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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

health, Lifestyle, recipe

:: Favorite New Workout + Spaghetti Squash Chow Mein ::

May 23, 2017

:: Favorite New Workout + Spaghetti Squash Chow Mein ::

By far, the biggest request I have been getting lately is for more health and fitness posts.
I have definitely made 2017 my year of trying to get serious about my workouts and branching out more in the kitchen with healthy recipes.  Anything to keep my weekend indulgences!

I saw this recipe when my friend posted it on snapchat, and I e-mailed her immediately for the recipe!  Who doesn’t love those asian noodle meals loaded with sauce and veggies?  But they are always filled with preservatives and GMO and OMG who knows what else.  Swap out the noodles for spaghetti squash and make all of the ingredients fresh and clean and you get all of the flavor without any of the guilt!  I also love a meal that I can eat large portions of, and this is definitely it!
It’s packed full of veggies and keeps you full with the added protein from the chicken.
I have seen similar recipes but they all require much more work – the bag of frozen veggies makes this SUCH an easy thing to whip together, and the leftovers are great for work the next day.

Save Print
:: Spaghetti Squash Chow Mein ::
Author: Taylor :: The Sarcastic Blonde
Recipe type: Healthy Dinner
Cuisine: Asian
 
A healthy take on take-out Chow Mein
Ingredients
  • One large spaghetti squash
  • Chicken breast, I used about 1 pound
  • 1 tablespoon of siracha
  • 2 tablespoons of soy sauce (or coconut aminos)
  • 1 large glove of garlic
  • 2 tablespoons of fresh grated ginger
  • 1 frozen veggie mix (corn, peas, carrots and green beans)
  • coconut oil (can use canola instead)
  • salt/pepper to taste
Instructions
  1. cook spaghetti squash (I cut it length wise, put it face down in a dish with some water and microwave until its soft and then scrape out the inside)
  2. saute sliced chicken in oil, salt and a little soy sauce until cooked through
  3. separately combine garlic, ginger and oil on low, and cook until fragrant
  4. add frozen veggies to garlic and ginger mixture and cook until thawed
  5. add spaghetti squash, soy sauce and siracha to veggie mixture. Cook on medium, covered for 3-5 minutes.
  6. Add chicken breast and serve.
3.5.3226

this recipe was emailed by a friend
so if you know an original source let me know so I can give credit! 

:: FITNESS UPDATE :: 

One of my 2017 Intentions was to try a new workout class each month.
We are in month 5 and I think technically I have been to 5 new-to-me studio since then!  (I have worked very hard at climbing out of my workout-shell…. I used to never go to any class alone, but I have lost my Chicago workout buddies, so now I am venturing out and embarrassing myself in front of large groups of strangers regularly!)

This month I went to a class that I have been wanting to try for months and luckily is on ClassPass (although the class times are limited because spots in prime time AM and PM fill up quickly!)
It’s an Atlanta studio (sorry non-locals!) called Sculpthouse, which is a class that is half Megaformer/Pilates machine and half cardio on a Curve Treadmill.


Needless to say, it is quite the stylish space.  The aesthetics of it are incredible and it doesn’t look like any other workout studio or gym I have been in.  The changing area alone looks like something out of a boutique!  And they also have quite the large storefront with tons of cute workout clothes.  Prices are just slightly above my favorites from Old Faithful Navy, and by slightly, I mean largely.  But the browsing while waiting for class is really fun and they did have a good sale section!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t there to shop, but rather to get my ass kicked.
And get my ass kicked I did!   I always have a hard time (i.e. ramble, and ramble big time) describing a workout class so I found a review to help.

This article (from one of my favorite health + wellness sites, Well + Good)
summarizes the studio and what it is all about:
“Sculpthouse is the only studio that combines the uber-trendy Megaformer with a treadmill (an NFL-approved Woodway Curve one, at that) for a seriously intense workout—think Barry’s Bootcamp for the Pilates-on-crack obsessed. Founded by SLT veteran Katherine Mason, the high-end studio in Buckhead offers both interval classes and classic Megaformer sessions—either way, you’ll be leaving with trembling abs and limbs. The studio’s also a boutique that sells the hottest activewear (Koral, Michi, and Terez, among others) and natural post-gym beauty essentials from Tata Harper and Soapwalla (and more), so you can get your fitness and fashion taken care of in one chic locale.”

