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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle, weekend recap

:: lately + wishlist wednesday ::

September 7, 2016

:: lately + wishlist wednesday ::
image

How are we done with Summer Holiday Weekends and it is September already?!
but really….. HOW?!

Although luckily it does not feel like fall in Atlanta at all – temps in the 90’s for the rest of the week.
I am probably the only person enjoying this, but after years and years of long winters, I’ll take the extra time with heat (and dresses and shorts!)

August was an amazingly crazy month, so I am looking forward to a more subtle and steady September.  Back on the healthy bandwagon and back on a schedule. 

We had an amazing time with our quick trip to Vegas;  Kip was working most of the time but we did squeeze in some fun! 

We stayed at the Aria – it was my first time at that hotel and I loved it! 
Because Kip was working long days we stayed at the hotel for our two dinners.
We ate at Carbone the first night, the Italian restaurant and loved it.
We had this cute little booth, amazing service, and the food was absolutely delicious. 
they also give you tons of different delicious bread throughout, 
and end with a big bottle of limoncello and cake, 
so we both were very pleased with that on top of the caprese + pasta! 


The second night we ate at Javier’s and indulged in the Jalapeño Margaritas, which I highly recommend.  Shocker. 

On our long travel day from Vegas to Michigan I had a major craving for a McDonald’s cone, and oh-my-gawd, I forgot how life changing they are.

I couldn’t even wait to take a snapchat until I was practically done.
They are hands down my new favorite hangover helper. 

We had an amazing weekend Michigan and I wish we were able to get there as easily as we could in Chicago.  

nothing beats the sunsets from their deck.
our friends from Chicago brought their great dane which made everything that much more fun – she has never had this much space to run and was a whole new dog. 
after seeing the previews for the OC Sand Dunes accident I was nervous when Kip said he was taking us to the Dunes, but luckily we did the family friend excursion 🙂  I really loved it though – unlike anything I had ever seen before and it was a good activity to get us off the beach and out of the house. 

I hope you all had great Labor Day Weekends with your loved ones, too! 
I was so, so lucky to have such an incredible month getting to spend time with some of my most favorite people.   I have all the warm and fuzzies from it. 

The negative aspect to all of this is that I have missed way too much TV. 
As in, almost a full week of EVERY show I watch. 
somehow I think I’ll plow through it at dinnertime and this weekend:) 
I’ll be starting with Bachelor in Paradise since I know that’ll be the hardest to avoid seeing online what happens…. so that’s the goal for tonight.

Even though it feels nothing like fall here at the moment,
there are some great fall pieces catching my eye! 
Some lusts for the week below 
ALL UNDER $100 

I love this slouchy top – can be dressed up or down and looks so comfortable.
Great basic for fall, and amazing price!!! 
// SLOUCHY TOP // 

//  LACE TEE  //  also available in Black 

perfect open shoulder sweater option for fall!! 
//  OPEN SHOULDER SWEATER  // 

//  TASSEL EARRINGS  //  

//  SURPLICE BLOUSE  // 

//   NECK TIE TANK  // 

//  OPEN SHOULDER SWEATER DRESS  // 

//  RUFFLE SLEEVE SWEATER  //  

//  CUT OUT SWEATER  // 

//  ASYMMETRICAL TEE  // also available in Black 
Time to press the Reset Button! 
I may not be going back to school, but this always feels like the time of year for a Fresh Start and with all of the new changes we’ve had going on I am definitely ready for one! 



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: more Coffee less Talk ::

September 1, 2016

:: more Coffee less Talk ::
Happy Coffee Talk Thursday


I sadly have missed basically EVERYTHING this week, and you know how strongly this disappoints me, especially when it disappoints you! 

I even tried to go to abc.com to try to watch Bach in Paradise online and Bravo to try to watch Housewives but I haven’t been able to because we don’t have an online username for those accounts.
but who cares….. I digress….

one of the few things I am privy to this week…. 

UM NICK AS THE NEXT BACHELOR???? 


