coffee talk Archives - Page 26 of 45

:: coffee talk ::

May 26, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves…….

:: bachelorette ::

after fast forwarding through the first 30 minutes with a sit down with the old “no-one-cares-your-7-minutes-are-over-especially-you-desiree”

side note: desiree needs to add 2 inches to her clothing overtime I see a photo of her, her dresses are a mere centimeters below her undies and its just not right. like seriously her clothes are that short.

and then fast forwarding through all of the no-one-cares-about-your-BS-convo-with-chris-harrison-either….. we arrive at meeting the men and their limo exits.

my favorite out of the video montages before they get out of the limo is Evan, an erectile dysfuntion specialist. oh, and also, a former PASTOR turned erectile dysfunction specialist

he notes that it’s a “hard” business. oh evan.

one of my bach brackets I had to pick the whole season start to finish before even seeing the first episode. I knew those shady producers would keep this freak on, so I definitely put him through to round 2, and whattaya know – he gets a rose!

they wasted too much time on the BS stuff in the beginning and we didn’t get to see as much time with the drunken bafoons – thats the best part of night one! but there was plenty of douchey behavior to go around.

jordan, aaron rogers brother, is clearly the front runner and JoJo is ALL about him.

i have him making it to top 3 in my bracket, but it just seems too easy, and I refuse to read any spoilers or anything, so my guess for the others are Derek, Chase, Robby, Luke. One other I can’t remember?

I would think that Jordan’s super hot, but the hair is just too much for me. I feel like he would take up all the bathroom space needing to fix his hair in the mirror.

like….. thats is A LOT of look. I need more manly and far less maintenance than that.

jake. freaking. pavelka. go. freaking. away.

at least he isn’t actually here for love…. just love for her

(YOU ARE SO ANNOYING PRODUCERS THIS IS SO STUPID)

no one talks like that – no one. its such a scary voice.

remember the sit down after him and vienna broke up? yikes

when the rejects are interviewed outside, like the guy who is asian and scottish and says don’t worry my nether regions are scottish (how did you not get a rose??), the sun is already up.

I know this happens every season first night but it seriously blows my mind.

how are all of these people still standing? and none of them (except the drunks) have crazy eyes?

even if I had zero drinks, I would be looking like a hot. ass. mess. come 5 AM that day.

but who am I kidding no way would I have gone that whole ridiculous night until 5 am with no drinks…. not even close…..

anyways….. strike 1 for JoJo. Close family friends with Jake Pavelka? I’m going to pretend the last 5 minutes never happened.

Also, clearly the guys are all going nuts and talking about how she is the hottest bachelorette ever. which, I must agree, I think that she probably is. however one think that seems to make her differ from the rest and why the guys will really go nuts for her : boobs. a mans best friend.

I feel like every bachelorette has been flat chested? kaitlin, desiree, allie, ashley….

its like high school all over again, flat girl runner up reject….. just kidding….. but seriously it’s weird that they’ve always been flat runner ups and she’s the first with some boobs?

editors note : I KNOW, I KNOW. I’m chest obsessed. sorry I’m not sorry.

:: southern charm ::

craig is CORRECT about kathryn calhoun dennis
and whitney’s shocked expressions speaks volumes if ya ask me!

cameron and whitney are FURIOUS about the LIES.

the lies that are clearly displayed on video footage that they just aired for us the week prior?

confirming everything that kathryn said?

whitney just drives me nuts

and now cameron is really starting to drive me nuts (don’t do this to me cameron! first lisa rinna goes off the deep end, now your slowly inching your way there by being BFF with whitney and all up his and his moms rear ends!)

what was on whitneys mouth later in the episode on the porch patio during the “apology” it was like herpes suddenly appeared ?

:: RH Dallas ::

these girls just have no idea what they are doing on this show.
it’s super slow, then it’s pure mayhem, but I’m really getting into it.

Heidi, the “wealthy socialite charity woman” comes rolling in hot with gold chain with giant $ sign and hands out skank tee shirts to the ladies.