For my first class, the instructor put me in the middle of the Megaformers so that I would have people to my left and right to watch and follow along.  She also did a a great job helping correct me during the 25 minute portion of the moves.  It’s all about super slow and controlled movements and you can definitely feel them the next day!

Thank goodness the instructor had me start on the Megaformer.  She said if I did the treadmill first I could be too exhausted for the Pilates based portion {and she was definitely correct.}  These Curve treadmills have no motor and they are powered entirely by you and your body weight.  And WOW is it a much harder running workout.  For the treadmill portion of class, you follow a TV screen that leads you from Level 1 to Level 4 and it’s very easy to follow.  Let’s just say Orange Theory made me feel like I was actually a runner, BLAST made me feel like I was a jogger/runner, and Sculpthouse slapped some sense back into me and made me feel like an amateaur jogger.  But in the best way.  It is such a harder workout without the motor.  I would start to move forward when slowing down and my feet hitting that spot would actually make it go faster and I’d be thinking NO IM TIRED! SLOWER! AH! But they are perfectly easy to use.  When I was walking to my car after class I felt like I was still walking as if I was on the curve (aka looked like a straight up lunatic).

By the end of the class, I was drenched in sweat.  And I loved it.  Even though I hate not knowing what I’m doing and it can be a little embarrassing, this is worth it.  I think it is such a unique combination of toning and cardio and a great way to switch things up and keep your body guessing.
They do have different types of classes that can be more whole body or more focused on certain parts, but I have just been taking whatever is available on ClassPass which has been total body and I like it! 

I have read some mixed reviews about the classes, with people saying its hard to follow and not for everyone.  I can understand these critiques, because the instructor names all of these crazy positions and I have no idea what shes talking about.  But I think you just need to be comfortable not knowing in the beginning, and tell the people next to you that you are going to stare at them to copy them like I did (you know…. so as not to be a total creep, warn them of your staring in advance!) and then it’s much easier.  I only have 2 classes under my belt but honestly staring at people was easy enough for me to follow along even when the teacher wasn’t doing a demo.

Sorry for those of you not in Atlanta that don’t have this studio! Hopefully you just skipped over! 

I know I still haven’t posted a Food Journal that you all keep asking for,
so I’m hoping to have that as my next Tone It Up Tuesday post!
  I figure maybe after Memorial Day weekend?  That way I can post my 3 days of healthy meals from the previous week and be a complete and utter hypocrite because I will have just eaten everything in sight and drank my face off for 3 days?
Sound like a plan? Mmmmk great! 

Any new workout classes you recommend?
Or amazing healthy recipes to try!? Let me know! 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
fashion, Lifestyle, weekend recap

:: Statement Jewelry + Weekend Recap ::

May 22, 2017

:: Statement Jewelry + Weekend Recap ::


I hope you all had a great weekend!
We had Kip’s mom and stepdad in town for the weekend so it was a busy one!

I “made” one of my favorite appetizers from Trader Joe’s to have with cocktails before dinner.
It’s a cheesy pinwheel pastry thing, and let me tell you,, this thing is so freaking good.

(I always have to bake it for twice the amount of time the box recommends, just a heads up! It always says 25-30 minutes and mine is always more like 50 for some reason!)

Friday night we went to Gypsy Kitchen for dinner.
You may remember we went with friends a few weeks ago, but due to a severely drunk waiter and him serving gluten to our celiac disease table we had to leave!
Kip and I were excited to go back and try the food and I can happily say we had a great experience and loved it!  And our waitress was amazing so that helped too 🙂

We shared tons of amazing dishes since it is tapas style.  I would recommend the sangria, a large charcuterie plate, the chickpea pancake, the fried chicken, pan con tomate (their version of a bruschetta), and the chorizo!

What I wore : WHITE DRESS runs large  // HEELS just sold out 🙁   //  EARRINGS
I love this earrings! They were a total steal from Francesca’s!
They always have buy one get one 50% off too!

Saturday we went to brunch at South City Kitchen which was also incredible!
Their patio is so nice because it is covered with a clear ceiling in case it were to rain and it also has those misters to keep you cool on the hot 90+ degree days!

