The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, Lifestyle

:: J.CREW + FACTORY FAVORITES ::

November 27, 2016

I’ve rounded up some of my favorites from J.Crew and J.Crew Factory below!

I was going to share this with more sales on Monday but things are selling so fast so I thought I’d better share now.

The deals are incredible, 40-60% OFF, and there are so many perfect pieces for the holidays!

// SEQUIN MINI // HERRINGBONE SEQUIN PENCIL SKIRT // LONG TARTAN SKIRT //

// LEATHER PLEATED SKIRT // CREAM MINI SKIRT // SEQUIN PENCIL SKIRT //

// COLORFUL FAIR ISLE // METALLIC CABLEKNIT // SEQUIN EMBELLISHED // MARLED TURTLENECK //

// PINK TRENCH // PARKA WITH FUR COLLAR // QUILTED JACKET

// CITY COAT // TARTAN JACKET //

// TARTAN BLAZER // FEATHER CAMI RACERBACK //

// CAMISOLE PJ SET // RED + BLUE EYE MASK // PLAID EYE MASK // VINTAGE PJ SET //

// GREY CITY COAT // METALLIC CABLEKNIT SWEATER // SEQUIN MINI //

// WHITE BOW SHOULDER // LACE PEPLUM // BLACK VELET //

// GREEN VELVET PEPLUM // SEQUIN CREWNECK SHELL // PLAID BOW SHOULDER //

fashion, Lifestyle

:: BLACK FRIDAY FAVORITES ::

November 25, 2016

** UPDATED WITH MORE SALES **

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and that all the turkey and stuffing (and Pinot Grigio) left you in a yummy food coma with a good nights sleep.

and serious question,

does anyone really do this?

when you can shop from the comfort of your jammies on your sofa with Christmas movies playing in the background!?

Alrighty! Let’s get down to business ladies!!

:: ANTHROPOLOGIE ::
30% off everything
MY FAVORITE : FEATHER HEM DRESS and PINEAPPLE MEASURING CUPS and ECLAT MIDI SKIRT

:: ASOS ::
20% off everything sitewide

:: OLD NAVY ::

up to 50% off everything

MY FAVORITE: RELAXED PEPLUM STRIPE TANK and OPEN FRONT LONG CARDIGAN

:: SHOPBOP ::

up to 25% off with code GOBIG16

:: BAUBLEBAR ::

30% off your purchase with code THANKS30

MY FAVORITES : STRIPED BALL EARRINGS and MONOGRAMMER GIFT SET and SIGNET RING

:: J.CREW ::

40% off everything with code HOLIDAY

MY FAVORITES : PLAID BOW SHOULDER TOP and RUFFLE SLEEVE TOP

:: SERENA AND LILY ::

20% off sitewide

:: J.CREW FACTORY ::

50-60% off everything sitewide

MY FAVORITES : SEQUIN MINI and TWEED SLEEVE TSHIRT

:: MARK AND GRAHAM ::

25% off your order, free shipping, free monogramming, free gift wrap

MY FAVORITE : THE CHARGING BRACELET

:: NORDSTROM ::

extra 20% off sale, plus 40% off designer clearance

:: EXPRESS ::

50% off sitewide

MY FAVORITE : “EXTRA FRIES” GYM TANK and SHIFT DRESS

:: GAP ::

50% off everything

MY FAVORITE : SEQUIN STRIPE TOP and FUNNEL NECK PULLOVER

:: LOFT ::

50% off everything

MY FAVORITE : STAINED GLASS LACE CAMI and THEIR PERFECT PARTY DRESSES

:: POTTERY BARN ::

20% off entire order + free shipping

MY FAVORITE : CABLE KNIT THROW

:: NET-A-PORTER ::

up to 50% off

:: BARNEYS ::

50% off sitewide

:: LANDS END ::

30% off everything + 50% off home + sleep

MY FAVORITE : CABLEKNIT SLIPPER SOCKS

:: NEIMAN MARCUS ::

up to 40% off regular priced items

:: BLOOMINGDALES ::

15% off $150, 20% off $200+,

and up to 50% off select items

MY FAVORITES : ANYTHING FROM AQUA, ESPECIALLY THE DRESSES

// LACE CAMI DRESS //

:: DESIGN DARLING ::
20% off everything sitewide through Monday

I already ordered my 2016 Simplified Planner and I am in love. This is the same planner I used last year, but they were already sold out of the stripe design, so I was so excited to get my hands on the striped on!

