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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

2013

January 2, 2013

2013
I hope you all had a wonderful New Years Eve + a great start to 2013.
Apparently Andy Cohen lied to us about the WWHL marathon!
jerk. 
so instead, I watched about 4 hours of WWHL clips on my iPad in bed. Then I watched about 2 hours of Billy on the Street and laughed obnoxiously some more.  I decided the first day of the year should be spent doing nothing.  Breakfast and Lunch were both served in bed, and didn’t move until we transitioned to the couch for dinner last night at about 6. It was the best day I could remember in a long time, because clearly I am disgusting and lazy. 
For NYE, we went to a friend’s place to celebrate and had a great time. 
I’ll share the recipes for the food I made on Friday!

I feel like I make the same resolutions every year, and some I keep and some I don’t.  This year I think I probably kept the most I ever have.  I’ve definitely found a healthy eating routine and consistently work out each week.  Once I realized that it somehow became something I needed for my sanity, I rarely skip a workout.  Plus, it’s when I watch all of my DVR’d shows, and we all know I would never miss an episode of anything.  But the resolution that suprised me the most that I was able to keep was reading.  Every year I say I am going to read 12 books, and surprisingly this year I read over 20.  {This may have something to do with my newfound love for books on tape so that I don’t kill myself or someone else during my daily commute.} 

Favorite of the year: the book I just read on the beach – Gone Girl.  It completely lives up to all of the hype and talk. AMAZING. I couldn’t put it down and was shocked at how hilarious I thought it could be too, since I had no idea that could be woven into such an intense storyline.  Her writing was unlike anything I have ever read – I will be reading her other books immediately! 

Some goals for 2013: 

~ Become more organized: I will do a big clean, get all set, and then days later I feel like everything is completely a mess again 
~ Be more productive: I am incredible at procrastinating, aka being lazy, if my recap of New Years Day didn’t completely show that. 
~ Make more time for friends: the next 6 months are going to be really busy as the last year was, but I am hoping to juggle everything better to have more time with the people I love
~ Let it Go: I stress myself out over anything and everything.  The tiniest things will effect my mood, and I am an extremely stubborn person.  I need to learn to be patient.  I need to RELAX!
Most things in life aren’t worth getting upset over.  I think I grew a lot in the last year with realizing this, but it’s still something I struggle with. 
~ Be Happy and Thankful. 
Let’s be honest, I’ll probably fail miserably at all of these.
But that’s okay, because the most exciting thing about a new year: 
New planners!
 So pathetic, but it makes me so happy. 

I know I’ve been a crappy blogger.  I’ll work on that I promise (or maybe I won’t…. the procrastinating thing is hard to kick….) 

how were your NYE’s?! 
xoxo

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

Happy New Years Eve!

December 31, 2012

Happy New Years Eve!
I am back from another incredible Christmas in the Caymans 
and unfortunately home in Chicago,
but I am going to enjoy a final few days of nothing and nonsense.
via
via
I hope you all have a wonderful New Year’s Eve! 

via
I love these champagne jello shots!

and don’t forget about the WWHL marathon tomorrow 🙂 

 i’ve been looking at these gifs for 5 minutes and still cannot stop laughing

you know what I’ll be doing all day.
p.s. NER if you read this, I seriously think we should skype all day while we watch. 

xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

Cayman Christmas

December 23, 2012

Cayman Christmas
I’m off for our annual Christmas vacation in Grand Cayman!
via
I’ll stop in if I haven’t had too many mimosas 
on the beach by noon each day. 
ehh……. 

Wishing you all a {early} Merry Merry Christmas + Happy Holidays! 

xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

Holiday Mish Mash

December 20, 2012

Holiday Mish Mash
This post is a complete mash up of a bunch of random things I had wanted to post about, and of course midnight seemed like the perfect time to write and post it, so bear with me.


first, a surrogate?!?! that is all Bravo is covering?!?!

WHO. CARES.
damn you Andy for making me think it was something crazy good!

For Holiday gifts for friends, I had been planning on making Ina’s Rosemary Chipotle Roasted Nuts for so long, drooling over the photo in her How Easy Is That cookbook.  I was so excited to finally spend some time in the kitchen making these. They are so simple but so yummy and delicious, and everyone loves receiving holiday snacks. 
via
I wrapped them up in little red tupperware containers, and added a bow and a Christmas tag. 
tip: do not use tin foil on the bottom of the pan to make clean up easier.  These nuts get very sticky and they will stick to the tin foil in a heartbeat, as I learned with the first batch 🙂 

I decided to make a big fancy (for us) meal last week to celebrate the holidays, but also to celebrate the end of stress and studying for a little while for us both.  I made Ina’s Asian Grilled Salmon (obviously there is a theme here, she is my love) and Quinoa Veggie Fried Rice.  It makes so much rice for leftovers, and the fish is so simple with a delicious sauce. 
This may not seem like a fancy dinner for others, but salmon was a special feast to us!  
I know, I know.
 My photos are so professional and make the food look incredibly gorgeous. 
 It’s a gift really. 

I definitely suggest Ina’s cookbooks as great Christmas gifts.  The photos are gorgeous and each recipe has cute stories and comments from her.  {mostly about Jeffrey, which makes it even better}. 
I just picked up her latest for my mom. 

I finally got around to mailing out some Christmas Cards.
These were a particular favorite of mine that I mailed out. 