Their pimento cheese and crab toast were incredible.  I am not a crab person, so I was just going to try a tiny little bite, and these toasts were insanely good!  Everyone loved their dishes and the feel of the place.

After brunch we drove around through the pretty streets of Buckhead and went to check out Restoration Hardware.

OUTFIT : ONE SHOULDER TOP // NECKLACE // JEANS // SANDALS

The Restoration Hardware in Chicago at the Three Arts Building is absolutely gorgeous, and has the most incredible delicious (and beautiful) restaurant in the center of it.  Their cheeseburger is truly to die for!
The Restoration Hardware here did not disappoint, but there isn’t a bar or restaurant at this one!
The whole place is gorgeous and the outdoor space off every. single. room. was incredible.  Definitely worth strolling through on a pretty day!

This chair was not my favorite aesthetically, but when I tell you it was the most comfortable thing I have ever sat in, I am not exaggerating at all.
I want to sleep in this instead of our king size bed.  And I love our bed!
I

It gave us grandiose ideas for patio furniture when our new deck is finished….. but unfortunately I don’t think we’ll be purchasing any outdoor sofas from them 🙂
thank you all for your IKEA patio furniture recommendations on instagram! Who knew!?
do any of you have the wicker furniture and what are your thoughts?! 

To wrap up the weekend of extremely unhealthy eating, I figured why stop now
and made my overnight breakfast casserole for us to have Sunday morning before they headed back to Chicago.

It was a great weekend overall, and other than a huge downpour Sunday morning, the weather was perfect.

I wanted to share a few of my favorite pieces of jewelry lately.  I don’t change my jewelry up constantly, so when I find something different and wear it on repeat, I know I really, really love it.
This necklace that I wore over the weekend is a particular favorite!

ONE SHOULDER TOP // NECKLACE

It is such a versatile necklace that I’ve already worn with dresses, jeans, you name it!  You would think it would be heavy and uncomfortable, but it is perfect.  It is such a lightweight necklace for how large it is!


// TORTOISE SHELL NECKLACE // 

If tortoise shell isn’t your thing, what is wrong with you?, they have plenty of other statement necklaces to drool over!
The exact one above comes in a dual shade as well!

// COLOR BLOCK LINK NECKLACE //

I love these solid color link necklaces, too. 

// LINK NECKLACE // 

Two beautiful ombre versions – I of course am partial to the blue!

// OMBRE LINK NECKLACE //

And some adorable double strands with cute ribbon detailing. 

// DOUBLE STRAND LINK NECKLACE // 

This last necklace is a bit of a departure from the link necklaces above, but it is so fun and has bits of everything good: gold, tortoise shell, turquoise, tassels, and more!

// TASSEL NECKLACE // 

and one more on a totally unrelated note:
how stinking cute are these pineapple earrings!!??


// PINEAPPLE EARRINGS // 

Happy Monday Everyone! I hope you have a great start to the week!
I can’t believe it is already Memorial Day Weekend next weekend!
This year has FLOWN BY.

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
fashion

:: Saturday Shopping : Shoes You Can Walk In::

May 20, 2017

:: Saturday Shopping : Shoes You Can Walk In::


I love heels.  What girl doesn’t?
But I am definitely not the best at walking in 4+ inch stilletos.
The last time I was in Vegas, Kip had to piggy-back me from my sisters hotel room to ours at about 4 AM because I literally couldn’t walk anymore.

In my defense, we had to change elevator banks and everything….. it was quite the walk… it definitely wasn’t from a night of dancing and having too much fun…..
My feet felt like they were being chopped into tiny bits and pieces.
Ah, Vegas.  I love you.  I miss you. Good times. 

I love when the weather warms up and I can wear more wedges, and I am a huge fan of a stacked heel or anything that makes it more comfortable to wear until the wee hours without wanting to die. (of course, these were not the smart choices I make when wearing heels for 8 hours in Vegas and doing like 20,000 steps a day….. I just had to pick the pair that made me the tallest and made my legs look the best.  Obviously.)

The lesson here: Don’t be like me.
Don’t make your husband carry you like a child on his back
because you have lost all feeling from your calf down.

Be smart!
And wear better shoes like the ones below!
So that you can still stay up until 4 AM dancing!
but you can walk like a lady and feel your lower extremities!

