The Sarcastic Blonde

:: holiday weekend + sales ::

July 1, 2016

I can’t believe the 4th of July weekend is finally here!!

We have one of our best friends coming to stay with us for the weekend that I haven’t seen in a long time so it should be fun – fingers crossed for perfect weather like we’ve been having lately!

one of my favorite, favorite sites J.Crew Factory is having 50% off sitewide PLUS an extra 15% off with code happysale — that’s 65% off everything!

perfect time to stock up!

this striped tee is on its way to my casa; I’ve been wanting a similar one forever and the price can’t be beat! also got these cute shorts to try…. I’ve had bad luck with all of my shorts shopping this month and still can’t find the box where I packed all of my shorts. sigh. I thought I expertly packed the house and labeled the *for now* boxes but now I’m thinking otherwise.

column one : { white eyelet dress }

column two : { linen striped button down } // { eyelet top } // { seersucker gingham button down }

column three : { striped shorts } // { tassel scarf } // { polka dot boardwalk shorts }

column one : { eyelet top } // { basketweave mini skirt } // { chambray tank }

column two : { striped tee } // { white eyelet skirt }

column three : { sleeveless shirtdress }

Have a Happy 4th of July everyone!!

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

June 30, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves….

:: peoples couch junior edition ::

Ok. I know this aired about 3 weeks ago but I am late to the party and just watched it. People’s Couch is off for summertime (AHH) but they did a 30 minute episode with young british kids watching TV and I was so prepared to be like “aw how cute blah blah blah” and instead:

I couldn’t even handle what was going on and was covering my eyes and flipping out.

They have these little kids watching a show called “Birth: The womb at 16 weeks”

SERIOUSLY?

I can’t. hands over eyes disgusted can’t do it.

I’m thinking…. PHEW we made it through that, on to something funny.

THEN

Jurassic Park.
like, the part with the dead baby lamb being hurled onto the windshield of the car……

I mean, I can handle it, I’ve seen the movie a ton and its not like a “horror movie” and Kip watches it every damn time they play it on TV – which is all the time except for when that superhero movie with Robert Downey JR is on or the big one Independence Day is on and he watches that instead …. …

but I digress…..
but seriously, why are these kids watching all of these scary things?
AND THEN. I have to LITERALLY fast forward through the rest of it because they start to show an Animal Planet-esque type of show with BABY
ELEPHANTS being eaten by alligators!!!!

SERIOUSLY-MY-BOYFRIEND-ANDY-COHEN?!?!
why would you subject these little kids to this thing and WHY are you subjecting us to watching them watching it?!

:: bachelorette ::

okay, no more leather jackets people, there are about 7 too many on these dates.

Poor Wells. Hashtag Wells for the new Bachelor.

None of these other losers would have done a creatine powder ceremony for Chad.

I seriously can’t get over how big of a jerk Alex is.

the first episodes where he was nice and none on this was “revealed” I was like “aw he’s handsome I feel bad for him that he’s so much shorter than the other guys and that they just aired him running and jumping to get into that chair for millions of people to see”

but NOW, after he acts all mean and like a total chach (why does my computer keep trying to change chach into coach, I googled, it says its spelled chach) I’m like “listen little man you better lock it up and quit being mean!!!”
he’s like the new villain now that chad is gone?!

I can’t even look at Luke and his brooding angry anorexic face that Jojo somehow finds so sexual that I don’t know how she hasn’t pulled a Canadian-quickie-like-Kaitlyn.

EWWWWWIIEEEEE

We ALL know he is making it to top 3 because for how touchy feels she is with everyone she makes it WAY clear she is going to rip his clothes off fantasy suite week for sure.

I just can’t. I honestly can’t.

Poor James Taylor is too emotional and sweet for all of this.

I hope girls are THROWING themselves at him now that this is airing because he deserves it.

and he is right about Jordan!!!! you DO act entitled Jordan!!!

when it was against Chad it all seemed normal, but really, all you do is

smile and laugh and shake your head like a cocky asshole at every comment instead of explaining yourself or using words.

and quit swirling your white wine around and sitting aggressively staring at James Taylor after Jojo confronts you!

Don’t get pissed at JT! Jojo’s so blindly obsessed with you it doesn’t matter what anyone says – including you apparently because you say NOTHING – so lighten up chachstick.

