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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

July 3, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves….. 

:: the bachelorette :: 
I mean this season STILL sucks. 
ENOUGH with THIS MANLY GLARE FACE.  GOOD LORD!!!! 

she is such a bore.  she is awwwwwful.  even the horribly scripted and even worse acting bachelorette themed Suave commercials they play every week are more thrilling than the 2 hours she is on screen. 
truly.  how horribly amazing are these? I rewind them every time, and then fast forward through the majority of the rest of the show. 

I’m really confused how this guy Chris is still in it?? 
he is so sweet and nice and, yes, he is attractive….. yet he just is such a girl to me.  
and he is missing and upper lip or a neck or something when he talks? 

he talks in such a high pitched voice, but it has to be more than that.
  I can’t put my finger on it.
oh waiiiitt….. he just said he’s a “nervous nancy”.
“nervous nancy”.
um…..

 can’t wait for the THRILLING farm-town middle of nowhere hometown date next week!!! 

nick really does creep me out…. he just….. stares……
I can’t be the only one who thinks he has the serial killer gaze/glare/look but can’t determine what exactly it is….. 

please tell me you think he has serial killer eyes constantly when he is on screen??? 

dylan is a serious hottie.  
she should not have sent him home.  
he looked so frat in his pink striped tie….. what was she thinking?
he is so edward burns in that picture on the right. yeas please. 
if there is anyone from that group to keep for the fantasy week, it was him!! 
PREACH!!!!!
:: ladies of london ::
I have so much to say and yet I can’t think of any of it right now!!
All I can think of is how Marissa does the side face talk like our camp director Mac did.
I literally picture the director of our camp when she talks like that in her commentary. (I know none of you except Megan know who that is…. but seriously, its uncanny).  
and of course I can’t find a single pic.. but the entire 2nd or 3rd episode when she talked about british stuff it was all from the right side of her face. 
 I like her…. but I’m just sayin’……

:: real housewives oc ::
Um Shannon….. I would have gone insane eating with you in Cabo.
The table announces they are starving…. so you excuse yourself to the ladies room to pull yourself together.  You finally come back.  They are ready to order…. and even more hungry…. so you pull your husband outside to argue once again. 

ORDER LADY.  then flip out about whatever you want, like how small the bed is in the beachfront condo in puerto vallarta you are staying in for free.
wahhh.  you poor thing.  

puh-lease….. 

Mom of the year award: Heather Dubrow

Let’s have your daughter who is so young she can’t even read watch you on TV getting tied up and beaten!!! 
and then yell “yayyy mommy!!”

sooooo olivia palermo’s wedding…..
womp womp.
thanks obama. 

:: real housewives of nyc :: 
why montana?
just…. why? 

can we please go back to vacations like Scary Island or wherever island Take A Xanax trip was last season?


tori and dean have another show already…… ?
filmed last summer, it is the two of them in a cabin in canada.
oh my lord….i’ve been rooting for you for so long because i felt bad for you because of your bitch mother and loser husband, but just give it up tori.   try to maintain SOME dignity.

Lilo has nothing better to do than sue the creators of grand theft auto for basing a character in the video game off of her.
um….. low point.

did you hear about the man versus food guy and his online rants?
yikes.
apparently this is what happens to you when you go from being paid to eat everything in sight, to dieting and losing 70 pounds, and then having food put in front of you again.

it’s summertime, which means big brother is back!!! yayyyy. 
I always hate everyone at the beginning of a new season….. and this year is no different.  I can’t stand anyone. 
 Except sweet little Donny , the school groundskeeper. 

on his show profile it says:
favorite activities: I love to work, eat, and watch TV.
DONNY!!!! We are so similar!!! 
Just remove work and replace it with sleep and WE ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!   


by TheSarcasticBlonde 

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previous article: wedding wednesday
next article: saturday steals

Comments

  1. Corporate Days, Fashionable Nights says: July 3, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    Hello from Cali! Its the day before the 4th so its quiet as a tomb in my office right now. That means Ill be surfin the net like nobody's biznass! So I stumbled on your blog and think its really funny! Now I follow you on instagram and think we would definitely be friends. Like how I straight up admitted I semi stalk??! Hahah! We are different in that I am very anti greek system but Im coming around to the idea of monogramming…but only straight, neat font! 🙂 Anyway, I agree w you on the bachelorette and it makes me wonder how they chose the bach/ettes? Juan Pablo was an obvious douche who was not properly vetted and just bc Andi was the only sharp tool in the shed to call a spade a spade then we have to watch her for hours and hours?? I dont get it ABC. OC- I thought Shannon was cool at first, now she bothers me, its like get it together woman! Heather is SO unselfreflexive (word?) I just cant. Wasnt she the one who told alexis not so long ago that if everyone says youre dead its time to lie down? Now with 5 or more people having told her that shes condescending she till wont even entertain the thought. At least she would be entertaining something! ha! I went on a trip to Idaho last summer very similar to the trip the RHONY went on and have to say it was a (shotgun) blast. It really is fun to be in such beautiful surroundins. Although I think Kristen is a bit of a baby I do think that Heather could have just played along w the geocaching thing. ITs like if its not showing everyone how tough she is she doesnt want to participate. Having said that I love me some Heather. Also hot gossip my buddies just got married in ST Barths and there were Mario and Ramona sightings a plenty so looks like the singers are back together. The one thing I will have to straight up disagree w you on is Tori and Dean. You break up a marriage, make the ousted wife out to be some sort of villain and then cry a river over how he does the same thing to you? He seems like a grease ball with anger issues too. UGH. Anyway keep the wedding pics and tv talks coming! I love this blog! Happy 4th!

  2. Nat says: July 5, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    Ok I can't even with Andi- she's just so boring!! I can't get through a full episode. I love ladies of London- Juliet is so obnoxious American it's awesome and Annabelle clearly has a lingering drug problem bc she can't stop bringing up Alexander McQueen. Shannon is out of control and so miserable aomeone needs to get her a Prozac.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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