DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES……… 

:: THE BACHELORETTE ::

Peter : He’s alright.  He’s just a nice normal guy.  Probably who she should pick.  Is that really his car? If so, damn.  Is he the only one left with a legit job?! PROBABLY. Was he the only one here the whole time with a legit job?! PROBABLY. 

Tyler : Tyler looks damn good in a bathing suit and this day date is amazing but sorry not sorry Tyler I don’t trust you.  You’re a player. 

No way are you ready to be getting married (also, just laughed at myself saying that because NONE of these people are ready to be getting married, but yaknowwhatImean.)

but again….. hottie. 

Jed : His family clearly does NOT want any of this to happen and is straight up saying to her that his music is #1 and should always be #1.  His mom and sisters RBF were ON POINT.

I feel like Jed has a combination of Little Man Syndrome and The Hottest Guy in HS when the size of the school was RULL SMALL and I’m just not into him.  (Is he even short? I can’t tell.  He looks tiny to me. Or maybe it’s those sherpa lined denim jackets that I just can’t see past.) . Like, you can play a musical instrument…. that does not make you a certifiable hottie?

I really LOVED when she couldn’t decide between him and Luke and his mind was about to explode. Ha….. how’s that for a blow to your ego?!)

Also…. you’ve heard he broke up with a girl the day before filming or something like that, right?!  This all better come up and be clarified at The Women Tell All. 

Luke : I really just can’t with the line “I was chasing sex”. It cracks me up. 
He is insane and truly terrifies me.   
But at least a bunch of teenagers at his church group vouched that he’s just SUCH A GREAT GUY. 

Also, he is way too animated with his face for me. (Coming from someone who is WAYYY too animated with her own face…. dammit…..I hope I don’t look like him when I talk.) 

Also, just to recap: Luke may be nuts, but Garrett is annoying as hell and just as bad.  He’s FOR SURE going to Paradise. 

:: SOUTHERN CHARM NEW ORLEANS ::
If you’re not into this show, you should be.  Reagan is like this cast’s LuAnn who wants to do nothing but talk about how she is engaged and pregnant after .5 seconds with her ex Reese who is a REAL WINNER.  It’s all about Reagan.
I love me some Tamika.  She makes the show for me.

:: RHOBH :: 

I loved the season recap this week just to hear GOODBYE KYLE again from Ken.  Won’t miss seeing less of Ken that’s for sure.

Kyle has never looked better. She is aging backwards.  I know she gets botox and filler and whatever but STILL – HOW is this woman doing this?!

this gif does not apply…. just loved it…. so it stays. 

I’ve said how Dorit has totally grown on me this season and now I’m like LOVING that we get some PEE KAY and some BAY BAY  JAGGAH talk.  I mean it’s annoying as hell, but I missed it? You know what I mean? I need the annoying Dorit and PEE KAY banter in my life?

HE NAMED HIS DAUGHTER ATLANTA!? SO he has a Phoenix PHEE-NIX and an Atlanta?! I CANNOT.

If you didn’t know, Mauricio works for THE AGENCY.

THE AGENCY seriously must sponsor this damn show.
There should be a drinking game all season long where whenever you see a THE AGENCY logo you drink, but there would be too many hospitalizations.

The only thing I can’t take my eyes off of at THEAGENCY party is the phallic marble in the restroom.

Camille is so entitled.  She, too, has the LuAnn complex.  She also is dying to be a full time housewife again like LuAnn was.  

Teddi in this tuxedo with ringlet curls.  I can’t.
It’s so so soooooo bad. 

Loved Denise telling Camille to back the f** off. 

Why is this party filled with Transformers? Maurico literally is saying “thanks for coming” to the transformers. I don’t understand this. We need Kyle’s sweaty party planner on this ASAP.

And GOODBYE LISA.
See ya on Vanderpump Rules – I won’t miss your can’t-ever-say-sorry-ass on Housewives.