A few casual more casual options; love the cork and straw wedges.


ONE    //   TWO   //   THREE   //   FOUR

Can never have enough blush!

ONE    //   TWO

My absolute favorite is when they have a wooden stacked heel!
How gorgeous are the scallops on the first pair!?


   ONE   //   TWO   //   THREE    //   FOUR    //   FIVE

And two options that are great to take you all the way through fall with the suede and peep toe!

ONE    //   TWO

 

Happy Saturday!! 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::

May 19, 2017

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::

Cheers to Friday!

So glad that this week has come to an end! I am a bit exhausted for some reason!
Kip’s parents are coming in for the weekend so we should have a great but busy weekend showing them around Atlanta and heading out for dinners.

It was a very productive week, capped off by dinner and drinks last night at one of our favorite casual spots down the street!
Kip got me to try this drink called a Paloma and it was delicious!
It’s like a grapefruit tequila soda with lime, and they serve it back in the soda bottle with a side of ice.

I managed to make it to a workout class every day this week, and even managed to wake up early to knock out two morning workouts which hasn’t happened in awhile.  It was so nice to not have to think about it after work!
My motivational podcasts actually paid off this week!  I found “The Good Life Project” and picked a few episodes of that and also two episodes of “The Sean Croxton Sessions”.   Juicy Scoop had 2 podcasts interviewing Kelly Osborne and I refuse to listen to anything with her.

and I totally woke up early happily!  Just like a ray of sunshine!  Just SO excited about an early start to the day!

I mean if you were to show this gif to my husband he would say this perfectly summarizes my feelings and attitudes and verbal communication skills on any given morning.
So to say I am proud of myself for waking up early TWO times is an understatement.

Wednesday I went to the dermatologist for my first Full Body Check.  I was terrified but it actually went much better than I had expected.  She only took a sample of one mole on my shoulder, and I had been anticipating several spots being a problem.

I know all it takes is one spot, but for now I’m just happy I went and I’m worry free until I get the results back next week!
The anticipation was definitely more nerve racking than the actual appointment + removal.

:: SOUTHERN CHARM ::
A sweet reader send me a Thomas Ravanel update on him and a new young lady in his life.
I clicked to the homepage of the website afterwards since I wasn’t familiar with it, and lo and behold there is an article about Eliza Morehouse’s father and his Baby Mama Drama.
So It looks like Thomas and his old buddy have lots in common with the Baby Mama’s!

:: FACE LIFT :: 
So apparently the interview happened in 2015, but KLG mentioned on the Today show this week that she uses a product Whitney Cummings had recommended called NuFace.

Have any of you heard anything about this?  Because Whitney Cummings may have a filthy mouth, but my goodness does she have some KILLER SKIN.
I’ve gotten some e-mails asking about my Tortoise Shell Tory Burch Sandals.
 
They were birthday gift from my mom last month; she hunted high and low and internet stalked for a long time to find them when I had said I was so sad they were sold out.  She has a gift. It’s crazy.  It came in very handy during Christmas’s when Uggs or something couldn’t be found anywhere; she really should start a service.
but I digress……. 
Tory Burch just came out with a similar print in the Miller Sandal in case you can’t find them!

:: LIGHT READING :: 

Bachelorette starts Monday! Get familiar with a breakdown of all of the contestants.
also, she is apparently engaged! 

I was going to blog about how this was TOTALLY going to be a break up today, and it’s official now! 
Because Becca went from posting pictures constantly with her boyfriend to ZERO.  She is so pretty I can’t help but insta-stalk her. 

All the looks from the Cannes Film Festival. 

A garden I would actually remember to water: How to make your own cocktail garden. 

It’s Pippa Middleton’s Wedding Weekend! Can’t wait to see pictures. 

What to sip and what to skip at Starbucks. 

Tricks for air drying your hair (which usually results in half straight half kinky/curly mayhem for me). 

Tinsley Mortimer’s Pimento Cheese Recipe.  I. love. Pimento. Cheese. 

The fact that Male Rompers is an article on CNN is very sad.  And if my husband ever puts one of these on we need to sit down and have a chat. 