Lifestyle

:: Thanksgiving + Early Black Friday ::

November 24, 2016

Happy Thanksgving!

I hope you all have a wonderful day spent with family and friends and lots and lots of stuffing.

And that family drama is kept to a minimum (or to a maximum if it doesn’t involve you and you get to just be witness to the craziness from a corner of the living room…. that can be fun too. and if this is the case, please e-mail me your incredible dysfunctional family stories).

I am spending Thanksgiving at home with my mom in PJ’s all day since I was unable to make it to Chicago with Kipper due to my lovely health this week.
It sounds awful to not even want to think about food on Thanksgiving, but it will probably be a wonderful day on the couch or in bed with the glow of the TV warming our hearts.
Hashtag Blessed.

…… Some thanksgiving themed links + a sneak peek at Black Friday below!

{one}

Want to be the quintessential hostess like the Barefoot Contessa?

image

Of course my girl Ina knows how to host a dinner like no one else.

I completely agree with her music choices that span all generations, and a plan to cut off any politcal conversations.

Preach, Ina. Pah-REACH.

editors note: when I clicked on the site for the source of that photo from Google Images, I was taken to a blog post I found to be very entertaining. If you have time, please read. The author has an Ina Garten Thanksgiving Potluck with lots of sarcastic commentary and maybe it’s because I haven’t eaten solid food in 3 days and I’m so dehydrated I can barely see the computer screen because of this flu, but it made me laugh.

{two }

10 Christmas movies to watch on Netflix
I watched A Christmas Kiss last night and loved it 🙂 Cheesy Christmas perfection

and don’t forget…. we’re almost to Gilmore Girls premiere night on Netflix!

{three}

It may be too late to order or replicate for Thanksgiving,

but I think this “PieCaken” that combines 4 different desserts into one will be the hit of any holiday party in December.

I seriously want to order one.

{four}

31 Thanksgiving Gifs that perfectly explain the experience of the day

{five}

The 9 best television episodes of Thanksgiving ever

:: EARLY BLACK FRIDAY SALES ::

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

well…. the “real” most wonderful time is one month away,

but for ladies, this is a close second!

The best sales of the year are the almost-most wonderful time of the year!

and this year they have started early!

:: SHOPBOP ::

up to 25% off with code GOBIG16

:: OLD NAVY ::

up to 50% off everything

:: J.CREW ::

40% off everything with code HOLIDAY

:: J.CREW FACTORY ::

50-60% off everything sitewide

:: GAP ::

50% off everything

:: LOFT ::

40% off everything

:: SERENA AND LILY ::

20% off sitewide

:: NORDSTROM ::

extra 20% off sale, plus 40% off designer clearance

:: NET-A-PORTER ::

up to 50% off

:: BARNEYS ::

50% off sitewide

:: NEIMAN MARCUS ::

up to 40% off regular priced items

:: BLOOMINGDALES ::

15% off $150, 20% off $200+,

and up to 50% off select items

Happy Shopping and Happy Eating!

Lifestyle

:: thanksgiving surprises ::

November 23, 2016

image

I apologize for my unintended absence yesterday….

I had a surprise visitor Monday night in the form of Stomach Flu.

I think it may have been confusing holidays, because I will be in a bikini for Christmas, so if it had to happen I would have been fine with it being a few days before the beach. damn!

I was unable to do anything.

And you know I’m really out of commission when laying in a ball in silence comes over computer + DVR time.

I don’t know if this is where my bug came from,

but Sabra Hummus has been recalled for Listeria.

so…. all I kept thinking yesterday was

“Hummus…..I got the Hummus”

there’s a Friends comparison in every situation 🙂 silver lining

insert inappropriate joke about me knowing what gets out hummus.

I’m slowly on the mend now (I hope and pray), but Thanksgiving plans have changed.

Kipper has already headed up to Chicago, and I will be staying home with my mom for Thanksgiving. But I should be able to fly up Friday morning for his cousins wedding weekend in Wisconsin.

I’ll be posting later today with some great sales, but a couple to get you started!

J.CREW : 40% OFF EVERYTHING

they’ve never done a sale like this before!

J.CREW FACTORY : 50-60% OFF EVERYTHING

Happy Day Before Thanksgiving 🙂

I’ll be back with more hopefully later today!

fashion, Lifestyle

:: holiday favorites ::

November 21, 2016

image

I still can’t believe it is Thanksgiving week!

