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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

:: adult spring breaking ::

April 3, 2017

:: adult spring breaking  ::


I am lucky enough to be down in Grand Cayman with my family for the week!

We come down here every year for Christmas, but this is an unexpected surprise April trip for Spring Break.

So I’ll be blogging for the week from the beach!
and you can always follow along on instagram

Hope you all had a great weekend!!

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

:: Wishlist Wednesday ::

March 29, 2017

:: Wishlist Wednesday ::

lusts for the week……..

The second I saw this dress I ordered it.
I am hoping it’s as cute in person because I think it is perfection.
and it’s under $100 ! My fav! 

// ONE SHOULDER STRIPE DRESS // 
selling fast, also available here and here 

I love having lightweight sweaters for when the temperature drops at night,
and this one is a perfect pick.  I love the length, texture, and price!


// SUMMER WEIGHT SWEATER//  

Today, I have some dress picks for the Coachella/Festival bound lady by request.
I am neither Coachella nor any festival for that matter bound, but hey, I love myself a dress.
And there’s a chance I may be going to one day of the music festival in April here so, why not!?
(My husband has friends coming in to stay for the weekend for Sweetwater 420 Fest, but if I’m honest, I am not a good festival-er.  And I have to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes like a child which just really just puts a damper on everything.  But mostly, I don’t think I’m that fun anymore.) 

BUT I DIGRESS….. on to some dresses !

 

ONE  //  TWO  //  THREE


ONE  //  TWO  //  THREE

 
ONE  //  TWO  //  THREE  // FOUR

 For the non-dress festival go-er,
I think a bodysuit with shorts, jeans or a skirt would be the absolute perfect pick.
COLLAR CUT OUT   //  RUFFLE SHOULDER   //  BASIC BLACK (OR WHITE)

STRIPED   //  STRIPED OFF THE SHOULDER    //  RUFFLE OFF THE SHOULDER 

and for a fun business in the front/party in the back look
I love this bodysuit!

// STRAPPY BACK BODYSUIT // 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::

March 24, 2017

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::


Y’all.  Prepare yourself.  Because my husband is watching the Kansas basketball game and I am trying to be nice by staying in the room and “watching” too, so basically this is just a full brain dump of the most random thoughts ever.

:: ONE :: 
A brief update and continuation on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills from Coffee Talk :
I said yesterday in Coffee Talk that when Rinna accused Dorit yesterday of everyone leaving the table to do cocaine that I was shocked. And that I thought it was such a load of BS because I felt there is no way in the world Dorit would be doing that.  But I have gotten lots of feedback from readers and through today’s podcasts that I may be very blind, deaf, and dumb.

For one, yes, I can actually totally see PK doing cocaine and I just hadn’t even thought of him during the accusation.  But with PK, I guess I could see it being an option.  Also, apparently I am dumb to thing that 10 people leaving a table could possibly mean anything else but cocaine in the bathroom.

But I was just thinking that like, the women went to reapply lipstick and the men all went to pour a scotch, but if that was the case, why weren’t Rinna and The Little Old Man included?  Soooo thanks for opening my eyes to the possible truth.  (but still… am I naive for thinking Dorit would never?)

RIP Whitney. I miss your reality show every day.

:: TWO ::
I always tape the 10 o’clock hour of the Today Show because it’s so educational stupidly good and I love me some KLG and Hoda.  (Thank GAWD KLG is back because I couldn’t handle another week without EITHER of them there.)  This week there was some segment about “too much of a good thing” and they said that too much water is bad for you.  So, I know that obviously downing tons of water is bad because you can drown yourself (I think we’ve all heard about the hazing story of that). However, they said that you are having too much water if your urine is clear.

What?!? I was always told that’s how you know you’ve had enough water.  My urine is clear every day? And quite easily; it doesn’t take chugging water to the face to do it.  So now I’m scared that I’m killing myself slash couldn’t care less because there’s no way I could drink less.  I do think I have a problem with an unquenchable thirst mechanism though….. but I’ve yet to have a doctor tell me something is wrong.
Aren’t you so THRILLED with this topic and story? Me too.  Moving on…..

:: THREE ::
I talked about my love of the summer beach hats on Wednedesday, and I stumbled across this site, Born + Made, with adorable custom bags/hats/you name it. This would be such a cute gift for a bride-to-be!

:: FOUR :: 
I don’t remember what I was watching, but they were talking about “Netflix and Chill” and its true meaning.  I’ve probably said Netflix and chill several times on the blog previously, with my intention being I’m literally going to watch Netflix by myself like a lazy ass on the couch, and now I realize it’s about sex? Like, strictly about sex?

I guess La La saying this should have clued me in….

I thought it was only sometimes and only meaning “I’m lying when I say I just want to watch Netflix but really I’m hoping for more”?  Is this true?? I’m so stupid.  I am not ashamed to share most things on this blog, but this is just embarrassing.