4 Foods a Gut Doctor would never eat.  (never gonna happen, although I don’t like Coffee so that helps!) 

20 etiquette lessons every child should now.  I always love reading these things! 

:: LINK LOVE :: 

This suit  started my obsession with this print.  I just am so in love with it on ANY thing. Can someone lend me some money please so I can buy all of the dresses? 
Shoulder Tie Dress  // Garden Party Dress  // Cape Dress  //  Shirt Dress

I’ve debated getting this dress for the Italy Wedding.  I love the contrasting piping to the floral print so much. 

I don’t know what it is, the fresh white or the detailing, or just how unique it is, but I love this crossbody for summer. 

Yellow + a tie front are two of my favorite things right now for dresses! 

The top of this cocktail dress looks just like two of the dresses Bethenny wore in this weeks RHOBH, with the shoulder slit area exposed.  This one has a fun back as well! Great LBD. 
 
So many cute Rompers, all three under #$100 :
peach + tassels  //  bright pattern + pom details  //  double V in a beautiful blue + white
  
I love the fun color of this simple structured leather crossbody.  

The biggest trend in earrings, but in a bracelet! And under $50! I don’t know if I love the blue or the white more!  

This sweatshirt speaks the truth (as I type this with all the lights off and a snoring husband next to me; it’s way past bedtime!!) 
 
Not all woven totes are created equal.  This one, in equally adorable pink or blue, is proof.
and this tote, in four color options with a cute as heck tassel, is stiff competition. 
 
Calling all brides to be: the chicest looking wedding wedge I ever did see.  and 25% off! 
or anyone that wants a fancy white wedge!
This white strapless dress is gorgeous and would also be perfect for a pre-wedding festivity! 
 
I love the bodice and detailing on this maxi,; her clothes have been super cute lately! 
 
The perfect clutch for vacation.  Literally.  
 
I have been super into hair bows being in style.  This oversized black bow and this adorable large chambray bow make such a statement and really dress up a simple pony tail;  and I also love a small bow with a bolder print, like this striped bow or this gingham print.  Plus, the smaller bows make for much cuter hair ties on your wrist than a regular old elastic! It’s like having a double duty bracelet.

The eyelet design on this swim cover-up is too cute.  Just enough coverage + skin shown! 

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!!

 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
coffee talk

:: Coffee Talk 5.18.17 ::

May 18, 2017

:: Coffee Talk 5.18.17 ::

DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES……. 

:: LAST WEEK’S RHONY ::

I forgot to comment last week on “last weeks” RH of New York.  So Sorry!

So, on to last weeks episode!

I want to scream every time we enter into a scene in Carole’s apartment, because we all know we are about to witness nothing. And I love watching nothing, but not like this!  Carole and Adam are sitting in the what must be filthy and smell horrible apartment discussing their litter of cats and dog all named baby. “Baby baby baby, which baby did that? Uh it was baby. You never blame the original baby.”  SERIOUSLY?
End scene.  Literally.  That was it. She needs to give part of her paycheck to my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen and her BFF-Bethenny because there is NO reason for this girl to EVER remain on this show.
Also, (to be read in the voice of Joey from Friends saying “Look I’m Chandler, Could I BE wearing any more clothes”) :

Could there BE a more annoying name to give all 17 of your animals other than Baby?

Sonja is the kitchen preparing for who knows what…. cocktail hour?  She is putting absolutely hideous flowers into a vase and thankfully comments on how horrible they are, because at that moment I was really thinking Sonja had lost it.

They really were horrible. And then when I think all is right with Sonja, she pulls out the ice bin of the freezer to reveal a tub of straight up BROWN ICE CUBES.  Oh Sonja.  Those flowers are looking lovely now……

Dorinda really looks amazing this season.  I have always thought she looks great, but particularly this year. Even when they do a flashback to her from Real Housewives 2015 she even looks so much more amazing now.  What is her secret!?!

The highlight of the episode for me was Tinsley’s friend Anisha driving her mini dog down the sidewalks of New York in a children’s remote controlled Mercedes SUV.

Seeing that this is who Tinsley’s friends are puts her friendship with Sonja much more into perspective.

Oh crap! We’re back at freaking Carole’s apartment!

