discuss amongst ya-selves……
:: shah’s of sunset ::
I just want to be MJ.
watching her popping whip cream in her mouth straight from the can throughout the entire convo with Reza is amazing.
and Reza’s imitation of her boyfriend meeting her mother was so on point.
these two make the show for me. amongst the crazy and drama, they are the funny that holds it all together.
OK – so Mike decides that the best time to propose to his girlfriend is IMMEDIATELY after he is accused of cheating on her IN FRONT OF HER and in front of all of their friends.
yes, Mike, yes. genius. every woman’s dream.
SO he decides he is going to propose when they are skydiving right before they jump, and then she’ll know the whole way down, and get down on one knee with the ring when they land.
so he yells “will you marry me” to her and jumps out of the plane.
so he yells “will you marry me” to her and jumps out of the plane.
she cries the whole way down and her eyes are closed the entire time.
(I rewound this and laughed SO hard SO many times and I am seriously SO awful of a person it is SO not even funny.)
she LITERALLY didn’t even get to see the skydive that she had been waiting to cross off of her bucket list for so long because she was heaving tears with eyes squeezed shut.
It was cute once they were on land though with the sign and the picnic.
at least I think it was cute? she was crying her eyes out and seemed so happy. he was smiling behind his cheating-lying-eyes.
but maybe I’m just thinking it was cute because I was blinded by the huge ass gorgeous ring and jealous of the good-stuff-champagne they were drinking.
I mean do these people ever drink two buck chuck? its always the good stuff.
oh wait I don’t even drink two buck chuck anymore because its WAY MORE than that now….it’s, like, 3.99 or something. ugh life is so unfair.
ps I jest. Im way classier than that now and I drink the 9.99 prosecco.
not because of the price…. because I drank WAY too much two buck chuck and yellowtail chardonnay in college.
:: RHONY ::
I was very pleased with the first episode.
they gave us a lot for the first episode, a little update on everyone, an intro to the new lady that loves dry cleaning so much she is banging the owner of the shop, and got me super excited for the season.
also, AVIVA IS GONE!!!!!
you can tell Bravo is really ALL about bethenny. the title of the episode is B is Back and when they hold the little apple thingys in the intro, she is front and center.
so bethenny has been living in hotel rooms for the last two years.
errmmm I get that your hot and so sweet and seems to be perfect and I miss and love him already ex-husband is living in your place, but why can’t you rent an apartment while your new one gets renovated? renting an apartment is probably easier than checking in and out of a hotel?
but what do I know? I’m poor and mediocre, and you’re a gazillionaire. so presidential suites it is I guess.
however I DO know that those high heeled sneakers you checked into the hotel in are absolutely hideous ? who are you?
the scene where Luann comes to the hotel for a cocktail just shows that Bethenny and Luann clearly haven’t been friends for forever. “you dated for 4 years? where’s your apt?” ummmmm have you two met?
I mean oh my goodness I love Sonja so much.
the scene where Luann comes to the hotel for a cocktail just shows that Bethenny and Luann clearly haven’t been friends for forever. “you dated for 4 years? where’s your apt?” ummmmm have you two met?
I mean oh my goodness I love Sonja so much.
in case you were questioning her sanity…. still…. don’t.
She knows what she’s doing, OK!
she wants to make sure Ramona responds to everyone with the truth!
she wants to make sure Ramona responds to everyone with the truth!
She’s a movie producer people! So dot say “just like oh she has a great toaster oven”
no, but really…. most important of all the 97 things I want to comment on about her
GET A NEW FREAKING DENTIST.
is this tooth going to fall out episode after episode, season after season?
SOMEONE. SERIOUSLY. GET THIS WOMAN AN IMPLANT ENOUGH ALREADY.
the new girl, Daroda. Dorinda.
I really just want to call her Daroda, like Gossip Girl. It fits her somehow and you know it.
so, we will call her Daroda.
Daroda’s boyfriend owns an upscale dry cleaning shop, which really makes her weak in the knees. I mean, how could it not? they tailor/preserve/launder the most expensive and important gowns. but what I really want to know is, if the owner of the shop can’t even wear a shirt that fits him, how do I know he’s going to make my pants fit me?
the best is her describing how John and her ex husband are SO different.
her ex husband was extremely smart and kind. john is greasy and mafia-like.
but daroda loves dry cleaning! she’d dry clean her undies!
oh, daroda 🙂 (to be read in fifties sitcom mom smiling and saying “oh _insert childs name__” voice when they did something moronic yet adorable. don’t ask why I felt the need to add this sentence but “oh daroda” won’t leave my head and It needed to stay.)
I think this was the prettiest ramona has ever looked. All episode every scene. get it girl. the more pinot grigio to the face, the better the face? I certainly hope so.
Have you seen Walk of Shame on VH1?
Because thats how my mom and I spend part of our Easter weekend.
Completely appropriate for the holiest weekend of the year.
GO watch it. NOW. it is not to be believed.
Giuliana’s new book is out. so, if you’re a regular reader you know how I used to love her and over the years she has pushed me to the ugh you kinda make me crazy side and the ugh I really can’t stand you side.
in her new book, she talks about jerry o’connell cheating on her with now wife rebecca romijn. and really makes him come off like a total ass.
us weekly has a post with excerpts. I know celebs do this in their books all the time, but I just think its so pathetic and annoying that this is what she writes about and I think she’s a total ass for doing it. (I clearly LOVE me some Jerry).
more pathetic ? that I still want to order and read it….. I have a thing with celeb biographies….. I can’t get enough.
