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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

May 10, 2012

discuss amongst ya-selves…….. 


The Bachelorette premiere is right around the corner, but so is even better news! 
We all love a reality tv show, and especially a reality dating show. 
Now they are combining celebs into the mix with a celebrity dating show The Choice! 
I don’t know who the hell wants to date lazy ass Rob Kardashian, but I know I’ll want to watch it unfold.
Joining Kardashian and Pauly D (real name: Paul DelVecchio) on the men’s side are: Tyson Beckford, Joe Jonas, Dean Cain, Rocco DiSpirito, Warren Sapp, Finesse Mitchell, Romeo, Jeremy Bloom, Jason Cook, Michael Catherwood, Seth Wescott, Parker Young, Ndamukong Suh, Dr. Robert Nettles, Taylor Hicks, Mike Sorrentino, Rob Gronkowski and Steven Lopez. The women will be represented by Electra, Hope Dworaczyk, Rima Fakih and Sophie Monk.

I die. This will be amazing. 
And, it is hosted by the always gorgeous and fashionable Cat Deeley. 

In other Bachelorette news: A finalist in Ali’s season, Chris, wed sweet little Peyton.
You probably remember him as the sweet Cape Cod boy who’s mom had passed away, and Peyton you my not remember because she was sane.  
Sane women seem to be rare on the show. 

anyone else shocked these two are still together??
I’m probably just bitter because a. serena has become the most obnoxious character on tv ever.  pout much? and b. I would pay big, big bucks to be with ryan.  love him. 

Andy Cohen has been airing old home videos to promote his book (I am heading to the bookstore to snap it up this weekend) and I have been rewinding them they are so funny. 





Breaking News: 
Rachel Zoe still needs to eat an entire McDonald’s restaurant.
You are a stylist….. you have to know this looks awful on your Jessica Simpson’s  baby 9 pound 13 oz weight body? 

Whatttt??? Reports of John Travolta being gay???? 
oh wait… we all already knew this and have been saying it for years.
yawn. 


Britney is confirmed for x-factor. This excites me because 
a. we get to hear her talk for the first time in 5 years and

b. we DON’T have to hear her talk 
Hallelujah.  Praise the Lord.  Amen. 

Brad Pitt is the new face of Chanel No. 5 
I know what you’re thinking…  for a women’s perfume?
The people at Chanel probably just came around and realized he’s a little bitch so he’s perfect for a female scent. 
Woah…. sorry.  I don’t know where that came from.
My disgust for this man and Angelina knows no bounds.  
Such a waste of a pretty face. 

I love a rare loving moment between JT + Jessica
so cute.  I hope pics of their wedding pics get leaked.

My friend e-mailed me this clip of 3 Grandma’s watching Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.

It is HILARIOUS.  NSFW – but hilarious. Please watch here.  

Crazy Kelly is back in the press with a new man

I’m a Today Show (well… Hoda + Kathy Lee obviously) watcher so I don’t know this GMA dude, but I hope he likes unicorns and jelly beans and rainbows. 

I don’t think I have ever laughed while watching Mad Men, but I was catching up this week and lol’d when Megan’s dad looks at little Sally and says

“You can’t help it… One day your little girl will grow up and spread her legs.”
“Wings, daddy…..spread her wings”. 
Great laugh for such a serious show.  

Pathetic confession:
I have been googling and googling.
I want to find the damn dress Sarah wore to Vegas on RHOOC
you know: the one that’s like this but amazing.
I can’t even find a pic of it. 
help a sister out.  I need this for my not-yet-planned next trip to vegas.
it was slutty yet classy and sparkly and all kinds of insane.  

I just know you all have seen the pictures of the lunatic mother from New Jersey accused of putting her daughter in a tanning bed, because her face is too incredible to take your eyes away from, but I just had to throw another one up there. I don’t know how I forgot to add her to the mix last week

via

lady friend…. even if you didn’t put your daughter in a tanning bed,
trust me, you ARE crazy. 
but you made my day. so thanks for that. 

Audrina Patridge turned 27 this week,

and for some reason that meant every gossip website had to make me feel like crap by posting 9,000 pictures of her in a bikini.
I’m off to cry the gym.  

xoxo


by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. Alex {Things That Sparkle} says: May 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I feel like we need a playdate to discuss everything here. Except I saw the tan mom this morning on the today show, and she goes "all of you haters are just jealous because your fat, ugly and poor" right??

  2. Nicole says: May 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    This post was absolutely amazing being the reality whore I am! So pumped for the Bachelorette and Audrina has the best body ever. Just gave me anxiety with bikini season swiftly approaching. Eeek!

  3. Charlotte says: May 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    Hysterical! I am giggling at my desk! I cannot wait for the Bachelorette. It is certainly one of my guilty pleasures. And Audrina's body, uh. I'll just keep on eating my banana instead of that snickers I am craving!

  4. Nat says: May 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Audrina has the best body ever- so jealous! I can't wait to see The Choice- nothing better than a show with washed up celebs! Rachel Zoe must be so hungry. I still can't imagine Ryan putting up with Blake she seems so stupid, or maybe just Serena is stupid but I can't separate the two. Tan mom is a freak!

  5. Traci says: May 10, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    Wait.. I died when I saw the Choice preview last night. I love how you pick up on everything I find funny. Not sure if you watched the latest episode of Mad Men, but there were a few parts where I burst out laughing.. Not the norm when watching that show. The pizza houuusee part was just so odd and so peggy. If you don't know what I am talking about watch up you will laugh.

    As always loved my favorite blog on thursdays!

  6. The Now says: May 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    The Choice??? hahaha!!! SO dumb. Oh I'm so happy for Payton and that cute guy! Umm that Andy Cohen clip of him dancing at the B 52's….amazing! Listen, if you didn't have a job and could work out all day and had implants, you could look like Audrina too. Errr that is what I am telling myself. And can Rodge please make his wife some fried chicken or something. RZ must eat! xoxo Elizabeth

  7. Jill says: May 11, 2012 at 2:27 am

    good stuff today!!

  8. Johanna says: May 14, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    You keep me current with these posts. Zoe is looking a little too skinnyish.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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