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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

April 18, 2013

discuss amonst ya-selves….. 

I didn’t think I was going to have a Coffee Talk this week, but I just returned home from a standstill commute due to a giant monsoon in Chicago.  
2013 has sucked uncontrollably in this city. 

Just sayin.

the new chick, Lydia, finally arrived on OC Housewives.
All I could think was, seriously how old is she? 
She looks SO YOUNG.  
I googled, she is 31. 
 and apparently also has a jewelry line for dogs. 
 just what every pup needs!

I think she is going to get eaten alive by the women on this show.
It is a lot of Smiles and Giggles and Hugs 
going on in her money-lala-land. 
Her family (and her husbands) must be rich as hell, because I don’t think she’s bringing home too much bacon.  She couldn’t even give a decent explanation of their magazine – “It’s called Beverly Hills Lifestyle, and the last issue featured a penthouse in New York.”
m’okay? 
oh, and that shoot when Brandi complained about her thumb looking fat or something?
her magazine. 

alexis goes on and on about how gorgeous vicki’s grandson is.
I’m sorry, I’m sure in a few weeks he will just be damn adorable,

but I can count on one hand the number of adorable/cute/beautiful newborns I have seen.  
Everyone is telling lies to everyone.  
Unless it is your child/grandchild, every one except you thinks
he or she looks like a tiny alien.


PS. This just in.  Apparently Gretchen proposed to Slade??
whaaat?
we shall see….. 

I’m full on obsessed with Ready for Love. 
the angry girl on the hot tub date was my favorite.
lu-na-tic. incredible.  
the bachelor type dates are already pissing me off though.
mud runs! building houses + cutting wood!
watching the girls pretend they love it when they want to die!

I have been slowly catching up on Rachel Zoe.
Watching back to back episodes of that show makes me really question myself and what is wrong me that I can handle watching 2 hours of such crap.  I lose brain cells.
Most noted from Rachel Zoe overload: Roger just gets worse and worse with trying to hide the fact that  he has no testicles.  
nice eyeliner. 
some direct quotes: 
(and all of these are said in a valley girl-ish tone with a uh, rachel, seriously rachel, i mean, rachel in between. obviously) 
“we’re having a little lunchie lunch! duh. duh.” while at lunch with his friend.
explaining attempting to build things: “it was missing a bolt. you know like, a bolt.  like, a screwy thing.”
rachel in her commentary about him changing 97 times to leave the house “no one realizes my husband is actually a diva.”
I think EVERYONE realizes a lot about your husband except you. 





ENOUGH KIM.
I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
You can show off a pregnant body in a tight dress,
but not tight ALL OVER in every inch possible EVERY single day. 
Hit up A Pea in The Pod already!!! 

Ke$ha,
who did this to you? It is amazing. 
also toning it down: pamela anderson.
well done ladies


Sources are saying the latest Bachelor couple are going to crap.
And his parents don’t want a wedding.
Which is shocking, because they normally all work out so well. 

justin beiber instagrammed this photo  himself.
how pathetic when you have to post cartoon drawings of yourself with a girl topless in bed? 
selena wins another point.  
he also refers to himself in the third person instagram with shirtless photos
ugh. so sick of you. 

who else is excited a whole week went by 
without a single T. Swift news story?

xoxo

by TheSarcasticBlonde 

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Comments

  1. Elizabeth @ The Little Black Door says: April 18, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    I give Lydia two weeks before Vicki's crazy devil eye swallows her whole. And Roger. Oh Roger. I thank god for Andy Cohen everyday.

  2. Meredith says: April 18, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    This whole post had my laughing out loud – thank you. Lydia is already annoying. I can't wait to read more about Gretch proposing! ha! I couldn't agree more with you on KIM. yeeeowza.

  3. The Now says: April 18, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    So what you are saying is I'm pathetic?? I post cartoon pics of myself with topless girls all the time. Ruuuhuuude. GOD I want him to goooooooooo away!!! I will buy a deserted island if Bieber, TSwift and Lilo agree to move to it. What? And did you hear what he wrote on the guest book at Anne Frank's house?

    ON to Bravo shows. That new girl is horrible..horrible. I can't express that enough. I guess not as bad as Rodge's guyliner but pretty bad.

    I need to watch this Ready For Love show.. maybe this weekend since my husband's out of town!

  4. Linda {Calling it Home} says: April 18, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    Lydia is so stupid…it's fun to watch…"we're rich!" You know her marriage and friendships are about to blow up. Wow, Gretchen is so lucky that Slade said yes. What a catch #FutureExHusband #DeadBeatDad. How long until the Biebs goes to rehab? Say what…another Bachelor couple doesn't make it?

  5. Natalie {Designer Bags and Dirty Diapers} says: April 18, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    ahh my favorite day. Where shall I start? Lydia so young and so rich can't hate on her too much since she named her son Stirling- but who spells it with an "i". Everyone knows "e" is the correct spelling. Baby Troy looks like an alien, all newborns do even my own did. and is it me or is Troy such an old man name for a little baby. Obsessed with Ready for Love- I kind of have a crush on the guy from the White Tees- may or may not have downloaded all his songs after his episode. Justin Beiber is lame and looks like a 12 year old girl. Take a clue from Zac Efron and get your shiz together. Kim will never learn at first I felt bad for her that everybody was ragging her while pregnant but enough is enough. Get a stylist (not Kayne) and start dressing appropriately. I never liked Shawn and whats her name together over them!

  6. Marion Green says: April 18, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    I seriously get excited for Thursday cause it's "Coffee Talk" day! 🙂
    Just a couple things:
    1) Justin Bieber needs to go away. And he should take his mom with him.
    2) So excited you'll be covering the "Ready for Love" show! Yay!
    xo – Marion
    ps – and there are no words for Kim's pregnancy style. I just can't imagine that she gets dressed, looks in the mirror and exclaims, "Yes! I look good. This is totally the look I'm going for."

  7. ashley nicole catherine says: April 19, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    hahah omg rog, he kills me. and his HAIR. why does she let him go around town like that?? so awful. i'm also confused as to why they opened a blowout salon. i mean, it's gorg and all, but i'm confused by it. and of COURSE gretchen would propose. because she is the man in that relationship.

  8. Erin says: April 20, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Um Pamela Anderson looks a HOT mess!!!! And I couldn't agree with you more about the new chic on the Housewives. She's too happy and ditzy-they're gonna eat her alive.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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