PS – take a gander at this : jordan’s ex accused him of cheating on instagram and he did a massive twitter rant that is just hilarious (HERE)

OH and apparently twitter rants are his thing because when I was googling to find it, it only brought up his previous twitter rants about vanderbilt and football (HERE)

caption : douche.

it’s official : Jordan is awful and I’m over him.

I’m still team aaron rogers and olivia munn all the way though.

Tango 2-on-1 Date:

I mean I laughed so hard I almost cried when they have the Argentinian singer singing “don’t cry for me argentina” while derek cries in the cab leaving.

WELL PLAYED ABC. WELL PLAYED.

editors note : one of my bach brackets I had to pick everyone for every week before the first episode even aired and I had picked Derek to win because everyone else was saying Jordan and I was thinking maybe he dumped her at the end or who knows…. and Derek had the blue eyes and finance job. whoops. I was off.

Robbie, the king of too soon “I love you” even for this show {with a response of “Thank you” haha}

is officially Justin Timberlake as his character in Dick in a Box/Mother Lover.

am I right?!?! PREACH.

seriously what are you wearing and more importantly can every one of these guys PLEASE change their haircuts? Immediately? YOU FIRST ROBBIE.

~~Wee man~~ Alex is PISSED at the rose ceremony that he got a pity rose or the last rose or that he finally realized the producers keep putting him smack in the middle of all the tall guys so it emphasizes his small stature even more.

he pouts to the camera with his hands in fists at his side and slowly and dramatically says ” I want to feel …..WANTED!”

OH MY GOD first she keeps evan too long and now you?!?!

GURL BYE. Your days are numbered Alex!

:: southern charm reunion part one ::
OMG update : read HERE about kathryn apparently attacking a crew member this week during season 3 southern charm filming

as I mentioned on Tuesday,

Holy WTF is Kathryn wearing how AMAZING does it make this hour (and the next hour) of television.

because not only does she do her insane eye glances and staring at the ceiling and neck cranes and basically head twirling 360 degrees while she goes bat $#ey!te crazy not looking at who she’s talking to, she also keeps grabbing her pleated maroon skirt and moving it in like twirling motions all over the couch.

BLESS YOU BOYFRIEND ANDY COHEN for bringing this into my life.

and landon, sweetie, the earrings, these things are awful.
it’s better than a giant purple fur, but still, you would have looked beautiful in just the red maxi, take it down a notch you don’t need all that.

cameron, as always, couldn’t look better if she tried.

and thats the point – its like zero effort and she always looks like a freaking supermodel, with amazing facial expressions to match.

T-Rav’s family thinks the show is worse than when he went to prison

HAHAHA they aren’t necessarily wrong I just love it.

My favorite Kathryn line of the night:

” I didn’t really have a thought because irrelevance doesn’t exist in my brain”

continues blinking and jerking head and staring at ceiling

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD. I LOVE THIS.
next week is going to be nuts with this drug stuff and custody stuff and ALL THE STUFF.
but seriously those poor kids. thank goodness for that full time nanny of theirs who seems sweet as pie and in love with kenzie and hopefully does all of the child rearing like it seems.

ALSO how was it not mentioned on the show previously that the “alleged sex” between Thomas and Landon happened when Thomas took Landon on a Valentine’s trip that was supposed to be for Kathryn and T-Rav?!
WHAAAAATTTT!!!??

I guess that does add some fuel to Kathryn’s-crazy…..

and then Kathryn gives VERY detailed memories of the 2 weeks she stayed with Whitney where he denies ever being in any relationship of any kind or having any feelings or any of it happening…. like VERY detailed things that even a looney wouldn’t make up……

I mean seriously this will be the one thing where I’m team kathryn – whitney is such a liar and its so obvious.

then it starts to get more focused on Thomas and Kathryn and the 2 babies with no ring (that she so clearly wants because seriously someone help this girl what are her daddy issues because there must be something going on) and it all just gets real awkward.
for one, kathryn, its not that hard to not get pregnant but okay…. for future reference : BIRTH CONTROL.
and then it goes into how Thomas loves his kids and misses them and thats why they are with two nannies right now (seriously these poor kids!!!!) and then the drug and alcohol allegations come out and YOWZA next week will be a blowout and the segway to part II :
Kathryn gets up to sashay sashay away in her gone with the wind fabulous attire.

all I want is a gif of her in this outfit storming off or messing with her skirt or doing a crazy facial expression and my life will be made but there is NONE!
seriously my new worthless but serious passion needs to be creating gifs from TV shows because I can never find the moments I’m looking for.
anyone know how I can do this, holler at your girl.

