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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

October 29, 2015

discuss amongst ya-selves……
  
:: HASHTAG I MISS DOROTA :: 
just felt like it……. 
K…… moving on…… 

:: NOW :: 
um.  I was watching TV last night (I don’t know why I need to even start a sentence with that…. obviously, what else would I be doing) and I saw a a commercial for NOW That’s What I call Music 56!! 
FEEF-TY-SEE-EEKS. 
Do these people know its 2015? We have 9,000 ways to listen to whatever song we want, whenever we want…..  Going and buying a CD generally isn’t the way it’s done anymore, and I’m not knocking it, but my guess is the people that are buying CD’s aren’t people looking to listen to the song “I can’t feel my face” by The Weekend, oh my bad no E, The Weeknd. 

:: hot guys gone cah-razy :: 
I don’t know if you follow me on instagram, but like a year back I posted this gem that I read in my Us Weekly.   because my jaw hit the floor when I read it. 
I mean…….seriously. 
why andrew keegan? You were EVERYTHING when we were tweens.  my teen beat was a constant battle to win your love or JTT’s!!! 
so, now he is expecting a baby and here is what he says.

“My beloved partner and I are excited to welcome a baby into our lives and our community,” the Party of Five alum and Full Circle Venice founder, 36, said in a statement to Us. “We look forward to embracing the sacred responsibility of parenthood as well as learning from this spirit.”
Keegan, who co-founded the spiritual center in Los Angeles, couldn’t be happier to become a dad. 
“Our intention is to raise our child in a co-creative environment where truth and love are foremost,” his statement continued. “We welcome your thoughts and prayers for this incubating life.”

STOP. IT. 
 HASHTAG I WANT TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL AT THIS ‘FULL CIRLCE’ FOR A DAY.
also, arena’s daughters boyfriend/luke wheelers son on nashville is totally the 2015 version of andrew keegan (but not as cute as andrew keegan was)
am I right? or am I crazy? 
AND I JUST GOOGLED TO FIND HIM AND GUESS WHAT HIS NAME IS? 
GUESS?! (OR READ BELOW)
……………………..
KEEAN. like keegan with no G. whaaaat ? coincidence??? 
:: RHOC Reunion Part II ::
 I mean, for how much has gone on, why do I feel like these reunions are still pretty crappy? This week was much better than last, but there was still a bunch of blah-de-blah thrown in there with only Vicki’s horrible dress displaying her OG of OC breasts to distract me. 
Here comes Mr. Personality, Jim ‘Jimmy’ Edmonds.  
my-boyfriend-andy-cohen introduces him with far more enthusiasm than any of the ladies. shocker. 
um, Jim, perhaps if you are trying to show that you DO care for your wife even slightly, maybe sit a little closer to her or make eye contact or SOMETHING. 
their dynamic on this reunion is just as painfully awkward, if not more, than it was all season.  Meghan, in all of your googling and researching did you not find out that these reunions are where you try to shut-it-down and show people how things really are how you WISH everything came across on TV.
they play the recap (“package”) of jimmy’s words and actions as everyone embarrassingly watches in the little corner on the left side of the screen and it’s so much worse seeing all of it back to back to back. 
cut to Jim…… 

jimmy sissy pants thinks “you get a portrayal of something that isn’t really you” when you’re on TV. 
ohhhhh is that it? 
what else could it be? 
“I was tired and annoyed” 
SERIOUSLY?
“I wasn’t ready for TV to catch everything.”
WHAT?
I don’t think I heard him say a single apology for how he treated or spoke to his wife, or even say anything remotely close. 
but don’t worry y’all….. he has heather there to remind us all of THE TRUTH.  
BECAUSE TV HAS BEEN LYING TO US. IT WAS ALL EDITING. 
 “jimmy’s the coolest guy ever”
OHHH!! thanks heather!!! thank goodness for you to clarify!! 
I can’t put it into words (I mean I can but I’m trying to be more positive it’s just too many), but Jimmy bugs me like no other housewife-husband. 
Well, other than Joe Guidice obvioiusly, because he takes the cake. 
Jimmy : “would I do anything differently?  probably be more aware of whats going on around me”
WTF? UGH YOU MAKE ME INSANE. 
SORRY IM NOT SORRY. 

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen directly asks Shannon what the viewers keep asking: 
 “don’t you think filming all this cheating/therapy stuff for the show is harmful for your children?”
she is like HELL TO THE NO I am “teaching them to fight for family and that family is most important”.  okay…… I can say more power to you on that (aka I couldn’t disagree more they are little girls they should be in la-la-land and unaware of all of this but whatevs) 
buutttttt can’t you choose to teach them to fight for family OFF camera?
I mean, I still like you, but you’ve really increased your crazy score each week. 
then breana comes out and its just like RUH-ROH sheeite’s gonna hit the fan! 
the stuff she says is going is so horrible + gross and vicki just sits there next to her?? 
side note : I believe all of it, do you? 
the only thing worse than what Breanna is saying Brooks said and did is Drama-obsessed-Tamra salivating, like, truly, on the edge of her seat listening to all of it and adding in her one line commentary every five seconds because she is getting high off the drama.  the only person more pathetic than Vicki is Tamra.  she will NEVER change. 

:: below deck :: 
leon abandons ship (see what I did there?), so, naturally, rocky strips her clothes off and jumps into the ocean then swims to a neighboring boat because she realizes she has nowhere else to go…… 

I want to go on and on about this weeks episode (and every week).
Rocky could very well be certifiably insane, but I laugh SO hard at her antics (as does Kipper) on the show that I SO BADLY welcome her crazy any week.  she is unbelievably nuts.  

 :: southern charm ::
when I think about, southern charm is truly one of the Bravo shows I miss the most when it isn’t on.  I miss Shep….. I miss Catherine…. I miss Whitney’s Mom…. but especially Cameron.
She gave an interview and it gave me hope that there will be a Season 3.
And reminded me that Catherine + T-Rav are pregnant with baby dos and I just NEED the two of them back on the small screen to watch all this. 

:: MAZEL :: 
because now I’m sentimental about all my off-air Bravo shows and I just feel like it….. 
god bless you janet. 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.



by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. BLovedBoston says: October 29, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    Andrew Keegan said "Incubating life" – I can't even deal!! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston

    • Taylor says: October 30, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      I know! He's acting like his religious group as whole is giving birth to the child not his wife it cracks me up!

  2. Lauren says: October 29, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    I NEED SOUTHERN CHARM. Seriously. It's the only reality TV show I watch (i know, know) and I NEED IT BACK IN MY LIFE. The only thing getting me through is that I follow (cough, stalk) all them on instagram…

    • Taylor says: October 30, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      oh my gosh thank you for that idea I need to be stalking them on instagram! what have I been doing?!

  3. The Danielson's says: October 30, 2015 at 3:18 am

    Are you watching "Ladies of London"? If not, you need to binge watch it this weekend… It's amazing!

    • Taylor says: October 30, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      YES! I love it – I can't believe I haven't talked about it on Coffee Talk yet!! Such a great show

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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