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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

January 24, 2013

Coffee Talk
discuss amongst ya-selves……. 
  
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: 
Taylor used the episode as a time to make any and all subjects about her and her husband and her issues and her life and her. and her.
Camille…. I love you for telling her to shut the hell up in your commentary.

Kim stills calls her brother in law by the wrong name even when sober.
Apparently she doesn’t quite get that its not Maurice.
She also proved to us that she is still crazy by noting she can’t ever move out of her house because little children spirits are hanging with her in her bed. 

Yolanda used this episode to piss more people off, 
this time lecturing the hard working man to LEARN ENGLISH as he tries to move heavy as hell furniture to the perfect location for her. 

And Marisa bitched and basically told all of America that she doesn’t give two shits about her cute, rich, loving husband.
she is in dire need of some new hair. 
Overall: I thoroughly enjoyed the episode. Except seriously, why are Faye and Marisa being members of the cast? Enough Andy! Enough!

Oh, and this?!?!?!
This is just disgusting. 
“Age is just a number” is probably the most annoying thing to ever come out of anyone’s mouth.
YES. IT IS A NUMBER. FOR A REASON. 

I’m not even discussing this weeks Bachelor.
yawn.

well, one thing, thanks ABC for making me watch a repulsive kiss for over 3 minutes.  Big mistake watching live and not having the fast forward option. 
Lesson learned. 

Lilo continues to make genius moves.
She fired her lawyer, and then hired a new one
who is not legally able to work in California.
He needs a “sponsor”, and the one they picked has been an inactive member of the state bar for 17 years.
go girl! this will totally help you get all charges dropped!

another smart girl in Hollywod,
Amanda Bynes.
she looks better than ever with a diamond embedded in her face! 
retirement is doing you well! 

Kelly Osborne is engaged to a Vegan Baker.
I know that I all of us couldn’t care less about this. I just want to laugh at the fact that he is a Vegan Baker and that his hair looks like that.  Mazel Kelly, you DID find someone with worse hair than you! 

Sorry B,
you may not have done a jig across the SNL stage,
but this was a big, big mistake to lip synch for one of the biggest performances for people to see on TV.  
Start taking some notes from Kelly Clarkson.
and why are you trying to copy Gwyneth with a blog? 

I’m not even going to bother making fun of what you said this week,
your hair speaks for itself. 
 let’s just take a moment and soak it all it….. 

so who is going to the Boy Band Reunion Concert with me?


and WHEN will ‘NSync do this!?! Come on!


xoxo

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

January 23, 2013

lusts for the week….
that I later realized were all pretty much red white + blue
yeah. Amuricah. 
clutch

milly combo dress

RED valentino striped sweater

catherine malandrino cutout dress

ankle zip skinny jeans

gingham shirt 

rugby striped sweater

ps. the today show says women look their absolute worst at 3:30 on wednesdays.
YAYYY. thanks for making midweek even better. 

xoxo

https://www.thesarcasticblonde.com/2013/01/lusts-for-week.html

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

Weekend Recap

January 22, 2013

Weekend Recap
It was a great long weekend!  
I had a double date at Tango Sur – the greatest BYOB Argentinian restaurant in Chicago. (the 3 hour wait at a bar across the street is always worth it) 
 headed back to our place to act like idiots


and celebrated my friends upcoming wedding next month! 

 the boxes were bigger than the bride!! 

 her maid of honor and bridesmaids had 
the cutest decorations and games
these photo booth props were too damn cute
 and my fav pic of the night 🙂 

I also went to see Silver Linings Playbook with friends and I loved it.  Very different than I expected, but a great movie. 
*this is a big deal because I think this is the first movie I have seen in theaters in almost 2 years.  yikes. 
xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

an extra day off….

January 21, 2013

an extra day off….
I’m enjoying the final extra day of the weekend
cleaning, studying,
and heading to the movies with friends.
finally seeing silver linings playbook!
I’ll share more about the Bachelorette weekend with 
this pretty little lady later.