:: RHoOC ::

Vicki, talking all quietly and slowly doesn’t make us think you are actually sorry or apologetic or deserving of compassion, but keep it up!

oh my…. every time I see Shannon start to talk in her confessional I just get nervous…. “I’m over the affair its been two years I’m over it we’re great”
ay ay ay….. just waiting for a breakdown.
“I’m happy David had an affair, because look where it got us in our marriage.”
NO SHANNON. NO. Oh I want to cry for you seriously.
but no I really do love me some shannon.
the best is when someone says something and it cuts to her in her confessional just going

“No” {I’m not explaining this one well…. if you watch ~~you know~~ maybe you get it}

it really gets me laughing. so does her get up for kitchen demo and the whole shabang.
Jeff Lewis loves her and dammit so do I!
(UM FLIPPING OUT PREMIERES IN 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!)

Yay for a new girl I love some newbies!

Holy eyebrows Kelly!

at Megan’s “demo party” Kelly goes to use the mobile saw in the wall and seriously it almost goes out of the wall into her leg it flipped the hell out of me.

I think I like Kelly already…. she spills the beans way too early about her personal life so the things to come are endless.

But no, I really like her because she seemed funny naming how she just did 3 things to piss everyone off like befriending Vicki and then asking tamra about her daughter who she didn’t know hasn’t spoken to her in two years.

Oops.
BUT REALLY :
main thing in this episode :
over Heather Dubrow’s dead body do they vacation at BEACHES.
seriously. NEVER would happen.

Last week, NY Housewives do plugs for HomeGoods and Priv …. and now the richest OC housewife whose cabinet budget is like 300K at Chateau Dubrow is going to BEACHES!?!?
um, not buying it.
but Terry’s line about not feeling guilty about his kids was sadly hilarious and Heather is going to be PEESED when she hears it 🙂 He really is funny though….. he just wants some damn onion rings and some kid-free time, is that so much to ask?!

editors note : no really….. how can I make my own gifs when I watch these shows….. this will motivate me in life greatly……

fashion, Lifestyle

:: wish list wednesday ::

June 29, 2016

lusts for the week…….

everything at or under $100

with lots and lots of summer sale pieces!!!!

my new fav dress that I’ll be wearing one night this weekend for the 4th

is sold out on revolve and shopbop

but still in all sizes HERE

{ paisley top – 40% off }

this open back dress looks just like the contrarian dresses I love,

but is a fraction of the price and more casual for everyday

{ open back mini dress } 40 % off

also comes in white

both of these adorable white rompers are under $100

{ bb dakota white romper }

{ lace romper with cutouts }

{ coral romper 40% off }

the perfect nude heels for summer are on sale and in every size!

{steve madden sandal’s} 20% off

and they are also price matching the pair with the thicker heel

{ strapless dress }

on sale from $230 down to just $90!

why wear a pair of basic flip flops for the beach and pool,

when these adorable jack rogers are a total steal!?

{jack rogers jelly flip flop}

40% off and only $29!!!

tory burch fit bit bracelet styles also on sale

fitbit bracelet 50% off and also this style also 50% off!

Lifestyle, tuesday things

:: TUESDAY THINGS ::

June 28, 2016

before I say anything, the most important things first.
UM the southern charm reunion last night :

kathryn’s outfit !!!!

kathryn’s faces above that necklace !!!!

kathryn’s outfit whilst making faces!!!!

so many words and no words for her last night!

The highlight of the weekend was meeting a new friend : a giant ass black snake at the pool, that came out of nowhere and inches from us and then when into our pool while my sister screamed so loudly that my mom thought someone fell into the pool and died and then we had to act like nothing happened so that my nephew wouldn’t be afraid of the pool forever and ever.

Once I had calmed down indoors and quit staring out the window in fear, I went on a search for Mr. Snake.

just kidding – not even close.

(like I said last week, where is a damn man when you need him!!! seriously people!! I can’t handle these things!)

I was going to do an entire post on this with a play by play but its too traumatic and even walking in the backyard has been terrifying although we’ve been *promised* he is gone.