Heidi then explains that the other women (Cary) “got their rich husbands because they were on their knees under their husbands desk.”
I mean, I’m glad the show is finally getting stepped up a notch, but my goodness

YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL TRASH AND ZERO SOCIALITE.

I mean I know anyone joining this show is trash, and no normal person with any class every would, but STILL.

and I like Cary, so LOCK IT UP

……

and then right after I type that “I like Cary”, her and her husband are talking dirty to each other in the operating room at work.

no, but really, stop.

but I do like her… I just don’t understand the husband situation but hey girl you do you and you do those crazy yoga poses and you just get it girl.

LeeAnne seriously acts like she has come from the ashes to become like …….. Oprah.

but truly. she thinks her story is like oprah.

she is SO self involved its SCARY.

she is the craziest housewife in housewives history hands down.
I seriously mean it. She is NUTSSSS.

take that in for a minute……. .

OMG tiffanys faux-hawk

LeeAnn just starts getting all riled up before the party for no reason
(oh, no, wait. reason: she’s insane)
and talking smack about Cary

I really like her boyfriend – he’s always seemed too sane, handsome, normal.
boyfriend responds : “I think she’s great”
hahaha.
but seriously! be careful boyfriend! I know you’re a cop and everything but I don’t think you realize what your lady pal is capable of! I fear for you!

cut to cary holding hot fuchsia blush up to her face imitating LeeAnne

YES YES YES !

cut back to Leanne with fuchsia blush in streaks on her cheeks

YES YES YES !

its just a tiny 10 second moment like this that makes the whole hour worth it.

cut to this ridiculous party with fuchsia streaks of makeup standing next to Heidi’s freaking make-up concoction.

I seriously can’t believe how into this show I am.

and then Heidi says Cary is going to deep throat a corn dog?

SERIOUSLY WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??!!

especially this woman!!!!

and she’s supposed to be the wealthiest -chi chi chi -est we’ve seen on the show yet?

oh my gosh

this is like real time blog post because Im not even going through to edit this part….

then right after I type the corn dog thing heidi says to come sit __________
I CANT EVEN TYPE IT.

I literally cannot with this Heidi woman!

:: WWHL ::

you can tell certain parts of this posts I am actually writing in real time while I watch a show for once because I’m going to say something I’ve been meaning to say for a long time but A. I’m a moron and always forget to, because I write last minute after watching everything previously or
B. was too afraid to say because its not nice about my-boyfriend-andy-cohen

its more B.

it drives me *nuts* when my boyfriend andy cohen says “haha. that’s funny.” and then stares at his notecard so disinterested and unamused or bored.

its SO obvious you do not think it’s funny and are just like ehhh whatever so STOP saying it

especially the way he does the Ha-Ha (theres no way anyone knows what Im talking about except those who watch WWHL regularly)

he does the Ha-Ha like some old TV or cartoon character that I can’t think of?!?!

sorry my-boyfriend-andy-cohen, but it’s true.

:: RHONY ::

SOOOOO I start this weeks episode and its like “previously on” and I suddenly see Ramona going NUTS at John and Dorinda’s party and I realize , wait a minute, did I never finish last weeks episode?

Thank Lawd I still had it saved because I missed the ENTIRE last 20 minutes where it goes down at John’s Dry Cleaners!
why is there a party at the dry cleaners? what else did I miss?

We are then introdcued to a guy LuAnne used to sleep with – REY – this guy is SO weird and creepy and I’m very confused as to how he sleeps with women……
I don’t know how a countess’s standards can be THAT LOW…. and I am fearful for the amount of diseases she must have based on the sexual escapades this show has displayed.

{but seriously, this Rey character takes the cake. Oh my.}

I don’t even know what is going on and then Ramona IS COMING IN HOT and it all goes to $hey*te.

Ramona is INSANE. But yes John is awful.

Seriously ramona looked like a chihuahua outside the dry cleaners chomping at the bit after she got kicked out and her and John kept at it.

I’m with Jules….

I have never seen the elderly behave like this. ever.

so I have nada from this week since I’m a moron and missed the whole big show last week!

EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

May 12, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves…….

first of all, all of your commentary about the Tiny House Hunters post was amazing and I have so many things to reply to. so glad I am not alone in this.

all I think about is ‘center for ants’ even though it has nothing to do with it.

so…. on to Housewives talk

:: RH of Dallas ::

I meannnnnn we pick up with LeeAnne and Tiffany’s fight

{while the valet man texts and ignores – loved it}

wheres the valet guy in the gif when ya need him?

LeeAnne’s flip out was IN. FREAKING. SANE.

she went POSTAL. and she seriously attacked that camera man!

if a celeb had done that to a pap, there definitely would have been someone pressing charges.

damn girl!

for all of those charity and society and maturity and appropriateness talks, you are FREAKING NUT JOB.

then she almost gets hit by a cable car, then hits the cable car before kicking her heels of and walking barefoot to her car ~~like the carny she is~~

ummmm. not very charitable behavior LeeAnne. (DRINK!)

This tension with Brandi’s husband is just too intense.

Huge moment in her life that clearly is very important to her and he’s like um, no thanks, but I’ll go drink and show up at the end. I felt so sad for her when she realized he was out golfing and drinking and then just walks in and walks straight outside to the playground.

ASS.
your wife’s family is together for the FIRST time in her life and you just can’t be bothered.

You know who would never do that? Cary’s husband.

Because he’s too busy getting waaaaaaayyyy into picking out outfits for his wife and making her put them on and then discuss every detail about them.

like the other week when Tiffany went to do a video of Cary’s closet for her blog, and the ENTIRE thing is her husband showing different pieces he purchased with comments like “this is from the cary summer collection”

I REALLY JUST CANNOT.

I like Cary though……

you can tell it’s season one of Dallas because LeeAnne shows up to lunch with Tiffany, first words are “I love you and I’m so sorry”, the apology is reciprocated, and that is that.

I bet my-boyfriend-andy-cohen was not pleased with this.

He wants them to go Jersey on their ass.

OMG finally a gif that shows it all! Woo hoo!

really not into shahs this season so far

:: RHOBH reunions ::

Did I talk about this? I can’t remember?
shocker.
the only thing I really need to discuss is Rinna. I’m just so over you.
I loved you last season and this season I’m dunzo.
You’ve been replaced by my new true love, Erica Jayne.
You need to lay off with yelling “just own it just own it just own it”
and even more so….. sit your ass on the damn couch you look like a fool!

she needs to “walk away” so she stands there talking about how she has to walk away for an eternity and then walks 4 steps and keeps talking and then walks and sits back down.

:: tamer update ::
ummmmmm I can’t stand tamra but DAMN GIRL. looking good.

see other pics + the article here

:: RHONY ::

last week at bethenny’s BBQ in the hamptons, every single one of them needed to grow up and lock it up.

just say hello and be done with it. good god.

he really is such a creep and an ass. what is dorinda thinking?

I’m watching this weeks episode as I type this with the dinner scene between the two of them arguing the whole dinner AND I JUST CAN’T.

I seriously can’t even watch him. He gives me the HEEBY JEEBIEZ.

he gets those CAH-razy eyes.

hahaha oh my gosh Sonja announcing her Tipsy Girl Prosecco.

“I’m just the ultimate Tipsy Girl”

I mean seriously Bethenny is going to FAH-lip.

insert bethenny flipping tables with her eyes and words all over the place up in hurr.

:: Mazel of the Week ::

I just keep picturing the ‘This is from the Cary Summer Collection” and realizing I am already somehow into Dallas. Even if only for the ~~crap~~ pure gold we get with lines like that.

and you know how much I love you all and want you to watch as much as trash as I do…. so I pulled the whole Sanctuary of Style Closet Crash right here for you!

I mean all you need to see is the intro with Tiffany doing model poses on the side of a highway. It’s PURE GOLD PEOPLE.
and then watching Mark go through his explanations of all of her outfits is seriously SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD.
seriously. please watch in its entirety.
it’ll be just what you need to get you through your workday and one step closer to Friday.
Mazel to you Mark!

and then OMG OMG! they have weird blown up instagram photos of themselves on their walls of their bedroom!

