:: Coffee Talk 10.4.18 ::

DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES……

:: RHOC ::
Ugh I can’t stand these people…….well, mostly Tamra and Vicki, but let’s get on with it shall we?
We open with this:
Vicki waddles herself onto a motorcycle ~~she bought Steve to keep him around~~ and screams her brains out while Shannons divides her 15,000 pills, so nothing unusual to kick off this weeks episode.

Vicki continues to share her opinions about a woman she barely knows and her marriage she knows nothing about and makes me wonder for the hundredth time how long I need to watch this face-shifting-horrendous-human-being on my television screen. I can’t listen to hear talk about pining after Don anymore, especially while calling Gina SELFISH. Get this betch OFF MY TV.

It’s finally time for Shannon to take her freezer meals to QVC! So she brings the most supportive friend in her life: Tamra. David is clearly not the only toxic person causing Shannon serious insecurity and self doubt…..
Tamra is the worst friend EVER. Before her segment she says nothing supportive and instead makes comments about how ill prepared she is.

And then she just sits there are laughs AT her and criticizes everything she does the entire segment. From her jacket to talking about her hard year and weight gain to dropping the note card to touching her stomach. There’s a reason Tamra and Vicki are “such great friends.”
and sure…. the jacket was too small…. but damn, it was a cute jacket. Well done Kelly.

but I did love that the QVC women were FREAKING out about trusting Shannon to cut open the bag from the microwave. It was amazing. and probably a good call that they took that part out of her hands because I’m sure that it would have been a hot mess……

:: David Beador’s GF Pregnant ::
There are rumors circling that girlfriend, that he just moved in with is pregnant. Shannon said she didn’t think so on my-boyfriend-andy-cohen’s Watch What Happens Live, butttttt I feel like it’s true. For no reason other than he’s an ass and an idiot so it seems highly probable.

:: RHOD ::
Mama Dee is back to pretending that she is going to hand the company over to D’Andra. She has realized it’s not worth losing the relationship she has with her only child.

The hat D’Andra wears with those huge ass earrings while she harasses LeeAnne AGAIN about the wedding is just hideous. Heeeeedeous.

ALSO. Since I feel like I never really discuss Dallas ~~because nothing is happening~~ because it’s on late Wednesday nights, can we discuss LeeAnne’s dress designs.
When they first showed it on the brunette model and added sleeves or a longer skirt I was like, eh, the dress before you add stuff is cute and I get it so that’s nice I suppose.

But then when she said you can wear it ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY EIGHT WAYS she officially lost me.
I need to see these 178 ways you speak of……
because it looked to me like you put a tacky piece of red fabric on one arm and called it a look, then put it on the OTHER arm and called it a look, then moved it to the forearm and called it a LEWK, and then left the ugly red thing dangling and called that a lewk.
Soooooooo no. Keep the red completely off of that black dress for that matter and just keep it at like, ten looks. Mmkthanks.

:: Thomas Ravenel Updates ::

:: The Hills Reboot ::
Apparently MISCHA BARTON has joined the Hills reboot. WHATTT?!

So, like, the fake OC person will now be playing a real, but fake and scripted, OC person?!

:: Below Deck ::
I meannnn I am SO excited for this season it’s not even funny!
TAHITI?! Yes please…..
KATE! And no Hannah!? FINALLY…….

A bigger, nicer boat than ever?! AMAZING!
I was upset that Ben wasn’t the Chef because I like to see familiar faces, but DAYUM. I loved seeing the insane dishes this skinny young chef came up with just from the first day of the first charter! It was like a little bit of Top Chef mixed in to Below Deck!

And don’t even get me started of this drunken douche, who is A GOOD FRIEND of Captain Lee’s?! WHAT!?

:: DWTS ::
I hate to say it but this season just sucks….. I don’t care about any of these people…..
I’m fast forwarding through 3/4 of the show.
Juniors premieres Sunday…..

:: LVP + RHOBH ::
There’s been a lot of gossip about Lisa Vanderpump and the rest of the cast of BH having issues. Her refusing to be in the cast photo was the latest. And then I just saw a big group photo of everyone out somewhere, minus LVP. Now she is saying “all things come to an end.”

I hate to say it (editors note: no I don’t) but I don’t know if I would care if she went? She’s still all over Vanderump Rules…. is she really needed??

:: Vanderpump Rules ::
Speaking of Vanderpump Rules…..
Scheana dating the “new guy” from last season at Sur comes as ZERO surprise so that she has 1. has a man to cling to and 2. has a story line for next season.

:: Jackhole of the Week ::
Kanye West.
Not just for wearing this ridiculous bottled water ensemble on SNL

but for then tweeting about “abolishing the 13th amendment.”
The 13th amendment is what ended slavery.
He has since sent more tweets saying “amend” and that it’s slavery in disguise.
Oh, and apparently he is going by just “Ye” now.
Seriously I cannot with him.

:: Mazel of the Week ::
David Schwimmer joining Will & Grace (tonight!).
I JUST CANNOT WITH MY LEVEL OF EXCITEMENT.

Two of my favorite shows having a MERGER kind-of-sort-of!?
I DIE.
I hope he is a SERIOUSLY recurring character…. I would just LOVE IT.

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:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day, and likely won’t do the next day either. Or the day after that.