I wanted to share two new favorites for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday that I had mentioned on Friday!

This dress is a perfect option for Thanksgiving. It’s a tiny bit loose and forgiving, but it still is fitted enough to highlight your waist and give you shape. Super flattering.

It also is great with tights and boots for colder temperatures.

ignore my pasty legs…. I went from super tan from so much sun this summer to avoiding the sun entirely and it’s time for me to get some self-tanner ASAP.

// DRESS available in four colors // HEELS currently 50% off // NECKLACE //

This blazer is something I can tell I will be living in.

I love the notched collar and the longer hem; it hits on the perfect spot on your hips. I also love the ability to push the sleeves up to give it a great casual look and easily differentiate it from a “work blazer”.

It’s easy to dress up with jewelry and heels, or wear with flats and a v-neck t-shirt underneath during the day.

NOTCHED BLAZER // RACERBACK CAMI // JEANS // EARRINGS

here’s a picture with the sleeves pushed up!

I realized last night at 8 PM that my-boyfriend-andy-cohen was in Atlanta for TWO book signings.

and I missed them both.

UGH.

I’m telling myself I wouldnt have been able to go because we had family in town….

but in reality, I could have totally made the 7:30 PM signing.

SHAME ON ME.

Hope you had a great weekend + Have a Happy Monday!!

Cheers to a short week 🙂

friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: FRIDAY THINGS ::

November 18, 2016

Cheers to Friday!

weekend therapy print

the highlight of my week this week was ~~the new blog name~~
a box of picture frames falling on my face right as I looked up and slicing my nose open.
I now have a huge gash/scar in the middle of my face and two days later it itches SO BADLY that I want to claw my face off, but I can’t because that will for sure cause a scar to form.

Also, did you know a teeny-weeny-tiny tube of Maderma for Scars is $28 at CVS?
Twenty Eight.
If I get a scar after this, Maderma is getting an angry letter.
or entering the scar treatment business myself and making gazillions.
but I digress……

Thanks to two lovely readers, I got to see a full YouTube video of where Tom and Katie from Vanderpump Rules “BUBBA” spray paint art came from.

Literally it’s the little things like that that make blogging the greatest thing in the world.

truly. MADE. MY. DAY.

I will say that the transformation overall looked pretty good though.

and I highly reccommend you watch it, because now I actually will watch other home makeovers from these people when I have nothing left on my DVR.

as of Friday morning, the best shirt in all the world was restocked in ALL sizes!

get after it!
I know this shirt is everywhere, but it’s for good reason.
I am in love with it – such an amazing $19 purchase.

// STRIPED SHIRT //

size down, runs big

I ordered a few things from Nordstrom to try for Thanksgiving.

This sweater and this dress were a miss (the dress was like a potato sack, but quite comfy).

Good news is, this BB Dakota Dress and this Black Blazer were hits.

I’ll take some pictures this weekend and share. I think the dress could be perfect for Thanksgiving Day.

The previews for Collateral Beauty look like the biggest tear-jerker of a Christmas movie. But darn it looks good!!!

Are you in love with the Rag + Bone Newbury booties like me and everyone else in the world?
Do you refuse to pay the price? Me too!
My black knock off pair from Vince Camuto 2 years ago has seen better days, and for some reason they stopped making the exact replica (I’m guessing they got in trouble because they are seriously identical).
Luckily, I came across two pairs of booties that are very very similar and a fraction of the price. Both are under $100 and one is under $60!

// BLACK BOOTIES // TAN BOOTIES //
both come in several different colors!

Just in time for the upcoming mayhem,
7 Tips for the Holidays every Stylish Hostess should know!

We have so many leaves in our backyard, and there are so many squirrels in our neighborhood, that when I am home I keep thinking I hear someone walking back there and freaking out. But no, it’s just us not taking care of the lawn. Don’t worry, we DID do all the leaves and mowing in the FRONT yard where people can see it 🙂 #adulting.

I am FINALLY over my 2 week cold, and finally back at my ClassPass classes.
I am obsessed with these workout leggings, which is surprising because almost all of my fitness bottoms are black or a dark neutral.
Are white workout leggings a danger? These would need a try in person because I feel like they could go really wrong.

// ZELLA LEGGINGS //

I love this new printed workout top too!

We have in-laws coming in today to stay for the weekend!
It is going to be a gorgeous 78 degrees today, and then we are dropping big time by Saturday. So hopefully we will be dining al fresco tonight and spending as much time outdoors today as possible!