RHONY returns TONIGHT!  Finally!
I had weeks of old commentary on previous episodes that I never posted in a Coffee Talk.
so I figured I’d use them as a refresher with a Mini Coffee Talk before tonight’s episode.
because it’s been a LONG time.

:: RHONY ::
this may be very choppy because I’m copy and pasting from a bunch of old unpublished posts.
…. I know, I know… when is it not choppy?!
when does it EVER make sense?! 

Dorinda is SO. SO. SOOOO tough to watch this season.
She has just been TERRIBLE.

The entire Vineyard visit?!?! She has lost it.

THIS (below) is the fun Dorinda I want : “Just one Drink”

but like clockwork moments later it is not the Dorinda we get.
I really wish Tinsley would just learn to not squeal like a Chihuahua and get her point across like a normal 40-something-who-acts-like-a-20-something because what she says is true.  Dorinda is aggressive, cruel, taking everything out on Tinsley for no reason.  But no one can hear it at that high of a frequency.

Meanwhile, Sonja is giving us the comedic relief from the screaming we all need.
She is always such a ray of light amongst these terrors.

Well…. until drink #759 and then it usually all goes downhill from there, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

The wildest part about the lunch scene where LuAnn tells Tinsley she behaves like a child is that Tinsley on the spot has another epic toddler meltdown.

At the Russian Spa Dorinda continues to take zero accountability for any of her actions even after the women attempt to bring it up while Tins sulks in the corner in bathrobe and hoops.

Surprise, surprise.  But I did love watching all of these women react to the “spa” enviroment, especially after seeing the shady editors zooming in on “inspection grade pending.”  Lu looked like she was wearing a $2,000 silk suit walking into that place.  OH.  Also loved LuAnn “complimenting” Leah’s apartment.

Then there was the huge fight scene in Ramona’s apartment that I rewound a few times but still couldn’t follow?! It led to the hallway where Ramona did some of her typical fake tears and they all waddled back into the apartment.
Sonja devours some snacks and I’m again reminded that my standards for television are quite low because Sonja’s facial expressions and side comments totaling 1 minute of air time are enough to keep me tuning in week after week, year after year.

AND GET THIS ELYSE WOMAN OFF OF MY TV.
PUH-LEASE.

Moving on to the trip to Newport, Rhode Island….
(not gonna lie…. I was googling room rates at this place on the spot, knowing very well that I cannot afford it, just to add to my bucket list.  I thought perhaps Covid would have dropped the rates but if they have….. YIKES.  A cocktail in the lawn is all I’m getting…. but I digress….)
This is place is so stunning and beautiful and ooooooo-wee do
they immediately behave like lunatic trash in this gorgeous establishment.
I’m sure this is one part of RHONY you have NOT forgotten about during the 4 week hiatus:

To be honest, when Leah acted like a crazy drunk mess at Ramona’s house I laughed.  (I judge these women by Housewives standards not by actual human standards, ya know?!) Probably because it’s Ramona and she deserves it?!  But also it was a “typical Housewives crazy” where they drink too much at a house and act like idiots in PRIVATE.  And by in private I mean with 25 crew/sound/camera people recording it so that millions of us can watch it all at home.

Lu just sitting at the table during all of Leah’s theatrics cracked me up as much as everything else.
Like… furniture and centerpieces are being ripped apart inches from your face but you are acting as though nothing is happening.
Although, LuAnn, how on earth can you act like you’ve never seen a Lobster bib before?!
You’re too “classy” to have put a bib on to eat lobster?

You know what a damn lobster bib is!!!  This place is fancy as hell and even THEY give you a lobster bib.  LuAnn’s hypocrisy with “I am the queen of class” while she falls drunkenly into bushes and sleeps with married men is a DELIGHT to watch on television.  Thank Gawd these women never change.

But back to Leah and this insane evening in Rhode Island.
I loooove me some Leah – truly one of the best new additions for any franchise – but when she says
THIS after a night like THAT I am truly alarmed.

I think we all know why her mom is FREAKED THE F OUT about her drinking again.
Never in my life have I seen anything like it….
I meannnnnn I know we’ve seen A LOT of drunken antics from EVERYONE over the years….

Lu falling in the bushes!? Hilarious.

Dorinda’s slurs, week after week, year after year?!  I giggle uncontrollably.

Sonja preaching about parties with John John and falling under tables?! I watch with bated breath.

Not saying I didn’t laugh at the insanity of Leah, and also that some of these women have a clear issue and it’s mind boggling that they are grown ass adults and not 21 year olds behaving this way…..but this evening with Leah seems ehhhh….. different?

I would have DIED of mortification.  DIED.

The second night they ALL act like complete idiots (the usual suspects especially: Sonja and Ramona)
These women have no self control AND no self awareness.

Well said, Elyse,
but again
I beg you TO PLEASE GET OFF OF MY TV.

This man was a true joy.

He is ALL OF US as we watch, horrified and enthralled, on our couches.

And then Tinsley and Scott fall back in love and she LEAVES!
Why midseason!? WHY?!

He hadn’t even proposed yet?!
I guess the promise of a bathroom with built in glam was all she needed after all.
(he proposed soon after the move)
but really…. even with the childish tantrums and squealing, the idiotic things that come out of her mouth like using Google Translate to speak to her adopted dogs in Chinese…. I love her.

None of the ladies seem to care too much and it is a very uneventful goodbye. Dorinda who seemed to care A LOT about anything happening in Tinsley’s life, especially anything Scott related, doesn’t even blink.

But now that Tinsley is gone,
where will Dorinda redirect all of HER tantrums and anger and hatred?!

PS. I miss Bethenny……
PS. I miss Bethenny……
PS. I miss Bethenny……

The ladies return tonight, with new taglines in tow.