coffee talk

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

I mean…. yikes. The Bachelorette was just painful.
If you didn’t feel for her, you have a heart of ice.

I think we all realized this was coming once it was down to the final three, they moved the finale up, and they kept showing the sobbing.
And since they aired how she was already in love with Brooks, like, three times before.

The thing I don’t get is this: She talked all season about how her ex never was able to vocalize his feelings, never verbalized them, and she realized she needs that. So what does she do? Falls in love with the one that never verbalizes his feelings or tells her anything about his emotions. Of course she does 🙂
Monday’s 2 hours of what I feel will be her dumping the other 2 and then everyone going home alone is going to just be miserable.
silver lining: the crop top is adorable, so she looks great while he stomps all over her heart and ruins everything.

lilo finished her 90 day stint in rehab!

excellent exit ensemble.
love the knee highs, very mean girls-esque.

except, the rehab center and court are saying she needs 3x a week therapy for a year and a half. If she doesn’t do this, the center says “it is a set up for almost certain failure”.

…. so clearly rehab went well! they have tons of faith!

basically, in so many words, let the countdown begin to the sightings at bars and nightclubs. and the return to court. then rehab. then blah blah blah…….

The only thing more entertaining than Slade’s brother

{whom I would much rather watch every week than Slade}

was Gretchen’s musical proposal. Thank God for auto tune.

Gretchen’s mom seemed real thrilled didn’t she?

The OC Reunion teaser video is just amazing.
I can’t handle it.

watch it {here} . I hope it’s a three-part-er.

Simon! My goodness! It’s like Shania-Twain Affair all over again!

Simon has impregnated his best friends wife with child.

Here were his thoughts about having a child in a previous quote:

“God, no. I couldn’t have children. If I had them here drawing on the walls I’d go nuts,” he said in 2009. “You’ve got to be up at a certain time. Got to listen. When all you want to do is sit in a corner thinking.”

Oh…. well….. maybe you shouldn’t be poking around your best friends wife’s territory. Congratulations!!

Oh. My. ~~God~~. Goo Goo.

The lead singer of Goo Goo Dolls got married!

You are totally looking at the bride in that photo….

aren’t ya?
that’s not where your eye goes?

no…..

not even a little?

NO CRAP!
BECAUSE LOOK AT HIS FACE!

Kenny Loggins and Bruce Jenner are thrilled someone is taking the spotlight away from their plastic surgery success for a hot minute.

Theresa and Joe…. I feel like they’ve been dodging this for quite some time. How? I have no idea.

But a little bit of obvious advice: if you are hiding assets and income, don’t go on a television show!! And you can’t really hide your income from said television show, dumbasses.
I had no idea Joe wasn’t a US Citizen. And I really can’t believe they were on WWHL the night before they showed up to the arraignment?
I have to requote the always hilarious d.listed:
“No word yet if Teresa’s greedy hair line was also charged with grand theft for stealing half of her forehead.”

Princesses of Long Island:

So this is from 2 episodes ago I believe, but I was away, and it just needs to be brought up. The double date that Ashlee went on with the 90 50 year old man.

Before they went to the retirement-home-night-club and she acted like she was grossed out, am I wrong, or was she TOTALLY into it? She legitimately wants a creepy rich old man! And I’m not buying that Amanda knew this weirdo but Jeff didn’t. Because it seemed like Jeff was definitely feeling him. Shocker.
Who are these people? If I were ever to be eating next to any of them I would have to stand up and leave.

And as I say every week……. HOW does amanda not see this? Are her and Des drinking some kind of Kool-Aid? {des because…. drew is so pretty and feminine I’m just really not so sure.}

Jeff Lewis Interior Therapy is back and I love it.

His one liners are some of the best I’ve ever heard; he figures people out and knows how to insult them instantly, which I feel is a rare and admirable quality. {slow clap}.
Another thing I admire about Jeff?
His photobombing abilities.

If you aren’t hysterically convulsing right now, just go away.

I have been watching bits and pieces of the Kardashians, and I just need to say one thing. Who told Kim to wear a buttoned up Ina-Garten blouse with a statement necklace in her reflection/diary/confessional speech things?

Because they need to be fired.

You know how much worse it is in the confessional thing, but I thought taking an iPhone picture of my TV would be going a little too far.
{not like I haven’t done it before}.
I will say, all of the paparazzi shots during her preganancy were horrid, because of her horrid ensembles. But she does look very pretty on the show when she isn’t squeezing into herve leger dresses at 7 months preg. Even the bikini in Greece!

Way to to end it on a high note!
until next week…..

Comments

Amy Florez says: August 1, 2013 at 4:18 pm

Thanks for the laughs. You should totally do stand-up comedy. Ina Garten blouse. Too much. I can't believe we have to wait until Monday to find out how this train wreck of The Bachelorette Season DESaster ends. Ugh. It's just so pitiful!
Laura {happily ever} Parker says: August 1, 2013 at 4:47 pm

Ohh I have missed coffee talk! And I missed the OC episode where she proposes to Slade! Damn it. No worries I am sure it will air 10 more times between now and the final. And Des was rocking her outfit for sure – she has an amazing body!
e024b39e-59a7-11e2-9397-000bcdcb2996 says: August 1, 2013 at 6:08 pm

You are so on-point!! Especially the summary of the bachelorette. And your one liners are as spot on as Jeff's. Thanks for the laughs. Keep 'em coming!! 🙂
Jessie says: August 1, 2013 at 7:03 pm

Slade's brother. That is all.
Alex {Things That Sparkle} says: August 1, 2013 at 7:05 pm

OMG JEFF LEWIS IS MY HERO. I AM OBSESSED. AND KIM'S SHIRT IS SO INA GARTEN. Yes this is all caps because I am dying laughing/screaming
Ally {Life as I know it} says: August 1, 2013 at 8:34 pm

Slade's brother was the best part about that episode. Gretchen can't sing a lick and even with editing she still can't sing for sh$! I've never seen those pics of Jeff Lewis photobombing before but they are hilarious!!
thepetitepelican says: August 2, 2013 at 1:05 am

This week's coffee talk was totally on point! I agree with all of your assessments…Slade's brother, Gretchen's horrific proposal, Johnny Reznik's awful plastic surgery, the Guidice's legal hot mess, Kim Kardashian's maternity wardrobe, Jeff Lewis' general awesomeness. Well done Taylor, well done! I don't watch Princesses of Long Island but I feel like I should catch the re-runs…
Erin says: August 2, 2013 at 1:30 am

OMG thank you for the Jeff Lewis hilariousness. Reason 4,571 I LOVE him.
Linda {Calling it Home} says: August 2, 2013 at 2:22 am

I really want to get called to Jury Duty on that trial. I only have 9 months left in New Jersey, and that would be the perfect ending. There are some other scenario's left for the Bachelorette, and everyone has hinted to them. I need you to find out what Amanda's boyfriend Jeff does for a living. I just can't imagine what type of career he could have.
Rachel - At First Blush says: August 2, 2013 at 1:23 pm

Oh my god – Slade's brother KILLED ME. Hands down best show on tv.
kiki says: August 2, 2013 at 2:31 pm

jeff lewis' sleeping photobombs i am dying!!!!!!! literally LOLing at my desk at the car one. hilarious.
Ashley says: August 3, 2013 at 2:36 pm

New to your blog and I feel like you read my mind with this post. First off, La Lo- forget therapy for 1.5 years, I think she should just sign up for it for he rest of her life. As for Joe and Theresa….. I can't even. They're ridiculous.