:: real housewives of melbourne ::
I don’t know how I keep forgetting to talk about this.
the whole “EVERY BODYYYYY” with janet and gamble swinging their arms in the air just KILLS ME every time. I die laughing.
The watch what crappens podcast (thank you reader again for telling me about it!) imitating it had be in hysterics with the people sitting next to me on the airplane staring at me like I was a straight up pscyho.
Pettifleur makes me absolutely crazy. And she is the definition of pot calling the kettle black when she says Gamble has poor fashion sense. Her outfits are heinous.
Jackie and La Mascara and the way she pronounces everything is great.
Just keep talking and making overly expressive mouth movements and you’re doing great Jackie.
Chyka is THE BEST. I love her and Bruce.
Gamble – there are no words. Her voice, her clothes, her inability to move her face, I love it all.
I seriously love this show. Love it.
ps I lied to you all, Million Dollar Listing is next week. whoops.
:: real housewives of beverly hills reunion part II ::
I’m starting to get exhausted, which means at this point my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohens neck must have been killing him from looking back and forth and back and forth.
lisa rinna and brandi toss insults regarding depends commercials to tampon endorsements.
rinna nails it on the head about brandi: “you dish it out but you can’t take it”
she’s such a freaking hypocrite it makes me nuts!
however, my girl rinna needs to stay SITTING on the couch and simmer down a little bit.
we’re on your side lisa rinna! don’t start pointing your index finger and hovering over the couch in a standing/sitting position like the rest of them! i know this is your first reunion but come on!
simmer, rinna. simmer.
I just can’t with the kyle and kim stuff. it is so awful and sad.
it is going to go down next week.
Random comment (or, the most random) of the post :
bravo has been showing a ton of commercials for The Longest Ride.
holy scott eastwood my GOODNESS.
blondes aint my thang and DAMN he is good looking.
:: southern charm ::
craig shows up with a red solo cup for a fitting for the fashion show. (the “fashion show”).
good god craig even I can put the sauce down for 5 seconds – let it go! or at least put it in a mint julep cup or something.
I feel really bad for Cathryn. T-Rav is SUCH A DOUCHE. Even a 21 year old who stupidly dated a 51 year old and got pregnant out of wedlock deserves more…… right? maybe? I don’t know. Maybe they are perfect for each other actually – but I feel bad for them. I don’t know I am so emotionally torn on my feelings for the two of them – it goes from laughing at them to feeling empathetic to I don’t even know what. Which, actually, is pretty much my emotional roller coaster in relation to most aspects of my life. And she looks so different in every scene it keeps boggling my mind.
thank goodness for cameron.
and cameron making fun of shep. god love him.
ps – shep is turning 35??!! he still looks in his twenties!? or am I crazy.
I seriously love him.
WHERE are travis and everyone for his campaign event? an open air wooden shack with the walls covered in writing with sharpies and markers and plastic folding tables? it looks like where I would love to drink at 22 (slash now and any age, but I’m not running for political office.)
cathryn’s facial expressions are seriously incredible. she has mastered the small-mouth-tight-lip-scowl. and it seems to be permanently plastered on her face. she nursed that red wine like a baby sucking a bottle down.
“the fundraiser is as sparsely attended as the second christening.” love you Shep.
another highlight is the exchange between cathryn and whitney.
cathryn : if my daughter ever saw that commercial she would be embarrassed for the rest of her life
whitney : you don’t think she would be embarrassed now
WHITNEY. gawd. reer.
back to the wreck of a relationship between Cathryn and Travis.
Im sorry Cathryn…… but he went to prison for BOOGER SUGAR (aka cocaine but BOOGER SUGAR is way more fun to say). and he has a child out of wedlock. and he lives in CHARLESTON. even shep knows its never gonna happen.
shep didn’t go to vanderbilt business school for nothing, although it may seem like it……. its not gonna happen. snowballs chance in hell.
:: mazel of the week ::
janets voice + this motion.
EVVVEERRYYYYBBOOOODDDYYYYY
EVVVEERRYYYYBBOOOODDDYYYYY
it’s brought me more joy in the last two weeks than anything.
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.
#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.
I seriously love this recap so much. The Daroda comparison is spot on. Looove it.
I will say that I get confused with you calling him Travis. ha I was like who is that because they all call him T-Rav all the time.
As a Charlestonian, I can't bring myself to watch the train wreck that is Southern Charm (however I am all about some other Bravo shows) but do they really try to paint Kathryn out as a 21 year old? Kathryn was a year behind me in college and is definitely 25…
Not saying her relationship with Thomas Ravenel, a 50 year old, is less "interesting" if she is 25 (vs. 21) but there is definitely a difference and I think Bravo is just trying to make her seem younger than she is.
This was a great coffee talk. You had me creepily laughing out loud in my cubicle this morning. That Janet gif is too much! EEEVVVEEERRRYYYBBBOOODDDYYY! I am glad someone else feels as passionately about it as I do.
god i love your recaps. standing slow clap for this one.
I think your coffee talk recaps are funnier than the actual shows!
I watch all these shows and agree on all your points. I love the way the Countess says Sonja's name. It's very Countess. I love Bethenny, but I kinda felt like a lot of her screen time was a commercial for Skinny Girl products. Particularly the scene with Luann. I love Melbourne Housewives. Everytime I watch it I fully expect Ja'mie from "Private School Girl" to pop out and call everyone 'quiche' which makes it that much better. (If you haven't seen PSG, http://youtu.be/2D09p2oNYu4 )
1. I wish Cameron had her own show. 2. Whitney's mom also deserves her own show (Patricia). 3. Shep is the cutest. 4. I'm a married mom of one, and I am addicted to Southern Charm. For shame.