I am so NOT okay with this.
if you’re a long time reader/Coffee Talk Connoisseur, you know my thoughts from both Andi’s season AND Kaitlyn’s about him. 
Imagine my surprise, when I go to the gym in the hotel this morning, thinking that I’ll be nauseous from my cocktails the night before and lack of sleep, when in reality, I am ALL excited to be watching KLG and Hoda on the 10 o’clock hour of the Today Show – a true luxury that I will forever miss from my school days  – and what do I see?
WHAT DO I HEAR?
That Nick is going to be the next Bachelor. 
I. Just. Can. Not. 


I have discussed this in the hours since this horrific news with a few friends and I realize that many ladies him find hot and sexual….. but I have also realized many share my thoughts and do not.
But really, its not even about his level of hotness or lack thereof.
It’s that it’s his 9,428 hour of ABC fame-whoring and they are continuing to feed it?! 
TWO seasons of The Bachelorette, and a whole other one now with Paradise, plus TONS of publicity and commentary in between…….. 
I was thinking I would be disappointed with whichever recent JoJo-reject they chose….. but THIS.
Never saw it coming.



I guess the only thing that could be worse would be Josh-MmmmmMM Noises-Murray being the next most eligible……. 


The hardest part to grasp is that I know I will watch every single minute of every hour of it….. which makes me feel bad for all of you… prepare for some serious “SERIOUSLY?” and “REALLY?!” and “I CAN’T EVEN!?!” coming at you on Thursday’s this fall….. because SERIOUSLY REALLY I CAN’T EVEN with Nick freaking Viall being the person I have to watch for 2+ Hours every week.


I will end with a kind comment in Nick’s favor: 
He has been great comedic relief involving Princess-Jasmine-Crying-Face and the other crazies on Paradise this season – telling them to LOCK IT UP. 

images via giphy 

In other News….. 
I hope you all had a great night last night watching NY Housewives Reunion Part I…. I am sure my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen did not disappoint
the way ABC continues to. okay sorry. I’ll drop it now.







by TheSarcasticBlonde 
fashion, favorite things, Lifestyle

:: Holiday Weekend Favorites ::

August 31, 2016

:: Holiday Weekend Favorites ::
My husband surprised me and took me along with him on his business trip to Vegas, so I’m lucky enough to be writing this with a view of the strip after coming up from some time poolside! 
We’ll be here until Thursday, and then are heading to Michigan for time with Kip’s family and some Chicago friends! 
I’m a lucky, lucky lady for this last week of August and won’t be forgetting it! 
Instead of a wish list, I’m going to share some favorites with you.
Today I’m sharing some favorite tops lately, all at great prices, and all perfect for the upcoming holiday weekend.
I tend to wear a lot of blue + white, with a fair amount of red, so it works out well for summer holidays 🙂 

I love this Lush top with the criss-cross front. It also has a longer back and has a little peek-aboo so its interesting from the front AND the back.
It is super, super soft, comes in several colors, and is under $40! 
 I wore this on the 4 hour flight to Vegas and it was just as comfy as I had hoped. 
I’ll likely be ordering it in more colors since it’s such an easy piece to throw on and go. 
//  LUSH CROSS FRONT TOP  // 

I love the peplum detail at the bottom of this top and also at the sleeve

 It has a good it of stretch,  so you can go down a size 

//  NAVY + WHITE PEPLUM TOP  // 

This striped tee with the lace detailing is a new favorite.
//  RED + WHITE LACE DETAIL TOP  // 

And this chambray top is on sale for $12 right now! 
It’s already been on heavy rotation. 
//  CHAMBRAY TOP  // 
as always, I am wearing these white jeans basically every day and in every photo 🙂 
And there are way too many images of my face in this post for me to handle, so I tried to crop my head out as much as possible 🙂 
Happy Hump Day! One day closer to Holiday Weekend time!  


by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle, recipe

:: crack of the week : skinny eggplant parmesan ::

August 30, 2016

:: crack of the week : skinny eggplant parmesan ::
Our neighbor has an insane garden with every vegetable and herb you could imagine.
This past weekend he dropped off eggplants for us so I knew I needed to make a dish for dinner to use them up! 
Skinnytaste is always a go-to for healthy and delicious recipes and this did not disappoint. 
Skinny Eggplant Parmesan
recipe by skinny taste 