Not quite as amazing Scheana and Shay, but hey, no one can beat their place.

EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: just coffee, no talk ::

May 5, 2016

ya know who’s just the worst??

……. tiniest pause ever……

YES.

You are CORRECT.

ME.

I just keep leaving you hanging with my lack of incredible sarcasm and ability to make you feel better about your own lives by explaining the mundane details of my own.

I promise that I’ll get my $#*! together in the coming days, but lots going on that I plan to share next week. Sooo. Trust me on this one. I’ll be back stronger than ever. Even it takes 97 glasses of Pinot Grigio to convince myself, and you, of it.

so just the smallest coffee talk pic since I’m discussing like one thing.

just coffee no talk.

so don’t discuss amongst ya-selves

I’ve only seen RHoDallas this week.

Haven’t seen any WWHL, RHoNY, BH Reunion Part II, Shahs, Southern Charm, the NEW Below Deck (Oh EM Gee I’m so excited) or even my favorite middle-aged-lady-in-my-heart DWTS!

can you feel my anxiety coming through the computer screen?

So here are my quick comments on RHoDallas.

I really only need to comment on the beginning and the end…. because the stuff in the middle was just meh.

Once again we realize that the drinking game of the night is 100% CHARITY. And I need to start saving this show for non-school-nights because woooo-wee I’d be lit and sleep like a baby.

LeeAnne leads us off with a charity (DRINK!) planning meeting at her “friend” Heidi’s house.

Quote: “Heidi is someone you want to be friends with. Her wardrobe is insane, she has a massive art collection, and her house is like freaking Taj Mahal.”

Oh yes. The qualities everyone should look for in a friend. Expensive clothes, expensive ~~(ugly might I add)~~ things, expensive house.

LeeAnne I just CAN’T with you.

and then to follow up this shallow tid bit :

When discussing the latest upcoming charity event (DRINK!) which is for women with HIV, she explains that the women can relate to her because “She’s been there”. Because you know, “she grew up poor.”

UM.

(huge pregnancy pause)

There are so many things wrong with you saying you’ve been there about women with HIV and perhaps the largest would be you saying you’ve been there because you were poor.

and then she throws in these awesome dime piece statements like “they aren’t looking for a hand down they want a hand up.”

and then she says Charity like 7 more times (CHUG THAT JESUS JUICE!)

and the previews for next week when LeeAnne and whats her name? pretty skinny LA one married to Brett Michaels?

when LeeAnne and that one are screaming at each other and the poor little valet man is just RIGHT THERE. like, RIGHT THERE two inches from them.

um and THANK YOU to genius reader Lauren who informed me of what was right in front of my face.

Stephanie’s legit doppleganger is Whitney from Chris Soules (Prince Farming) season of the Bachelor.

and the irony, Stephanie is from a town in Oklahoma that is the doppleganger to Chris Soules hometown in Iowa.

I wonder what Chris Soules is up to these days….. oh wait. No I don’t. Couldn’t care less.

ANNNNDDDD I cannot wait for this scene

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: mini monday coffee talk ::

April 25, 2016

sorry for the lack of Coffee Talk last week.

we finally finished up our home projects – I will share some photos tomorrow!

we leave for Florida later this week, so I thought I’d do a mini coffee talk today since I won’t be posting on Thursday, and to discuss the things I meant to chat about last week!

discuss amongst ya-selves……

:: Real Housewives of Dallas ::

I didn’t think poop could be discussed more than it was in the first episode ….. I was wrong.

If poop had been the drinking word of the night, I would have been in the hospital for alcohol poisoning 15 minutes in.

Favorite LeeAnne Quote of the night :
“I can still party hahaha i know how to have a good time

(then turns to serious face and voice)

but I party for a purpose.”

OH PLEASE.