We have Denise Richards now,  one of the greatest additions ever. 
WE DO NOT NEED YOU.  

:: THE HILLS :: 
I am into it.
Don’t judge me….. you’re into it too.  
You don’t want to be…. but YOU ARE. 

:: RHONY :: 

Bless New York.  So sad it is coming to an end. It really is the #1 Housewives show for me.
I really loved Ramona this season with her one liners.  Love to disdain her. She really cracked me up this season. 

So glad Bethenny calls out Lu that Madonna, Kelly Ripa, Jerry Seinfeld, etc aren’t being paprazzi’d in the Hamptons so NO LU they aren’t hiding in your bushes.  NICE TRY. 

Bethenny really does seem the most calm we’ve ever seen her.  Don’t get me wrong, I know she’s a lunatic (hello Miami dinner!) but hopefully she’s in as great of a place as she seems because WOOOO that girl has been through some sheyite this year. 

LuAnn is dressed as though it’s another cabaret (I swear she wore that exact outfit when I saw her cabaret last month).  And WHY does she ALWAYS wear that TACKY ASS suuuuuuper fake looking diamond necklace?! I love me some fake diamond jewelry, but that looks SO CHEAP.  

Them ending with her playing her song and her singing and shouting “louder! it has to be played loud! louder!” I CANNOT. She is THE MOST ENTITLED PERSON ON ALL OF BRAVO. I CAN.NOT.ABSOLUTELY.NOT. 

:: BELOW DECK MED :: 
I miss Mila the “chef” and listening to her monotone creepy commentary. 

But I really do love this show so much.

:: BIG BROTHER :: 
It isn’t summer without BB, people! GET ON IT.  I normally need a few weeks to warm up and can’t stand everyone right off the bat but so far I’m enjoying it earlier than usual.

:: LOVE ISLAND :: 
This is some new “live” dating show in Fiji on 5 nights a week on CBS.  I had the first episode on in the background while I scrolled instagram when I should have been blogging/sleeping/cleaning and just wasn’t into it.  Are any of you watching?!

:: SOUTHERN CHARM :: 
Can I be Chelsea? I want to look like her, have her personality, live in her cute little house, be a bad ass, ALL THE THINGS.  Total girl crush.  I CANNOT WAIT for her to tell Craig he has a vagina and that she has a bigger dick than him next week. She kills me.


I literally CANNOT with Craig that he still FIRMLY BELIEVES that Naomi is in love with him and miserable without him and desperate to be with him.  Like, Craig, you cannot even sew a pillow.  She is dating a doctor.  Problem solved right there.

The return of TrAshley.  Her and Thomas are broken up because he can’t, like, travel and go play polo in California because of the allegations against him.  Not because of the allegations, because there’s no more jet setting to Cali.

I believe TrAshley about Patricia using her to stir stuff up about Kathryn, because Patricia hated Kathryn more than anybody.
But everything else she says is talking out of her ass.  She denies something one second and then justifies it a second later “well I waited until they finished eating the food before walking up and calling her a bitch, there weren’t even that many people in the restaurant.”

From sorry to she’s a bitch/liar to sorry back to talking s-h-i-t.  To being nice to Whitney to talking s-h-i-t again about Patricia.  I’ve never seen anyone go back and forth on something so quickly, in a matter of seconds.  Her and Thomas really are made for each other.  
BUT I MISS THEM ON THIS DAMN SHOW.  IT WAS SO GOOD LAST SEASON WITH THEM. 

:: JACKHOLE OF THE WEEK :: 

I saw on Mrs. Nipple’s instagram account some very sad news about Summer House.  They were filming wherever she was and there were CUE CARDS AND SCRIPTS.  I hate to believe that this is scripted.  I mean, it can’t all be, right? These degenerates get so drunk there’s no way they could follow a script?! DAMN YOU BRAVO.

ALSO. I saw on SilkyMamas instagram that Metul may be cheating on Naomi.  Hopefully these are just rumors!!!