Servings: 8 servings • Time: 60 minutes • Old Points: 6 pts • Points+: 8 pts
Calories: 265.3 • Fat: 12.4 g • Protein: 14.1 g • Carb: 35.4 g • Fiber: 4.4 g  
  • 1 large eggplant (2 lbs)
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 12 oz fat free ricotta
  • 1/4 cup + 2 tbsp Pecorino Romano
  • 1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
  • 1 medium egg
  • 2 cups reduced fat mozzarella 
  • 3 cups homemade tomato sauce (I used Rao’s Marinara, my favorite!)
  • salt
Start by making the sauce if you don’t have any already made. While the sauce simmers, slice the eggplant into 1/4 inch thick slices. Lightly salt the slices and put in a colander to release excess moisture for about 1/2 hour. Lay on paper towels to soak up any extra moisture.
Preheat oven to 450°. Brush eggplant lightly with olive oil on both sides and place on cookie sheets. Bake for 20-25 minutes, turning half way through until eggplant is golden brown.
In a medium bowl combine ricotta, egg, parsley and 1/4 cup of grated cheese.
In a 9×12 baking dish, put a little sauce on the bottom of the dish and put a layer of eggplant to cover the bottom of the dish. Top with 1/3 of the ricotta cheese mixture, mozzarella cheese and sauce. Add another layer of eggplant and repeat the ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese and sauce until everything is used up. Top with sauce and the mozzarella cheese and the remaining grated cheese.
Cover with foil and bake until cheese is melted and everything is bubbling, about 30 minutes at 400°. Remove foil and bake an additional 8-10 minutes. Take it out of the oven and let it sit about 10 minutes before cutting. Enjoy!


by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle, weekend recap

:: weekend recap + news ::

August 29, 2016

:: weekend recap + news ::
image
Hope you all had a great weekend!!! 

I was in DC for the weekend visiting one of my best friends, Colleen.
She is actually the one that introduced me to Kip, and she left Chicago for DC a year or two ago so it’s so great whenever we get to be together.  We’ve seen each other in Chicago dozens of times and we meet in other cities for girls weekends since she moved, but this was my first time going to DC and seeing her life there! 
One of our other best friends Allison that is still in Chicago flew out too, so we all we met there for the weekend and it was a perfect girls trip! 
 
dinner at Ghibellina 


 out after dinner at Farmers Fishers Bakers 


We had a pool day at a hotel rooftop, lots and lots of walking around and seeing Georgetown and the waterfront, and some delicious dinners. 
I loved DC! It was so cute and charming and different than what I had expected. 

I am 40 pages from finishing reading Truly Madly Guilt! 

Next up I’m either going to start Emily Giffin’s new book that I grabbed from Colleen’s apartment on my way out,

or I really want to read Lauren Weisbergers new book too….. I may snag it at the airport this week…. 


My most recent Rocksbox is one of my favorite yet! 
As you probably know, I have a soft spot for Kendra Scott.

I usually am lucky enough to get one piece in each box, but this time I got two different pairs of earrings from Kendra Scott! 
Score. 
use code TaylorOshayxoxo for your first month free!! 

‘
I made a delicious (and healthy + meat free!) dinner Sunday night f
or my meat obsessed roommates and they both loved it.
I’ll share the recipe tomorrow! 

And the exciting news I have been keeping from you,
we bought a house!
image via pinterest  

We are officially homeowners again – well, at least we will be by today at 5 PM when closing is finished!
So I need to think of some kind of cheesy photo like the one above to force Kip to take since we never took one for our condo in Chicago 🙂 He will be THRILLED. 

We are super excited about finding an amazing house in our ideal neighborhood and can’t wait to share more details and photos with you soon!



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

August 25, 2016

:: COFFEE TALK ::
discuss amongst ya-selves….. 


::  BACH IN PARADISE  :: 

We kick back off with Ashley / Princess Jasmine crying her eyes out that no one makes her happier than Jared and she misses him every time he leaves the room.
Good God.