Another weekend highlight was another 5 hours of House Hunting Sunday (on top of hours on the internet, if you’ve been there you know) with not much success, but better that past weekends (which isn’t say much)

I found a dream home online, great area so damn cute everything check check check, on the map it looked like it was far in off of a main street so we drive over and the back of a chik-fil-a is your neighbor across the street. like literally when the people have their food and they are pulling out from the back, they could like drive right into your driveway.

I know what you’re thinking because I thought it too…

this is a bad thing how? I mean…. who needs BFF’s at Potbelly’s by your place in Chicago when you could like CALL OUT to your BFF’s at Chik-fil-A from your front porch now.

the free food possibilities from these friendships could be endless…..

but Kip shot down my hopes and dreams.

I’ve seen some amazing things in some listing photos like Kenny G on a giant screen with his name in huge letters on the TV screen cooing his hits, telling me to just keep searching 🙂

I meant to screen shot this snapchat but forgot. apologies.

The worst thing about leaving Chicago : Leaving the Central Time Zone

I mean other things too I suppose 🙂 but for the sake of this post…..

This is KILLING my dinner + tv routine, and I don’t like change people!

It’s seriously impossible

in the two years that Kip and I have been married, I’ve slowly slowly slowly gotten better at turning the tv off early and getting in bed early and unwinding…..

Now ? I HAVE to watch shows until 11 because that’s when they end

IT’S HORRIBLE

Central Time Zoners, you have no idea how good you have it!

And just because I just saw it, Adele’s favorite break up songs

for those of you that, like me, love a good sappy love song

How is the 4th of July this weekend!? June went by so fast!!

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

June 24, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves……

:: RHoDallas Reunion ::

I really felt all the feels for Brandi at this reunion.

She was sitting there so quiet and meek…. and hearing about how her kids got kicked out of school for her behavior and for calling wine jesus juice made me sad.

she just seems so broken 🙁

I was SHOCKED at how much Cary cried?!

I understand why – just was surprised

She’s so “I don’t give an Eff” on the show?

and LeeAnne literally admits to NOTHING.

you say you were repeating the rumors you heard and you tweeted things about Cary having an affair, but no, you didn’t ever accuse them of having an affair?

WHA?

She literally won’t up to ANYTHING.

I mean, she even defends that “her definition of killing someone and your definition of killing someone are two different things” so I don’t know why this surprises me.

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen is like well then what did your tweet mean?

she’s like “oh that’s proof you shouldn’t drink and tweet”

and then at the end of the the Cary/Mark/Affaird debacle where she’s such a betch, she’s like “can i have a hug Cary? because I feel your pain?”

SERIOUSLY??????

right after staring at her husband and saying this is the meanest voice with the meanest face possible:

and then MARIE comes out – eyes wide and terrified.

damn I love her navy bow shoulder dress

LeeAnne : “you are who you walk into the charity world with”

Well, your best friend Tiffany is doing soft core porn on Skinemax!? Sooooo talking about poop or doing porn…hmmmm… which is a worse representation?

as someone who despises potty talk, I never thought I’d be defending all of these poop conversations

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen’s best line of the night

“in all the hours of filming housewives I’ve never asked something like this: did you poop in a bag?”

LeeAnne : “No, I pooped in a basket”

The other couch with the sense of humor is cracking up and saying “that’s awesome that’s amazing”, and LeeAnne is like giggling and smiling like “I know right ha it’s so funny now?” Well, then why are you still wanting to kill Marie over it?

Then LeeAnne continues her story (but, NEVER call it a story, only she can call it that, remember?) about this horrifying event of her boyfriend trying to murder her.

Sooooo explain to me how someone who has almost been killed, someone whose boyfriend attempted murder, says things like “I’m going to kill you” and defends it as if its some trivial sentence?

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. NO. WORDS.

Marie is clearly delusional, and rich, because she hired an entire social media team to be in charge of instagram and twitter and wrote a nursery rhyme about LeeAnne’s poop-gate.

and I WANT TO HEAR IT!

found it!

watch the video of marie reading it HERE

But seriously, Marie, I now understand why you were BFF with LeeAnne because GIRL you are nuts. It would have been SO easy for you to be the high road friend who was threatened to be killed and sat on the couch nicely and quietly, but now you’re acting cray!

Perhaps LeeAnne’s best “I’m the victim” line of the night, referring to Austin death threats:

“not only were y’all scared, I was scared too”

(WHAAATTTT!!!)

and she starts “crying” with no tears coming down AT ALL and just the high squeaky voice.