Her couch….. there truly are no words….. it is absolutely disgusting.  I wouldn’t even sit on that! Bethenny, Miss Queen B of Type A CEO of OCD says, regarding all of the rips and tears and shreds of fabric: “Yeah it looks great!  It looks totally intentional!”  EXCUSE ME? You were just OCD’ing over doll accessories for a 5 year old for an entire scene.

If this were ANYONE else other than Carole you would be having a heyday going on for 5 minutes in the “diary” part with sarcastic one liners destorying them.  She would be annihilating them with insults about it!
But yeah.  It looks “great” and “intentional”.

just came across this photo with an article about her OCD lunch packing and it just seems the perfect juxtapositon to Carole’s “great and totally intentional” apartment 

update: apparently she has removed the couch since filming and it having it recovered. Hallelujah! so I give it about a month until Baby Cubed/To the Fourth Degree destroys it again.

“Bethenny is an island” – okay Ramona.
Ramona has become so insane that it’s like she’s a caricature of herself?

The ladies head out for dinner and drinks.  Bethenny decides she will join this time.

Ramona to LuAnn “People are still placing bets as to if you’ll get married.”
Which she immediately follows up with “Why am I not invited to the wedding?”
Hmmmm….. let’s think on that one.
Then Ramotional does a 180 and goes from saying all of that to sqealing “Mrs. D’Agostino!!!” and doing a song and dance hugging her and saying she’s “really really really happy for” her.
I mean…. people say Sonja is crazy????
Oh wait….. nevermind.  Now Sonja is just straight up farting at the bar.

I see Carole with her phone in hand showing something and I know before she even speaks – I say outloud to my empty living room WONDER WHAT THAT IS! – knowing that it is freaking baby cubed videos (baby to the third or fourth degree? how many are there? I forget. Nor do I care.)

Ramona sits down next to Bethenny, right as Bethenny announces that she is leaving, and speaks to her in the most condescending asshole tone.  I feel like it was one of most obnoxious things I’ve seen Ramona do, which is really saying something (I know it will be trumped by her talking to Avery and all of Avery’s friends about being like Avery’s age and hanging out at Avery’s college and being all young and youthful with Avery!!!!)
But I digress….. it was quite the bitchy moment for Ramona.
I actually applaud Bethenny for the way she handled the situation, because Ramona was being a lunatic and I think I would have lost it.
She ends it with sitting on the sofa after Bethenny leaves doing all the spastic motions and crazy big eyes and eye twitches and “whatever okay whatever twitch twitch twitch” siting up moving spots and then acting drunk and teenagery.  (That is a sentence that I should delete because it makes no sense, but as Housewives fans I trust that you are picturing Ramona perfectly right now :D)

:: WWHL with MBFAC ::

Speaking of Ramona, did you catch her on WWHL last week? Talking about how she gained 15 pounds and that must be why she looks different/better.  She stands up and starts turning side to side rubbing her hands all over herself like “I don’t know how do I look how do I look what do you think how’s it look huh huh huh?” turning side to side – perfectly displaying the twitchy’ness described above – and just waiting for compliments.
UGH she makes me crazy. I’m shocked she didn’t follow it up with “Everyone thinks I look like Avery’s friends! They think I’m Avery’s age! Avery’s friends ask me for tips!”

:: BETHENNY on SHARK TANK ::

UM.  IS THIS TRUE? Because I am equal parts eye roll and equal parts super duper into it.  I love Shark Tank.  It is one of the few on our “mutually exclusive allowed TV shows” list!
Apparently A-Rod is another guest shark.  So maybe when they say ‘Guest Shark’ it only means an episode or two? Not that she will be filling in for Lori or anything?

:: DINA MANZO’S BURGLARY ::

Dina Manzo, previously on Real Housewives of New Jersey, went home after Teresa’s daughters first communion over the weekend and her and her boyfriend walked into their home being burglarized! They were beaten and bound during the burglary and had to go to the hospital.

:: RH of OC :: 
Kelly Dodd is CONFIRMED for next season.
This excites me greatly.

There was just so much Housewives gossip to discuss this week! Thank goodness I still haven’t seen the Atlanta Reunion thing that everyone is talking about or else this Housewives gossip would never end.

(I don’t watch Atlanta but hope to watch part 4 of reunion because I just have to see what all of this fuss is about!!