I cannot handle this chick. she is so self righteous. she is literally a character straight out of a sitcom.

she is acting so pretentious and she doesn’t have the money or the status to be.

then we get to the mad hatter tea party

{is every week of this show just going to be them at different charity events? and only talking about charity events? poop and charity is seriously the only thing going on in Dallas? Gawd Bravo.}

Um. Is LeeAnne’s blush for real? or is this part of the over the top party look?

it is hot pink and streaking down her cheeks and something tells me it is not meant to be some part of a costume.

“this is a cherished event”

who talks like that……a nd I doubt it, tickets are $350 so even my ass could afford to go to this thing if I felt like it.

seriously the things this woman says and the tone she says them in just kill me

“crossing the wrong people in society gets you crossed off the list”

YOU ARE NOT A SOCIALITE.

YOU ARE LIKE THE MAN LABOR FOR THE EVENTS.

I like the little blonde side kick that just giggles.

I feel like there really isn’t much going on up there.

And DAMMMNN look at that ring.

:: Coachella ::

I’ve decided that Coachella is not only annoying,
but dangerous.

Because it does things like this to Taylor Swift.
HUH? WHO ARE YOU? WHAT?

:: RHOBH ::
best part of whole thing :
LVP is wearing the dress Erica wears all season in her commentary.

HOW does no one on her team tell her this and HOW does she not realize it herself?!?
TOO GOOD.

LVP railing in to Yolanda right off the bat about the divorce.

“did you know? or were you blindsided?

no it was about you

interrupts – so it wasn’t about the marriage?

did you know anything then?

was the marriage crumbling?

SHUT THE EFF UP PUMP

It just amazes me that Yolanda still speaks so highly of David and won’t say anything even remotely negative.

and Rinna – seriously – pulling out phone documents and holding the papers in the most dramatic fashion ever.

Just sit your skinny ass down.

:: SOUTHERN CHARM ::

This is just the best show on Bravo right now hands down.
I love this show so, so, so, SOOOO much.
And I always enjoy the anticipation of Kathryn’s next meltdown.
This week, she agrees to go to T-Rav’s polo event as a family
(because she just bribed him into co-signing on a brand new place for her)

Before she has even stepped out of the car the polo match, she is FUMING.
She sees that OTHER PEOPLE are at this polo event!
HOW is this a family event if OTHER PEOPLE are there? it should be ONE MAN polo match!!!
Also, the only people T-Rav invited were the Godparents of their baby girl, who were so excited to finally get to see the baby again.

I mean, how DARE he bring the godparents the polo match.
You know what is totally acceptable though, when fuming about him bringing someone to what was supposed to be a Family Day?
Doing the same thing and bringing your own friend, but your friend has had SEX WITH T-RAV not that long ago. Godparents? He’s the devil. “Friend” using her for TV time that slept with the father of your children and lied to you about it? Totally acceptable for Family Day.

I really can’t with Landon. The woe is me poor little rich girl that got divorced thing is old. You need a legit reality check.

also, how if you have no money is that the house you are living in in Charleston??

I also really can’t with not being able to find any images from these episodes, because a gif of her sobbing about not being able to fulfill 27 dreams at once that are all funded by someone else would be ideal right now.

:: Real Housewives NY ::

wow.
this season just went off with a bang and hasn’t let up yet.
the whole bra party fight scene was just nuts.
of course john shows up hammered at a women’s bra party, because what man doesn’t do that?
I couldn’t believe Bethenny had the balls (yet I can) to straight up call him out for his love of booger sugar and basically says he’s coked up that night.
which from watching, I think he definitely was.
it really WAS a gift handed over on a silver platter that everything they were saying he had done is suddenly right there in that hotel room.

I love Dorinda but I really don’t understand this stuff with John but it must be some deeply rooted stuff going on inside her. The fight and the things she was saying — and then the next day driving to the Hamptons like its nothing!? Like, do grown ass people (or “the elderly” as Jules points out) really get wasted and fight and say things like your never seeing me again and blah de blah and then wake up the next day and its like oh never mind.

