talk amongst ya-selves……. 

:: RHOBH ::

I just want a full show focused solely on Kathy Hilton.
Only her.  It can just be her sitting around the house and I’d be enthralled.
She is the greatest thing to ever happen to this show.
She has the kooky-ness of her sister Kim Richards…. but ya know, without the sloppy incomprehensible drunkenness.
She is utterly hilarious without even a smidge of effort – the best kind of TV gold.

Every single moment she is on screen is incredible.
There have been too many to name but ; traveling with her own gigantic old school fan that she shuffles into different rooms in the middle of the night, red bull at 3 AM while reading the paper, telling 3 truths + no lie, wearing a coat someone left at her house from a party, fake drinking the martinis, THINKING GARCELLE IS KYLE.

The best casting decision ever made was casting THIS Richards sister.

It is W I L D to watch the Erika and Tom stuff play out on the show.  I had almost forgotten that at first it was just them getting a divorce and LATER came the bombshell with all of his legal transgressions.

I watched the Hulu documentary ‘Housewife and the Hustler’ – which was actually truly terrible – and I just don’t know how she possibly couldn’t have known any of this.   There’s just no way she was completely clueless with ALL of it, right?!

Here’s a full recap of the documentary he main takeaway from the documentary was that 1) Tom is a complete and utter scumbag who did terrible things over and over again and 2) WHY ON EARTH WAS DANIELLE STAUB THE INTRO FOR THIS?! and a ‘source’?! and DANA PAM?! C’mon now. I get that it probably lured some more eyes to watch it, but it was a mockery with those two.

Reports today said that the victims will be able to come after HER asset to recoup the $11 million dollars some of them are owed. I wish so badly we could know what’s really going on in her head – I don’t trust a single word she says!

what else is happening on BH…….. 

Sutton.  Wowowow.
Is Crystal being hard on her? And being mean with saying she’s manic?
Sure.  I actually think Crystal’s an asshole.  Anyone who constantly smirks or laughs in someones face when they’re trying to better a situation or express an emotion is an asshole.
BUT if someone had to carry around a Nurse Jamie facial roller
for all conversations I’d be thinking she’s a kook too….
and I’d be a lady and laugh BEHIND her back. 

Is Sutton a pain in the ass for freaking out about the prank and her “thin ankles” being kicked?! YESS.
Is Crystal a pain in the ass for using the word “violated” to every single woman about a stupid misunderstanding an awkward moment?! YESSSS.

 

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:: BEN AND JEN ::
I truly completely really really truly cannot believe this is real.
Is this real?! Or is this a lengthy PR stunt?!

I a huuuuge  JLo lover, but I just don’t understand how she could get back with him when he’s changed so much since their last relationship.  And I’m not talking about the alcoholism and possible cheating on the perfect + amazing Jennifer Garner, I’M TALKING ABOUT THE BACK TATT.

:: RHONY ::

Bless Sonja.  She’s always the saving grace of the show.
not a sane saving grace, but a saving grace.  I love her so much.

Eboni’s ability to just keep eating and drinking during whatever insanity is going on around her is world class.  She just kept sipping her wine and cutting her steak as though nothing was going on…. certainly not a grown ass woman wielding a knife and yelling about her ex husbands bank and their interest rates.

Lu is still the biggest narcissist of them all.
Always has been, always will be.

Ramona saying ‘let me show you vertigo” and standing and half falling over when she walked was one of the top Ramonaisms I’ve ever experienced in all the years of watching her.  This woman.  I cannot.

:: BELOW DECK MED ::

I cannot stand Capt Sandy or Malia (mostly Sandy) so the Chef walking out on day one was amazing to see.  WHY did they even attempt to cook?! Why could they not order in?! Or make something a bit more simple than SEAFOOD?! or a full lobster in a shell?! WTF?!
I really am afraid of this Chef…..
I know from 9 million hours of television that many chefs are coo coo, and chef’s on Below Deck are especial nuts.  I can tell this guy is going to flip and I feel like he’s going to turn out to be as much of a scumbag as Adam, just without the TERRIFYING eyes of Adam.

also…. ummmmmm…. you can’t make CREW FOOD?! get this guy out of here.  HOW was he a celebrity chef?!

:: BELOW DECK SAILING ::
The way Bravo shows have huge legal drama and scandal going on right now is nuts.  Who would have thought this season would end with a BABY and the father acting as though he isn’t the father….. which is pretty hard to claim when there is a pandemic and mandated quarantines going on.  I CAN’T.

:: BACHELORETTE ::

WHY am I watching this?
That’s my only comment.
I guess the answer is for Bachelor in Paradise, but even that has gone downhill.

Oh, one more comment – this scene with Nick.

I CANNOT WITH THIS SHOW.

:: PPP LOANS ::

Did you see the tea about all of the Bachelor Reject Fam taking out PPP loans this past year? The list is LENGTHY for who shelled out for cash and *definitely* does not seem to be needing it.
Arie’s LLC for example was named InstagramHusband. ugh these people.
Again I ask…. WHY DO I WATCH THIS TRASH?!

:: SHAHS OF SUNSET :: 

Reza is naming his book Memoirs of a Gay Shah.
He went up about 600 points when he said that.  Hysterical.

:: RHONJ ::
I know this show ended like a month or two ago…. but did you see that strange video that leaked of Teresa’s boyfriend from some retreat?! Apparently the video was old and made for his ex-wife but still

of course the only place I can find the video is on bravo_low_down account (you have to follow to see it) but please please please watch this. it is N U T S.  post is from June 12th if that link doesn’t work…. trust me when I say it is worth watching0

:: JACKHOLE OF THE WEEK ::

RHOP starts Sunday!!!!
But Monique (former cast member after ALLLLL the things from last season) posted that T’Challa has passed away.

The only thing I want to know is what the freak accident was?!?!?

and I’m sorry, this relationship with this bird is just…… I can’t.

 

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:: MAZEL OF THE WEEK ::
fingers crossed it’s a good season, because they can be very hit or miss, but BIG BROTHER IS BACK TONIGHT!
even when it’s not their best season, I will happillllllly watch 3 episodes a week of Big Brother.

a short one, but I’m trying people. I’m trying.
I’ll do my best to get these back into the regular rotation so I can really comment
(aka lay into people acting like idiots on tv for my enjoyment) 

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:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE   #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
my apologies for lack of weekly Coffee Talk like the good old days.
My little twin loves take after their mother and if the television is on their eyes are LOCKED and IN LOVE and want nothing else which leaves me little time for my beloved TV until late at night.
I’m also too tired to proofread my own nonsense,
so if this reads as though Teresa Giudice wrote it…….sorry not sorry.