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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

December 4, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves….. 
     

:: RHOBH :: 
Lisa Rinna is the best thing to ever happen to RHOBH.
She is just honest and does not give a damn. 
She’s like 
“That Depends Commercial was the best thing I ever did! They paid me so much!” 
“I met my husband when I thought he was married to Nicolette Sheridan.
Turns out, she had just left him! for Michael Bolton!! 
{she’s grinning ear to ear}
I. love. her. 
She is so happy and smiley.
 Someone must have really done something to elicit this later in the season. 

:: VanderPump Rules :: 
Quote of the episode Spoken by Jax, in reference to him and Tom, while looking at Jax’s plastic surgeon
  “I mean we are the two straightest guys I know, and that is one good looking man.
He must just get all the ladies.”

omg the forehead shaving and hair straightening.  #neverforget

:: Master Chef :: Juniors :: 
I caught an episode of Master Chef : Juniors this week and was practically crying for these kids!!! I would have been bawling my eyes out every 2 seconds as a a 28 year old woman and they stood there and held themselves together in the face of crazy pants Gordon Ramsay!!??  

Seriously every scene I was thinking “and now I would be crying…. oh my gosh I would have left already, crying….” and then, to confirm I am a weak pathetic human, my husband says “ha, if this was you, you would be crying so hard!!”
I am so sad.  But seriously, their parents should be ashamed of themselves for letting their kids be subjected to week after week of Gordon Ramsay, the man who makes all grown men cry. 
but he is a hell of a lot sweeter with the kids which is nice to see….. but still would scare the pants off me. 

Greatest News of the Week:  
Susan Boyle has her first boyfriend at 53. 
Go Girl!!! 

Are you so excited for her!!?? I am over the moon excited over this for some reason.
  She just seems as sweet as pie.  Go Susan. 
Shocking news :
Snooki got married, and it actually looked…. dare I say….. normal and pretty?

don’t worry, she had these shoes on all night so people knew it was still her.


Greatest Lie of the Week (else someone is taking crazy pills) :
Maria Shriver said she is “happy” her son is dating Miley Cyrus. 
I mean.  Honestly. Come on. 

ps. BREAKING NEWS.
I got my first mean blog comment!!! 

insert tune of barry manilow’s “looks like we made it” 

the funny thing is, it was on yesterdays post, where I seriously thought I was THE NICEST.  this person clearly has not been a reader of Coffee Talk if me telling the kardashians to put clothes on, calling taylor swift and ariana grande skinny, and posting a picture of lenny kravitz with a blanket scarf elicits this response : 
“You are such a hater! Insecurity rears its not so pretty head.”
ha. ummmmm I think you stumbled into the wrong part of the internet. 

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  

#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.



by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Related Posts

  • :: Coffee Talk 2.8.18 ::
  • :: Coffee Talk :: 11.9.17 ::
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previous article: wishlist wednesday :: enough already.
next article: things.

Comments

  1. Brittney Haynie says: December 4, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    You know you've moved up in the world when you get your first blog hater comment! ha! Keep the Coffee talk posts coming… They make my morning! 🙂

  2. Lauren says: December 4, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    I'm going to need you to send me the link to that last Karen Walker gif so I can blast it to all my friends… 🙂

  3. Bri's Blog Journal says: December 4, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    RHOBH and VPR are my guilty pleasures. I seriously love them so much. Lisa Rinna joining is the icing on the cake. Do you torture yourself by watching Euros of Hollywood? It's so bad, but I still watch it.

  4. BLovedBoston says: December 4, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    I cant believe someone actually left you a mean comment – I think you are beyond hilarious!!! I still can't get over tom shaving his forehead – that is the weirdest thing EVER!

  5. Tess says: December 4, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    Mean comment? Girl – you've made it!!!!

  6. Kris M. says: December 4, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Awesome post,,so funny!!

  7. marisa says: December 4, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    HAHAHAHA LOVE it! haters gonna hate.

  8. Natalie says: December 4, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/12/04/23B9A18D00000578-2860141-image-m-5_1417675569834.jpghttp://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/12/04/23BC02F100000578-0-image-a-10_1417709794372.jpg

    This was Miley and Patrick's date last night…. your pic makes her look relatively normal but man she's off the deep end..

    • Natalie says: December 4, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      links (ugh)
      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/12/04/23BC02F100000578-0-image-a-10_1417709794372.jpg

      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/12/04/23B9A18D00000578-2860141-image-m-5_1417675569834.jpg

    • Taylor says: December 5, 2014 at 3:11 am

      oh my gosh I am SO happy you sent this to me and SO pissed I didn't have these pictures to use in the post. This is horrifyingly incredible.

  9. Ashley @ ladyacray.blogspot.com says: December 4, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Oh I'm so happy Susan Boyle has a boyfriend!!!

    • Terri says: December 8, 2014 at 7:21 pm

      Me too! She seems to sweet and lovely.

  10. Kelsey Lavicky says: December 5, 2014 at 5:03 am

    I came across your blog about 1.5 years ago and your coffee talk is my absolute favorite. I look forward to reading it every single week because you basically say all of the things I think in my head on a daily basis. Keep up the hysterics and to the mean commenter "haters gonna hate"

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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