:: BEN AND LAUREN ::
Break out the tissues.  Ben and Lauren announced this week “with heavy hearts” that the engagement was over.

Another one bites the dust for the Bachelor franchise.
I wonder when the relationsip actually ended? Because they had their awful spin-off, and then earlier in May were doing a Disney Fairy Tale Weddings special, and now the Bachelorette premieres next week.
So seems like this was just the perfect time to announce – the week between Fairy Tale Wedding and Bachelorette premiere.

No surprise, Lauren has already announced her plans to move back to LA and pursue modeling.

:: SOUTHERN CHARM ::
I loved this weeks episode so much.
We start with Kathryn doing what she does best this season, driving in her car by herself, either calling someone to say they are in the neighborhood or just stopping by their house because she is in the neighborhood.
This weeks lucky recipients : JD and Elizabeth,  the Godparents who are just DYING to be on television since being demoted as main players. Kathryn is their only hope, and man will they run with it!

Kathryn enters in a skin tight white dress (don’t worry! not another Herve Leger! Just a skin tight white dress!) and her hair in two Pippy Longstocking buns on either side of her head with a bouffant teased rull high on top.  Let that soak in.  And then…. that huge thick black braided mesh choker.  A vision!
JD makes sure to dress for the occasion as well, repping his Gentry Bourbon vest.

Kathryn can’t understand why she wasn’t invited to Jennifer’s Sip and See? All she did was completely ignore that her friend just gave birth to a baby that had to have immediate brain surgery, not ask about how him or her were doing, and instead treat her like crap for accepting an hanky from Thomas.

Kathryn states how she can’t believe she would invite Thomas and not her and how dare she! Elizabeth doesn’t even know what to say, knowing how quickly Miss Kathryn can spiral into craziness, and not wanting to ruin her meal ticket, so she just sighs and turns to JD like HALP HALP HALP.

Jennifer just keeps listening with big eyes, doing deep sympathetic sighs, and saying “wow” “oh, wow”.  Well played Jen, how can she gets pissed at that?

“In a perfect world we’d be able to do things together, but I don’t really know how to navigate his ……….” hand gesturing and incompletion on sentence.
His what? I’m not saying Thomas is perfect, but his what?
You don’t know how to navigate his extension of a hanky to a pregnant woman crying over her unborn sons health issues?
Riiiiiiiight.
 
Shep is taking the gang quail hunting!
This store that Whitney and Shep are at buying the hunting clothes at looks like about as expensive and designer as hunting can get.  Whitney is literally dressed in like cashmere vests with leather detailing, and then Craig call’s from Dick’s Sporting Goods to ask about boots.  I laughed so freaking hard. It just was perfect timing.

“Part of hunting is looking good” – Whitney.  No, no it isn’t but go do your catwalk!
I did really appreciate the “puts the douche in fiduciary” joke from Shep….. like, laughed out loud. Don’t judge.

Hashtag Carpenter Craig is at home talking to Gizmo…. again… when Naomi gets home from a full day of adulting.  Craig continues to act as though he has done NOTHING wrong and doesn’t even want to deal with talking to her because “he has work to do” and she was “out of control”.  What work is that Craig?

We cut to Patricia on her patio.   I am just so disappointed in her.  Isn’t the whole point of being this rich southern socialite for us to see you and your life as something we low life commoners cannot ever attain but aspire to?

Last week it’s your caftan.   This week it’s her iPad or iPhone holder WHILE in the caftan.  It’s like a furry stuffed animal that my nephews iPad sits in.  WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD?
Also….. my eyes are adjusting …… this is a different caftan than seen previously
This is like a dog with Crazy Ramona Eyes, even creepier than the initial caftan of Chauncey’s face.
 
I am cracking up that Thomas can’t go on the group trip hunting because of his felony.  Kip was home and actually half way watched while working this week and explaining this show to him was hilarious.
The hunting trip has arrived, and Whitney has his Louis Vuitton bag all packed next to his probably $1200 hunting boots.  They were gorgeous.
 Craig arrives on the trip not in his designer hunting duds, but in a neon frat tank top.  Spot on.  They also had to stop at Wal-Mart to get Craig a new pair of boots because he forgot his. This is even better than the Dick’s thing this is killing me.