John is horrifying and any man getting in a womans face and doing what he was to Bethenny scares me. And also, she will cut you so bad choice in someone to brawl with.

and OK, I thought my eyes were decieving me week one when Jules and her husband were driving and that they must have, like, rented some van randomly for that weekend,
but now I know that thing they are driving is their car.
WHAT the hell is up with their conversion van thing with a giant wall between her and the kids and like two bucket seats for the kids and then a random corner for the nanny and just ALL of it.
I am SO CONFUSED.

and these women are gonna kill her when they hear her saying “the elderly” comments. I laughed so hard at that.

:: zenon fans, get excited ::
at the end of may, disney channel is doing an entire weekend marathon of all of their original movies.
I. CANT. WAIT.

see the full list here

EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

April 14, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves…….

:: southern charm ::
Cathryn is just SO confused.

“what have i EVER done for them not to like me ?

WHAT have I done?

someone please tell me!?”

ummmm…..
re-watch seasons 1 and 2….
and watch yourself and what you say and do in every social situation….
and then get back to us.

mmmmmmmk thanks.

and Shep is still totally my Southern Charm spirit animal and I’m still in love with him.

:: RHOBH ::

Oh-em-gee what a yawner of a finale.

if I ever hear the word munchausen’s again it will be too soon

(sooooooo drinking game word for the reunion episodes?! I think so!!!! )

the best part of this whole episode:

when each of the ladies walks into the hotel in palm springs, the first thing they do each time is ALL comment on the concierge’s pink blazer. it was wonderful. and literally the only good part of the episode.

and Kathryn is FOR SURE the spokesman for the vanderpump kool-aid blend

Camille looked amazing and was in the cutest LBD.

and was dancing just like season one the night sheyite went down between her and kyle.

HASHTAG SEASON ONE CAMILLE FOREVER.

:: RH of DALLAS ::

I just……..

(long pause while I stare at the computer)

I just really …..don’t…. know……

(staring….. blinking…… blinking some more)

I honesly don’t really have anything to say because I’m not sure what I just watched for an hour.
but I think I like it? and you know I’ll watch it and I just don’t know.

It just was not AT ALL what I was expecting.

I was expecting more of like a Beverly Hills Housewives but Southern.

Like, a little more class, and the same amount of sass.

Not this like…. farting poop talk?

I mean, I am not easily offended at all, and I’ll talk about pretty much anything, BUT potty talk is a huge no no for me.
this is pretty much how I watched this whole episode:

I don’t want to talk about poop and this word was said like 75 times in the first episode.

and something tells me it won’t be the end of it.

So, I need to wait until next week to really disect all of this. I think I need to re-watch the damn episode because I don’t even know what I just watched!

But, one thing I need to put out there :

LeeAnne is just so loud and insane, and Brandi’s impression of her is amazing.

But I cannot figure out who LeeAnne is a Doppleganger of.

Like, she looks identical to an actress or something and even her personality is a character I have seen on TV before.

I’m sure someone out there on the internet has claimed it,

because I never could put my finger on Whitney from Southern Charm until someone far wittier and more clever than me did it…..

update: left out who it was 🙂
LADY ELAINE from MR ROGERS!

cant find the side by side today. damn.

so ladies, if you know what I’m talking about, help me out!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!!!! I FOUND HER!!!!!

its this person! this gif just came up while I was googling menopausal gifs for my RHONY commentary below — it was like an OMEN!!!

she is the woman from that show GCB (Good Christian Bitches) !!!!!

that got cancelled and was HILARIOUS!!!

this TEXAN character was LITERALLY her!

LITERALLY HER.

this has been driving me INSANE. I tried to think of it for like 3 hours at work today.

oh my gosh I have NEVER been so proud of myself in my life….

ok now I can go to sleep….

continue reading as if this interruption in the post made sense AT ALL

……. post as it originally was before my outburst continues below…..

Okay two things : Kelly, the head of DCC, must be DYING at Brandi and what she is doing on this show.

Any of you that watch Making the Team: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleads (which ya should, its AH-MAZING) know that Kelly would cut your butt from that team so quick if the word poop came out ONCE!