Meanwhile, sweatpants, a sweatshirt, socks, uggs, and my big fuzzy robe are still not keeping me warm enough in our living room with the coldest temperatures in 2 years and a seriously horrible waaaaay below zero windchill. 
my ugly black puffy coat is on constant rotation.
why can’t cute coats like these be as warm 
as my hideous giant marshmallow coat?
tart joslin coat
*gimme gimme gimme
twenty8twelve coat
leather bib jacket
xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

Friday Randoms

January 18, 2013

Friday Randoms
a 3 day weekend sounds like heaven right now! 
via Mrs. Lilien

I have a fun one ahead, with bachelorette + bridal shower activities, birthdays with my man-friends family, and dinner with friends.  
Oh, and lots of work crammed in there somewhere (aka monday)

some cute black pieces that are bachelorette appropriate: 
Backstage Jessie Dress

Lace Peplum Top

BCBG Tank Dress

Mackage Coat

finally, this tiny apartment is incredible. 




 I hope you all have a great weekend!  

xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

January 17, 2013

Coffee Talk
discuss amongst ya-selves….. 
  
the bachelor began with an obligatory
“if you love me and want to go on this journey with me, 
you’ll jump off a 9,000 foot drop with me”
seriously producers? why, every damn season, do you insist on doing this? no one wants to do that with a stranger. 
or anyone. 

I wish just once one of them would grow a pair and say “hell no.” 

then there was about 20 more minutes of how she is just like everyone else and can do anything people with two arms can do!!!! seriously ABC (because I’m still hoping this is editing, not the girl constantly talking about it), KNOCK IT OFF. its an arm!
next up, another lame date! 
this one had modeling and photo shoots!

{why do I love and watch this crap?}

what the HELL was going on with the girl’s hair who left?

I literally could not believe my eyes. 

and apparently the daughter on Homeland has a sister

because angry Kristin Stewart chick has no human emotion and refuses to brush her damn hair too.

and yes, Des seems nice and normal. 

but we don’t care about nice and normal. 

how amazing was american idol last night?

I haven’t watched idol in years, and after seeing nicki and mariah interact in the first 5 minutes I just couldn’t change the channel.
Nicki Minaj is a giant pain in the ass.
I think I may be a viewer this season. 

Kim really needs a damn stylist.
or for ANYONE to tell her to put the girls away.

I wish I could have found a better photo!
old lady boobs shoved up do not look good. 

ever. 
I loved the random guy at dinner commenting after the huge explosion,
“Who’s ready for dessert?”
I want to go out with him. 

Brandi makes me so frustrated.  

If you would just stop dropping f bombs and screaming at every single person in the room, everyone would probably leave you alone. 
It’s too bad because she did look really pretty before she starting screaming. 

I don’t know why they keep bringing this Marisa chick into the equation either. 

lock it up, Andy. 

How has Taylor not realized to lay off the sauce? Can you not wait at least 10 minutes into dinner to start crying and getting hammered?

Wait, like, an hour or something.  Honestly.   

 And since when do her and Brandi like eachother anyway? 

{ps. i had to go through and correct my spelling of Brandi.  I should have realized immediately that of course she is Brandi with and I).  Taylor also burst into her own rendition of Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies” but in drunken-botoxed-speech form.  

women supporting women or some crap like that.

then everyone just started screaming at eachother about everything.
yay.

Stassi continues to be a pain in the ass.
so does her name.

and I actually thought one of the gay straight guys looked cute at one point
and I’m pretty sure I hadn’t had any booze

jax in his old modeling photo they showed
not too bad.
 now you’re just old and a bartender though. 


I cant wait to see jennifer lawrence host SNL this weekend

‘
kandi from RH of Atlanta is engaged

daammmmmnnnnn.

LeAnn wasn’t pleased with no one giving a damn about her ugly cry interview with E!


remember the face? ha. me too. 
so now she has gone to Entertainment Tonight
and offered up the most obvious statement ever

“I something worry Eddie will cheat on me.”
um. ….

just stop talking.


it still cracks me up to listen to Jessica Simpson talk about pregnancy
I’m certainly not a square

but there is just something about a ministers daughter,
pregnant for the 2nd time, with her boyfriends baby,
who had just gotten divorced when they got together,
saying she’ll try to keep her legs together this time,
because he just keeps knocking her up
before they can get married.
that realllllllllly cracks me up. I’m sure nick and vanessa laugh so uncontrollably its not even funny.
oh, and the TV show she’s going to have when she “keeps her legs closed” after the second baby?
I would rather watch Newlyweds re-runs every day all day.
(not an insult – god I loved that show.  that’s when life was good.)

although, I’ll give it to you Jess.
Atleast you aren’t still married to someone
 else when you get knocked up.
that’s the new comparison to be morally OK apparently.


who else is annoying this week that I missed? 
xoxo

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
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Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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