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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

fashion, Lifestyle

:: vegas baby ::

March 19, 2015

I’m heading off to Vegas this afternoon for a weekend getaway. 
{add me to your prayer list…. just kidding…. kinda……} 
there is so much TV I have missed this week that it’s embarrassing.
I can’t wait to get started on Southern Charm – the previews alone make it seem like Catherine is back to her old ways, sleeping with everyone at the dinner table, and I’m looking forward to Witney sitting in his mothers room while she acts like a total freak day in and day out. 
  
Vanderpump Rules reunion was very blah.  I’m mad at myself for having that be one of the things I saw this week.

Ummmmm Dancing With The Stars is back and I cannot believe how good Rumer Willis danced and I really cannot believe how annoyed with myself I’m going to be if I start to cheer for Rumer Willis.  What is wrong with me!? But seriously she was so good.  Also, I am fully a 50 year old housewife with how much I LOVE THAT SHOW.  I get so giddy and laugh way too loudly at Tom Bergeron’s jokes.
(Erin Andrews already showed nothing has changed and she is HORRIBLE at her job and cannot interview people to save her life in my opinion, which is clearly the same opinion everyone has because it’s the right one….. I thought we were booting her for Leah Remini?! Come on ABC!)
pps. THE MODEL’S BOOBS.  I kept yelling to Kip “seriously look how big those things are! how does she even walk! this is fascinating!”

RHOBH : um. Brandi with the teenage twenty something boy in Amsterdam.  I can’t even. There are no words to describe her level of trash.  SO GROSS. like….. you’re on a girls trip in a foreign country and you sleep with a stranger while yolanda hosts the final dinner???  the number of sexual partners that chick has had must be MIND BOGGLING and HORRIFYING. 

KUWTK : um. bruce. his lips. his face…… the same can be said for the 17 year old daughter.  khloe’s house looks amazing. the family is still the strangest group of people to ever live and I will never understand any of it.  kris jenner has a cookbook ? like….. what?  why?  just stop.  next up the family made famous from a sex tape will be selling crosses and chastity belts. 

The Blacklist : so many episodes with kip this week.  we love it.
well…. we love it and then he just yells at the TV about how unrealistic something is and then I yell at him “ITS A TV SHOW!!!  QUIT RUINING IT!!! GAHHHHH.”  ah love 🙂 
I know what you’re thinking “I thought you said you didn’t get to watch shows this week?”.
in my opinion I really didn’t because there are about 10 episodes of things (you know its more than 10 and so do I) on my DVR calling my name. 

packing for vegas has required far too many brain cells than I care to admit.
it’s  difficult to walk the fine line between stripper and classy grandma lady. 

sometimes people can judge you based on your lucite heels alone, ya know what I mean? they don’t realize its just because they make your legs look miles long.
beauty queens wear them too, people! not just strippers! 
just kidding i swear I draw the line at lucite heels. but I DO think it would be awesome if they were acceptable.  our legs would look banging ladies.  we should do something about this……. 
ps. how sad is it that I feel the need to clarify that I am joking about the lucite heels? which means I worry it really isn’t that far fetched for me….. ugh someone help me. 
anyways, a reader had asked me about my vegas attire, so a few of the items in my suitcase are below : 

the white jeans below are my favorite purchase for spring. they are $50, perfect amount of stretch, and comfortable fit.  I’ll be pairing them with a printed tank for daytime, and also packed some of my go-to silk dresses since the temps are going to be HOT.  
I have a herve-leger-ish bandage skirt  I’ve had for years from BCBG and its high waist goes perfectly with the crop top (plus really sucks you in).  sold. 
my black leather leggings are going on as soon as I arrive at the hotel tomorrow night – throw on any top and its the perfect, easy outfit change. 

white jeans  //  similar black skirt   //  black leather leggings

both of these tanks were fairly recent purchases and both are worth every penny.
you’ve probably seen the purple tank on here once or twice, I LOVE it so much.  
the coral scalloped tank is cropped with an open back. be still my beating heart! 
at under $50, I may have to get the white and blue version as well. 
purple tank  //  scalloped tank

I ordered the black dress on the left last week.  It was $100 and looked to be the perfect choice.  I was not so in love with it when it came and it got sent back.  The fabric was great, the draping looked super flattering from some angles and then made me look like I was pregnant from others.  The opening in the center you could adjust to show no midsection or slightly more, but it never looked normal like it did on the model.  I felt like I was trying to look like Kim Kardashin in it but without the right body for it at all.  So….. I say it was a miss – but it was really cute – just didn’t work for me.
Instead I am packing the  beaded dress on the right – I wore it for my bachelorette party and figure there aren’t many occasions other than Vegas where it is acceptable. 
black dress  //  parker beaded dress

planned outfit combos below. 
bandage skirt with scalloped crop top 

white jeans with printed tank. 

leather leggings with one of my other tops, or this joie leopard (the lighting in my pic is awful but almost identical here) top I scored at Nordstrom Rack.  

now, picture me in all of those outfits,
but picture a pizza stain or spilled drink somewhere on each of them, because realistically thats what’ll happen.  
I’m just kidding……. I’m totally married and responsible now!!! 
 and its going to be a family affair !! 
and we all will be little angels just scooting around Vegas on our rascals. 


hopefully something in between…… 
but I really do look forward to the day I go to Vegas and just zoom past people on a rascal with beverage in hand.

follow along on instagram !!! 





by TheSarcasticBlonde 

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Comments

  1. KellyM says: March 19, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    Tay do those white jeans run pretty true to size? I might need to grab a pair! Enjoy your trip! xoxo

  2. Pink Flamingo Style says: March 19, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Is it just me or does that shopbop model kinda creep you out? Either she really is ridiculously skinny or they have some master photoshoppers! Have fun in vegas, I'm going in 2 weeks and cannot wait!

  3. Christine Rorabaugh says: March 23, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    Yay!!! I bought a flowy cool back white parker tank that I was trying to figure out what to wear with Im totally getting that black skirt! Thanks for posting about your outfit plans! You're the best!! And omg you have to watch southern charm!! Cameron is as cute as ever and the hot mess of kathryn and Thomas is at an all new level including baby talk! Have SO much fun!!! Hit up the buffet if you find yourself at the mirage! You won't be disappointed! Breakfast, pizza, dessert and lobster all in one meal? Yes please! 😉

  4. Blogger says: November 17, 2016 at 1:23 pm

    I have just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the best virtual strippers on my taskbar.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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