Ok three:

How old is Cary? I can’t even think of a guess because it really could be anywhere on the spectrum? Young and the plastic surgery has made her look super old? Middle aged with the pulled tight skin of a small infant?

Your guess is as good as mine.

and I seriously am loving watching Leeanne get all STEAMED about charities 24/7 this whole episode

but I’m hooked. there are no opinions raging in my brain so fast that I cannot.

OH WAIT. I keep thinking of a few small opinions, of course 🙂

WHEN DID ROCK OF LOVE MOVE TO DALLAS?

ok, but seriously, for me, like no opinions.

now I’m done

:: RHONY ::

they give me no time to comment on this because its on wednesday nights and I’m attempting to watch it as I write this post….

I’m currently laughing out loud at Ramona talking on the phone with bethenny on speakerphone while she watches herself in the mirror.

she keeps staring at her new breast implants and tilting them higher and higher while she leans back, hand on waist.

at one point she literally says a joke and every time she laughs she goes and looks at herself in the mirror to make eye contact with herself and laugh.

I’m DYING right now

and I’m seriously giving a slow clap to her for her body.

not even her body for her age….. just her body. I mean, girls got it.

i do still really laugh at some of bethenny’s comments

like her yelling ABORT!! ABORT!! in the confessional during ramona jumping on the bandwagon and throwing her best friends boyfriend under the bus in front of everyone.

ramona! stop it!

you know whats gonna happen……..

(annnnnnnnd Dorinda breaks)

her legs are spread elbows on her knees…..

YOU BETTER LOCK THAT SHIT UP RAMONA!!!

new girl Jules is like holy crap what did I sign up for!

“they didn’t take their menopausal meds

not that they would be my moms!

…… but they could (laughs guiltily).”

no, but really, because right before this Dorinda and Ramona are having hot flashes sitting on the window AC unit.

I Meannnnnnnn….. I really like new girl.

and then bethenny just WONT QUIT with talking shit about dorinda’s bf at dorinda’s party.

…… and just like that….. I’m shaking my head at bethenny again.

:: mazel ::

ok I’ve decided I’m going to like Dallas now that I’ve written four thoughts about it….

….. but mainly because I just saw this in my google images.

get it girl.

:: JACKHOLES ::

the people that cancelled GCB : Good Christian Bitches

that show was SERIOUSLY INCREDIBLE.

HASTAG : BY CARNIE, DID LEEANNE MEAN ACTRESS????? BECAUSE THIS. IS. HER.

EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

April 7, 2016

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

:: vanderpump rules finale part 746 ::

James is just repulsive. and this was his face the whole time.

which, sadly, I just realized is the face I constantly make (left eyebrow up, right eye squinting. literally if kip were to see this he’d say this is my face. damn it! I’m james!) I digress…….

Jax looks so much like Mufasa, especially when he is giving the angry closed mouth face.

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen bringing up the “sketch comedy” heated argument was just amazing. I think the beach-sketch-comedy-fight was the highlight of the whole season. it was such a perfect example of how truly insane and self involved these people are.

and also: NONE of you are funny. especially you Ariana. 9 years of sketch comedy lessons ALL FOR NOTHING.

james : “ANDY YOU HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT MY ALBUM.”

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen was not. having. it.

:: southern charm ::

editors note : I’ve decided I just have to start taking photos of my TV screen in order to get the pictures I want for the blog…. soooo prepare for next weeks pictures to be horrible, but I am sick of finding NADA to use!

SO happy this is back. I love this show so much. Every week. Amazing.

Cameron and Shep and their weekly antics are always perfection.

Craig can’t wait to show everyone how far he has come….. from living in his parents house, to moving in to his girlfriends parents house!!

wow craig! you’re amazing!

I believe zero of the story of how Thomas got his black eye

but good god, his new house that he is renovating…….

oh my word. real estate dreams.

landon and thomas better not be flirting.

because no one should be flirting with t-rav.

get some self respect.

cameron calls it perfectly when she explains craig’s all-fushia-pink-double-collar-ensemble for “his” party:

“He’s dressed like an Italian drug dealer with too much product in his hair”

pah-reach girl. pah-reach.

not having an image of this ensemble is exactly why I am going to start taking pictures of my TV screen for you.

and last but not least….. the icing on the southern charm cake, Kathryn.

how how H-O-W are these people so insane to have ANOTHER baby!!??