She is so crazy.  A level of crazy I just can’t even comprehend because I don’t think a single Bachelor contestant is on this level. 
You hear her sobbing in the background while Jared cozies back up to Kayla.  It was sad, yet hilarious. 

Carly is now super into Evan…..

Of course she is!!! How could he have been so silly?
It was obviously Evan all along!

Rose Ceremony : Princess Jasmine Bright Red Lipstick doesn’t get a rose.
Thank God cry baby is gone.

OH WAIT.  STOP THE CAR.
She’s not leaving.  She’s walking back in.

 Lord help us all.
This is also the one moment Kayla breaks her smiley giggly I’m so perfect character and has a moment of WTF and glimpse of normalcy.
Then she gets right back to smiling and giggling. 
The only person more annoyed than me that Ashley is back is Nick.  His reactions to everything she does is top notch. 

Two new guys from Andi’s season that no one even recognizes because they got sent packing early.
One is after Kayla….
Kayla had been with Jared.
Kayla is asked on this date and she LITERALLY (but literally this time, not just like LITERALLY) changes her mind no less than 15 times, out loud, about if she is going on the date. 
She agrees to go on a date…. then not…. then yes….. she changes her mind over + over, some of them within a span of seconds.  She says “yeah lets go this’ll be fun…. pauses and takes two steps, and then… No.  I’m staying here.”

UGH.  Sorry for doing to you what she did to us…. in short : she freaking went.
she drives me nuts……

Princess Jasmine to Jared, fake consoling him that his love interest is going on a booze cruise with another Douche: “Does your heart hurt, the way mine did yesterday? You can cry…..”
No Ashley.  Not everyone is freaking Carrie from Homeland and cries 24/7 like you do!


Kayla on the Booze Cruise, still changing her mind about going on the date: 
 “I think I should leave….”  Um.  You’re on a boat.  You. can’t.  
To any drink her date offers or to any of the games that are on the boat they are supposed to be partaking in : “No, thanks.  No….. Thank you.  I’m fine.  I guess you didn’t realize this is all I do…. smile and giggle and let you look at my perfect hair.” 
I really can’t with her.  I just can’t. 
Just buck up like the twins and realize its all in good fun GEEZ. 


Back at the bunny ranch, Grant confessed his love for Lace.
In a hot tub.
GOOD LORD.

Izzy got a lady boner when one of the unknowns walked in….. so after staring at him for a hot minute she’s thinking she’s done with Vinny.  Apparently she has similar taste in mens hair styles to Jojo’s taste, and when she sees a man who requires lots of time fixing his bouffant on his head and facial hair in the bathroom, she’s like well Duh I gotta see whats up with that.

NIGHT TWO….. it just never ends 

Y’ALL. THE MOST STABLE COUPLE IN PARADISE IS BREAKING UP.  (insert gasp and hand to chest!) 
Izzy took one look at a guy she thought was hotter than Vinny, and quote “she just can’t”.
just kidding that wasn’t a quote…. but the sum of her nonsense conversation is “she just can’t”. 

Vinny is packing up and leaving because of Izzy.  Izzy saw a hot man, didn’t even speak to him, and her whole world and everything she thought she knew fell apart and now she doesn’t think she make out with Vinny in the pool all day anymore! 
Everyone is FREAKED.
Because, lets face it, if Vinny and Izzy can’t survive a week in paradise, what hope is there for the rest of us??? I am fearing for my marriages safety at this point!!! 

To calm everyones fears about LOVE, a real testament to paradise and love and marriage arrives to save the day, Tanner and Jade! They made out for two weeks and look! They got married! Theres hope for everyone! 

Kayla and Jared get chose to go on a date, and while Jared is excited for the date, I think Kayla is just excited for some more screen time.  She’s like “I’ll show you I should have been the Bachelorette!” and then YAWN. Ugh she just drives me nuts.  Love her hair though.  Love. 
Smiles, Shakes perfect hair, Giggles, says Yeah a lot, Giggles more.