She continues the “crying “and voice cracking with no tears saying “I’m still that little girl”

OH and then my-boyfriend-andy-cohen’s second best line “and you’re in anger management?”

nodding, no tears.

I say it every week and I mean it.

LEEANNE LOCKEN IS THE CRAZIEST SCARIEST HUMAN IN HOUSEWIVES HISTORY.

and one more time for good measure

Charity (DRINK!)

:: RHoOC ::

I’m super excited this is back…. but not that much to report just yet.

Megan King Edmonds husband Jimmy is still a selfish jerk and I don’t understand how she doesn’t see any of it OR does see it and puts up with it.

“Jimmy said he didn’t want any more kids, and I told Jimmy I would leave him, so he said he’ll have a kid so I don’t leave him” Giant smiles from Megan.

GIRL? NO!

Did anyone see the Unseen Footage from Season 8 Special that they played?

Because Vicki looked amazing

like. AH MAZING. never better.

:: bachelorette ::

Chad’s gone so now everyone is going after everyone else.

come back chad! now we miss you!

Wells for the next Bachelor!

a Protein Powder funeral? He’s hilarious I love him

and I for one am NOT okay with them ganging up on sweet little Derek.

I liked Chase – no more. And Chase and little Alex need back the eff up.

and Alex…seriously… I was liking you and you seemed nice…. but you really outta stop calling people little bitches…. because we all watched you JUMP onto that high chair to sit with Jojo a few weeks ago. You can’t be wee man and mean man – lock it up.

and seriously Robbie? Saying “I love you” on your FIRST one on one date?

WHAT?

be a normal bachelor looney tune and just say “falling” in love until the final 3 fantasy suite week where you say “in love”…. everyone knows that!!!

also, how did I miss this comment?

and HOW was Evan on that long?

It was just getting mean people – he was seriously thinking she was going to mother his 4 children. It was getting RULL weird.

But, back to Chad.

via

chad posted and instagram kissing robbies ex and was on kimmel talking about it.

this guy is just seriously searching for attention and 7 minutes in the spotlight.

AND THANK GOD BECAUSE……. DRUMROLL…..

Chad is on Bach in Paradise 3 !!!!!!

I’m like ADD spazzing out all over it so excited for Bach in Paradise that I no longer care at all about Bachelorette.

not really, but you know.

:: southern charm ::

these people are truly insane.

I feel like I say that about a lot of shows….. like my first sentence in every post about every show…..but oh well it’s true

one of my favorite things is the several comments on how they didn’t even get to eat any of the amazing food and everyone left before the salad, which was literally all I could think about last week during the meltdown.

of course Thomas can’t understand why everyone left! why are they so sensitive! him hurling his face screaming and spitting at them through the gate should have shown them he wanted them to come back inside and sit down to dinner?

ps – ew to the end of the night when Thomas is like “hey… kathryn… wanna sleep over? and she says YEAH”

first of all… I’ve never birthed a child and I’m no doctor, but I don’t think thats allowed and please for the love of God quit procreating with one another.

and then later when he butters her up to keep her happy with “you’re so wise and intuitive beyond your years.”

kathryn : “Thank you for seeing that, yes, I’ve always known that.”

OK wait I want that oxygen therapy mask that Patricia has.

and why does she have a purple Dior fur? I know when you’re that rich you don’t need a reason, but really, why?

better question : why does Landon pick the purple and why does Patricia let her?

even better question : why must all these Charleston people wear fur there is no possible way you need a floor length fur coat people???

but I digress……

I love when Kathryn talks about her “calmly” talking to Landon about the Thomas situation – you have never talked calmly in your damn life!

Is this like how you don’t understand why people think you don’t behave well in social settings? We’ve yet to see you sane in ANY of them.

especially at the Founders Ball….

So: Finally! Founders Ball! The made up ball by Cooper who is openly gay but requires everyone attend the first time he did this as “woman escorted by a male” or else they couldn’t come.

Seriously?

Although it sounds like he finally realized the hypocrisy of it because people aren’t only man + woman dates this year.

She brings Landon’s friend as his date!!!! WHAT!!!! Shep!!! Not cool bro. You’re better than that.

also, shep’s date looks like the actress that plays Amy in Gone Girl and its giving me the chills.