Shep is ready to go with his monogrammed mahogany gun, and Craig heads out in his Wal-Mart boots and a bright orange construction worker vest, and Whitney walks out in his $5,000 ensemble.  I love this so much. This episode is pure gold to me.
OH. and there’s more.
LANDON IS IN WHITE JEANS. SERIOUSLY???
With like a designer fedora and scarf?? I mean, do you think you are at a castle on Ladies of London right now?
Chelsea looks cute and normal, and I actually love Austen’s sweater.
Luckily, they catch some quail and Craig BARELY misses killing a dog by shooting the qual when it’s like knee level right next to the poor dog.  He also has a huge cut/bruise on his cheek so something equally as amazing happened and they must have missed getting that gem on camera.  So it was a successful hunt.
They have dinner and it’s all about the love triangle around Chelsea and Austen and Shep and Landon.
After the hunt the highlight was watching them wake up hungover in morning and Craig dropping his deoderant while trying to put it on and having the reaction time of a just-fed baby.  I’m telling you….. pure gold.
They show a preview of what is to come later this season and unfortunately my DVR cut off right when they showed Kathryn in her black lipstick, but the freeze frame ending on that made me not even care to hear what she said.

HAVE I SAID THAT THIS EPISODE WAS GREAT???!!! BECAUSE IT WAS GREAT.

:: BAD NEWS FOR CARPENTER CRAIG ::
So apparently Craig has found himself in some hot water this week.  A guy is suing him for hitting him when he was riding his bike years ago.  Check out the story here.

This happens all the time coming out of Chicago alleys.  You can’t see anything so you honk your horn. You wait and honk and slowly inch out.  It’s pretty simple. This biker’s as moron. He was also at night with no lights or anything.
I feel like Craig did absolutely nothing wrong (for once) and clearly the person wasn’t injured and nothing happened and now two years later he is trying to sue?  Break out that law degree Craig! (CRAIG HAS PASSED THE BAR!!!) Time to PROVE YO SELF.

:: SOUTHERN CHARM SAVANNAH ::

I just don’t know that I can comment on this show…. I want to… so I am still debating.  I think I would be commenting on every single solitary thing that happens because so much of it just drives me NUTS and where is the fun in that?
What do all of you think about the show?
I don’t even know where to start……
Ashley is the worst.
Okay so I know where to start……

 Editors Note :
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE   #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snaochats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day, and likely won’t do the next day either.  Or the day after that.
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
fashion

:: Dresses in all Budgets : Wish List Wednesday ::

May 17, 2017

:: Dresses in all Budgets : Wish List Wednesday ::


Today we’re just going to do a ton of my favorite thing : DRESSES.
Nothing else.  25+ pretty dresses and that’s it.
You would think I have 70 weddings coming up, but really it’s only four : ) 

and spoiler alert: my favorites are the following ,which are all under $150! 

:: UNDER $50 ::

// FLORAL OFF THE SHOULDER //



// STRAPPY FIT AND FLARE //

// LACE ONE SHOULDER // 

:: UNDER $100 ::

// LACE SHIFT DRESS // 

// LACE MIDI DRESS // 

// CORAL DROP WAIST // 

// AMAZON PRINT BLOUSON DRESS // 

:: UNDER $150 ::

// FIT AND FLARE // 

// TIERED BLOUSON DRESS // 

// GRAPHIC MIDI DRESS // 

 // SCALLOPED HEM FIT + FLARE // 

// STRIPED MIDI DRESS // 

// CHIFFON ONE SHOULDER // 

// GINGHAM BELTED FIT + FLARE // 


// LACE CAPLET // 


// FLORAL SURPLICE DRESS // 

:: $150 and up ::


// FLORAL FIT AND FLARE //


// STRIPED FLORAL GOWN // 

well look at me! I’m a liar!
ONE skirt. Then all dresses 🙂 

// FLORAL BALL SKIRT // 

// FLORAL MINI DRESS // 

// PLEAT MINIDRESS // 


// LASER CUTOUT MIDI // 


// FLORAL MAXI // 

:: and THREE FAVORITE LILLY OPTIONS ::

//   ONE    //   TWO   //   THREE   //

HAPPY DRESS SHOPPING 🙂 

 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
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Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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