pretty sure yolanda would have carried david home on her back and done ANYTHING for him if the roles were reversed, but what do I know, he probably had a meeting with Babyface so she totes understands???  


at least Yolandas ‘Health Advocate’ cares for her…… but wait… her Health Advocate is kinda giving me the heebie jeebies.  Bring back gig’s ex-boyfriends mom for support, she was cute and normal and way more fun. 


I am soooo confused by Kyle and Wedding-gate. 
I mean I knew everything was crap between Kyle and Kim but who knew it was with Kathy too.

How messed up is it to be like “your one daughter is a flower girl, and another daughter is coming too, but not the other girls, not you, and not your husband.” WTF? 
like, yeah go drop your 5 year old off in London and come back and pick her up when she gets tired of the reception.  Mmmmmmokay.  I really wanna know whats going on here.
But clearly not as much as VANDERPUMP does.
Uggghhhhh.  Episode 2, Round 2 of me being like ENOUGH ALREADY.
(and don’t even get me started on Ken being a total bitch about Kyle and her mumus to start the episode…. what husband sits in his wife closet making snarky and bitchy and gossipy comments. I. literally. can’t. with. him. He’s seriously a bigger bitch than any of them.)

BUT I DIGRESS……..
no one wanted to find out more information about the wedding invite being on and then off and then on again more than Lisa.  who cares that her daughters are all at the dinner table and they guests on this vacation, lets keep digging and twisting.

kyle says we’ll talk it about it later LOCK IT UP to lisa more than once, but it isn’t enough.  
it takes her poor daughter having to say it too for her to stop.

Ugh she make me CRAZY. 


okay and one more comment, Amy B.(a  lovely reader who sends me the best emails) sent me a story speculating if Yolanda is Poor or Rich Poor since all of this sickness and divorce stuff. 
a snippet : 

Not only did I laugh rull hard at the above,
 I read a part about David’s kids being on a VH1 show nobody watches and I was like waaiiiiiit a minute

I had no idea the blonde girls that Nicole Richie hangs out with were his kids.
Mind. Blown. 
And I call myself a blogger who claims to know everything about useless infomrmation no else cares about?! I mean, I am mortified.  If I can’t say I am an expert on useless crap, I don’t even know who I am. 


:: Kris Jenner’s Next Money Maker is Born :: 
Kimye had their baby boy and named him Saint.
I have always thought that Kanye RUNS SHEYITE in that relationship…… I just can’t possibly imagine it any other way – he’s such a lunatic – and my first thought when I heard “Saint” was that he must have been like “THIS IS THE NAME” and Kim is too embarrassed to be like “UM I dated a celeb football player on The Saints for a gazillion years and it was highly publicized but OK, Saint it is.”

Kanye would be appalled, like “is that you in a JERSEY? and A T SHIRT?
and A BASEBALL CAP????  MY EYESSS”
but really these names are just awful.
Even Apple sounds normal now. 
By the time I have a baby I’m just naming him/her “Croughnut” or something, so instead of stupid lines like Kris Jenner being like “Aw he’s such a Saint (tongue in cheek haha)” I can be like “Yes, my baby is as sweet and delicious as an actual Croughnut.”
hashtag respect.


and in case you still need to get some last minute Christmas shopping in,
check out all of the Kardashian Gift Guides here
Kim recommends the $1,000 Kanye West Weekender Bag for the man in your life. 

because every man that carries a $1,000 bag wears oversized camo tee shirts. 
yep. those rich boys look just like that man in the picture above.  
    
:: Vanderpump Rules ::
This show is just FILTHY.  
I honest feel like an 80 year old Grandma watching it because my jaw is on the floor, and then I talk out loud at the television in astonishment at the things coming out of their mouths.

(see last months Coffee Talk  about the Lost Children of Rockdale County to comprehend the extent of Crabs and Syphillis and Who Knows What Other Diseases these ‘servers’ are passing around). 
lisa, you need more than large derby hat to protect yourself from you own employees, but nice try. 

I just still REALLY can’t wrap my head around these girls sleeping with James, let alone doing what they did to him with the scratches and stuff.
Like, even all of these skinny betches outweigh him.  He is 100 pounds soaking wet. 

ALSO, how hilarious/pathetically sad was it to see Kristin at Sur on Gay Pride Day trying to get in the STAFF PHOTO!? like, WHAT?  did you forgot to take your crazy pills today?! 

:: WWHL ::
sooooooo then Kristin is on WWHL (with a black eye and puffy lip post reconstructive surgery.  I am NOT buying the “fell out of an uber story” whatsoever)
and who is in the audience that came to the show with her?
STASSI.  

these people not only have all kinds of messed up sexual relationships with anyone and everyone, it clearly extends to all aspects of their lives.
I’m preeeetttyyy sure you two have had physical altercations and Stassi made you’re life a living hell, but, whatever BFF’s now.


:: MERCI ::
there is a commercial that I first saw whilst watching SNL
and it is SO BAD that I literally thought it was an SNL Commercial Short or something

kyle is living the life with mauricio and her family,
 and then we talk about Kim and everything goes to crap for her.  

ugh.  I really feel all the feels for kyle about everything involving her sister.    


and finally, 
(because we haven’t been introduced to the 2 new blonde train wrecks yet …. and lets be honest…. even if they grow on us as the season passes, they always start out as just complete hot messes that try too hard …. we’ll see if I’m right (spoiler alert: I will be….. and then somehow I’ll love them….)) 


so finally, Yolanda. 
to be shallow and vain and honest with you, it really isn’t the same without the fabulous house tucked amongst the lemon trees and a walk in refrigerator. 
it’s just not.  but obviously I can’t say that because dammit thats not whats important here! have a heart!
but Yolanda is back, with the Lyme disease getting worse, and I feel just awful for her!! 
I meannnnn I think it goes without saying that the news of her divorce from David announced right before the premiere was shocking.  did not see that one coming. 
so yolanda has been trying all different treatments all over the world and not getting any better, and basically from what it seems getting worse. 
she decides to try to make an appearance at Rinna’s birthday party.
she goes, and Vanderpump just starts in with her awful-ness right away! 
oh – and I forgot, prior to this, she is already making comments acting like “something fishy is going on” with Yolanda’s lyme disease, implying she is lying or faking somehow. 

You better watch yourself, Girl!!! 
and Vanderpump doesn’t stop.