Ashley/Princess Jasmine is trying to get through all of it because she knows that Jared really loves her! They are meant to be! 

Carly must be sneaking out and hitting up those Mexican drug places where you can get a bunch of prescription drugs without a prescription, and then popping them every day while mixing them with a margarita from the bartender Jorge, because she is still on this Evan train and I. JUST. CAN’T.
editors note : I just realized Kayla is spelled Caila but I don’t feel like going through and editing it 🙂 

 :: ODD MOM OUT :: 
it’s just so darn good. so. so. good.
Why is it the finale next week? 
I laugh my head off. Every week. 

:: RHOC ::

Tamra interprets Kelly Dodd’s behavior as justifiable because she sees herself in it…. Kelly has been hurt so badly that she wants to hurt others….. uhmmmm no.  That’s not an excuse.  But okay. 

I was proud of Meghan King Edmonds for not backing down with Kelly and saying that her behavior was inexcusable though.   And it being completely hypocritical.  And for saying she was literally psychotic.  Go Meghan! This Valium is giving you balls, girl!  

Maybe it’s the glasses (which look super cute BTW) but it’s more likely the valium. 
Kelly fake scrunches her face because her face doesn’t move, and fake cries like Vicki does where its the noises and the change in voice to make it seem like you’re crying but you’re not. 
She’s learning so much from her new BFF Vicki already! 

Kelly Dodd thinks that vicki is a buddha…. she is her MENTOR…… and that she needs to be soaking up all of her worldly wisdom.
{editors note : I’M SORRY WHAT?????????????????} 
SO we established at this dinner that 

The rest of the episode is Shannon’s birthday surprise party and vow renewal. Which is sweet, and I really really like Shannon.  But the only part I cared about was seeing Jeff and Gage and Jenni Poulos and seeing if they showed any of the drama between Jeff and Heather! 

Also, I’m amazed their marriage has lasted 15 years not because of an affair, but because the sheer amount of things this woman needs just to drive somewhere for 24 hours.  


 :: REAL HOUSEWIVES CROSSOVER ?? ::
There are rumors swirling that Yolanda could be joining the Real Housewives of NY next season!
and also that Bethenny won’t be returning (by her own choosing of course,  my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen has clearly drank the juice and would never fire her) 
I mean, I always want some Yolanda Hadid Foster Whatever It is Now Who Cares is my life, but I don’t think it’s a good environment for her.
The crazyness of the BH Housewives is NOTHING compared to the drama and craziness off the NY Housewives.   It’s two entirely different types of situations that stir up the “drama”.  I feel like she would be above all of it.

 Although, NY is certainly a more appropriate crossover than OC with C-words and F-bombs galore as we learned recently…..
BUT I would still love it 🙂

The bigger question would be : what would her fridge look like in an NYC condo as opposed to her blooming Beverly Hills pad??

:: ARIANA GRANDE’S NEW MAN ::

I have kind of an obsession girl crush on Ariana Grande.
Yes, she does the dumbest things ever for the whole world to see, but she has pipes that rival the best of them and she is freaking adorable and her songs NEVER get old and I just have to turn the volume up and look like a lunatic in my car when they come on.  No shame.
SO, I was very intrigued when I heard Ariana Grande is reportedly dating a new man!
A white rapper.
I like all music, although rap is certainly not my fav, but I figured I would still know who this person is and I have NO clue.  Googled him….. not a clue.
I feel as though this is a sign I am too old for my obsession with Ariana Grande.  

:: RHoNY Finale :: 
I watched this so late I don’t have time to comment!  
So sorry! 
Other than: 
– It was great
 – I can’t believe how upset and emotional Bethenny really was about all of it
– LuAnn’s is a lunatic and a raging egomaniac.  
-as it progresses, feelings against LuAnn progress : 
–  LuAnn is THE WORST.  Seriously.  “Stop talking about me!?” 
– Possibly the most self centered person on television.  Good luck with Tom! Everyone truly thinks you two deserve each other!!! 
– and so much more that I wish I had time for! 

EDITORS NOTE : 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.

images via giphy, bravo, abc 



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
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Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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