I will definitely be doing this for my New Years manicure

my christmas shopping is done, 
but I am in love with this make-up bag set from Vineyard Vines. 
Perfect gift for any woman! 
I’m off to finish packing for Grand Cayman!
I’ll be on the beach by Thursday afternoon, right when the snow will be pounding Chicago.
Hallelujah! 
How many bathing suits is too many? 

xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

December 17, 2012

Coffee Talk

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

What. The. Hell. Is. The. Dirt. On. Adrianne?
I need to know what is going on.
Theories? Rumors? come on …. tell me anything!!!
and I’m sorry… but Kim, it’s too bad you don’t have the excuse of being drunk anymore.  What is wrong with you that you would bring this up at your brother-in-law’s work party! You really are still crazy.

could Stacey Dash have been more annoying on Million Dollar Decorators?
and could this outfit have been any uglier????
My God.  No wonder she hasn’t acted since Clueless. I feel like this was her attempt at getting her name back out there, so maybe she was purposely being over the top?, but she looked like a dramatic lunatic.  every word out of her mouth was fake and ridiculous.  

she makes Martyn look demure and shy. {not an insult to Martyn, I love my Martyn}

Who knew Mama Elsa would be the voice of reason on Miami Housewives?
Leave Karent alone (we’re about 90 episodes in, and her name still drives me insane for some reason).
Sure, Karent’s response to her boyfriend cheating on her was a a blank-robot-blinking-stare.  Sure, she’s a complete and utter idiot.  But leave her the eff alone.

anyone catch the finale of Giuliana and Bill? It couldn’t possible have been more boring. no one gives a crap about your baby crapping, so find something else to talk about!

it was pretty much like this: 5 minutes of her on the phone talking about the house not being done and a party, and then 5 minutes of her in the “confessional/commentary” thing talking about the EXACT SAME THING she just talked about.  I was pulling my hair out. 
 Highlight of the episode?
They kept showing the girl sitting in the front row of their speech in Tampa who was sitting with her crotch in full blown view.  (i looked….can’t find a photo – but it’s worth rewatching on the DVR). Yes, she was crying at the speech, but how does NO ONE in the editing room (or the girl herself) realize that her China is on full display.
upside:
their new LA house seriously is gorgeous though.
and obviously i went crazy for the monogrammed baby bed.
 just not the baby. they don’t make great tv. 

The LeAnn Rimes interview was just SO much bullshit.  
LeAnn, you have quite the hideous ugly-cry.
Your eyes are pretty nonexistant to begin with, but I swear they literally don’t exist when you are trying to act like you are a good person for banging a married man while you are married.  Look above…. NO EYE BALLS?
Yes, Eddie Cibrian is holy-good-lord-jesus-HOT, but come one now.  he probably has more STD’s than Adam Levine. 
and his kids are not “your boys”.  Brandy’s a crazy, but I would slap you too for the “my boys” comments.
No one feels one ounce of sympathy for you.  And I’m seriously judging and disliking Giuliana for realizing in the interview that they are real life friends.  Woof.

Shemar Moore on WWHL was a close second to the amazing-ness of Mike Tyson on WWHL.
It started out hilarious…. and then slowly became so disgusting and creepy that I was screaming at my television, and I know I’m not the only one.  {yet creepy in the best way possible.  I live for this stuff.}

Andy Cohen’s reaction was, as always, priceless.  And it wasn’t complete until, when they were one shotski short for Sweet Brown, the gentleman Shemar decides he will take it and then put it in her mouth. AHH!  My good Lord, I love Bravo and live television.


Shemar CLEARLY did not realize who Sweet Brown was and that she normally did not look quite as put together as Bravo had made her look.  And those gold front teeth aren’t by choice Mr. Moore.  The After Show online gets even better. So we all need to immediately go watch! 

I need to start watching Shah’s of Sunset…. Persian Barbie Lily and Reza have convinced me. 

Since it’s been so long since I have Coffee Talk’ed, a few more things:
*I can’t even believe J. Simps is pregnant again.  Good Lord. 
*Kate being pregnant is going to make it seem as if J. Simps was only pregnant for 2 weeks based on how much people aren’t going to shut up about the Royal Baby
*and of course… this was a week or 2 ago… but 
THANK YOU MILEY for making my week, week after week

one classy broad, i tell ya. 
(oh and a more recent one….) 

Liam…. we’re all here for you when you realize what the rest of the world already knows. 

xoxo


by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

MIA

December 14, 2012

MIA
my apologies for being MIA the last two weeks.

first and most importantly, my thoughts and prayers go out to the families and children in Newport, Connecticut.
I honestly don’t know what this world is coming to. 
 Such a horrible, senseless crime. 
everyone hug your loved ones close. 

after I started feeling better things got crazy, and then this week I just haven’t had any energy to do much except try to get everything in my life back in order! 
I have lots of blog reading to catch up on this weekend!

Some Holiday tid bits:
we celebrated Christmas early with Kip’s family last weekend since we will be in the Caymans, and it was so great.  Finding and giving gifts is so much to me.  We found so many good things on a big shopping trip last Saturday, with favorites including: 

this leather beverage bucket for wine + brewskis

the corksicle

these sphere ice molds 
(honestly the best gift this christmas. 
 i picked some up for basically everyone.)

and a grill light + fan

I also picked up some cute little gifts for Kipper:
the ice molds above for his scotch 

a little salt dish 
apparently this is a necessity when cooking 
and he talked about it constantly? 

and some monogrammed sunnies for the upcoming vacation.
I not only monogram everything in the apartment,
 I monogram him as well 🙂 

his mom gave me the greatest gift I think I have ever recieved and it hasn’t been off of my body in the last 6 days. so comfy and so cute in the herringbone! 
lulelemon herringbone jacket
it also makes you look instantly skinnier.  it is heaven people. 
I will be posting a Coffee Talk this weekend, either tomorrow or Sunday, and then a few posts next week before I head off for our annual Christmas vacation Thursday. 

Hug your family close tonight + keep everyone in your prayers.

xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
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Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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