free shipping on all orders today only

H&M: First 100 shoppers in line will receive in-store scratch-offs valued at up to $300; up to 60% off select styles storewide + free shipping for online orders using code 3265 (ends 11/28)

Macy’s: 20% off using code THANKS or get $20 off your purchase of $50 using code THANKS50; extra 25% off clearance designer handbags; 50% off select junior’s clothing; 60% off select women’s coats; 50% off select women’s sweaters; 25% off select NIKE styles + free shipping on orders of $50 or more

Neiman Marcus: $50 off your regular-priced qualifying purchase of $200 or more online only using code THANKFUL

Nine West: All boots & booties 50% off; up to 50% off pumps, bags & more; extra 20% off $125+

Nordstrom: Extra 25% off select sale styles (online prices as marked; in stores discount taken at register) + free shipping & returns on all orders

Nordstrom Rack: Extra 30% off all clearance items online only (prices as marked) + free shipping on orders over $100

Rebecca Minkoff: 25% off all orders with select styles up to 70% off + free shipping thru 11/29

ShopBop: 15% off $250+, 20% off $500+ or 25% off $1000+ using code GOBIG15

Talbots: 50% off any one item until noon Friday; 40% off your entire purchase until midnight Friday

Target: 20% off when you spend $75 today in stores & online

Urban Outfitters: Extra 30% off all sale items; Urban On members get an extra 40% off + free shipping on orders over $50

fashion, Lifestyle

:: Gift Guide : Comfy Cozy Gifts ::

November 25, 2015

The Christmas season is upon us!

Well …… starting tomorrow…..

because Thanksgiving is the start of Christmas?

or the appropriate time to start celebrating Christmas and decorating?

image via nordstrom holiday catalogue

For the first Little Things Gift Guide,

I have something warm and cuddly for those cold winter nights,

both out on the town and at home.

first up, some items to keep you looking fashionable while keeping you warm.

also, to help hide your bad hair day.

cable knit with faux fur mittens // cream hat with pom // bow beanie

fair isle pom hat // colorblock zip gloves // faux fur infinity scarf (only $20!)

ivory infinity scarf // bow beanie // tory burch gloves

a throw blanket is the best gift for absolutely anyone – a perfect gift idea for the person that is so tough to shop for.

the cable knit fleece lined throw below was possibly my favorite purchase last winter.

a day on the couch being lazy with your DVR is not complete without it.

cableknit fleece lined throw // plaid throw

faux fur throw // navy alpaca throw

and finally, the perfect jammies to lounge in!

dotted night shirt // navy short pajamas // gingham

gingham robe // plaid top + bottom set // sleep shirt

hope you all have a safe trip home to see your families if you are traveling today!!

or a safe night out if you are counting the minutes until drinks with friends tonight!

happy black wednesday!!!

fashion, Lifestyle

:: 50% OFF : Must Haves for the Holidays ::

November 24, 2015

I have my Italy post for you today (Tuscany!) ,

but I had to share the wonderful J.Crew Factory Sale
since they are one of my all time favorite places, especially for pieces for the holidays.

Everything is currently 50% OFF!

FIFTY.

FIVE. OH.

do you know what this means??!!!

get kicking and start shopping!!

my leather bucket bag from J.Crew flew off the shelves, and they have a suede version for $50 in three different colors!

:: suede bucket bag, three colors available ::

the sequin skirt and sequin trim sweatshirt are on their way to my doorstep as we speak!

see more favorites below!

International, Italy, Lifestyle, Travel

:: Italy Travel Diary : Siena ::

November 24, 2015

:: SIENA/TUSCANY ::

I’m back with more Italy info (finally!!!)

After leaving Venice, we headed to Tuscany with out first stop in Siena.

we took the train to Florence, and switched to a Train to Siena.

I had a sandwich at the Florence train station that was so good I didn’t understand how something that delicious could come from a place like that.

We spent two nights in Siena, with one day spent on a vineyard tour of Tuscany in the Chianti region.

Siena was a great small city that could easily be done in one day/night, but since we were doing the wine tour I am glad we stayed for two.

:: WHERE WE STAYED ::

Our friends had gone to Italy the year before and had recommended the Hotel Athena because of its gorgeous views.

It is located on the outskirt of the center of the city (but Siena is so small that by “outskirt” I mean it was a 5 minute walk if that to Il Campo (center square) and even less of a walk to the Duomo so still in the heart of it all).

