The Sarcastic Blonde

friday randoms, Lifestyle

friday finds

February 28, 2014

the perfect outfit for spring. perfect.

if someone knows of a skirt similar to this, please leave a link in the comment section and I’ll love you forever 🙂

I will be ordering these napkins to have on hand for every occasion.

preach.

these earrings are $34 and so gorgeous I can’t stand it.

for someone like me who wears a pair of studs all day everyday,

these would be as perfect with jeans as they would be a black dress.

inspiration for the makings of an incredible bridesmaids luncheon.

Do we believe this or not?

It’s a website I found through pinterest with knockoff lululemon pants.

I feel like I need to order a pair and see???

these healthy pb+j cookies are next up on my healthy baking list

target does it again with this belt.

I need to start changing up my dinner routine.

I make a great garbage salad (aka filled with a ton of veggies, avocado, and feta) but I have had it every night for the last week.

this recipe looks delicious.

hope you all have a great weekend 🙂

I have lots of wedding planning and a much needed dinner with girlfriends on the agenda. and the OSCARS!

and a much needed mani/pedi. it’s an emergency over here.

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

February 27, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

I’m going to let some much more hilarious people take over today’s Bachelor recap.

and I hope that “eees okay” that I do so.

Because every single line is pure perfection.

Head on over to Betches Love This.

It is the most perfect recap I have ever read in my life.

they are the funniest bitches ever and I love and hate them for it.

Slow clap for Andi for proving that there no doubt that he is the biggest douche and worst choice for a husband ever.

The Women Tell All next week is going to be amaziiiiiing.

JP’s response to any word in English:

Lisa VanderPump is really, really, really getting caught in her web of lies.

and if she bashes going on these lavish vacations because her accommodations are worse than Giggy’s one more time I will slap her.

awww, you poor thing.

how dare I only have one sink + toilet in my bathroom.

let me break out my tiny violin for you.

I know all season has been leading up to this, but I seriously believe everything they are saying about her.

She can’t even deny it!!! She does a hideous squinty face and goes “did I say that????” as if that is a denial.

“ken, I don’t know, did I????”

Nice try with the botoxed eye squint, but no one’s buying it.

Oh, and Lisa is NOT 55. She is 52.

Get it right, Yolanda, Godddddd.

Enough of this Beverly Hill Crap, Bring on the New York Crazy!!!!

Paul Rudd is most likely #1 in my “Top 5” list because of every reason in existence. I love, love, love him.

And this video made my week.

Okay, seriously, go read the Betches Love This Bachelor Recap.

It is a must.

Lifestyle, wedding

wedding wednesday

February 26, 2014

I’m sure you all watched The Bachelor last night,

because you know I did.

He seriously can’t hold a conversation with a tree.

I was as excited to watch the drama after the fantasy suite unfold as I was to see St. Lucia,
because it is where Kip and I are heading for our honeymoon in June!!

After much back and forth and being all over the map for where we should go, we decided on St. Lucia!

We’ll be splitting our time between two different resorts, The Sandals Grande and Viceroy Sugar Beach.

We’ve had friends go to both of these places and are so excited to go ourselves. By going to both places it’s great combination of everything we are looking for, enjoying two different experiences, and still meeting everything we are hoping for in a honeymoon.

Sandals give us the all-inclusive aspect we love and all of the water sports and activities we want to do, and Sugar Beach gives us our own private little secluded cottage we’ve always dreamed of and a luxurious honeymoon feel.

The always disappointing jackass Juan Pablo and the always sexed up Clare were at Sugar Beach for their date and fantasy suite night…. so I tried to get over my nausea at the two of them and stare at everything in the background to mentally soak it in.

Where did you go on your honeymoon or where are you going!?

Any tips for things to do?!

images via sandals and sugar beach

fashion, Lifestyle

lust list

February 25, 2014

every time I hear “cork” I think of this lovely SNL skit.

I know I say the skits all my favorite, but it’s got to be one of them, because it’s just too good.

on an entirely related note,

c. wonder always has such great stuff, and here’s some of the things I have my eye on

c. wonder always has 90 things I love, and their sale section is incredible. I got a pair of monogrammed cashmere blend gloves last winter on their sale for $9.00 and I wear them constantly.

other items I’m lusting after:

their ginger jar prints // decorative plates // prettiest spring pumps

and of course, everything monogrammed

monogrammed denim // initial belt buckle // monogram cheese plate // initial earrings

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

February 20, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves…….

The Bachelor:

oh my Lord he is just the woooorrrsssstt Bachelor ever.

and a cry baby who makes no sense when he speaks.

Opera Singer chick.

She keeps saying her and Juan Pablo are “missing that cerebral connection….”

and that she’s looking for it.

YOU AREN’T GOING TO FIND IT.

because he’s a dumb ass

and he certainly doesn’t know what cerebral means

{nor probably does any girl on that show.}

he’s not going to go from moron to intelligent in one night.

go home. you are seriously a weirdo.

ewwwww!! ewie. ewie. ewie.

{I’m truly sorry…..this is the hardest season ever to find pictures from episodes of the show online, so I have nasty stuff like that to work with}

and no joke, on my post I didn’t make “because he’s a dumbass “big and bold, but when I publish the post it makes it that way on my screen and probably yours too. coincidence?!?

also, why do people keep wearing one pieces this season?

the new bachelor drinking game should be Juan Pablo saying “what dis mean?”

I swear, one of the ~~women~~ girls could say ‘chair’ and he’s like “chaaairr? what dis mean?”

good god.

clare and nikki get into a cat fight back at the hotel….

both are obnoxious, but in different ways. clare is a ho just out for a man, but nikki really does seem like an obnoxious bitch who is super into herself. she seems a little bipolar too… just sayin’.

I need more cat fights. It’s the only thing making me look away from my computer or food or anything else to pay attention to the damn show.

and what kind of cocktail parties are these??!!

NO ONE IS EVEN DRINKING.

WHAT???

~~thanks a lot obama~~

Juan Pablo you ruin everything.

I’ll drink FOR them every time Juan Pablo acts like a hypocrite and a moron

I love this article with the marriage announcement for

Blair Waldorf marries Seth Cohen

{see it here}

I loved me some Seth Cohen.

KUWTK ….. why do I watch this crap?

They all just suck so much.

All of them acting like WHAT’S THE SURPIRSE GOING TO BE?!?!?! I HAVE NO IDEA?!?!?! for Kim’s proposal.

Ohhhhh I have no idea what it could possibly be that’s SUCH a big deal and everyone is there including the jewelry designer and aunts and blah blah.

But let’s keep cutting to scenes of Scott Disick and his unconscious mother in the hospital who later passes. Because that’s appropriate!?
What is wrong with ~~these people~~ Kris!?!
(honestly, so sad about him and both of his parents. awful).

Part II of Vanderpump was so not what I was wanting.

So we’ll just stick to talking about Part I on Sunday’s Coffee Talk.

I should have just watched part I again.

Shah’s of Sunset Reunion

I stopped watching half way through the season because it just wasn’t doing it for me,
but I caught a few moments of the reunion.

The best was the little mini clip between commercials towards the end of the show. All of them are calling the waiter over and trying so damn hard to get a drink. They are ordering specifics and gin and whiskey and this and that and Andy keeps having to call the waiter and say no, and they go back and forth. Loved it.
I probably just explained that horribly for those of you that didn’t see it.

Juan Pablo and Bachelor Bitch’s….. take some notes from the Shah’s.

I’m off to my best friend’s Bachelorette Bash in Charleston…. so I studied the Shah’s and took notes on how to party with the best of them.
Follow along on instagram to see some antics.