:: COFFEE TALK ::

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

unfortunately it’s quick edition of coffee talk this week.

because we are working on yet another home project….insert giant eye roll.

I can’t even discuss it for fear this one will go bad.

I just am reeaallll nervous. All this chaos is killing me and my brain is like WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? You didn’t eff up the kitchen cabinets, just stop while you’re ahead!

so I’m busy moving piles of crap from one spot to another before there is no looking back tomorrow morning.

right when I get the place looking good again after kitchen-cabinet-apalooza-2016 {pics to come…. um… next week?}

now this…. I. Just. Can’t.
I’m looking at my husbands desk in our bedroom as I type this and thats all I can say about the matter.

:: BACHELOR ::

I just can’t get over how Ben could not have led JoJo on more.

But she’s the real winner because ~~she’s not engaged to a stranger who cries more than her~~ no way would those two have been the ideal match.

Also, so painful that they make the reject girl hop out of the helicopter and start proclaiming her love first, and then he’s like I love you BUTTTT….. no.

I think him and Lauren are the right match and that they actually could make it to the aisle…. I wonder how tight his tux pants will be? Can’t you just picture the teeny little jacket and skinny-bitty little tie to match his skinny pants?

I sure can.

So then we ruin an additional hour of our lives with After The Final Rose.
I mean, I already watched 45 hours too many of this crap, why stop now?!

When Chris introduces “the best bachelor of all time” (um, whats your criteria here Chris? Because by standards, Juan Pablo can’t be touched)
Ben walks out and does like the dad cheering at a kids tee-ball game fist pumping/lawn mower WOO HOO motion I want to die FOR HIM.
ohhhhh my gosh. no. just no ben. no.

I couldn’t find a video but this is basically the closest thing.
so clearly he does this sort of thing A. LOT.

if it doesn’t load click here because you just must see it. with sound.

HANDS OVER EYES I SERIOUSLY CAN’T.

it’s almost as awful as Ben proposing for a second time to Lauren in front of her family and live audience.

It doesn’t make up for the fact that the world knows you didn’t know who the first proposal would be to, but aw how cute.

I MEAN LETS JUST TALK ABOUT THE NEXT SEASON OF THE BACHELORETTE!

JoJo! Hallelujah. ~~sorry I’m not sorry,~~
It just would have been the most boring thing in the world with Caila and you know it.

Lauren looks the best she has ever looked with the long wavy hair and that white dress.

she seriously looks ah-mazing.

The SNL Skit last weekend with Lace’s legit Doppleganger, Cecily Strong, was spot on.

:: vanderpump rules ::

I’m really sad to be saying goodbye to all of these horrible ~~kids~~ 30+ year old waiters and waitresses.

lala’s hair and outfit for this engagement party is insanity.

it’s only topped by the words that come out of her mouth, and the way she licked her straw at the Sur after party that I am still trying to remove from my brain.
but don’t worry there were plenty more breasts to go around….

Stassi looked amazing. She wins for look of the night hands down.

ps I love that ratchet is, like, a compliment to these people.

Lala is like a Whore? MY GOOODNESS NO! but Ratchet? YES PLEASE!
I just had to google the spelling of this “word” before finding the James image so I’m patting myself on the back.

side note : Lisa really didn’t let anyone use her bathrooms…..

…… smart lady. don’t let those germs anywhere near your toilet seats.

:: jersey shore ::

UM are RAHN and SAHM back together?!

STAHP. please let this be true.

:: the voice ::

I’ve never watched a full season but this year I’ve been watching and I’m super into it.
I get it.

But really, Adam, what is going on with the Miley hair?

:: jackholes ::

chris harrison and ABC and all of it. always. every year.

we have to kick of three hours of BS for what is really only 30 minutes of new footage with you pretending that a wedding is happening?

just lock it up. this is so stupid.
let’s stick to reality and normalcy : people getting engaged to practical strangers when they were in love with someone else 12 hours before. come on now!

EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.

images via: Giphy, ABC, Bravo