:: FIVE ::

HELP! We have a current infestation of boxelder bugs sunning themselves on the front of our house.  In the past week, they have moved from the front of our house to the warmth of our front door, which does not bode well for trying to enter and exit your own home.  So… I was wondering if any of you have had any problems with the same thing? Because our pest control guy said there isn’t really anything he can do about it.  You all are always so helpful with everything else so I just had to ask!

you should see me trying to kill them…. spraying and running as if they are trying to eat me.

:: LINK LOVE :: 

Fixer Upper is getting a Spin Off!! hasthtag PREACH!

This under $40 (or under $30 with code) jacket just arrived on my doorstep and I’m in love.

I am so obsessed with this beautiful sweater.  This makes me okay about cooler temperatures coming back, plus it would be a classic sweater year after year.

How to clean your make-up brushes with household products.  Because let’s be honest, my makeup brushes are washed even less frequently than my bras.  No shame.

Perfect Spring Dresses :
floral under $30  //  lace under $100 // under $35 in all new colors (I have 3!)  // under $60 and love for day or night // $100 and available in two bold pastels

Just when we think we have seen it all from Goop, they shock us once again with this s-e-x article.
(editors note: Mom. Don’t click it.)

A tank to live in all summer, in 5 colors, under $20! And until the crazy summer heat, we can wear this sweater tank.

A perfect combination of two of this years best trends.  

I saw this segment on TV about magnetic lashes and my mind is blown!

This wedding guest ready dress has been restocked in all sizes!

I am determined to make this healthy cookie dough this weekend. I already have all of the ingredients on hand! but I am also determined to find myself a girl scout this weekend and attack them for all of their tagalongs…. so…. balance? 

Love the tie front and back buttons on this adorable top.

I strangely love reading about people’s daily routines. Kristen Bell shares hers, along with a perfect morning drink and trick to kick any sickness.

I love a maxi and nothing is more flattering than a wrap dress. Perfect combination in a fun print. 

Cheers to Friday my loves!
Let’s all strut into the weekend like Camille walking… well… frankly any-damn-where.

Did you hear she is likely back as a full timer next season? Please Please Please!

 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::

March 17, 2017

:: Friday Randoms + Link Love ::

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!!

St. Patrick’s Day Cocktail via Style Me Pretty . See the recipe here. 

 This is one of my favorite holidays – especially with all of the celebrations we used to have in Chicago!  I had serious FOMO seeing all of the Chicago celebrations last weekend and the river dyed green – this weekend holds some of my favorite memories.

Luckily, we are flying to NYC this morning to see friends and spend the weekend with them! (I am milking the perks of Kip traveling + me having a Southwest Companion pass to the fullest.)  And I found my stick on green mustaches from the party we hosted last year at our place in Chicago, so I am already considering this St. Patrick’s Day a success.


Speaking of green: Thin Mints. I practically had a  breakdown this week needing to get my hands on some girl scout cookies.   It led to a “find a troop near you” online search and debating how far I was willing to drive on a Tuesday night since I would miss them this weekend at my local Kroger.  When I voiced my spiraling cookie depression to Kip, he said he saw them at Kroger while I was in Boston, and also said they sent an order form around at his office. (dramatic pause).
So, anyways,  I took a deep breath, calmed my inner Cookie Monster, and went online and found some “homemade girl scout cookies” recipes.
 
….. and then I was too lazy to go to the store, get the ingredients, and make them.  sigh.

And speaking of healthy unhealthy delicious desserts, I baked my Crack Cake the other weekend for a dinner party, so I took all new photos.  (The original post not only had interesting photos, but it was 2012 and Emily Maynard’s season of the Bachelorette was premiering that night!)  I was very proud of myself for it flipping out *almost* perfectly.  I need to look away because now I’m already craving it again.  It really is the best cake in the world.

Sorry that all I had to talk about today was food and alcohol basically… oops. #SorryNotSorry

:: FRIDAY LINKS :: 

Did you know that Victoria Beckham has a line for TARGET?! {Not only do they have amazing women’s clothing, her baby, toddler, and girls line is too cute for words.}
My favorites :
scallop edge romper // gingham top // scallop trim dress // navy and white lace sweatshirt // black collared dress
…. but really if you have little girls, please buy everything because the kids stuff is hands down the best.
I can only imagine how quickly all of her stuff will sell out!

I have incredible news! Leah Remini’s Scientology show has been renewed for a second season. I have already gone through every podcast she has been on in the last year, so I am due for some new material.

This embroidered top is calling my name – it’s so fun and colorful.

This video of dance scenes from old movies dancing to Uptown Funk is adorable (and perfectly on beat!)

St. Patrick’s Day Nail Art (I did a version of this one year. Yes, green nails. I take it to the extreme.)

This  cell phone case  is so cute, incorporating all of the pom and tassel trends!

If you are celebrating with some St. Paddy’s cocktails this weekend like yours truly, Tone It Up has some advice on sipping but not slippin’. 

