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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

book club, Lifestyle

bitch stole my look, books + other thangs

July 15, 2014

every season of the bachelor or bachelorette,    
one of those bitchs steals my look.
I guess Andi and I have more in common than I thought. 
 ahhhh take me back!!!! 
oh hey girl. 

// parker adelaide dress //
I love that dress so much.  
I couldn’t wait to wear it on the honeymoon 🙂 

Anyways…. back to reality….
This really has not been my week.
You may have noticed I was MIA last Thursday for Coffee Talk 
(of course you noticed… you were devastated when you couldn’t read my typos and crazy talk that makes no sense). 
Last Wednesday on my way to work (my 3 minute commute because I’m lazy as hell and should just walk but I’d rather sleep an extra 15 minutes), I was T-boned by a cab that drove straight through a red light because “the sun was in his eyes”.  
  Ugh.
I’m fine, dumbass driver is fine, and luckily no passenger was in his cab.
 Sooooooo. theres that.
Then….. starting Friday I noticed a fly or two in the apartment.
I was annoyed.
I would kill them….. and then it was like they were either coming back to life, or they were multiplying…..  
spoiler alert: THERE WERE A LOT MORE.
 I was like “what the hell!!??”

The retail food space underneath us randomly closed with no warning, and haven’t cleaned a single thing in it.  We looked in the window Sunday and I almost threw up with the sight of flies the size of Cleveland EVERYWHERE.  Seriously….. there was a horse fly just now and I screamed bloody murder writing this while I watch Andi and the other morons on The Bachelorette.
So the landlord today said he’d “see what he can do this week” and “maybe we should get a fly strip or something, but let him know if that doesn’t work.”
Hell. To. The. Nah. 
  
Listen Landlord :: I was kind and waited until Monday to e-mail you, and now I am throwing my back out screaming and running around the kitchen and almost stabbing myself while trying to make dinner and swat flies out that DO NOT DIE because they are SO DAMN BIG and ALL STEROIDED OUT OR SOMETHING. 
If I’m MIA on the blog tomorrow it’s because I was either 
a. eaten by a fly or 
b. in the hospital from seriously injuring myself while trying to do something and a fly comes circling up to my face
or c. taken to jail for threatening to harm my landlord if he didn’t get an exterminator here.

ps…. do you think I’m dramatic much?
pps… but seriously….. I won’t show you the photo of downstairs inside the window or of the size of these creatures because I don’t want to ruin your week as well.  
I was prepared to do my honeymoon book review for the 3 books I read while we were away, but now I’m all riled up about the flies and thinking crazy thoughts. 

I’ll save it for Friday….. 
spoiler alert: You Should Have Known is definitely NOT “the next Gone Girl“.  They are liars who said that to get me to flip out with excitement and buy it (it worked) only to be disappointed. 





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by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. Alex {Things That Sparkle} says: July 15, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    That dress is amazinggggggg on you! And the flies.. WTF #restinpeacehomemadepizzaco

  2. Natalie {Designer Bags and Dirty Diapers} says: July 15, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    omg we had a fl problem once and it is the worst. Those little bitches will make you go crazy. Love the white dress, so gorgeous. So who do we think Andi will pick??

    • Taylor says: July 16, 2014 at 3:18 am

      they seriously are making me mentally unstable!! haha. For Andi…. oh my…. I hope she doesn't pick crazy eyes because I think nothing except serial killer (even more so when discussing all of his break ups and his family and his reactions to breakups last night). I think she has been obsessed with Josh since day one but who knows. I definitely prefer Josh out of those two. What do you think!?

  3. Ashley @ ladyacray.blogspot.com says: July 15, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Love it! I'd feel famous if homegirl stole my look 😉 Those honeymoon photos are GORGEOUS!

  4. Alisa Marie says: July 15, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    That dress is gorgeous! I love white even to just wear everyday!

  5. Laura {happily ever} Parker says: July 16, 2014 at 12:11 am

    That dress is gorgeous! And in my opinion you rocked it way better!

  6. Catherine says: July 16, 2014 at 3:41 am

    You seriously crack me up! Sorry about the disgusting fly issue – I would be insane if this was my house! Your dress looked amazing on you!

  7. Chelsea Woodring says: July 21, 2014 at 2:34 am

    I live in-between two horse/cow pastures so we have HUGE ass flies. I feel your pain.

    At least you don't have to worry about turning into The Fly. Hopefully.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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