Kathryn feels the need to upstage her attire for Thomas’ Dinner from Hell (Floor length green gown, black fur, elbow length black gloves, giant gold cuffs on each wrist) with a BRIGHT RED dress with a cape that flows behind her as she walks.

I mean, in one sense, can’t miss it. Girl loves an entrance. She is always the last one to arrive to any damn thing.

kathryn wants everyone to know she fears no one and nothing and wants them to know it instantly so she, as a red head, wears a bright red dress and slaps on a bright red lip to go with it.

OH and like these GIANT gold leather hand wraps on each hand.

seriously girl. wow.

and then it gets great IMMEDIATELY.

kathryn tells thomas to shoo and go mingle, he greets landon (cough and obviously puts his hand on her ass) and IT IS ON.

Kathryn bring Landon outside to talk.

Kathryn says “first of all I want you to know this is not a mean conversation”

Landon, over the blasting music : “what? I can’t hear you?”

Kathryn : ENRAGED!!!! FUMING. legit smoke out of ears. it’s time to throw down.

Me: hysterically laughing and slapping the couch! this girl is made for TV.

Kathryn : you propositioned Thomas!

Landon: I did nothing!

Kathryn : Goes A-Wol. Nuts. Talking so much crap. And then is like “Landon YOU are crazy I’m walking away”.

Me : grinning ear to ear WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

outside the party:

Landon: I’ve done nothing

Kathryn : Then you’re fucking crazy

DROPS MIKE

now if only Landon hadn’t done a socialite southern “time to go now dah-ling” weird ass thing at the end it would have been so much better.

what is Kathryn going to do at the reunion?!

especially since the last line was she’s date saying “I wonder if Landon will ever admit to sleeping with Thomas”

:: #RKOBH ::

how AH-MAZING was Morgan’s wedding dress?

gorgeous.

I can’t.

Stunning.

:: jackhole of the week ::

whattayaknow

its a Kardashian!

18 YEAR OLD kylie jenneris selling her first purchase of a 2.7 million dollar mansion (now selling for $4 million) because it was merely a starter home. I mean, she can’t possibly stay in that hell hole! She bought it when she was 16!

She’s now buying a $6 million dollar

:: mazel ::

BIG BROTHER IS BAAACKKKKKKKKKK

EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: so many shows, so little time ::

June 23, 2016

Those of you that have

~~no social life~~

~~an unhealthy relationship with your television like I do~~

had time to catch a little tube this week

may have noticed that this was practically the busiest TV week of the year thus far.

I mean….. even seasoned pro’s like myself could barely keep up.

And then you throw a ceiling leak and a DVR that didn’t tape a few things (don’t even get me started) so you have to actually watch it on demand with these things called “commercials” (gasp! the horror!) and it was all I could do to survive.

And THEN,
Big Brother premiered with a two hour premiere (only Part I, still more two hours to come tomorrow)

and suddenly I’m laying in bed with more anxiety from those damn competitions (3! already!?) and the multiple twists Julie Chen layed on us on night one than I had waking up from that dream in college where you forgot to drop a class and don’t realize it until the day of the Final Exam.

did you follow that last part?

but seriously…. my head is spinning.

I’ve got lots of my “special short hand notes” ready and waiting for my “editing” (aka semi-read the post maybe once at midnight so the 546 typos and grammatical errors are reduced down to 327) because there is just so much good stuff happening in the TV world right now.

Hashtag Blessed

so return tomorrow for a TGIF edition of Coffee Talk…. or should I say, a TGIC!!!

see…. this is why I can’t possible do it tonight.

Instead, I leave you with some real housewives parodies because I saw a clip of Amy Schumer’s and it got me thinking about Hotwives of Orlando ( amazing) and how I *still* have not watched Hotwives of Las Vegas. if you haven’t seen the Hotwives parodies yet, grab yourself a hangover, some Chik-fil-A with 27 dipping sauces because they’re so nice they really give you one of every kind and YES you dip a fry in every one, and your comfiest sweatpants to fit all of that Chik-fil-Aand thank me this weekend.

editors note : this must be on a Saturday of course because of Chik-fil-A closed on Sunday, so if you MUST do it on Sunday, I suppose you can pick another place with inferior waffle fries.

warning : the amy schumer one gets a little NSFW with that one word I can’t stand being said like 27 times but ya know, all in housewives humor good spirit.

Hotwives of Orlando