The views from the hotel were simply gorgeous. Stunningly beautiful and so quiet and peaceful.

These are the views from their restaurant/bar rooftop area.

I loved walking around and strolling Siena.

Cars cannot drive in many parts of the city, and so you basically stroll little walkways up and down little hills. It was so quaint and picturesque.

The first day we climbed the City Tower in Il Campo after checking in and dropping off our things.

Then we wandered around, and to reward ourselves for our hike up a million stairs, we had cocktails outside the Duomo.

Then, why stop there, cocktails on our rooftop bar with the gorgeous views.

We saw a sign for a restaurant Va Vine not far from our hotel that said “come inside and see our views” so we ate on their back patio which was gorgeous and then when it got dark and the views disappeared was romantic with twinkle lights and candles. This was one of the few places the whole trip where the waiters did not speak english, but it was easy enough to order and the food was spectacular.

We had fried zucchini and calamari, pasta dishes, wonderful steak, and ended with tiramisu that was to die for.

The next day we went to The Duomo right when it opened, and if you pay 2 Euro you can walk straight up to counter and get a skip-the-line pass. We walked straight in, and we were the first handful of people to go in that day so it was nice and quiet.
This was one of my favorite places that we saw in all of Italy.
It rivals the Duomo in Florence with its beauty : STRIPES.

We strolled Il Campo and grabbed a bite on the square before heading back to the hotel for our Chianti and Castles Tour.

For the vineyard and castle tour, it was a group of 6 of us and we went to 2 vineyards and 2 castles.
I do not drink red wine….. ummm ever. Like, never. But it was still fun 🙂
There were older ladies that didnt drink red either and they would drink the tiniest sip and pour the rest in the bucket and I was like ARE YOU CRAZY? DRINK IT! YOU JUST SAW IT IN A BARREL! YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE GRAPES!
I mean….. sometimes I worry about people.

So for those of you that love Chianti, FUN FACT: it is only a real Chianti if is has the *black rooster* on the label, otherwise it is an IMPOSTER.
The second winery had a smokin’ hot George Clooney type Italian man leading the tasting and I really wanted to make Kip get a picture of him, but instead I silently stared at him while I pretended to just LOVE the different types of Chianti (every time the cheapest one tasted the best to me) and ate the 25 aged balsamic with cheese.
The balsamic. was. the. best. thing. ever.

Later that night we walked to a random little pizza place to eat and there happened to be a big race (about a half of a marathon) going on so we sat outside and ate as runners came and went. There was a big cookout with tables set up too, but we couldn’t figure out how or if we were allowed to join in 🙂 All of the “roads” are stone and on hills – I seriously have NO idea how they were doing it. We had cocktails and saw the final racers making their way down to the finish and it was fun to see the locals and the children cheering everyone on as they ate their ice cream. It was very much an italian moment that we were so lucky to stumble upon.

Let the pictures begin !

Right after dropping of our bags, we climbed the tower to get views of all of Siena and the Tuscan hillside

so sweaty.

The unreal views from our hotel. This was more beautiful than any views from towers!

Day two, we went to the Duomo.

It was so gorgeous. The stripes took my breath away!

The back part of the Duomo that we walked past constantly on our walk to-and-from the hotel to the Campo had these gorgeous, gigantic doors that I loved.

First stop on the tour, one of the castles in the distance

At our first winery

see the black rooster!?

the second winery (with Italian George and the killer balsamic) had the most beautiful views!

Even if only for one day and night, I definitely recommend making a stop in Siena. It was such a wonderfully quaint Midieval town and different from anywhere else we went in Italy.

Day One :

Climbed the Tower
Lots of strolling, shopping, up and down the little roads
Day Two :

The Duomo

Chianti and Castles Tour : Two Vineyards and Two Castles

Logistics:

Everything here was so simple and easy to manage.
You will need to take a cab from the train station. There is a little cab light straight out from the station but be prepared to wait for a cab, they come slowly one at a time. It was a cheap ride, less than 10 Euro.
Food Recommendations
from friends that we never made it to:

*
Osteria Baccon Del Prete or Osteria Cice

reservation required for both – have the concierge call

*La Taverna di San Diuseppe

Our favorite meal of our entire trip
(and there were a LOT of meals!) was at La Taverna di San Giuseppe in Siena.
There was a savory chocolate pasta dish that I’m still thinking about 4 years
later. It’s in a beautiful cave like setting too.  

And incase you missed previous Italy Posts:

Packing for 2 Weeks In Italy