A sweet reader sent me this amazing striped maxi skirt on super sale from Nordstrom Rack that would be perfect for wedding season, and I currently have it sitting in my cart.  It’s too cute for words.  This floral version would be cute for a beach wedding.
I had forgotten how amazing Nordstrom Rack can be for designer finds.  The splurge sandals I posted about on Wednesday are available in three different styles – but for complete Steals!!
Double Strapped Sandal   // Navy and Eyelet Sandal // Floral Sandal (I have this pair in white!)
Joie also has a bunch of their silk shorts in solids and beautiful prints for an insane 72% off right now!

Am I the only one really sick of Tarek and Christina? Maybe it’s because Flip or Flop is still always on TV, but seeing them instagram their meeting with a life coach together this week has me doing huge eye rolls.
…. Speaking of HGTV, the new Home Town show premieres next Tuesday! Which I hope doesn’t mean the new season of Fixer Upper is over, but probably does!

Matthew Perry apparently beat up Canadian PM Justin Trudeau when they were little.

16 best things to happen in the 90’s. Someone get me a Ring Pop!

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
health, Lifestyle, recipe

:: Banana Peanut Butter Overnight Oats ::

March 14, 2017

:: Banana Peanut Butter Overnight Oats ::

Peanut Butter Overnight Oats // via Tone It Up

Today I wanted to share one of my favorite weekday morning breakfasts.  These are so simple to prepare the night before (or even 2 days before – you can make them in bulk for the week!) and pop in the fridge.  In the morning, you can just grab and go.  I also love these because sometimes I don’t want a big breakfast or I am running late in the morning, so I can have a few bites or half of the overnight oats and then save the rest for a mid morning snack at work. or eat it in the car 🙂  It also makes a great snack any time of the day.

A few things that I do differently.
1. I use PB2 instead of peanut butter.  I am in love with PB2, especially for things like smoothies or overnight oats where you are mixing it with a lot of other ingredients.  You get all of the peanut butter flavor but with a fraction of the calories.  In something like this, you can’t even tell any difference.  You could also use almond butter.
2. I dice the banana the morning that I am going to eat the overnight oats.  I’m sure it’s fine diced the night before, but especially for the jar I’m not eating for about 36 hours, it just seems like the texture of a banana is mushy enough…. you know what I mean? ALSO, if you dislike bananas, just leave them out!
This recipe is from Tone It Up.  I love their nutrition plan and their workouts, but they also post lots of “free” recipes like this that you don’t have to be a member of their nutrition plan to have access to.

 

Save Print
:: Banana Peanut Butter Overnight Oats ::
Author: Taylor // The Sarcastic Blonde
Recipe type: Breakfast
Prep time:  5 mins
Total time:  5 mins
Serves: 2 Servings
 
No cooking required for a recipe that packs in tons of protein and fiber! Perfect for busy weekday mornings.
Ingredients
  • Ingredients for 2 Jars :
  • ⅔ cup rolled oats
  • 2 Tbsp. peanut butter ( I use the PB2 equivalent)
  • 4 tsp. chia seeds
  • 2 tsp. honey or maple syrup
  • 1 cup unsweetened almond milk
  • 1 scoop vanilla Perfect Fit Protein
  • 1 banana, sliced
Instructions
  1. STEP 1: Combine everything in a bowl.
  2. STEP 2: Split mixture into two mason jars. Let sit in the fridge overnight.
3.5.3226

Speaking of Tone It Up,
I just saw that they posted a video from their ‘Wine Not Wednesday” series with Kate Voegele!  

Kate went to college with me and was in my sorority – and was actually the “little” of one of my best friends – so I always love when I hear her songs come on Spotify or see her face somewhere.  She is so adorable and her music is really good. So check her out if you haven’t before!

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
fashion, Lifestyle

:: ST. PADDY’S DAY STEALS + DEALS ::

March 11, 2017

:: ST. PADDY’S DAY STEALS + DEALS ::

Today I have some green finds that you can wear next Friday for your St. Patrick’s Day Celebrations!!

// V NECK SHIFT DRESS // 

I have this split back tank in red and black an I love it (and the under $15 price!)  You can still wear your regular bra with it an it shows the perfect little amount of skin.  The green would be so cute for St. Paddy’s Day!


// SLIT BACK TANK // 

// SIDE SLIT BOW SWEATER // 


// SHORT SLEEVE BLOUSE // 


// WORKOUT TANK // WORKOUT LEGGINGS // 


// TIE FRONT BLOUSE // 


// EYELET TRIM TANK //  under $15 


//  COLD SHOULDER RUFFLE TOP  // 

I have these jeans and they are so comfortable, plus they are under $35!!


// MID RISE ROCKSTAR JEANS // 


// CHATEAU PARKA W REMOVABLE FUR // 


// PLEATED HEM TANK // 

 

by TheSarcasticBlonde 
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Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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