WHAT!? this is so dysfunctional.

And why do you have to take 30 pregnancy tests to realize YEA, UH HUH, you had unprotected sex maybe the first 29 were right and you’re pregnant.

Also, Bravo: why must you show us the bag of 30 pregnancy test?

For some reason I feel for her, because despite her rage filled bitchy I don’t give a damn ‘tude, you can tell she cares so, so much.

as my-boyfriend-andy-cohen would say “but sweetie. come on”. wake up. it’s called birth control.

it is SO PAINFUL to watch when she walks into “craig’s housewarming party”

and they act like they don’t even know each other.

seriously. your baby is in her belly and you can’t even make eye contact.

(insert my mother nance pants : “this is what is wrong with your generation……”)

cathryn’s ready to CUT a betch when t-rav goes to sit with her (like, hours later, after a looooong time of ignoring one another while t-rav chats up a senior in college. because her being there makes total sense?)

Who needs booze to rile you up and act like a lunatic with uncontrollable facial expressions when you have HORMONES!!??

I really missed her, like, head constantly spinning around from left to right while she makes the most unsatisfied I can’t believe what is happening facial expressions.

You can practically see the smoke pouring out of her ears. Her mannerisms are just as amazing as they were all of the last two seasons.

Thomas awkwardly asks “may I touch your stomach?” and puts his hand on her pregnant belly, and

I MEANNNNNNN if looks could kill.
The father of your SECOND baby who you don’t even speak to puts his hand on your stomach and it’s like infuriating to you. WHAT were these idiots thinking!?
as Jane Fonda, in her oscar worthy role in Monster-In-Law, one of the best movies of our time, would say:

“the only time they think straight is when they have an erection…. and it’s usually pointed right at the trampiest woman”

I just seriously can’t imagine this and I’m bamboozled over it.

also, I still haven’t seen the WWHL with Kathryn and I’m super excited to catch up on it this week!

:: RHOBH ::

Brandy, ever the BFF and supporter, hands out tanks to Yolanda and Kim Richards at their picnic.

Yolanda’s says Sick and Kim’s says Medicated.
and Brandi’s is something about not being sober.
Friend of the year.

I love Cathryn getting glammed over by the glam squad for her birthday.

I mean…. this yacht for the dinner nighttime cruise around dubai.

I JUST CAN’T

I didn’t know that lisa vanderpump and yolanda hated each other this much?

oh wait….. then they just replayed a bunch of scenes and I feel like a moron….

I did know this I guess…..

I’m over this argument that has gone on for 3 episodes…. I’m done.

:: RHONY ::

I’m just excited for more Dorinda.

and of course it opens with droned!

how is carole still dating adam? a year later!?

and his instagram is him throwing herbs in the air….. this sadly makes me want to go look him up and see what other nonsense is on his insta.

we meet Jules the new Housewife.

she seems nice! and sane! (don’t they always though….. ??)

and her kids are named Rio and Jagger…. yeahhhh no surprise there.

bethenny just attacks her at lunch like a praying mantis
simmer down bethenny. back off. lighten up.

also, you have one giant piece of hair that is parted to the left with the rest of your hair and it needs to be on the right and you keep trying to move it to the left and JUST MOVE IT TO THE RIGHT. it’s like IN your eye balls.

and quit commenting on the new girls weight! you’re one to talk – and you just met her!

this is the stuff where I’m like STAHP.

but all I really want to do is share some Dorinda gifs.

god love her.

i can’t wait to see all the ways she throws it down this season.

fingers crossed for 3+ martinis at every girls night out.

but I really don’t get why she is with Jon. don’t get it.

:: MmmmmmK Bye ::

I’m off to watch the Bamboozled Friends episode…..

EDITORS NOTE :
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry